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Why do older men not message me at all on OLD?


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Old 18th September 2017, 2:04 AM   #1
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Why do older men not message me at all on OLD?

I (mid late 20s) don't think I've ever received a message from a man over 38...
Why? I don't think my profile is immature. It's just interesting that I mostly get 30-35 with a few 38 but never any higher??? I mean not one guy in his 40s messaging me that I can recall? No guys in their 60s? I mean not that I'm trying to date a guy that much older, just curious?

Can other ladies relate?

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 18th September 2017 at 3:16 AM..
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Old 18th September 2017, 1:25 PM   #2
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Seriously, what is going on here. does it only show you people that you are searching for? Like only people who fit your search parameters? Is there a cut off age where you can't message? Or do I just suddenly become repulsive to men after they hit a certain age. This is really weird

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 18th September 2017 at 1:32 PM..
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Old 18th September 2017, 2:03 PM   #3
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Im 47 and I also mostly get messages in that age range and younger. Maybe that age range of guys is particularly active in OLD. I just recently met a guy who's 40 IRL and its such a relief to be spending some time with a guy who's not going to have to move on soon so he can have a family.
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Old 18th September 2017, 2:12 PM   #4
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I just figured out that you don't match with people on tinder unless you have their age selected in your search. Now that I have expanded my age range, I am getting older matches.

But I think you are right, grays. That age group is more active online dating.
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Last edited by Cookiesandough; 18th September 2017 at 2:22 PM..
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Old 18th September 2017, 3:50 PM   #5
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Why do you want guys in their 40s and up messaging you? Most women are trying to avoid that!
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Old 18th September 2017, 4:08 PM   #6
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I'm pretty old, so does this count?


Should I talk dirty or something?
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Old 18th September 2017, 7:37 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GorillaTheater View Post
I'm pretty old, so does this count?


Should I talk dirty or something?
Impress her with stories of how you killed the woolly mammoth in your youth!
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Old 18th September 2017, 11:38 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
I (mid late 20s) don't think I've ever received a message from a man over 38...
Why? I don't think my profile is immature. It's just interesting that I mostly get 30-35 with a few 38 but never any higher??? I mean not one guy in his 40s messaging me that I can recall? No guys in their 60s? I mean not that I'm trying to date a guy that much older, just curious?

Can other ladies relate?
Most men over 38 are not looking to start a family, most women under 35 are.
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Old 19th September 2017, 2:23 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
Is there a cut off age where you can't message?
It depends on the site. POF for example, has a built-in age difference of 14 years, no matter what you set in your preferences. This was put in quite a few years ago because the number of dirty old men messaging young ladies was causing women to cancel their accounts in droves.
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Old 19th September 2017, 7:59 AM   #10
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I'm not entirely sure, but when I was using OLD you would put in the age range you were looking for. I was 50 so put something like 40-60. If I was looking for FWB, then, heck yes 20 something! But I figured they would not want to date me so I did not include that age range in what I was seeking. So 40 or 50 year olds probably are not messaging you because their age parameters are note set to search for women in their 20s.
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Old 19th September 2017, 4:44 PM   #11
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i'm old.most women who are younger want children.i don't.
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Old 19th September 2017, 5:05 PM   #12
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Maybe they assume that they would be pushing their luck a bit too much. While I would have no problems dating or talking to ladies much younger than I (I'm 38) I don't generally go out of my way to try and hit on them. Too many women view this sort of thing as creepy. I wouldn't try to talk to any women younger than 28 unless she gave me some sort of green light in advance.
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Old 19th September 2017, 5:33 PM   #13
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No, definitely can't relate.

I find it very creepy to have older men messaging on OLD.

I would say, that perhaps older men who are not messaging are showing good judgment. More likely, they are assuming that a young woman will be hoping to have children/family and many... are probably already raising children with their ex-wives and not looking to have any more.
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Old 19th September 2017, 5:34 PM   #14
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To answer the original question, I am in my early 40s. I'd have no interest in dating women in their 20s, as a general rule anyway. We are just in different stages of our lives. Plenty of attractive women w their lives together in their 30s and up. So I wouldn't bother trying to match down below 31.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
I just figured out that you don't match with people on tinder unless you have their age selected in your search. Now that I have expanded my age range, I am getting older matches.

But I think you are right, grays. That age group is more active online dating.
Now I am confused. So you *want* to be messaged by much older men?
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Old 19th September 2017, 5:51 PM   #15
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I suspect it's because they don't feel they have a real chance to have a meaningful and lasting connection with you. Most mature men are past the one-night stand stage and would just like to have one good girlfriend.

Don't assume all are like that though. There are some who won't overlook you based on age alone. You just haven't come across him yet.
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