SoConfusedAndInShock Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Please read my first Thread from few days ago: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/334714-nc-4-days-now-im-going-crazy So ive been trying hard to not think about him, but its hard. i wait and wait for that call or text but nothing. i really want him back but i know this NC is the best thing because he did as for space but at the same time im so confused on what to do because he also wanted us to keep on touch since he still loves me and jut needs time for himself. honestly, i know its BS but i can only pray and wait. 7 days of NC. I told myself if he really wants and misses me he would have called but then again he always used to say "y should i make the first contact" about anyone in his life. Idk what to think. some days are better but some i jut cry all day for the most part. 2 yrs is not easy when someone backs out for no reason. im stressed out beyond anything and im losing hope by the day. the guy i dated before him (my first bf) had the G.I.G.S after 1 yr and came running bck after 6 months or so. but this time is was differnt. yes i did cry and beg in both situations, but over time i got better and by the time my 1st ex came bck i didnt want anything to do with him caz hes been around. This one has got the same exact thing right to the point just like the last one. I know hes prob out there doing his own thing and living the life (as we're both only 19) but i dont want him to think im over him or that idc because i really do and this NC helps a bit but knowing him hes prob saying w.e if she doesn't wanna tlk. i dont want him to forget about me or the possibility of getting back together. the possibility of him being with someone else after what he told me the last time i was him (read 1st thread) would def send me crazy. i just need all the prayers that i can get as this has been real tough on me and as well as my family. Any advises? or experiences you would like to post here..thanks!
AlexanderJames Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Is losing hope such a bad thing? Without that hope for him to come knocking what have you got to lose sleep over? Maybe by losing hope you're mind and body are allowing you to move on, you just have to want to. I wish I lost hope haha. Remember back to how you felt after your first break up. Much the same yes? But you got over it, and you will get over it again. You say NC is hard but it's easier than the other options believe me. If you kept talking and putting effort in with him and got no where how would you feel? Worthless and unimportant. At least now you're putting yourself first and being independant which is good. Stick to NC and live for you. If he's going to come back he will. But honestly I hope he leaves it long enough for you to realise you deserve better and to say no thanks and send him on his way alone. 2
Pod81 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Ugh, of course he needs to make first contact if he wants to reconcile cause he's the dumper! He's only saying that because he has too much pride. Went through the same BS when my ex told me "The ball is in your court." Yes, it's maddening, but you know what? If he's too prideful to make any contact in the future, then he never really loved you that much anyways. If someone loves you enough, he/she will break down any walls and obstacles (including their own pride) to get what they want. He may have said all those rosy things during the breakup, but I wouldn't analyze it too much. I honestly believe he only said those things to lessen his own guilt. I know you've probably heard this a zillion times, but start working on yourself and stop waiting by the phone. You need to spend this time to take him off the pedestal and put YOURSELF up there! No begging, crying, pleading, agreeing to be friends, or yelling at him either! Doing so will just push him further away. If you truly love and respect him, give him the space that he wants! Start building the confidence that you once had because that's what will make you attractive to guys (whether it's him in the future or someone else). Trust me when I say that it does get better with time - I'm definitely noticing improvement in myself since my BU almost 4 weeks ago...and I was definitely a wreck that first week! If he does come back, feel free to post here for additional advice but for the time being, realize that there is a strong possibility he may not come back for reconciliation. Chin up and keep your head held high! 2
AlexanderJames Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 If someone loves you enough, he/she will break down any walls and obstacles (including their own pride) to get what they want. Hope you don't mind but im stealing this analogy. Hold's true to where I stand. This one sentence is going to give me the push I need to make or break things with my ex this weekend. Thank you!
Pod81 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Hope you don't mind but im stealing this analogy. Hold's true to where I stand. This one sentence is going to give me the push I need to make or break things with my ex this weekend. Thank you! No problem! Always glad to help!
hinatticus Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 I threw my pride out the window a long time ago. Pride is evil. Pride got me to this dark place. Being humble and throwing out the need to be right is the way to go. I agree about if you love someone you'll toss your pride out. 1
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