siris Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Forum today is one I soon hope to forget. Trying to make a long story short my girlfriend is a flight attendant who is out of town 3/4 days a week so when she is gone I make certain that dog is feed check mail, etc... Stopping by the house today to check on things I took my phone off the car charger and turned it on while I was going in to the house and all of a sudden I see a text message saying sorry I'm not happy I'm breaking up with you just like that. First of all who does such a thing "a text message!" I texted her back and said call me when you get a chance and she did. Her words were you didnt do anything I'm just not happy and I feel like you are holding me up there are so many places I want to travel and see. Did I mention she is a flight attendant. She travels more in one day than most people in a year. None of this was making sense so I asked is there some one else. The answer is no. Years ago she broke up with me saying she was not happy but it turned out there was another person in the picture. After he left her after two years I get an apology. And then we get back together. But I'm I wrong for thinking that if there is something your mate could do to make you happy you should "talk" to this person and fix the problem. Im at a lost I think me trying to talk to her and find out the real truth would be a waste but I also think its just wrong to get a text message and I'm suppose to be like ok. Please give me some advice a part of me would like to just walk away but we have been off and on for 10years. A text message or you serious does anyone think this is cold. What should I do its obvious I'm not even worth a real communication. Help!! Link to post Share on other sites
FailedFirstLove Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Forum today is one I soon hope to forget. Trying to make a long story short my girlfriend is a flight attendant who is out of town 3/4 days a week so when she is gone I make certain that dog is feed check mail, etc... Stopping by the house today to check on things I took my phone off the car charger and turned it on while I was going in to the house and all of a sudden I see a text message saying sorry I'm not happy I'm breaking up with you just like that. First of all who does such a thing "a text message!" I texted her back and said call me when you get a chance and she did. Her words were you didnt do anything I'm just not happy and I feel like you are holding me up there are so many places I want to travel and see. Did I mention she is a flight attendant. She travels more in one day than most people in a year. None of this was making sense so I asked is there some one else. The answer is no. Years ago she broke up with me saying she was not happy but it turned out there was another person in the picture. After he left her after two years I get an apology. And then we get back together. But I'm I wrong for thinking that if there is something your mate could do to make you happy you should "talk" to this person and fix the problem. Im at a lost I think me trying to talk to her and find out the real truth would be a waste but I also think its just wrong to get a text message and I'm suppose to be like ok. Please give me some advice a part of me would like to just walk away but we have been off and on for 10years. A text message or you serious does anyone think this is cold. What should I do its obvious I'm not even worth a real communication. Help!! Coward way! heartless. She obviously doesn't like confronting people. truth hurts but seems like she's not ready to settle. She's always up in the air and free and when she lands to you she feels like she is restricted. She trie without someone else. Didnt work so came back to you. she will probably do that again. Cause she knows your there Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 People who break up by text = cowards. At least she called you and had a phone conversation with you. My ex refused that. My hands were shaking and I couldn't even text properly. What a dickbag!!! You are better off without people who treat you like an object they can just discard. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Yuck. I got broken up via text message too. She said she wanted to do it later in person, but I was so uneasy and felt like it was coming so I wanted to get it over with. I didn't need her telling me after class and sending me home crying. The way she broke up with me didn't bother me as much as the timing. It still sucked though. We were fighting, I went to bed. Woke up, saw she changed her profile picture. Saw her new boyfriend liked it. I flipped my shi*t. Insulted her and him, cried and cried and cried. Called. She told me how much I suck. I cried some more. She cried the fakest tears I've ever heard. Just a terrible time for me. and I just relived it. Bleh If she had feelings for another guy, she should have gotten rid of me. If she knew she cheated on me, she should've dumped me earlier. Or I should have found out earlier and dumped her. I even told her, I didn't want to share her with anyone. She didn't want to share me with anyone either. She wasn't. I was. Now he has her and I have no one. I hate losing so much.. this just sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
Coping Vortex Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 People who break up by text = cowards. At least she called you and had a phone conversation with you. My ex refused that. My hands were shaking and I couldn't even text properly. What a dickbag!!! You are better off without people who treat you like an object they can just discard. My ex did it today over text. The last thing texted her was the least she could have done was done it over the phone. Such cowards. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fancy feast Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Send back "Lol" and never speak to them again. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Mine was over text to, I didn't like it. Especially because she wasn't more then 30 feet away from me when we were texting. I called her out on it later how I didn't think it was right. It is cowardly, but I don't think it has anything to do with how they feel about you. I really wasn't that surprised, I mean we talked about more important stuff over texting because it was easier, I am the same way. I'd like to say I would have the guts to break up in person, but I can't say for sure so it's tough to judge someone for doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author siris Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 I truly appreciate all the responses. I'm just in a state of shock; numb I guess would be a better word. But still no real closure just a text that I'm breaking up with you and traveling to other places when she is not working is more important than me. I truly feel its just some excuse to hide the real reason. Question should I even waste time trying to talk to her in person. It just doesn't seem like a person with a conscious could do something like this but then again it's not the first time she has drop me like a rock. Again thanks to all and hopefully I can help someone too! Link to post Share on other sites
