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Finding it impossible to meet single women


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 30th September 2017, 1:50 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by normal person View Post
So what percent of the hundreds would you guess are fake, experiments, or not single? Is it at all a significant percentage? I doubt it. If it were, people would have wised up by now and stopped using them a long time ago, and the companies would have gone out of business. But that hasn't happened, OLD has come a de facto way of meeting people. A basic Google search will tell you that. In a way it's even more efficient than trying to meet people in person because you're not limited to only the people who happen to be at the same place at the same time.

I meet plenty of women online. I get a steady stream of messages weekly. The "fake" messages are easily detected and ignored, and might be 1 in 1000 at the most. Suggesting that because "fake" profiles exist, that there isn't an overwhelmingly more amount of real ones is dubious. It's like saying the 1919 World Series was fixed, therefore, most sports are fixed and you shouldn't watch them.

People here are literally suggesting all women aged 20-29 are taken. So all the women we've met on there (let alone seen), all the female posters here, and all the single women we know in real life are all part of some elaborate conspiracy? This is ridiculous, guys. Do some Googling.
If you're getting a 'stream of messages weekly' from online dating sites then great for you. For most, guys in particular that's not the case, just look on this site about people giving up on OLD because it's such hassle with very little reward. I'd say that most males and females between 20-29 are involved with at least one person.
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Old 30th September 2017, 4:00 PM   #17
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OP, IMO much has to do with demographics but, accepting your experience to be true for your location my best advice is to broaden your horizons. The more and more varied your social interactions, the more women you are exposed to and the greater chance of one of them being single and interested in you.

When I was your age, decades ago, I went through the same thing but in reality it was my own fault. My peers were sexually active, getting married and having kids in their teens so by drinking age time, heh, pickin's were pretty slim. It improved somewhat as the early divorces happened 7-10 years later, late 20's in general, but those were a harbinger of future experiences where women never really came 'on the market' rather replaced their spouse while still legally married. I ended up in a few affairs because of that and not knowing the game. I had not yet perfected the skill of cutting a woman out of a marriage when she was ready to go so my male competitors who had those skills beat me out every time and, yup, a lot of them married those ladies. That goes back to demographics, supply and demand. Women were in demand. That's life.

IME, it wasn't until the then-new internet started adding something called online dating and I also had gained enough business success to start taking time to travel around the world that I started consistently running into pockets of single women. I ended up marrying the closest one, some sixty miles away.

Oh, finally now, after being around some six decades, the males are finally starting to die off orand the age-specific demographics are changing a bit, though the single women I run into now are often single by choice due to being cheated on or bad marriages or simply preferring freedom and a life without a man. Back when she was alive, my mother was the latter. My dad died when she was about my age now and she stated she'd 'had her man' and was done, and she was, living alone for nearly 30 years after. That kind of stuff isn't uncommon.

Good luck in your pursuits!
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Old 30th September 2017, 4:26 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Bantosm View Post
If you're getting a 'stream of messages weekly' from online dating sites then great for you. For most, guys in particular that's not the case, just look on this site about people giving up on OLD because it's such hassle with very little reward. I'd say that most males and females between 20-29 are involved with at least one person.
Well even if that were true and it probably depends on geographic, relationships dissolve all the time so a lot of them would end up in the sad bin that is OLD with the rest of us
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Old 1st October 2017, 4:51 AM   #19
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make time to go to bars...if you're too busy to go to a bar and approach women, you're prob too busy to date
I would modify Cookie's advice and stick to clubs/pubs that have bands playing music. A Club where there is just dancing only, unless its salsa/tango/ballroom dancing. Its a wast of time. Good luck. It will be super loud and what do you talk about?

