noob_saibot Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 hi, let me explain what is going on. like most of you my perfect relationship suddenly ended and i was stuck in this swirling spiral of depression . and i was a straight wreck. I fought hard, harder than hell to try and save my relationship. and my partner had betrayed me. became suddenly mean and extremley angry with me? some where along the lines i became the problem? but i really dont know how, or what i did because things were going pretty good?:S or so i thought my partner broke every last little bit of i trust i had. and then my partner came back and broke some more trust before crying their eyes out for the second time and explained everything. now i could tell you everything my partner has done, and maybe i will in a second post if i dont recieve the answers i am looking for. but right now i am not so concerned about what happend. because the past is the past. i am more worried about what will happen. so me and my partner are planning on getting back together. but i am scared. i am so scared. for many reasons. i am so scared that i throw up when i go see my partner. and i do the same when i dont see my partner. my emotions are just a big jumbled bag of destruction. im scared how bad i want my ex.. so so bad. that i am willing to forgive everything. i am so scared that i will get hurt by my ex, that i just want to lie in bed and continue to wonder why this happend. i cant beleive anything that comes out of my exs mouth even though i know when my ex tells me the truth n when my ex lies. i am scared to tell my friends that i am getting back with my ex and i am embaressed to be seen with my ex. i am scared to be re introduced to my exs family. i did nothing wrong for the relationship to end, my ex did. and made it seem like it was me. the reason why i am giving my ex another chance is completley understandable to me. i heard my exs side of the story and everything i needed to hear. yes there are some blank spots that i still need to figure out. but i know my ex so well that just by their facial expressions, i could tell exactly what was going on. what i need to know from everyone is. i have never gotten back with someone before. so how is it done? what do i do? how do i conquere my fears and fix our relationship how do i stop having these anxiety attacks. and most importantly, HOW DO I FORGIVE MY EX! i love my ex partner to death. and i want to be with this person. i know we were meant to be. because i feel that true love is unconditional. even if the person hurts you deeply. what would you do to fix your broken relationship that someone broke. i dont want to know about moving on, i have moved on in relationships and its simple. i need to know about getting back together, because right now getting back together seems almost as hard as the initial break up. but for me only because i was the one who was mentally destroyed. i need some good coaching to help me find away to forgive and help my partner help me trust my partner again. please no negative comments. thank you:) ps. typing on this website sure does release some tension! Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 hi, let me explain what is going on. like most of you my perfect relationship suddenly ended and i was stuck in this swirling spiral of depression . and i was a straight wreck. I fought hard, harder than hell to try and save my relationship. and my partner had betrayed me. became suddenly mean and extremley angry with me? some where along the lines i became the problem? but i really dont know how, or what i did because things were going pretty good?:S or so i thought my partner broke every last little bit of i trust i had. and then my partner came back and broke some more trust before crying their eyes out for the second time and explained everything. now i could tell you everything my partner has done, and maybe i will in a second post if i dont recieve the answers i am looking for. but right now i am not so concerned about what happend. because the past is the past. i am more worried about what will happen. so me and my partner are planning on getting back together. but i am scared. i am so scared. for many reasons. i am so scared that i throw up when i go see my partner. and i do the same when i dont see my partner. my emotions are just a big jumbled bag of destruction. im scared how bad i want my ex.. so so bad. that i am willing to forgive everything. i am so scared that i will get hurt by my ex, that i just want to lie in bed and continue to wonder why this happend. i cant beleive anything that comes out of my exs mouth even though i know when my ex tells me the truth n when my ex lies. i am scared to tell my friends that i am getting back with my ex and i am embaressed to be seen with my ex. i am scared to be re introduced to my exs family. i did nothing wrong for the relationship to end, my ex did. and made it seem like it was me. the reason why i am giving my ex another chance is completley understandable to me. i heard my exs side of the story and everything i needed to hear. yes there are some blank spots that i still need to figure out. but i know my ex so well that just by their facial expressions, i could tell exactly what was going on. what i need to know from everyone is. i have never gotten back with someone before. so how is it done? what do i do? how do i conquere my fears and fix our relationship how do i stop having these anxiety attacks. and most importantly, HOW DO I FORGIVE MY EX! i love my ex partner to death. and i want to be with this person. i know we were meant to be. because i feel that true love is unconditional. even if the person hurts you deeply. what would you do to fix your broken relationship that someone broke. i dont want to know about moving on, i have moved on in relationships and its simple. i need to know about getting back together, because right now getting back together seems almost as hard as the initial break up. but for me only because i was the one who was