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is the friendzone actually real?


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 4th August 2017, 9:18 PM   #1
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is the friendzone actually real?

https://www.buzzfeed.com/gracespelma...nB#.dqqYLLlPX2

Personally I don't think its real. Friendship is something different. almost always its just another way of labeling rejection
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Old 4th August 2017, 9:33 PM   #2
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if you were once in a relationship, no I don't think you can friendzone....there's intimate memory that you both shared together. When me and my ex were talking causally, our relationship was brought up and eventually got back together..
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Old 4th August 2017, 11:18 PM   #3
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I basically agree with most of the comments in that link about women don't owe men to be sexual with them and that it's some coping mechanism, but I do think there is a point in a relationship when it's too late to come back and that's what I call the friend zone but I'm sure it means different things to different people.
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Old 4th August 2017, 11:23 PM   #4
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The Friendzone is real. Let's not pretend it isn't.

There are guys who want sex or a relationship, make a wrong turn somewhere, and end up in Never-Gonna-Get-It land.

It happens. Quite often.
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Old 4th August 2017, 11:37 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by MidKnightDreams View Post
The Friendzone is real. Let's not pretend it isn't.

There are guys who want sex or a relationship, make a wrong turn somewhere, and end up in Never-Gonna-Get-It land.

It happens. Quite often.
Yep, it exists.

The difference is women don't actually want to be friends with you when they friendzone you.

They want you around for emotional or financial support and never actually treat you like a friend. Yet, they don't often flat out reject you and tell you there is zero possibility of anything romantic.

When a girl says she wants to be just friends, she doesn't actually want to be friends. She is rejecting you as a romantic possibility.
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Old 5th August 2017, 4:31 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by Ana622 View Post
if you were once in a relationship, no I don't think you can friendzone....there's intimate memory that you both shared together. When me and my ex were talking causally, our relationship was brought up and eventually got back together..
oh sorry my bad, I should have made it clear that its for situations before sex or relationships. usually in the pursuing stage. Thanks for your input

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Originally Posted by MidKnightDreams View Post
The Friendzone is real. Let's not pretend it isn't.

There are guys who want sex or a relationship, make a wrong turn somewhere, and end up in Never-Gonna-Get-It land.

It happens. Quite often.
The word "Friendzone" come from "Friends" the American sitcom, if you ask previous generations then most of them do not know what it is. Its simply a way of perceiving it. If she's not into you then its rejection whatever you like or not. Call it anything you want but it's not going to change anything. FZ is just a polite way of projecting that, almost always there is no friendship after unless you were really good friends with her before.

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Yep, it exists.

The difference is women don't actually want to be friends with you when they friendzone you.

They want you around for emotional or financial support and never actually treat you like a friend. Yet, they don't often flat out reject you and tell you there is zero possibility of anything romantic.

When a girl says she wants to be just friends, she doesn't actually want to be friends. She is rejecting you as a romantic possibility.
yeah, vast majority of the time, however I think there will be times where the boy and the girl have strong friendship which they don't want to lose it. For me I want to find out asap so I know who not to waste time on
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Old 5th August 2017, 9:05 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by Amazin View Post
oh sorry my bad, I should have made it clear that its for situations before sex or relationships. usually in the pursuing stage. Thanks for your input



The word "Friendzone" come from "Friends" the American sitcom, if you ask previous generations then most of them do not know what it is. Its simply a way of perceiving it. If she's not into you then its rejection whatever you like or not. Call it anything you want but it's not going to change anything. FZ is just a polite way of projecting that, almost always there is no friendship after unless you were really good friends with her before.



yeah, vast majority of the time, however I think there will be times where the boy and the girl have strong friendship which they don't want to lose it. For me I want to find out asap so I know who not to waste time on
I don't see this term applying when you are actually friends (which is rare between men and women as one usually wants more). I don't throw around the word friend very often. Acquaintance, sure, but friends are people who mutually respect each other and will do things to help each other out.

I see it either when you are being rejected by a potential lover or after you have dated and the girl wants to keep you around until she finds a new bf with no intention of keeping you around after that. Girls who friendzone you will rarely try to set you up with one of their friends because they do not find you worthy and they enjoy the attention.

I too prefer to know asap as to not waste my time.
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Old 5th August 2017, 9:13 AM   #8
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Yes... The Friendzone is very real and I have seen far too many people (especially men) allow themselves to get stuck in it. I have had a few girlfriends who had guys in the Friendzone and they just couldn't see it. They viewed the relationship as completely platonic while these guys were orbiting and hoping crawl out of their self-imposed limbo.

