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Why do older men not message me at all on OLD?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 20th September 2017, 3:49 PM   #16
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Curious, what are you looking for Cookie? Are you searching for a husband or just a temporarily/long term boyfriend? Do you plan to have kids? If so, at what age do you want to start a family?
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Old 21st September 2017, 6:48 PM   #17
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I'm older, want kids.

I do not message women in their 20's for the most part they are not interested in someone my age...

I did message whoever I found interesting at one point but encountered too many women put off by me messaging them so I just stopped bothering with women in their 20's.

If that is who you are looking for then you should search for that....

I wish you luck
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Old 25th September 2017, 9:51 PM   #18
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Should I feel guilty?

Thank you. I think I like older men now. They are less drama. I seek a long-term partner. Kids or no kids

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 25th September 2017 at 9:59 PM..
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Old 28th September 2017, 4:02 AM   #19
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Thank you. I think I like older men now. They are less drama. I seek a long-term partner. Kids or no kids

It's a good start for a person to know what they want, so you're getting there cookie! Now it's just a matter of weeding them out until you find a bunch of potentials. Remember, get to know somebody slowly
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Old 28th September 2017, 5:08 AM   #20
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Thank you. I think I like older men now. They are less drama. I seek a long-term partner. Kids or no kids
Less drama?
I doubt that very much.
Now you will be entering serious baggage territory...
Ex wives, ex long term gfs, kids, mixed up and hurt kids...
Guys who are hurt, bitter and disappointed.
The emotionally restricted, the commitment-phobes, the divorcees, the playboys, the still married and attached, the "separated", the manipulators, the controllers and the abusers...
Older guys seeking younger women who they know they can get away with murder with..

YOU think young men can be difficult, you ain't seen nothing yet.
Stay in your own age group is my advice, you usually know their language and are better prepared for what they may hit you with.

Yes there are good guys in any age group, but do not assume that the older they are means you are somehow entering a "better" pool.
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Old 28th September 2017, 6:15 AM   #21
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I would bet you look younger than you really are.. so you look too young for someone in their 40's or 50's to be hitting on.

Most women get creeped out by older men hitting on them and if you think about it for a good reason, there is nothing that a man in his 50's can bring to the table of someone in their 20's.. besides security that is.
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Old 28th September 2017, 12:46 PM   #22
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I would bet you look younger than you really are.. so you look too young for someone in their 40's or 50's to be hitting on.

Most women get creeped out by older men hitting on them and if you think about it for a good reason, there is nothing that a man in his 50's can bring to the table of someone in their 20's.. besides security that is.
This is true. And you definitely SEEM younger than you are. I would have guessed between 18-22.
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Old 11th October 2017, 10:31 AM   #23
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Huh?

Ten characters
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Old 11th October 2017, 10:35 AM   #24
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Thank you. I think I like older men now. They are less drama. I seek a long-term partner. Kids or no kids
Not necessarily trye. I havent found older men to be less drama. They often have psychological baggage from being divorced 2,3,4x.

The last guy i dated would bring his GROWN ADULT DAUGHTER on almost all of our dates. See, they are weird, too.

To be honest, they are less attractive usually. The ones who you really, really dont want are the ones who really come after you. I got rid of a 50 something cyber stalker so long ago.

Plenty of older men are trying to play the field. Ive even had men in their 30s, 40s try to lie and pretend they liked me so they could get sex.

Eta: Also, an older man will compare you to all the dozens of women he has met.

You dont do this like Amanda. You dont do this like Rachel. Thats one reason why some people will hit 40,50 and stay singe for a long time. They will want you to have everyones good habits and as few as possible of everyones bad habits. Oh and when your bad habits show its,"Youre reminding me of Christie!!!"

Last edited by hotpotato; 11th October 2017 at 10:38 AM..
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Old 11th October 2017, 10:48 AM   #25
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I would bet you look younger than you really are.. so you look too young for someone in their 40's or 50's to be hitting on.

Most women get creeped out by older men hitting on them and if you think about it for a good reason, there is nothing that a man in his 50's can bring to the table of someone in their 20's.. besides security that is.
I dont know. Ive been getting hit on by men up to 70 since i was 23. It seems to me like older men dont really care...? A lot of older guys ive met are broke so they dont even bring security.

