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It is Facebook official with the new guy


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Ok, I just saw this, and now she is offical with her new guy on Facebook. I'd say that pretty much destroyed me seeing that. And this is just after we'd talked some.

 

Well, what is there left to do now after I have opened my heart up to her about how I feel, how sorry I am, and how it would be different?

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I have to echo geegirl...

 

And - forgive my being blunt, but - what part of "Back off. Big time. Go NC, stay NC"... do you not understand?

 

Leave.

her.

Alone.

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oasisfancortes

Delete her. and if u feel bad about it, then o well, how else will u get over her if u have her on your news feed. you still have that ex-presence in your life. and if she messages you about it, then tell her why. or delete your account altogether.

pfft. **** social networking sites. they've made simple things complex.

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Delete her, I deleted my ex yesterday. It's for the best. However, i'd just delete, not block. I sent a message after doing so, just saying I didn't want to see her facebook anymore.

 

Really if she's with someone new you have to finally realize it's over. It sucks, but the sooner you do the better off you'll be. It's ok to still be sad about it and miss her, but what happened happened and there's nothing you can do about it.

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Simon Phoenix

I just blocked all updates from mine in my news feed. As long as I don't creep on her page, it serves the same purpose of blocking/deleting her without the "look at me" aspect of it. Of course, if I get tempted to creep or she makes it uncomfortable for whatever reason (doubting she will) then I'll go full delete.

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I just don't see a point AT ALL of having an ex on facebook. Even for the eventual fact the the next person you meet will wonder while you're still in touch with her, and what you just said isn't worth buying. personally.

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Simon Phoenix
I just don't see a point AT ALL of having an ex on facebook. Even for the eventual fact the the next person you meet will wonder while you're still in touch with her, and what you just said isn't worth buying. personally.

 

I don't see the point of making it an issue until it is an issue. I don't need to make a grandiose, look-at-me statement like that at this time. Plus I'm best friends with her brother-in-law and good friends with her sister. I'd rather not have to incur any stupid drama if I don't have to. If it become an issue, then I'll do it, but right now it would just be a reaction just to have a reaction. If she wants to delete me that's fine, I couldn't care less and won't say a word about it, but right now it'd be more of an attention grab, which is what I don't want.

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winstonsdreams

I blocked my ex, we have mutual friends and every time she 'liked' or commented a status it would do my head in. I told her i was going to block her because it would just be easier, she didn't understand, whatever, life has been better since.

 

I really don't see why it matters how you look from taking such actions, it's about how you feel and doing what is best for you.

 

block and move on, she just isn't part of your life anymore.

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Simon Phoenix
I blocked my ex, we have mutual friends and every time she 'liked' or commented a status it would do my head in. I told her i was going to block her because it would just be easier, she didn't understand, whatever, life has been better since.

 

I really don't see why it matters how you look from taking such actions, it's about how you feel and doing what is best for you.

 

block and move on, she just isn't part of your life anymore.

 

I don't think blocking people is wrong at all. I'm cool with it if that's what you need. Right now it would be more of a hassle to me to do it than it is right now. She doesn't update Facebook much and even if she did, I wouldn't know because I have her news feed turned off. Even when we were dating we barely interacted with each other on the forum. If she was more active and it was more uncomfortable, I'd block with the quickness. I just don't need to and right now it would be counterproductive to my motivation, which is to just fade to black.

 

I don't care about the perception part of it. I care about potentially having to have several stupid conversations about it when right now I don't. That's a waste of my time.

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Well if you can avoid looking at their profile, i'm all for staying friends. I couldn't, so I deleted her. It was the best thing for me, so I really don't care what she thinks of it. It doesn't make sense to just stay friends so you don't seem petty or whatever else if seeing their facebook hurts you.

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Personally I deleted my ex off facebook and blocked her for the first few months, Not because I have any hate towards her I just chose to keep her mother and sister on facebook as my relationships with them has nothing to do with her. I reccommend you do the same. You need to let go and leave her alone for a long time...

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NavyAirTraffic

If you block them they can't search you, you will disappear entirely, you won't show up in tags mutual friend lists nothing. The same applies to them they disappear as well. If you unblock them facebook gives you a warning "are you sure, you won't be able to block again for 48 hours?". Gives you more control, one less avenue to torture yourself with.

 

Source: me, I just blocked my ex and almost unblocked her too.

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If you block them they can't search you, you will disappear entirely, you won't show up in tags mutual friend lists nothing. The same applies to them they disappear as well. If you unblock them facebook gives you a warning "are you sure, you won't be able to block again for 48 hours?". Gives you more control, one less avenue to torture yourself with.

 

Source: me, I just blocked my ex and almost unblocked her too.

 

^^^^

THIS!

 

Blocking is the only real option. NAT already explained why. Anybody that doesnt do this is being dissengenuous or is playing games IMHO. And why the hell would anyone want to be friends with her friends, her family, her dog etc?

 

Stop rationalizing why you didnt block her and stop making excuses. This should be just like the Nike commercial. Just do it!

