Mrlonelyone Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I just heard through the grape vine, without asking, that she's pregnant. When we see threads like that on here usually it's about consoling someone who was holding a torch. This is not what I need right now. I wrote a thread about seeing her and seeing her looking unwell or something. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/446975-seeing-ex-passing-they-don-t-look-good-well If this rumor is true and she really is preggers. It would explain everything. She looks thinner due to wearing very baggy clothes in her latter pictures to hide how she's changing. She has darker and darker circles under her eyes, which is a look many pregnant women get. Hell, even her mood swings from seeming to love me to seeming to hate my 4ucking guts and back and forth. I feel:sick: :confused: about the prospect. If it is true, and the math rules me in, I will know no latter than mid-late January. Anyone else dealt with this? Any advice, any words, what the hell should I do?
bentleychic Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Kinda gross to think about isn't it? I would be horrified to hear that about my ex. I think it would be nice closure though - I wouldn't even want her after that. I think he's assuming the baby is his, if she is. 1
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 (edited) I think he's assuming the baby is his, if she is. I wouldn't say I am assuming. Based on what I know of her she could be anything from 7 months to 4-5 months along right now. We aren't on the best of terms, both of us have moved on. It is very possible it is me or one of perhaps a couple other men. aspiringuitarheroine I think my move is to just keep my ears open and, if the baby is born anytime which would indicate I could be the father, I will have to petition the court for a paternity test. I really hope it's just someone's idea of a really bad joke. Edited December 7, 2013 by Mrlonelyone
InnocentMan Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 You've got your heads up. Skip town before it comes on top.
bentleychic Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 You've got your heads up. Skip town before it comes on top. Klassy stand up kinda man answer right there! 2
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 You've got your heads up. Skip town before it comes on top. That may not be a classy answer that women want to hear. Anyone who has listend to the whole saga of M and myself would say that if I NC'd her and just let her twist in the wind it would serve her right. The thing is the only one to really suffer would be a totally innocent child. 1
JDPT Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I'm just curious to know why you automatically assume that the child is yours, that's if she is pregnant.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 I'm just curious to know why you automatically assume that the child is yours, that's if she is pregnant. Well, it's all a matter of timing isn't it. In a thread yesterday, linked in my OP I noted that since I last saw her hear appearance has changed in an objectively visible way. She looked like she was Ill or something. I noted her skin tone had changed even. These are all signs and symptoms of being pregnant, hearing that she is puts that all togther. Now, if her appearance has been changing in a way that is consistent with pregnancy for the last many months, then it is possible she has been pregnant since we were last togther. All of that means that I could be the father. I've been doing some reading, this happens more often than one might think. Woman gets pregnant by one guy, and dates another etc.
xxoo Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Anyone else dealt with this? Any advice, any words, what the hell should I do? Haven't you dealt with this before? With another ex?
Sugarkane Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I think you should actually ask her. Or she could be really depressed/ have something else?
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Haven't you dealt with this before? With another ex? Not exactly. That one didn't tell me she was pregnant or even make contact with me. I had to find her on my own, only to find her with an 8 month old baby. When I asked her right out if the child was mine she said to me "a real father would just know". Then her family moved her away and broke all contact for years and years. I have consulted a couple of lawyers and they are in agreement that unless I can afford their help I ought to not sue for a paternity test at this point (He's 11 now). Then there is the concern for what is more important my knowing or the boy being further traumatized. Had I the foreknowledge I do now it would have been different.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 I think you should actually ask her. Or she could be really depressed/ have something else? It's just way more complicated than that. We are both trying to be NC. Yet she has broken NC and I have broken NC but we have never managed to have a plain old conversation. Between her calling me on the phone and my not answering, and her ignoring my emails.. Bewteen her having an event at our school to which I got an invite, and me not going and so forth. The situation is all kinds of messed up. Hearing this just when I was really starting to move on.