At least if there is a band. You can always use the band as a conduit to have a conversation with anyone.
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Old 1st October 2017, 8:34 AM   #20
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There are niche OLD sites for short people. Have you tried them?
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Old 1st October 2017, 11:09 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by Bantosm View Post
If you're getting a 'stream of messages weekly' from online dating sites then great for you. For most, guys in particular that's not the case, just look on this site about people giving up on OLD because it's such hassle with very little reward.
You're referencing a contingent of people that are here only because they have problems. No one starts threads just to say everything is fine, because they don't have to. Look up stats regarding online dating. I think you'll find a large majority of people do it today and it leads to a large number of marriages (I think roughly a third of marriages now originate online). My single friends who use online dating are all successful with it (one of them met his wife through it), and the ones who don't are perpetually single. The only place I've ever heard of it being a "hassle" is here. All this makes me believe it's not the fault of the ap or the technology. If everyone else can figure it out but you can't, you need to reevaluate yourself and/or your strategy.

Also, you didn't answer the question. I asked you if you thought the percentage of profiles that were fake was at all significant. I don't think it is. Even if the percentage is 2% (and I doubt it's even that high), that's still nowhere near high enough to deter any reasonable person from using it.

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I'd say that most males and females between 20-29 are involved with at least one person.
There are lot of people of that age trying to get together as the biological urge is pretty strong. But if you go on Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid, Match, etc, you will literally see a list of hundreds or thousands of people who are currently not involved with anyone else. If someone refuses to believe that, that's their problem. You don't have a valid argument.
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Old 1st October 2017, 11:50 AM   #22
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Recommend you develop some hobbies that are female-dominated or at least balanced M/F. Cooking, culture, literature, arts, travel, crafting/making, antiquing, certain sports (hiking, tennis, yoga, sailing, salsa dancing, lawn bowling, skiing...) Probably varies by region.
Hobbies for adults on BuzzFeed Try out a new activity and look to see the ratio, and which of these new activities you enjoy. You have to be where women are to meet them. And the goal will not be to impress women, but to meet them and have fun together.
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Old 1st October 2017, 12:39 PM   #23
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You're referencing a contingent of people that are here only because they have problems.
Only by your generalization, but if you're so successful with OLD then why are you on here? I suppose elsewhere on the web you believe people are mostly proclaiming that online dating is a wonderful and useful experience .
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Also, you didn't answer the question. I asked you if you thought the percentage of profiles that were fake was at all significant. I don't think it is. Even if the percentage is 2% (and I doubt it's even that high), that's still nowhere near high enough to deter any reasonable person from using it.
What percentage should deter 'any reasonable person from using it'? If you Google: fake online dating profiles statistics it gives 10% as fake. I think that is just the tip of the iceberg. I'd say much higher. The people who I know that are active on OLD have multiple fake profiles.
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There are lot of people of that age trying to get together as the biological urge is pretty strong. But if you go on Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid, Match, etc, you will literally see a list of hundreds or thousands of people who are currently not involved with anyone else. If someone refuses to believe that, that's their problem. You don't have a valid argument.
Do you believe everything strangers online tell you?
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Old 1st October 2017, 5:16 PM   #24
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Only by your generalization, but if you're so successful with OLD then why are you on here?
I like to give advice and I think I'm pretty qualified to give it. Lots of posters thank me for it in the threads and in PMs. If you disagree with what I say or think my advice is bogus, that's fine. I always enjoy hearing counterarguments so I can help myself get to the truth about things.

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Originally Posted by Bantosm View Post
I suppose elsewhere on the web you believe people are mostly proclaiming that online dating is a wonderful and useful experience .
No, the point was exactly the opposite: that no one starts threads to proclaim that they don't have any problems. You don't go to the hospital if you're healthy. But here you are walking into cardiology, seeing a bunch of people with heart problems, and therefore assuming all people must have heart problems.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/kevinmu.../#19eb7dad66e3

One-third of U.S. marriages start with online dating: study - NY Daily News

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Originally Posted by Bantosm View Post
What percentage should deter 'any reasonable person from using it'? If you Google: fake online dating profiles statistics it gives 10% as fake. I think that is just the tip of the iceberg. I'd say much higher.
So even if it was 20%, could you not easily ignore the 2 out of every 10 messages from the obvious fakes and focus on the 8 real ones? Doesn't seem so hard. If I get an obviously fake message, I just ignore it and move on. One second of my life gone. Miraculously, my OLD experience has been unaffected by them.