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If you block them they can't search you, you will disappear entirely, you won't show up in tags mutual friend lists nothing. The same applies to them they disappear as well. If you unblock them facebook gives you a warning "are you sure, you won't be able to block again for 48 hours?". Gives you more control, one less avenue to torture yourself with.

 

Source: me, I just blocked my ex and almost unblocked her too.

 

Hang in there, NAT. We're right behind you..... ;)

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My 2 ct

 

On fb and blocking, it is fine, if you block them they are deleted even after you unblock them.

 

On her and the new guy, sadly this doesn't mean that the problem she had with you is going to be the same problem that will emerge some time down the road. Jumping into another relationship thinking it is going to be different means that you depend on others to make you happy, where the honest communication with your partner is what keeps every relationship healthy and fresh.

 

On common friends and her relatives on fb, best thing is to delete them, who cares if her brother in law is your friend. Get yourself so9me new friends and find out who you really are.

 

This breakup gives you an opportunity to change, learn, experience new things, push your limits, be yourself and happy.

 

Remember when a relationship ends there are always two parties involved, who did wrong, not just one.

 

Let her have her cup of fun and enjoy ALL the things this new guy provides which you haven't been able to provide.

 

Let her be happy and enjoy the moment, but remember it is only going to be for a moment.

 

having that in mind keep your head up and have faith. Cheers

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I truly appreciate your kind words and encouragement. I am in a heap of pain right now, and I'm going to see my family doctor in a few hours. I can't concentrate, eat, sleep, or enjoy anything at this moment. Baseball, my avenue for a getaway, isn't doing the job as I sit and still ponder on this. Working out is taking a blow, as it is not making me feel like it should.

 

Only for a moment? It seems like it may be more than a moment. It blows my mind...when I've talked to her the last few days, she's told me she loved me. Why even tell me that? I'm one that followed the heart, and if I love something, I want it. So many mixed emotions and cofusion. I just want happiness, and another chance to show her I messed up and things will be different. I cant even explain how painful this is, and I want what I had back. I miss her...

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Only for a moment? It seems like it may be more than a moment. It blows my mind...when I've talked to her the last few days, she's told me she loved me. Why even tell me that? I'm one that followed the heart, and if I love something, I want it. So many mixed emotions and cofusion. I just want happiness, and another chance to show her I messed up and things will be different. I cant even explain how painful this is, and I want what I had back. I miss her...

 

If you disrespected the relationship and her, then there was a reason for it...and these reasons don't just disappear. The chances are that were the two of you to get back together, there'd be a honeymoon period and then things would turn as bad as - or worse than - they were before.

 

Often people who have been dumped harbour resentments about it, even if they were dumped for behaving poorly/disrespectfully as in your case. There's also that potential for you to feel disrespectful towards somebody who would give you a second chance when you treated her as disrespecfully as you've described. However full of good intentions you might feel right now, people in your position can often be remarkably quick to go back to their negative old ways once they're comfortable again. It's harder for a human being, and their behaviour, to change than you might want to believe right now.

 

I think it would be a big error for your ex to sacrifice a promising new relationship for somebody who treated her poorly, on the basis of lots of heartfelt sounding promises. Whatever your current intentions and feelings might be, if she were to give you a second chance only for you to throw it in her face six months down the line, she'll be feeling ten times worse than she was feeling before she ended the relationship.

 

Better, surely, that instead of making all kinds of promises you might be unable to keep, you just focus on figuring out why you felt the need to be disrespectful in that relationship, and sort it out so that you don't sabotage future relationships in the same way.

Edited by Taramere
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I see what you are saying, and there is a lot of truth in it. However, the reason for my poor decisions and disrespect were due to a great change in my life with my career that was nearly unbearable. There was a chance of me moving 8 hours away and I couldn't handle it. Now that the dust has settled, everything is so clear, and I know I would not revert back to those ways because of how they have currently hurt me.

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I see what you are saying, and there is a lot of truth in it. However, the reason for my poor decisions and disrespect were due to a great change in my life with my career that was nearly unbearable. There was a chance of me moving 8 hours away and I couldn't handle it. Now that the dust has settled, everything is so clear, and I know I would not revert back to those ways because of how they have currently hurt me.

 

I sympathise. I think it's easy to underestimate the stress that change brings about, and the impact it can have on you. Sometimes getting hurt as a result of doing something is enough to prevent you from making that mistake twice. Like touching a red hot plate. Other times, finding new ways of handling stress takes a bit more than just the fear of getting hurt if you repeat previous mistakes.

 

While the two of you were still together, and the behaviour you regret was going on, how did your ex deal with it?

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She continued to be there for me, and still wanted things to work out. And I go over.there 2 weeks ago, after a bad day, and was very closed organs kept to my self the first night. Went back the second day and realized I needed her. Told her that, and she said she couldn't do it at the moment. And that is when it all started. And this morning, I receive a text from her asking what I'm doing. I've yet to reply

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I'm trying to. But it all seems skewed. I want to get her back and I don't think i'll be fine for a while if I don't. I wish I had seen this before.

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