12 Days of NO CONTACT..and HE broke it!!!

[SandyRose]

Hey all, I had posted a thread a while back about my bf who broke up with me while being in Iraq http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=133874 Well he is stillllll there...and i had told him that i want nc and i just need time to myself to heal and i need some space. He too said he needed some time and space also...so we both just parted our ways, and made no contact with each other at all.

 

I never deleted him off of my IM list, and neither did he. But i was strong enough NEVER to message him, or e-mail him at all. I would see him online at times, and we never talked. He didn't attempt to message me either. Well, things were going great and i was feeling good...finally getting used to the NC and getting my life back in order. 12 DAYS....and he broke the NC!!! What the heck?!!! He messaged me online after i was on there for about 10 minutes.

 

I'm not roped back into him, or his game...i'm just laughing at the fact that he IMed me lol. He said he wanted to message me to see if he COULD say hi. LOL....uhm ok..that's odd!!! I really didn't give him the time of day...i kept my replies very short....4 words at most, and i was very to the point. If anything he did most of the talking...he told me he got a new job, and is moving back to the states. I told him i was happy for him and that's it.

 

I guess he realized i wasn't paying much attention..and he said he was gonna go to sleep, and that he just wanted to see if he could say hi, and that he hopes all is well with me. AND HE LOGGED OFF lol. Funny thing is he knew i was trying to write him a message back... but he didn't wait! He just logged off! lol....all i was going to say was...i'm doing fantastic, thanks for asking...take it easy..bye bye. But because he logged out asap, it didn't get delivered....lol....i can't help but laugh!!

 

Is he TRYING to see if the door is still open to the possibility for us to work things out when he moves back home to the states?!! Why would he "want to see if he could just say hi"?!! I'm thinking that either it bothered him that i was online and not talking to him at all, and it didn't phase me at all...or that he wanted to see if the door was still open to getting back together when he comes home...am i wrong?? Could it be something else?

 

See the thing is, we both respected each other's decision for time and space...so if he wanted time and space alone too, why did he break the NC? You would think that someone who clearly doesn't want to get back together again, and says it'll never work again..would maintain a NC policy. He even told me himself that he thought he was being naive when he thought we could be friends...and he understands that i can't do that...so he respected my decision to have NC. So why is he breaking the NC??

 

lol...i find it funny because it's like revenge is sweet...and NC really is a payback...it makes the dumper look like an idiot....and he ripped my heart to pieces...i feel great!!

 

i ask the posed questions because, ya know...curiosity killed the cat!!

[SandyRose]

Nobody has anything to say??

[SunnyLady]

Hey Sandy! It feels good to be gaining your power back doesnt it ;-).

 

Well he wanted to talk to you...probably missed you or something of that sort. I don't know much of a your story as i am in a bit of a hurry now. But ild say he must have wanted to talk to you (plus he sounded enthustic). Why? There could be several, perhaps he is worried about unleashing you fully (i.e letting you slip away permanently at this point in time) hence feels the need to initiate contact sometimes, yesterday being an example.

Maybe like you said...he is considering reconcilation when he returns (but i wouldnt go too far with that beacuse he might want you phyiscally but not the emotional attachment thus not a proper reconciliation).

 

It might have been a spur of the moment thing, however ild say not...because he sounded chatty and jolly from what you described. That's unsual for a guy who's the dumper...gushing out to YOU about his new work place and his future plans... Ild say he misses talking to you hence his decsion to break NC.

 

Time will tell what exactly he wants. But don't let him string you back. I had an ex who did the same thing, he contacted me first and then started doing so regularly. It turns out h wanted a reconcilation however i am doubtful as to his motives till today. I think he missed the physical part of me (although he never said so) but i think many atimes motivations for reconciliations may not always be the right motivations. Yeah some men CAN be that lame.

 

Right now i am in the same position with my present ex. He has contacted me twice and he seems taken aback that i have refrained from contacing him. So im in need of answers too. :-)

 

Funny enough i am