Mr. Spock Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 This is my story I posted on here already http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/527680-did-i-screw-up-my-second-chance so I won't bore you with details, read it if you want, I'm just going to get strait to the point. How do you deal with an ex's mind games!? I'm 2 weeks out of the break up and I already tried reconciliation and that didn't work, so before I went no contact I gave her a letter pretty much saying that I'm not going to stick around for her benefit and if she has no intentions of getting back with me or at least fixing things then to just leave me alone, that was a week ago. I've been in no contact since but she still keeps sending me random txts, like asking when the mall opens, I work in the mall btw, telling me about some art show, pretty much anything to get a response from me. I just want to know why?! Like I already told her how I was feeling about what she was doing yet she still insists on txting me these random things, hoping to get a response from me. I don't know what to do, I don't want break nc cause I've only been doing it for a week but I also want to just unleash my fury on her and just slam her on what she is doing to me. Cause it honesty hurts it feels like she doesn't respect my space and she's the one who broke up with me in the first place! Saying she didn't know what she wanted anymore and that she felt like she needed space. Any words of advice would be so awesome!
Author Mr. Spock Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 Ignore, delete, block. Simple. That's it? Don't even say anything more? 1
Toodaloo Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 That's it? Don't even say anything more? The minute you start entertaining her by responding or reacting to those texts you will be back to square one and she will have you back on her beck and call ready to screw you up even more, while using you as a potential emotional crutch and sex thing while she gets to be single and live the high life. You really need to cut her out so you can move on. The only way to stop it is to get tough. Do not respond. Do not speak to her. Ignore those texts. They are not constructive and not helpful. Delete them so you can't go back and read them over and over and torture your self about them. Then you can start moving on. 2
LooperDooper Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Agreed. You just don't deal with it period. Live your life and that's it. 1
Satu Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 That's it? Don't even say anything more? Yes, that's it.
Author Mr. Spock Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 The minute you start entertaining her by responding or reacting to those texts you will be back to square one and she will have you back on her beck and call ready to screw you up even more, while using you as a potential emotional crutch and sex thing while she gets to be single and live the high life. You really need to cut her out so you can move on. The only way to stop it is to get tough. Do not respond. Do not speak to her. Ignore those texts. They are not constructive and not helpful. Delete them so you can't go back and read them over and over and torture your self about them. Then you can start moving on. Yea that's what I'm trying to do, when I gave her the letter I also gave her a bunch of pictures of us, and some other little trinkets and clothes she had left at my house so if she doesn't get the point then she's just gonna have to learn, and if she really wants me back then it's gonna have to come from her, I feel like I've already done what I can do. Thanks for your input!
dave_1966 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 It's logical, captain. http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com/
Author Mr. Spock Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 It's logical, captain. http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com/ This guide actually really helped me! Thanks!
Author Mr. Spock Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 I honestly just wish I knew why women did this? Or is it just dumpers in general? Is it so they can feel better about they're decision, or keep me around as a second option incase what ever they were trying to pursue didn't work out?
lollipopspot Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I don't think she's playing "mind games" although I understand that's how it's perceived by you. I think she's trying to maintain some connection, but it's still too soon for you. I agree with the others - for your own peace of mind, do no contact. I'm someone who likes to maintain contact though, so for me, I would and have liked it when my ex stays in contact with me. Just because we didn't make it as partners doesn't mean we can't be friends. But you need to do what's right for you.
Author Mr. Spock Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 I don't think she's playing "mind games" although I understand that's how it's perceived by you. I think she's trying to maintain some connection, but it's still too soon for you. I agree with the others - for your own peace of mind, do no contact. I'm someone who likes to maintain contact though, so for me, I would and have liked it when my ex stays in contact with me. Just because we didn't make it as partners doesn't mean we can't be friends. But you need to do what's right for you. Idk if you read my whole situation in the link I put up there, but yea I did maintain contact at first, she even came to a house party I had, and we even had sex twice, hence why I tried reconciliation, but I feel like it backfired on me because she went from acting like my girlfriend (even though we were broken up) back to her wanting space again and saying she didn't know if we were still right for each other blah blah bullsh*t, so yea now it just feels like mind games, or "bread crumbs" as a lot of people on here put it, and I'm not trying to remain friends with her, if we can't fix things and be in an actual relationship then I almost want nothing to do with her simply because she was my best friend and I was there for her in a lot of stressful situations in life, and I'm not willing to settle for just friends. I appreciate you're input though!
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