MyAngel Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Wow all these people getting broken up via text. That sucks. Mine was via email... :/ the people that break up this way don't want to have a discussion, they want it over with ASAP and this is a quick and easy way. Do they have any idea how PAINFUL it is to be on the receiving end of such a thing? To have to read over and over those words? They simply don't care enough to grant you an actual conversation. I'm sorry this has happened to you. If she's done this before and there was another man in the picture, I'm wondering if there is this time too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sharkbite Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Sorry you guys had such rough experiences, I'm curious how long the relationships were official for if you guys don't mind saying, I feel it is an important thing to mention Link to post Share on other sites
Author siris Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 Myangel thanks a mill. Question I need to go over her house later today or I could wait until she comes in on Sat. And try to talk with her but my mind tells me to just go today and pick up some of my items and not speak with her. Do you think I should leave a small note or is silence Golden. And yes I do believe there is some one else again. I sit back and read what I just wrote and cant believe that after being dumped by text message that I would even want to talk or leave her a note. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunshine87 Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Myangel thanks a mill. Question I need to go over her house later today or I could wait until she comes in on Sat. And try to talk with her but my mind tells me to just go today and pick up some of my items and not speak with her. Do you think I should leave a small note or is silence Golden. And yes I do believe there is some one else again. I sit back and read what I just wrote and cant believe that after being dumped by text message that I would even want to talk or leave her a note. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Hmm, from a female perspective this is is what I think is going on: she knows you adore her. She probably got really comfortable in the relationship many years and maybe even bored. (No fault of yours, some women get bored when there is no drama/when their boyfriends treat them very well). She broke up with you years ago and the fact that you took her back AFTER two years gives her the assurance that you will always be there. You are her back-up plan. Her insurance. Her comfort cushion. Don't forget that she apologised/went back to you because she was dumped. If she wasn't dumped, she might never have looked back. Its typical for couples in long term relationships to break up and make up, but this woman went back to you largely because you were the best option she had, subsequent to being dumped. Fool me once, shame on you. But fool me twice, shame on me. What makes me so mad is the fact that she dumped you via text despite your taking her back. Just goes to show that she never changed. She wasn't committed to you emotionally. She had her eyes somewhere else, looking for something "better" or "more exciting". You do not deserve this treatment. Pls don't leave a note. Silence speaks volumes! You've given her enough chances. Walk away. It will be very difficult but you need to break this horrible cycle. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunshine87 Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Ps: 10years? How come you didn't get engaged or even married? Link to post Share on other sites
Harradin Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Wow all these people getting broken up via text. That sucks. Mine was via email... :/ the people that break up this way don't want to have a discussion, they want it over with ASAP and this is a quick and easy way. Do they have any idea how PAINFUL it is to be on the receiving end of such a thing? To have to read over and over those words? They simply don't care enough to grant you an actual conversation. Mine was email too, was written by the guy she left me for too, and even signed it off with her and his names. I actually got it through my phone while I was out with friends and went loopy in front of them, that was embarrassing. She tried to tell me we needed to meet and then she cancelled it right at the last minute, so she resorted to email. OP, sorry to hear, I guess you have to cut contact and move on, especially if she can't make her mind up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author siris Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 Sunshine87 We were engaged prior to the first break up but its as if I always felt something shady about her and this is in no attempt to put myself on a pedestal. But her mom is on her forth marriage and her moms sister(her aunt) marriage number 3. It was a scary vibe to me not saying I would have never married her but to me if I'm married and some problem comes up I want to work on solving it at least try instead of taking the easy road out. If divorce is the only way out so be it. I didn't mention that she was married before and divorced her husband due to know fault on his on this I know to be true. Again this is in no way to disrespect anyone who has been divorced and I don't want that to be the center of this post but it was as if there was a pattern of red flags but I'm not the type of person to just walk away from someone if I see something like this I'm all about working on problems if they should arise. If what I'm saying in my original post is true and it is. If a person can dump me via text message after knowing me for numerous years and also the fact that I look at her son as if he is my own and spent so much time with him it should show you what type of person I'm dealing with. Again I'm not perfect but I wouldn't be so cold as to sending a text message. I'm not some computer. Would you send your best friend a text message to stop the friendship or talk to them.Thanks for looking at my post I feel like I'm in a room full of psychologist. Link to post Share on other sites
Author siris Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 Sunshine87 I also forgot to mention we celebrated her birthday on Sunday. Being that I know most breakups are not just out of the blue like people who have been dumped think. The person doing the dumping (no pun intended) has usually planned this for sometime. In knowing this I'm also at a lost for words as to why she would even accept my gifts we all know money doesn't grow on trees but just something else I wanted to throw out there. I just see this as being cold I mean truly cold. If all the trees were pens and all the oceans were ink I could never run out of words of thanks to all who have help me on this post in someway. This is what is so strange about the mind I don't know any of you but you are helping me but the person I thought I knew did the complete opposite. Link to post Share on other sites