It's funny, I actually had this conversation with my last serious girlfriend as she didn't think that the Friendzone existed either. She didn't figure it out until she changed her status on Facebook to "in a relationship" and a huge chunk of her male "friends" disappeared. She was pretty distraught over it as she thought these guys truly were good platonic friends. I comforted her by pointing out that the guys that were still around hadn't Friendzoned themselves and actually viewed their relationship as platonic. I am sure a few of them were still orbiters but it was easier to pick out her true "friends".

And, make no mistake, a person doesn't place another one in the Friendzone; they do it to themselves. If I'm interested in someone romantically and the feelings aren't reciprocated, I either go on my merry way or I accept the platonic relationship.

I certainly don't keep in contact with them in the hopes that they'll suddenly wake up and realize that I'm the love of their life. That is just creepy and I view it as just a few steps shy of stalking.
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Old 5th August 2017, 3:39 PM   #9
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while these guys were orbiting and hoping crawl out of their self-imposed limbo
maybe some of them are happy with a platonic friendship. In the real world guys like that will not stick around for long because in the end of the day they're not getting what they really want.

Thats exactly what I'm trying to avoid right now, spending time with a girl with out any prospect. If I don't see any hope and she's not a good friend then I might as well just walk away.
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Old 5th August 2017, 3:50 PM   #10
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That link was comedy gold.
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Old 5th August 2017, 4:31 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by SevenCity View Post
Yep, it exists.

The difference is women don't actually want to be friends with you when they friendzone you.

They want you around for emotional or financial support and never actually treat you like a friend. Yet, they don't often flat out reject you and tell you there is zero possibility of anything romantic.

When a girl says she wants to be just friends, she doesn't actually want to be friends. She is rejecting you as a romantic possibility.
that happens, but there are women who are real friends with guys. But it's probably guys who weren't really pursuing her anyway.
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Old 5th August 2017, 4:36 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by OatsAndHall View Post
Yes... The Friendzone is very real and I have seen far too many people (especially men) allow themselves to get stuck in it. I have had a few girlfriends who had guys in the Friendzone and they just couldn't see it. They viewed the relationship as completely platonic while these guys were orbiting and hoping crawl out of their self-imposed limbo.

It's funny, I actually had this conversation with my last serious girlfriend as she didn't think that the Friendzone existed either. She didn't figure it out until she changed her status on Facebook to "in a relationship" and a huge chunk of her male "friends" disappeared. She was pretty distraught over it as she thought these guys truly were good platonic friends. I comforted her by pointing out that the guys that were still around hadn't Friendzoned themselves and actually viewed their relationship as platonic. I am sure a few of them were still orbiters but it was easier to pick out her true "friends".

And, make no mistake, a person doesn't place another one in the Friendzone; they do it to themselves. If I'm interested in someone romantically and the feelings aren't reciprocated, I either go on my merry way or I accept the platonic relationship.

I certainly don't keep in contact with them in the hopes that they'll suddenly wake up and realize that I'm the love of their life. That is just creepy and I view it as just a few steps shy of stalking.
Good solid common sense.
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Old 5th August 2017, 6:51 PM   #13
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I always have a chuckle at the victim style language which often precedes the word Friendzone. "She put me in the friendzone!"

She didn't *do* anything. She simply sees you as a mate.
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Old 5th August 2017, 7:12 PM   #14
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^ Like it says in that article, those guys think a woman owes them sex just because they've been nice to her. If she had sex with everyone who was nice to her, she'd be on her back all day with nearly everyone she passed on the street.
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Old 5th August 2017, 8:19 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Amazin View Post
maybe some of them are happy with a platonic friendship. In the real world guys like that will not stick around for long because in the end of the day they're not getting what they really want.

Thats exactly what I'm trying to avoid right now, spending time with a girl with out any prospect. If I don't see any hope and she's not a good friend then I might as well just walk away.
It's honestly not hard to pick out an orbiter when you run across them. Especially with the popularity of social media. I have a few female friends on Facebook who certainly have some Friend-zoned guys in their lives. These guys pay wayy too much attention to them on Facebook and it's pretty obvious that they are spending a large amount of time keeping up with these female friends of mine. They comment on and "like" on virtually every post these women put up and they ALWAYS have something to say about a selfie.

Some guys are completely content with a platonic relationship. I have several platonic relationships with women and I am completely content with our friendship. We chat back and forth here and there but I don't go out of my way to follow them around on social media. I have seen my fair share of guys hang-out in that friend-zone for a long time, hoping for a romantic relationship. I had a buddy that clung on for dear life for nearly six years with a woman. He didn't finally get a clue until she got married.

I only have one female friend that I actually dated. It was pretty evident early on that her and I couldn't date. But, we have great conversations and stay in touch. It's a Catch 22 with her; we can chat for hours because she has such a high energy level but we couldn't keep a relationship going because I live a much lower key lifestyle than she does.
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Last edited by OatsAndHall; 5th August 2017 at 8:37 PM..
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