Balzac Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I would not ask until 40 weeks past the last time you two had sex. Was she using a contraceptive! There is always a statistical chance of method failure. 1
xxoo Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Your previous experience gives you some advantage of hindsight. If you wish you'd known about the first child earlier, be sure to ask for a paternity test if it turns out she's pregnant. 1
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Taking the combination of Balzac's advice and xxoo's seems like a sound plan. 40 weeks past the last time we ...you know... would be in the near future. If there is a 1% chance that I am that kids father I'm petioning for a DNA test. Reading about what pregnancy can look like in a very thin woman it describes her to a T. Weather the baby is mine or not, I will admit to being relieved to think it's not the worst it could have been.
lovelorcet Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 Have you ever considered wearing condoms? As you are now looking at the prospect of possibly having another unwanted child coming into the world?
anne1707 Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 In your other thread, you have commented on how much weight she has LOST. You even suggest it may be around 25lbs. If she is several months pregnant and had lost that much weight, she would be in hospital. I think you are jumping to conclusions. She may be pregnant but I doubt she is 7 months on as you suggested she might be.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 In your other thread, you have commented on how much weight she has LOST. You even suggest it may be around 25lbs. If she is several months pregnant and had lost that much weight, she would be in hospital. I think you are jumping to conclusions. She may be pregnant but I doubt she is 7 months on as you suggested she might be. 1.) it is not like I have put her on a scale. I have only seen a couple of photos. 2.) Not all women gain weight while pregnant. Yeah. Not all women gain considerable weight while pregnant. i.e. Kate Middelton, and Victoria Beckham. As a matter of fact my Ex's face kinda looks like this one picture of Ms Beckham in her face right now Kate Middleton Weight ? Why She?s So Skinny During Pregnancy - Hollywood Life Victoria Beckham Looks Drawn & Tired As Her Due Date Nears - Celebrity Gossip, News & Photos, Movie Reviews, Competitions - Entertainmentwise Let me say again...as her due date nears she's that pregnant and that thin. and that kinda sick looking. You're right, perhaps she should be in the hospital if she looks like that and is that far along. That said, not all women do the stereotypical pickles and ice cream binge and put on 50-100 lbs when they get preggers.
Art_Critic Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 How accurate is your grapevine ? and if it is that accurate then ask them how far along she is.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 How accurate is your grapevine ? and if it is that accurate then ask them how far along she is. I don't need to. If that child isn't born in the next couple of months then I'm home free. I certainly know what times it was possible for me to have gotten her pregnant.
anne1707 Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 1.) it is not like I have put her on a scale. I have only seen a couple of photos. 2.) Not all women gain weight while pregnant. Yeah. Not all women gain considerable weight while pregnant. Hey, I am just going by what you posted. And all women will gain weight when pregnant - those babies do weigh something after all. That said, not all women do the stereotypical pickles and ice cream binge and put on 50-100 lbs when they get preggers. Wow. Shows how little you know about women and pregnancy. You're the one creating the stereotype here. A healthy woman will put weight on during pregnancy - the baby weight itself plus a few more pounds at a minimum. Whereas your earlier thread was going on and on about how much weight she had lost. If she is 7 months gone and had lost that much weight, whe would be in hospital. As she is not in hospital, I would say that is highly unlikely she is pregnant with your baby. 1
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Hey, I am just going by what you posted. And all women will gain weight when pregnant - those babies do weigh something after all. Wow. Shows how little you know about women and pregnancy. You're the one creating the stereotype here. A healthy woman will put weight on during pregnancy - the baby weight itself plus a few more pounds at a minimum. Whereas your earlier thread was going on and on about how much weight she had lost. If she is 7 months gone and had lost that much weight, whe would be in hospital. As she is not in hospital, I would say that is highly unlikely she is pregnant with your baby. I said she looked like she had lost weight based on how drawn and pale and bony her face looked. The dark cirlces under her eyes etc. I also base my conclusions on reading various literature, not just the ones I cited. Not all women gain a ton of weight when pregnant. Some women, in particular either very big women , and very thin women, don't even show that they are pregnant until latter in their pregnancy. I know this woman, and everything written about how pregnancy tends to effect very thin women points to her being pregnant. At least I certainly hope that's the reason for the change I've seen in her. The other options are all serious illnesses.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 Man, you need to WRAP IT UP. Yeah. Two possible kids in 11 years out of sex with only five women in my lifetime. So I am Wilt Chamberlin now? 1
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