That op is not getting hit on by men old enough to be her father or grandfather is a blessing. I have the opposite problem, older men wint stay away from me.
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Old 11th October 2017, 12:48 PM   #26
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Well, I am talking to 2 men older than me(one is 38 and another is 43) and will meet with them soon.


The reason I like them is because they seem more confident, practical, collected, and articulate. Younger men are kind of hard for me to talk sometimes. They don't seem very mature. Most I speak to are a little more emotionally mature than me, but that's like having more water than the Sahara desert. More importantly, a lot them don't keep up with current events or something. Especially in the science field, you run into guys who know next to nothing at all. Instead of it being an enriching experience, I often tell them about stuff. I like to learn. And their take on political issues are often bare bones and very out there. They're idealists without much grasp on reality; haven't been hardened by pragmaticism I guess, which isn't a bad mindset, but it's become tiresome to me.

Also, older men present differently on dates. I have only been on a date with one very long ago who was a mutual friend and he had a very calm demeanor. I don't know how to put it, and again, I am sorry for generalizing, but younger men are often kind of fidgety like they are almost tweaking out of their skin on dates. Maybe it's loosely bridled hormones.


I just think a date with older man will be a more interesting and dynamic experience. They have lived a longer life, after all.


I have a frolicsome personality, but I will try to tone it and be more mature on my dates. Hopefully they like me.
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Old 11th October 2017, 12:58 PM   #27
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Less drama?
I doubt that very much.
Now you will be entering serious baggage territory...
Ex wives, ex long term gfs, kids, mixed up and hurt kids...
Guys who are hurt, bitter and disappointed.
The emotionally restricted, the commitment-phobes, the divorcees, the playboys, the still married and attached, the "separated", the manipulators, the controllers and the abusers...
Older guys seeking younger women who they know they can get away with murder with..

YOU think young men can be difficult, you ain't seen nothing yet.
Stay in your own age group is my advice, you usually know their language and are better prepared for what they may hit you with.

Yes there are good guys in any age group, but do not assume that the older they are means you are somehow entering a "better" pool.
I could not agree more! I've dated a few older men - baggage galore! Midlife crisis, commitment issues, bitter ex wives and children who are screwed up from divorces...It's brutal! Beware of the older man...
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Old 11th October 2017, 1:46 PM   #28
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Younger men are kind of hard for me to talk sometimes. They don't seem very mature. Most I speak to are a little more emotionally mature than me, but that's like having more water than the Sahara desert.
Honestly as a 40 year old, I don't think I'd want to seriously date someone who describes themselves as such... I mean why would a mature person want to date an immature person? I mean fun loving and "frolicsome" sure, but someone who is emotionally immature sounds like something I'd be hoping to be past in relationships.
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Old 11th October 2017, 1:52 PM   #29
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In my experience, a lot of older men are over confident! The downside is that they can become too aggressive. It is true that as men het older, they care less what people think. A 20 year old man may take a 20 year old woman for granted. However, that 40 year old man may try to holla!

Maybe because ive met so many, but by no means are older men more articulate in general. I guess it depends. Some are articulate and smart but have other problems. My first bf was nearly double my age. Smart, nerdy, good job, but he was a sex addict. I used to think just like op, that older men are better. Young men have pros and cons, older men have pros and cons. One must decide what they can deal with.

Also, as far as online, maybe not that man older guys are using dating sites to begin with. Most of the older guys ive met, ive met them in low key places. Think bookstores and parks.

Kerp in mind that even if your man has kids and mom has custody most of the time, life happens. The mom can die or get really sick and bam, you have 3 kids in your house who resent you bc you took mommys place. That has happened to someone i know of.

By no means am i telling op what to do. Heck,i have a guy pal right now who is waaay older than me. Hes already alluded to how his wife screwed him over in divorce. People who are 30,50, and up have probably bern slapped in the face by life.
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Old 11th October 2017, 1:55 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by GunslingerRoland View Post
Honestly as a 40 year old, I don't think I'd want to seriously date someone who describes themselves as such... I mean why would a mature person want to date an immature person? I mean fun loving and "frolicsome" sure, but someone who is emotionally immature sounds like something I'd be hoping to be past in relationships.
Plenty of guys will try. I knew a guy who broke up with his much younger girlfriend bc she was immature. My ex said i was immature. Many guys will try so they can have a girlfriend 20,30 years younger than them. At the same time its obvious there will be differences because of the age gap.
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