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Be My Guest and Leave was his response to marriage topic.

Getting Married Cold feet to pre-marital stressors--the place to discuss all the issues that come with saying "I do."

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Old 19th January 2017, 12:18 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by basil67 View Post
I'm trying to work out why you love this asshat.
Couldn't agree more.

HopefullyLove, I can't figure out why you want to marry him.

And I can figure out why you'd want to marry someone like him.

If "handsome" and "successful" are your two main criteria, you're going to be kissing a lot of frogs before you find a prince...

Mr. Lucky
"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." - Epicurus
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Old 19th January 2017, 9:58 PM   #17
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I think she wants to marry him because she has made an "investment" of her time with him. Even if he proposed to OP today and married her it would still be a dysfunctional relationship.

Marriage is not gonna make this a good relationship. Its not what he wants and I think its the time together that makes the idea of marriage a good idea.

Its not. Marriage is not the answer to your problem. Please let it go.
True power is having the ability to walk away from what I desire, to protect that which I love.
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Old 1st March 2017, 2:59 AM   #18
Join Date: Feb 2017
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Originally Posted by HopefullyLove View Post
I've been with my bf for 10 years. I have a child that I had from a prior relationship and he was literally a toddler when we met. We broke up and got back together about three years ago. When I mentioned when are we going to get married, he said he's happy if he never marries. He said I can be his guest and leave if I can't wait on his timetable. He says I can pressure him into that it is unattractive and makes me look like a lonely bitter woman. He said I need to cook more and if I had what it took I would be engaged by now. Mind you, he told me countless times he's in love with me and will marry me, he said he would marry me once I lost some weight and I did. He actually said he would propose if I met my weight goal and that came and went.
I...can't believe he said/did this. OMG.

Leave. It'll make you appreciate who you're really meant to be with all that much more when they come around.
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Old 16th March 2017, 8:35 PM   #19
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Oh, nothing is ever his fault, is it? It can't be that he's too shallow. It has to be that you're too fat. It can't be that he's not nice to you to earn affection. It has to be that you aren't affectionate enough.

I feel bad for your daughter, but this man being her role model is teaching her to put up with a critical jerk of a man. And you putting up with him is teaching her the same thing. She'd be better served by seeing you pack up and leave because he wasn't treating you right. She'll soon be 18, so she can always see him then IF he gives a crap enough to want to see her and if you can trust him with her.

This is just a bad relationship. He's a BIG bully. He's abusive. Your daughter is learning who to choose from you both.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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Old 16th March 2017, 11:19 PM   #20
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It sounds like you should stop hanging out on Saturdays. I'd take your son someplace fun and make a day of it.

Here are the stark facts:
  • He's not the boy's real father
  • You barely spend any time together
  • He's not a marriage prospect for you, so you're wasting your time
  • You probably should lose a little weight, it will help you attract new men. Only you know for sure.
  • You're not getting any younger either
He invited you to do this, and you should accept this particular invitation. If ever there was a case for ghosting on somebody, this is probably it.

I would begin to think of his recent declarations as your closure. You've heard everything you need to know.
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