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Is it unusual for adults to get "crushes"?


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

 
 
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Old 3rd April 2005, 12:14 AM   #1
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Red face Is it unusual for adults to get "crushes"?

I am really confused by the way I feel sometimes. I seem to still get these fierce "crushes" that have me obsessing about someone. I always thought that as I got older I would change and be more "mature" about love and no longer get these obsessive crushes.

Are there other women over 35 out there who still fall hard in love and fantasize and think obsessively about a guy? A male friend overheard me talking about a guy with a female friend, and he was all like "Good grief, how old are you, fifteen?" I felt really embarrased and said "that's how women talk, don't you know anything?" But I actually felt really dumb and insecure.

Any thoughts?
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Old 3rd April 2005, 3:07 AM   #2
 
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SuzieQ!

No your not abnormal, we ladies over 40 still get giggly googled eyed over some men we see or meet!
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Old 3rd April 2005, 9:22 AM   #3
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I'll be 35 this year, and I still get crushes. Big time. If you run into someone who never gets crushes, its likely that they are in relationships or 'thou shalt' states of mind that cause them to bury even the idea of crushes. They don't feel them, not because crushes are somehow biologically immature impulses that people grow out of, but because they are conforming themselves to some idea they have that "mature people don't have crushes". Mind over matter in this case. If they convince themselves that "grownups don't have crushes" then they won't. I'd say getting crushes is more normal than not.
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Old 3rd April 2005, 10:31 AM   #4
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OMG! I'm 48 and I still get them!!! I HOPE it's normal!
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Old 3rd April 2005, 10:48 AM   #5
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Late 30s here, and I get crushes all the time. Some of them only last for a week or two, but my thoughts can and do center around that one guy. You're not alone, and I don't think it's a matter of age, but more the type of person you are and how you're wired.
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Old 3rd April 2005, 11:36 AM   #6
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That's a relief

I've been walking around feeling like I have to hide how I feel because it's not normal. But I guess we are just socialized to believe that we are supposed to feel different as we get older. My female friends don't talk about crushing on guys, and since I felt I was lacking in the emotional development, I didn't really want to make myself more conspicuous, so I'm glad I asked the question here. I guess the big difference between adult females and preeteens is not what we feel, but just how much we verbalize about it.

Thanks. You guys are great.
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Old 15th April 2005, 1:12 PM   #7
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I'm only 31 but I want you to know that I have this crush that won't go away. I've had crushes all my life that have lasted for a short time and some longer. This one has been persisting for over a year now, and I just don't know what to do.
I'm usually always super confident and it's rare for ANYONE to make me shy. I don't like it when I feel this way because it makes it to where I can't be myself. I know that if I could just be myself he would like me because before I had a crush on him, he had a crush on me.
I still can't stop thinking about him and I know this isn't healthy. Ever since I started crushing on him, he hasn't wanted to even hang out with me. This is only feeding my unhealthy obsession because I know that if I spent more time with him, my fantasies would be disillusioned. That would bring me back down to earth, which is something that I need.
Forgive me for the rant!
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Old 15th April 2005, 2:56 PM   #8
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37 here and still get them.

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Old 17th April 2005, 10:36 PM   #9
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Feelings arent like baby teeth. They suddenly dont change because you hit a certain age. You are who you are and always will be. Only thing that really changes as we get older is you become more refined in your decisions. But sure you find someone you like and you get smitten. Now this is where age and experience comes in. Unlike when you were younger, you wont suddenly run off with this person and get married or something. You've learned what is possible and what is not.

Its kinda sad in a way. Because those stupid things you do when you are young are always the most fun. I mean I wouldnt wander through the slums in mexico at 2 am with a bags of groceries now :P
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Old 20th April 2005, 4:09 PM   #10
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men just says things like that b/c they are jealous that your crush isn't on them! or b/c they are trying to be cute and funny and tease you.

while it may be the case that you stop having schoolgirl crushes on movie stars as you get older, you will always crush on other people. it's just human emotions.
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Old 20th April 2005, 6:58 PM   #11
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It's definitely not unusual!!!
I get them all the time
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Old 21st April 2005, 9:46 PM   #12
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I'm 34 and still get them too!

Just at our age (especially if you're married or seeing somebody) keep it to yourself. Don't ever tell the guy "hey I'm crushing on ya!" cuz that's just playing with fire.

I had a huge crush for about a month or so on a guy who worked in the same office building as me. I only would see him once or twice a week, he'd just say hello, walk by (man he smelled SO GOOD!) and head back up to his work area. He was so good lookin' too.
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Old 22nd April 2005, 2:47 PM   #13
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37 and still get them and so do my friends.

My mom said you girls act like you are back in high school.

YUP! We constantly talk about the guys we have met and if they will call and when they do call, etc....
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Old 26th April 2005, 11:01 PM   #14
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Cool Adult Crushes

[font=times new roman][/font][color=darkblue][/color]I am 30 years old and I have been married for over 7 years. During this time I had not exprienced any crushes besides the movie star crushes which only lasted a few days.

I have worked with this guy for 4 months but only the past month have I felt a crush on him. He is funny and we can talk about any and everything I like being in his company. We eat lunch together nearly everyday. It started out as a friendship I felt like he was a little brother. Then one day he came dressed in his street cloths rather than his work clothes and I saw him differently.

Today I told him that I had a crush on him. He was not offended and he said it did not make him feel uncomfortabel, we kinda joked about it. I thought by telling him I would stop thinking about it, but here I am looking up websites on adult crushes.
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Old 26th April 2005, 11:05 PM   #15
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47 and totally crushing on someone.

Damn - and it is unrequited.

Guess you never 'grow' out of it.

Ain't love grand??
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