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Anyone is their 50s and above?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 20th November 2017, 9:25 AM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Myword View Post
When I posted this issue I hoped to hear from men like me who struggle to find women or who had given up. Successful guys are happy to boast. No one wants to admit he/she is a loser (as I feel I am)
because I have dozens of awful dates and incidents that would turn off anyone from dating forever. some guys have all the luck--so good for you
I would encourage you to keep posting, and vent when you need to.I'm sorry you are feeling so low about this. Be kind to yourself. No one has it all figured out. A lot of it is about timing and luck in terms of meeting a compatible person. All we have control over is our response to things that don't go well (such as not internalizing it), what we bring to each potential partnership (this is huge), and not being hard on ourselves while continuously working on what we can improve about ourselves.
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Old 20th November 2017, 4:03 PM   #47
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Originally Posted by Myword View Post
When I posted this issue I hoped to hear from men like me who struggle to find women or who had given up. Successful guys are happy to boast. No one wants to admit he/she is a loser (as I feel I am)
because I have dozens of awful dates and incidents that would turn off anyone from dating forever. some guys have all the luck--so good for you

Other people do seem to have all the luck. I see happy couples around me and I'm so envious and sad. There IS more to life than a relationship and I try hard to tell myself that. But it's not easy to believe when you're at home, alone and desperate not to be.
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Old 21st November 2017, 10:55 AM   #48
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I'm 49 and dating a man who is 65. Shared pool of interests, related professions, and friends, and weirdly, grew up in the same area, a few states away.
Neither of us acts our age. It fun and profoundly comfortable.
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Old 21st November 2017, 12:09 PM   #49
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Thanks for comments. I am probably the oldest member of this site and I realized when I turned 50 that I would not find love or rather she would not love me...because of my history. If I found someone I would be so grateful I would do my best for it to work. Alas, it is too late for me because women my age are just looking for companionship, nothing more I think. I am not actively looking but I think about it every day, why I amalone and why so many SWF left me or would not answer my calls. Maybe I was too picky but I must be physically turned on. I had nothing in common with them, usually. So one by one I blew my chances--or they blew me (no pun) I like women--and they usually enjoy talking with me and it stops there. Then I hear "I'm too busy" or a blank look or she disappears. I have lost out--as if all the ships of couples have sailed away and I am left on the dock and no more ships are arriving. BTW, I have at least okay looks with average build, short.
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Old 21st November 2017, 12:59 PM   #50
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Originally Posted by Myword View Post
This site includes a wide age range but not many 50 and above I have noticed. married or single. I am in my Sixties and single but have a very active interest in sex, love, relationships. And a high libido. I wonder how many others are out there especially in U.S. but everyone can answer. Women my age are usually not interested in sex of any kind. They talk about being friends. ( have tried online dating sites--ugh.)
Do senior men have any "bait"?
Whaaat??

Good grief. Most women don't even hit their sexual prime until mid-thirties. I'm 48 soon to be 49 and I feel like I'm in the prime of my life especially sexually. I'm both very sexual and sexually adventurous with no sign of it slowing down anytime soon (fingers crossed).

I've often found that men my age are the ones who are so often the ones who lack interest in sex and are not nearly as sexually adventurous as younger men. I'm not nearly ready to buy matching rocking chairs just yet

And I realize I'm making a sweeping generalization but that's been my personal experience in the 8 years I've been back at dating again.

I think men in their 50's and beyond have just as much 'bait' as any other man but I think it hinges on a few things like vitality, self-awareness, and open-mindedness. I also think taking care of oneself both mentally and physically is equally important.
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Old 21st November 2017, 1:04 PM   #51
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Thanks for comments. I am probably the oldest member of this site and I realized when I turned 50 that I would not find love or rather she would not love me...because of my history. If I found someone I would be so grateful I would do my best for it to work. Alas, it is too late for me because women my age are just looking for companionship, nothing more I think. I am not actively looking but I think about it every day, why I amalone and why so many SWF left me or would not answer my calls. Maybe I was too picky but I must be physically turned on. I had nothing in common with them, usually. So one by one I blew my chances--or they blew me (no pun) I like women--and they usually enjoy talking with me and it stops there. Then I hear "I'm too busy" or a blank look or she disappears. I have lost out--as if all the ships of couples have sailed away and I am left on the dock and no more ships are arriving. BTW, I have at least okay looks with average build, short.