mentally destroyed. i need some good coaching to help me find away to forgive and help my partner help me trust my partner again. please no negative comments. thank you:) ps. typing on this website sure does release some tension! You're not going to like the answers.... You can't make someone care or want to come back. Only they can do that. Doing anything else will make it worse. Dont talk to her. If she wants you back, she'll let you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author noob_saibot Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 You're not going to like the answers.... You can't make someone care or want to come back. Only they can do that. Doing anything else will make it worse. Dont talk to her. If she wants you back, she'll let you know. no thats the thng, my partner does want to get back together. and we are getting back together, but i dont know what i am suppost to do, my partner is trying and i can see it. but i am the unstable one now, and i need a step by step process on how to actually get back together, i dont need to win anyone back, or anything, its just we are doing it now, but what is my role in this situation Link to post Share on other sites
Author noob_saibot Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 and sorry i dont mean how to get your ex back, i mean , once it is already happening, what do you do, if you get what i mean Link to post Share on other sites
SCJACK Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 who broke up with who? Did you go NC after the breakup? Why does she suddenly want to get back? Were you in contact with her? Link to post Share on other sites
elseaacych Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 (edited) Your feelings are very normal for someone who has just been broken up with. However, you may need to keep an eye on them, because, if your feelings are they are as bad as you say they are, and are consistently terrible for the next two weeks, and you see no letting up you need to talk to someone and get help. Seriously. Depression is no joke. If you let it run out of control, it can be so devastating. Good news. It can be handled, you just need to blast it with some self love, patience, and a good person to talk to. That being said. You are in no shape to see your ex. If he is causing you pain psychically and physically, stay the heck away. It'll do you no good to see or talk to him. You'll be a weepy mess. And that's no fun. You are right. True love is unconditional. It is possible to forgive. It just takes a heck of a lot of time. And you can still love them, you just can't handle them. Here are some reading materials you might find helpful. They're the best of what I've found. The last is probably one of the most helpful to you: How to Let Go of a Past Relationship: 10 Steps to Peacefully Move On 10 Tips to Help Relieve Depression and Heartache Great advice on getting over a breakup! I?ve recovered quite a bit, and now I want to help others. Hear my story and accept the wisdom I?ve gained so you can start healing too. : relationships http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/337989-no-contact-nc-guide-long-walk-consolidated-discussion http://www.meetyoursweet.com/relationshiprecovery/downloads/repairafterseparation.pdf http://www.thelovelogic.com/forum/showthread.php?1860-Good-advice-for-those-who-want-to-heal-or-get-back-together-LONG-READ My personal break up journal of sorts on dealing with depression caused from losing my ex and wanting him back http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/468403-slow-fade-nc-no-chance Good luck!!! Edited March 27, 2014 by elseaacych Link to post Share on other sites
Author noob_saibot Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 who broke up with who? Did you go NC after the breakup? Why does she suddenly want to get back? Were you in contact with her? my partner broke up with me and suddenly had some kind of mental break down. i am not entirley sure what happend, but my partner turned on everyone suddenly, family, friends, and mainly me, i was the biggest problem all of a sudden. and practically ran away. and became this huge mess/wreck. lost in some fantasy world which i could compare to a 16 year old kid high on drugs in a hood basement with graffiti on the walls. and confuesed as hell on how they got there. my partner became caught up in the scene, and thought they were on top of the world, and then they realised how bad they screwed up. now i see my partner trying to fix things. but it is me who now sees from the other side n is unsure how to cope. handle. direction to go, or any major decisions on how to do make it work, i need to know how to make it work so that i can trust my partner again Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 my partner broke up with me and suddenly had some kind of mental break down. i am not entirley sure what happend, but my partner turned on everyone suddenly, family, friends, and mainly me, i was the biggest problem all of a sudden. and practically ran away. and became this huge mess/wreck. lost in some fantasy world which i could compare to a 16 year old kid high on drugs in a hood basement with graffiti on the walls. and confuesed as hell on how they got there. my partner became caught up in the scene, and thought they were on top of the world, and then they realised how bad they screwed up. now i see my partner trying to fix things. but it is me who now sees from the other side n is unsure how to cope. handle. direction to go, or any major decisions on how to do make it work, i need to know how to make it work so that i can trust my partner again I'd suggest Second Chances - LoveShack.org Community Forums 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author noob_saibot Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 yeah, i just feel like i have such a bad head ache that i am tired and i just want to sleep, my mind is doing so many laps, Link to post Share on other sites
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