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Originally Posted by Bantosm View Post
The people who I know that are active on OLD have multiple fake profiles.
That's strange and I don't know why you would associate with anyone who does that. The fact that you do makes me question your judgment. I've met plenty of people off of OLD in real life. Only twice were they the least bit deceptive -- they used pictures of themselves before they gained weight. The other 99% of the time, the people were as advertised.

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Originally Posted by Bantosm View Post
Do you believe everything strangers online tell you?
I believe my own experiences, those of people I trust, and reputable sources. Let me ask you this, if OLD is as bad as you say it is, how are the companies still in business and not exposed as frauds?

This is a ridiculous argument. OP, there's an internet full of single women. There are bound to be some out there who don't care how tall you are.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 1:30 PM   #25
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I like to give advice and I think I'm pretty qualified to give it. Lots of posters thank me for it in the threads and in PMs. If you disagree with what I say or think my advice is bogus, that's fine. I always enjoy hearing counterarguments so I can help myself get to the truth about things.



No, the point was exactly the opposite: that no one starts threads to proclaim that they don't have any problems. You don't go to the hospital if you're healthy. But here you are walking into cardiology, seeing a bunch of people with heart problems, and therefore assuming all people must have heart problems.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/kevinmu.../#19eb7dad66e3

One-third of U.S. marriages start with online dating: study - NY Daily News



So even if it was 20%, could you not easily ignore the 2 out of every 10 messages from the obvious fakes and focus on the 8 real ones? Doesn't seem so hard. If I get an obviously fake message, I just ignore it and move on. One second of my life gone. Miraculously, my OLD experience has been unaffected by them.



That's strange and I don't know why you would associate with anyone who does that. The fact that you do makes me question your judgment. I've met plenty of people off of OLD in real life. Only twice were they the least bit deceptive -- they used pictures of themselves before they gained weight. The other 99% of the time, the people were as advertised.



I believe my own experiences, those of people I trust, and reputable sources. Let me ask you this, if OLD is as bad as you say it is, how are the companies still in business and not exposed as frauds?

This is a ridiculous argument. OP, there's an internet full of single women. There are bound to be some out there who don't care how tall you are.
I'm not the OP. OLD is bad. In the Google search enter 'Online dating is' and see what listings are suggested. Those listings happen to be the most commonly searched phrases and no surprise most show OLD to be associated with a bad experience. Those listings give a much better picture than polls that are easily manipulated. Remember how all the polls had Hillary winning the election? OLD is big business and they can hire lawyers to cleverly write up small print to make it very difficult for one bring legal actions when they don't get the advertised results.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 2:24 PM   #26
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I've never used the paid sites, just tinder, OKcupid and POF. I have met a couple of girls who were on par, but it's too much hassle. Thing is most of the girls just use the sites to chat. They have no intention to meet face to face. You'll go through at least a dozen to get to one you'll actually meet in person and this translates at least a couple of hours a day on the app.

I've taken a look at match. It has a lot of the same women that are on OKcupid. If you scroll down their profile, you can view their requirements for what they're looking for. Basically its not the place to be unless you're tall, white, bachelor degree, make good money and conventionally attractive.

To put it to the test, a lot of guys will take pics of men with different levels of physical attractiveness and make profiles to gauge results. The results aren't pretty and confirm all the above.

And regarding dating sites going out of business. Won't happen, they get paid off of the advertisements. You paying to use it is just a bonus like YouTube or even this site we're on. "Wants less ads, more features, etx. 29.99"
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Last edited by jay1983; 2nd October 2017 at 3:34 PM..
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