MyAngel Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 No, don't leave a note. I know you loved her but she doesn't feel this way about you. Leaving her a note makes you look like a doormat and that you will keep accepting this treatment. Do you want this to continue forever? Each time she gets a new man and then they break up, she goes back to you? Stuff that. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author siris Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 So I'm just chilling today and get this long text message from the creep that dumped me via text message it starts out I will leave you alone after I say this and you don't have to reply back. What the "H" is that all about. I'm going to leave you alone well I'm I crazy or didn't she already do this when she dumped me. My next question is whats up with the you don't have to reply back. Does it mean really don't reply back or don't reply back cussing her stupid azz out for dropping me like a bad habit in the first place. Wtf I just don't get it. By the way the rest of the text message was just telling me more about how unhappy she is with me but I thought I already read that garbage in the first text message. So please give me some insight on this. Did she break up with me twice or does she think I'm illeriate and could read the first text. Its like I'm pissing and sh!!t!ng at the same time. Oops I mean laughing and crying at the same-time. Laughing because I got it in the first text. Link to post Share on other sites
Samilia Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I truly appreciate all the responses. I'm just in a state of shock; numb I guess would be a better word. But still no real closure just a text that I'm breaking up with you and traveling to other places when she is not working is more important than me. I truly feel its just some excuse to hide the real reason. Question should I even waste time trying to talk to her in person. It just doesn't seem like a person with a conscious could do something like this but then again it's not the first time she has drop me like a rock. Again thanks to all and hopefully I can help someone too! I would walk with my pride and never see her again. I'd block her, delete her phone number, and so on. But that's just me. "Dickbag" is a good way to describe the move indeed. I hope you find the strength to walk away, if she treated you that way, she will again. Wait, she has in the past when she dropped you for that other guy. Fool me once.. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 So I'm just chilling today and get this long text message from the creep that dumped me via text message it starts out I will leave you alone after I say this and you don't have to reply back. What the "H" is that all about. I'm going to leave you alone well I'm I crazy or didn't she already do this when she dumped me. My next question is whats up with the you don't have to reply back. Does it mean really don't reply back or don't reply back cussing her stupid azz out for dropping me like a bad habit in the first place. Wtf I just don't get it. By the way the rest of the text message was just telling me more about how unhappy she is with me but I thought I already read that garbage in the first text message. So please give me some insight on this. Did she break up with me twice or does she think I'm illeriate and could read the first text. Its like I'm pissing and sh!!t!ng at the same time. Oops I mean laughing and crying at the same-time. Laughing because I got it in the first text. She's fishing for attention / drama, and wants you to tell her off so that she will convince herself you're a psycho and that she dodged a bullet, rather than hurting a perfectly nice guy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 If she ever asks you back, really let her know she threw away a great thing. I was dumped by text about 2 years ago? ( I've lost count). In no way make it easy for these callous dumpers who get off on hurting people, because they do. They had planned this all along and didn't give a rats *** about us. Did we get a fall back? No! Why should we make it easy for them? Remember they threw us away like garbage. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
21254246NYG Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 I have been dumped the same way. It was the first (and last) time I date someone more than 6 years younger than I. I was friends with the girl for little while before dating her... Granted, she was a little quirky; but with the age gap what it was (I turn 36 in April, she's 25), it was a bit expected. Anyway, two weeks after she tells me that I taught her that "it's ok to trust again", I get dumped by text message. She accused me of spreading crap around our gym about a friend of hers (when this friend hit on me through facebook & tried to hit on my 19 year old brother, did I mention her friend is a year older than I?). Link to post Share on other sites
21254246NYG Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Right before I was dumped by text message, my ex gives me information of some unethical things she did at work- giving me a red flag. She got phone numbers of at least 3 guys from her gym's computer system (she was a trainer). On top of that, her & her friend hacked into my work e-mail, accessed my injury history (I had recent shoulder surgery). Needless to say, she got fired from her job in January, and there are legal matters pressing (harassment, stalking, HIPAA violation, invasion of privacy). I blocked her phone #, both her emails (grad school & personal), and on Facebook right after she dumped by text Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 I think you're right. I think there might be someone else in the picture. Basically, she's trying to tell you that YOU are the reason for the demise of the relationship. She's feeling guilty and her brain is trying to justify her behavior by blaming you rather than herself. "I wouldn't be with this guy if he would have done this, that or the other..." She's trying to give herself permission to forgive herself. If I'm understanding this correctly, you're going over there and taking care of her dog while she's gone? I would tell her mom or Dad that you two are done, get your stuff out of her place and give them the key. You'll have to tell them that they'll need to take the dog out, walk, feed and water him or her because, apparently, you just got fired from that job. No reason for the pooch to suffer from an evil witch. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Send back "Lol" and never speak to them again. My ex did it over text. He sent one that said, "we need to talk later" and I wrote back "?" and he was like "this is it, we're done." I responded back, "HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH are you kidding me??? How much of a coward are you!????" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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