I'm 52. My recent ex was 69. He dumped me. We had a good active sex life. He was no looker but I adored him.

I have no idea how you go about meeting a woman. But there is no way your chances are over. I wish you luck.

I know how you feel, being left, surrounded with happy couples. It hurts me daily to see it.
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Old 21st November 2017, 1:59 PM   #52
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I think there is this pool, albeit a massive pool of men and women who find themselves back in the dating game after being on lock down in long, miserable and very often sexless relationships/marriages with partners close in age. When they're finally 'free', dating becomes more like playing a game of catch up and exploring as much as possible before time runs out.

I was one of those daters.

And I don't think there is anything wrong with that necessarily.

Stepping out of a sexless marriage, I needed to feel desirable again. I needed to know I was still a sexual being. And I desperately needed to feel the weight of man on top of me again. After 8 years of no sex, I was petrified both my options and my vagina were dried up for good.

When I jumped back in the dating pool at 40 after being committed to someone for more than 20 years, I fully expected to be dating men my age. I had always been attracted to and dated older. Even married a man who was older.

But that just wasn't the case and it was shocking, eye-opening and initially, quite disheartening.

If it hadn't been for a girlfriend who strongly encouraged me to consider entertaining the scads of younger men blowing up my inbox, I don't think I would have dated at all

Fast forward 8 years and I managed to not only catch up for time lost but found myself AND my sexuality along the way and learned to be profoundly comfortable with both. I had one hell of a good time of it too thanks in great part to younger men who gave me a chance when men my age wouldn't give me the time of day.
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Old 24th November 2017, 10:57 AM   #53
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I agree with Myword on this. I stopped trying to meet SW/BF at all, and if I flirt, it is only in fun with no intentions. After I turned 40 I noticed a different social landscape out there of divorced women and their kids. They do like to talk about their kids a lot. And they always had to be back home not to late for the kids. Nowadays, I am so low that I would happily accept that situation with the right woman.
I've had enough going to smell the flower only to be stung by the bee or hurt by the thorns. Women my age rarely attract me and that is the bottom line--unless as you say, you have no standards, like some guys I know.
I am not just looking for companionship.
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Old 7th December 2017, 3:08 PM   #54
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Old guy (63) here. This is the first time I've surfed the In Search Of board so I didn't see this thread until today.

I don't know what Myword is up to. But for me, I am 'enjoying' the 'chase' on OLD so far. It's only been a bit more than 2 months (one month of which I've been 'on hold' while exchanging messages with a woman who tells me she's out of town taking care of personal business) so I'm not burned out yet. No sex yet, but I don't care because I'm REALLY looking for an LTR and friends first and I'll be happy (no, thrilled ) to sleep with one of these women if/when we get to the point where we care about each other. Lots of scammers who could be 20 or 30-somethings or could be a Dilbertville full of people at desks in the Cayman Islands doing mass production catfishing. Lots of unattractive women who have let their bodies go. But also lots of 55-66 (my match/search age range) who, at least in their photos, look from 'acceptable' to 'hotter than a pistol' and in their profiles sound like decent, caring human beings. The three women I've met In Real Life were all attractive enough to pass my looks filter (The 55 y/o was very hot but not interested in dating me ). I've tried several of the OLD sites. At this point Plenty of Fish seems to me to have the best 'mix' of available, attractive, decent, local women in my age range. My second choice is OKCupid. Ourtime is a distant third. I have specific objections to the business practices of the others.

Bottom line for the OP, if you haven't given OLD a 'fair chance' I suggest you do.

Last edited by nospam99; 7th December 2017 at 3:14 PM..
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Old 21st December 2017, 10:30 AM   #55
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I am a 54 year old male in UK.

After illness, marriage break up and bankruptcy, I'm finding no trouble whatsoever dating women.

