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Haven't even broken up but still broken hearted.


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I had been contemplating a breakup for a while now. Been with her for over 3 years and has been nothing but an angel to me. Today she came back from being gone for about 2 weeks and I didn't really miss her when she was gone. I went to see her once she was back and gave her a kiss and I didn't even feel anything. That's when I started to feel sick to the stomach. Plain nauseous. Felt that way the rest of the night. She even mentioned that she feels like I don't feel the same for her.

 

I got home and told myself I need to break things off. And just now I broke down in tears. I can barely even breathe. Why do I feel this way. I am beyond confused.

 

Also, if it matters, while she was gone I met a girl that I've developed feelings for, but I'm trying to keep the feelings separate.

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Lernaean_Hydra

 

Also, if it matters, while she was gone I met a girl that I've developed feelings for, but I'm trying to keep the feelings separate.

 

 

The fact that you added this last little tidbit as an aside is...:rolleyes:

 

It's unfortunate that you thought meeting and catching feelings for anther girl while still maintaining a relationship with your current girlfriend was at all possible but - as you're finding out - you were wrong. Yes it matters and yes you should break things off immediately and don't look back.Your feelings are unlikely to reappear and even if they did, how long until the next distraction comes along?

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I see your point, but the thing is I've had crushes during this relationship before but never while she was away. The ones before came and left. I was wondering if the timing of it might have had something to do with this loss of feelings. I am feeling a bit better now but still just as confused.

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Break it off. It's only fair. Bear in mind that you will probably go through a few more relationships before you find 'the one'. This is obviously not it. And neither will the one with the new young lady, be.... but if you're attracted to someone else, you really DO need to break up before you mess it up.

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I am going to break up with her. I just don't know how to be as gentle as possible. I am also still confused as to why I had such a rush of emotions yesterday when I realized that I don't feel the same way anymore. Any input on this is appreciated.

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SteakandSalad

Clueless 21,

 

I wouldn't break up with her just yet. You are confused, give yourself a break, it's okay to be confused sometimes! :rolleyes: You've been together a very long time and in my opinion think it's normal to have crushes here and there. It just depends how far/long you let it manifest. She has only just returned- do her and yourself a favour and give it little more time. Don't throw this away callously.

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So, today i tried to break things off with her.

 

These might be important, or at least a good reference for the situation.

 

First part of the story:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/486998-she-s-perfect-but-i-don-t-want-her

 

Second part (after realizing something):

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/488115-haven-t-even-broken-up-but-still-broken-hearted

 

I had no clue I could hurt someone so much. I told her and saw the disbelief in her eyes. She broke down, and I do love her, so seeing her like that made me break down too. Long story short, we're still together. Maybe not the best way to handle it, but I couldn't help it. I am her first boyfriend, we've been together for years, and she has been nothing but an angel to me. I am starting to second guess myself about this breakup. Could it really be that I don't want to be with her or is it really that grass is greener thing and my mind is just tricking me? Could I just be so hurt by seeing her that hurt that I am trying to justify staying with her so she isn't hurt by a breakup? I know I'm over analyzing things, but I'm too deep in it all to sort it out now. I really need help.

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hoping2heal

It's not uncommon for the current partner to begin losing his/her shine once you open yourself up to someone else.

 

You haven't spent that much time with the new girl to know what will/won't pan out, or even how you will feel about her once the newness and excitement wear off.

 

Could be that your relationship has run its course.

Could be that you're just distracted.

 

Your current partner doesn't stand a chance against all the newness and hopeful possibilities that this new girl offers.

 

Perhaps your current girlfriend should be let in on what's going on with you and this other girl situation might resolve itself and end in a break up for you.

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Do you think I should just cut communication with the new girl and see if I can bring back the spark? It's not like I've been dating the new girl behind my girlfriends back, it's just a girl I like. My girlfriend really does mean alot to me and if there's a chance I can bring back the spark between us, I'd like to try.

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