Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
Girlfriend admits to sleeping with someone after 1 week break
My GF of 4 yrs, just b4 my grad on feb 9th, aniversary on 11th, and valentines day we had a fight and I told her I dont want to be with someone like that, that dosn't really see a future with. So anyways after a week and a half of thinking, being miserable, feeling the need to see her I came by her house to meet her b4 she got home from work. For the next 3 weeks there was alot of mixed feelings, confusiong, especially on her side, for some reason it didnt feel like she wanted me back and hinted on the fact that shes not innocent and shes dumb like all those "other" stupid girls. She hinted on sleeping with other guys, banging, no passion and finally slipped out that she slept with a guy that she know for 4 years now from work, which I know and I have been jealous for in the past but at the time she assured me nothing would happend. Now the fact is she slept with him , just vaginal sex with a condom, no oral and she says it means nothing. When I found out she expected me to freak out but I didn't, until I went home I was all shaky and removed her from all my contact lists.. She noticed it and started emailing me and calling me, saying shes sorry in the emails and I ignored the calls until later. She was crying etc.. and asked me if I want to work things out and I really don't know. I feel the need to just sleep with her to feel better, and I told her thats what I want and shes fine with that. I dont know what to do, especially for the long run.
I would not sleep with her, at least for a while: (1) the other dude's stuff is in there (condom aside) and you need enough time to make sure she's not expecting, caught something from him, whatever and (2) to get your head on straight about where your emotions are.
Let me also give you the technical answer that everyone here is going to give you: you dumped her, more or less, so its not cheating. If you didn't mean it, then you shouldn't have dumped her.
HOWEVER, when this kind of thing happens, you have only a couple conclusions:
(1) Your relationship meant SO MUCH to her... that she ran out and banged a guy a week later.
(2) Your g/f keeps or kept at least one dude around as the "penis in a jar" to break in case of emergency
(3) as an alternative to (2) the dude had been hanging around and saw his chance and in a moment of weakness, she gave in. So you either have a calculating person or a weak person -- not a great thing.
(4) No matter what else, a dude she sees pretty frequently has been in your backyard and either he's going to be whiny about how he doesn't get to be with her or he's going to run around smirking that he did hit it. You decide which irritates you more.
The situation sounds unfortunate, but my sense is there's no future to the relationship emotionally, and I'm not sure it sounds worthwhile to keep sleeping with her. As soon as she figures out you are just in it casually she will dump you or cheat on you.
I do not feel I can any longer plan my futures with this girl, I plan to see other people but in the meantime keep her around, have sex with her, make her understand how much pain she has caused me. I want to experiment, see how sex with her will make me feel, maybe for the best and maybe not... I guess I'll see.
As for not being together at the time, I dont know how how you interpert this but I was desperately waiting to apologize to me for saying all those mean things, but instead she figured that its better just to cheat and ensure the relationship breaks for good.
I do love her and I guess its tough love, but I want to teach her a lesson that its not cool to mess with peoples emotions. Do you think she learned from her last cheats? She has cheated before , many times and I think its time someone tought her a lesson.
I think I will sleep with her a few times, then stop talking to her, call her a few days later and tell her I can't be with her, just break up with her, and if she comes back then its meant to be, if not she never loved me in the first place.
This might be wierd but I really have the urge to sleep with her, to make myself feel better. Maybe we are just dogs and I need to reclaim my terrirory, I dont know. Three weeks later & a condom I dont think the guys stuff will be there anymore.
When she told me we can do anything I want I said straight out (I was really upset) that shes a whore and I want to bang her.. might sound childish but thats what I said but really sex with her was never banging, it was more to me and I want to see if I will feel the same way. When I talk to her I questioned her if I need a condom now that he might have given her something but she said no...
I will let you know what happens after tonight, I will sleep with her and talk to her and see if we can meet on common grounds.
I do love her and I guess its tough love, but I want to teach her a lesson that its not cool to mess with peoples emotions. Do you think she learned from her last cheats? She has cheated before , many times and I think its time someone tought her a lesson.
Everything in your post says to me that you just want revenge and that you do not love her. To use her for sex makes you exactly what you say you don't like about her. It won't make you feel any better. IMO, cut her loose immediately. No need to spend any more time on it. It's not going to make you or her a better person, she won't learn anything but that you're mean and petty, and that's not really true, is it? You're angry, and understandably so, but this course of action isn't going to solve anything.
I wouldnt advise the revenge sex,but then again: If it makes you feel better, do it. She sure as hell didn't stop herself from doing something she thought would make her feel better.
My GF of 4 yrs, just b4 my grad on feb 9th, aniversary on 11th, and valentines day we had a fight and I told her I dont want to be with someone like that, that dosn't really see a future with.
I don't see how you figure she was the one messing with YOUR emotions. You broke up with her. I think you're the ******* on this one, buddy. Especially if you have sex with her just to "get her back". Why should she remain true to someone who just dumped her?
I think she's not worth it -- if you are trying to bang her so that you feel better/have some revenge on her, then it's clear that you are too wrapped up in her -- she matters too much.
If her actions have reduced her value to you (which they would to me) then just walk away
I decided I walk away after I have sex with her and talk a bit more, but I don't see this working in the long run. When someone tells you that they hate almost everything about you in amocking way becuase their mad makes you want to say "Sorry but I dont want to be with you right now" if my response is not understandable then read again.
"When I talk to her I questioned her if I need a condom now that he might have given her something but she said no..."
Your whole post is completely ignorant and nonsensical and as for the above statement, it's ludicrous. Why would you believe her when she never even had an std test?? Are you nuts? You would actually go without a condom when she's been banging strange men? Please think with your brain before your pecker for a change.
life is too short dude, to many real people that actually do have morals to be messing around like that. too many "good" people out there to even consider another moment with her.
Your right but I'm not sure how she will react to that, we have never used protection and such a change might cause a wierd reaction. She slept with only 1 guy 3 weeks ago and they used a condom...
... I just hope the sex will clear the air, I dont' know what to expect from it.
life is too short dude, to many real people that actually do have morals to be messing around like that. too many "good" people out there to even consider another moment with her.
There are and I do not plan on sticking around.. but its really tough when your in love with the other person. I will try to focus on meeting other people like you said that are "good". To find a "good" woman is very hard these days.. anyone will tell you. I thougth I had one and look at what happens. Another moment right now might help me, and I want her to realize what she ruined, and what she will not have anyomore, I willl make her a list of the conflict I have. What do you mean messing around?
" we have never used protection and such a change might cause a wierd reaction. She slept with only 1 guy 3 weeks ago and they used a condom... "
Were you there to see him wear a condom? Stop thinking so naively. She NEVER cared about protection with you, what makes you think she would with someone else. All she has to say is she's on birth control and men likely won't want to use a condom either when their too into the lust.
Weird reaction?? What do you care when you said you want to dump her afterwards? You are giving her too much control when she's been sleeping with weird men. Now you are giving her full control on your health.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Girlfriend admits to sleeping with someone after 1 week break
Serious Mentality Gone
Linear Mode