I hit the gym at age 51 and got ripped lol so I am in the top percentage of the population in fitness now! Women of all ages like a guy who:
1. looks after himself and
2. feels good in himself.

I dated women 20 even 30 years younger than me but now I'm with a lady a year older than me, and she is the hottest yet
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Old 31st December 2017, 10:45 PM   #56
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Yes, I am over 50 and still interested in those things. I do get approached by men my age and older but they often put me off. I was approached online by a guy who sounded very interesting -intelligent, educated, high-achiever, had been in a socially positive role doing good. He seemed really promising. A few texts later and he had mentioned 'sex' in half the texts (bear in mind these are initial communications after meeting on a dating site. When I queried this approach, he said he didn't want to waste time. He wasn't looking for friends but to share a sex life. By this time, I'd had enough. He clearly could not converse about anything else. Regardless of the fact that I would have loved a sexual partner too, I just felt he was sleazy and not interested in me as a person.

I have turned down quite a few guys for the above reasons. They are unable to talk about anything but sex. They think that if they don't talk about it, the woman will assume they are only looking for friends. Well, they are wrong and they are shooting themselves in the foot, but I can't be bothered to teach them how to treat women. They should know by now.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 1:16 PM   #57
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Older Guy

Older man, freshly 55 (I can still see 54 in the rearview mirror), 2+ years out of a 10 year LTR relationship, in good shape (due to genetics, not the desire to work out, 'tho I walk a lot), some would say handsome and/or cute, reasonable height, financially secure, non-smoker, homeowner, career, blah blah blah.

After spending a year figuring out why I allowed myself to be treated like a doormat for 10 years (see: abusive childhood and resulting self-esteem issues), I started dating again with newfound confidence.

I do not do online dating, it's too time consuming and I hate typing. I meet women locally at the grocery, the gas station, library, the lake, the post office, everywhere really.

I've initiated a dozen or so dates over the past year with women ranging from 34 to 60 years of age and unfortunately almost every single one of them eventually displayed a red flag(s) that caused me pause for concern. The longest time dating was 3 weeks, the shortest 1 date.

With the exception of one 45 year old woman who very deliberately 'teased' me then dumped me (which I expected), I was the dumper.

With the #metoo movement and a general lack of hope of meeting anyone locally at the moment, I'm retreating into "me" land and working on issues that will ultimately make me that much more of a better man. I'm giving women a break and keeping my mouth shut and focusing on other things.

It's not that I've given up hope of finding a sincere and honest partnership, it's that I've realized it's not essential and that I am capable of leading a fulfilling single life and be ridiculously happy doing it.

It's said when you stop caring is when things happen. The thing is, you have to be sincere. I've put 2+ years into recovering from my failed relationship and I am genuine when I say I am a whole person with a satisfying life of my own. I have more important things to work on than finding another relationship at this point.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 1:42 PM   #58
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I am 66 and married for 45+ years. I live in a very large retirement community that encompasses three counties and had over 150,000 people in it. It is for active adults. You will not see old people hanging around in lawn chairs here. They will be playing all sorts of sports and dating. Yes, dating and marrying. Unfortunately it is heaven for men because the widowed women out number the windowed men, 10 to 1. The competition is fierce and of course the women who are not shy about sex get the lion's share of men. Most men do not want to marry since sex is readily available. If you think men are bad, you have to see the women and what they do to get men.

There are a lot of women who get younger men due to their financial stability and any man who hooks up with one of these retired woman does not have to work anymore. The same goes for younger women seeking older men who have a big pension or a million in the bank. There are pickup places and an active swingers club here. There at women in their 80's who are still sexually active. Looking death in the face gives many women, and men, an attitude to try everything they were afraid to try when married. They have bucket lists and sexual fetishes that their husbands would not indulge them in. They get pretty wild and there is a black market for Viagra since some of the more wealthy and attractive widowers will have sex with several women in a day's time.

My wife and I are still sexually active and kinky as always. Up to 7 years ago we shared my wife's best friend. It has been a major change for us to go from living in a poly triad for 30 years to being just a couple again but we have adjusted.
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