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The best way for men to save a marriage


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Old 5th January 2006, 10:48 AM   #1
Woggle
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The best way for men to save a marriage

The best for a man to get his wife to care again is to never beg and never cry. He needs to always show her that he can be happy without her and that he will get on with his life. Once a woman sees that a man can live a happy life without her her respect for him will increase and respect is the most important thing in a relationship. If she doesn't respect you it is over and women do not respect a crying puppy. Trust me it worked for me. If I wanted my ex wife back she was putty in my hands but it was over.
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Old 5th January 2006, 11:06 AM   #2
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Well, I guess I see your point but whether I agree that the BEST way to save a marriage is for the husband to never beg and cry is another story...no, the BEST way for a husband to save a marriage is to LISTEN to his wife. To really listen to what her needs are...just as SHE should listen to her husband. But don't just listen...take heed and ACT. Make changes. Meet each other in the middle. Each person should give to the other. Do it when you don't want to and then it will really mean something.

I guess my point here is that I can think of a zillion other things more important in saving a marriage than "don't beg or cry." If it gets to THAT point, it's probably too late anyway. See what I mean?
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Old 5th January 2006, 11:41 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Woggle
Trust me it worked for me. If I wanted my ex wife back she was putty in my hands but it was over.
How are you measuring your "success"?
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Old 5th January 2006, 11:52 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by Lil Honey
How are you measuring your "success"?
After my divorce I was very successful in my career and made a ton of money with stocks. I was living my life to it's fullest and all of sudden the woman who cheated because she felt trapped was now begging me to take her back. She wanted the life I was living and was attracted to what I had become.
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Old 5th January 2006, 12:48 PM   #5
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Where is the giant yawning smiley when I need him??

All I will say is this- and .

The way to save a marriage is to never let it get in trouble in the first place. Communication and meeting each others needs. On both sides of the fence.
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Old 5th January 2006, 12:52 PM   #6
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Funny Woggle......VERY funny!!

<WHAT? He's not joking.......Oh man....be serious.......>
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Old 5th January 2006, 1:08 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Woggle
The best for a man to get his wife to care again is to never beg and never cry. He needs to always show her that he can be happy without her and that he will get on with his life. Once a woman sees that a man can live a happy life without her her respect for him will increase and respect is the most important thing in a relationship. If she doesn't respect you it is over and women do not respect a crying puppy. Trust me it worked for me. If I wanted my ex wife back she was putty in my hands but it was over.

Y'all probably think this is BS bravado, but it's not. Confidence is one of the main traits women find attractive. Acting like this radiates it like a furnace! There is no argument that will convince me otherwise on this opinion. I've lived both sides and know what works. Nobody is saying that this is the only thing to do. It's just one of the things men can do to make themselves more attractive.

Men are being goaded into believing that women want a sensitive man that is in touch with his emotions. To most men, they think this means opening up and confiding in fears and hurts, crying, etc. The simple fact of the matter is that although women may feel sympathy and empathy for this kind of behavior, they will not find it sexually appealling at all. Their interest in men like this will invariably wane over time.

Guys, you don't want to stimulate women's maternal instincts for you. You want to stimulate........."other"............instincts. If you know what I mean.
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Old 5th January 2006, 1:12 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Kenyth
Y'all probably think this is BS bravado, but it's not. Confidence is one of the main traits women find attractive. Acting like this radiates it like a furnace! There is no argument that will convince me otherwise on this opinion. I've lived both sides and know what works. Nobody is saying that this is the only thing to do. It's just one of the things men can do to make themselves more attractive.

Men are being goaded into believing that women want a sensitive man that is in touch with his emotions. To most men, they think this means opening up and confiding in fears and hurts, crying, etc. The simple fact of the matter is that although women may feel sympathy and empathy for this kind of behavior, they will not find it sexually appealling at all. Their interest in men like this will invariably wane over time.

Guys, you don't want to stimulate women's maternal instincts for you. You want to stimulate........."other"............instincts. If you know what I mean.
It's not BS. I mean it and I live it. It has worked wonders for me.
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Old 5th January 2006, 1:59 PM   #9
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Mmmm....

interesting.

at wikipedia dot org under a search for 'divorce' , researchers did a study of divorce in the UK. 70% of petitioners were women, and the most common reason for the divorce was 'emotional unfulfillment'. look it up.

confidence does not mean cold and uncaring. OR does it?
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Old 5th January 2006, 2:12 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by portableversion
confidence does not mean cold and uncaring.
Ditto that.
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Old 5th January 2006, 2:16 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Woggle
After my divorce I was very successful in my career and made a ton of money with stocks. I was living my life to it's fullest and all of sudden the woman who cheated because she felt trapped was now begging me to take her back. She wanted the life I was living and was attracted to what I had become.
What this tells me is that you were the opposite before your divorce. So she may have been living with a shell of a man who only took up space. She found you attractive after you started doing something.
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Old 5th January 2006, 2:24 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by portableversion
interesting.

at wikipedia dot org under a search for 'divorce' , researchers did a study of divorce in the UK. 70% of petitioners were women, and the most common reason for the divorce was 'emotional unfulfillment'. look it up.

confidence does not mean cold and uncaring. OR does it?
No, no, no, no! What's this got to do with the price of tea in China? Cold and uncaring isn't what we're getting at here. Nobody said anything about cold and uncaring. Or torture, or beating, or murder, or rape either. Emotional fulfillment doesn't mean breaking down like an old Ford pickup either you know. What you want is to seem perfectly capable of carrying on and starting to date again if your wife/GF want's to leave you or stray. You need to seem perfectly willing and capable of taking care of yourself and leave should the need arise. You want to keep thier interest on you up, and their interests in other men down, not hurt them. What you don't want is to shed your gender role and become a whining sniveling little maggot who crawls on his belly. A pet who licks boots for attention. A wailing Nancy who needs to be dressed in skirts. Though you are well deserving of the pity you'll recieve while acting like this, it's not the kind of attention you want from your mate or potential mate.


Woggle, BTW. Your ex only had a momentary interest in you when you changed behavior. She only wondered why you weren't groveling anymore. You piqued her interest by pricking her ego. As soon as you decided to pursue, it probably would have gone downhill quickly, again.
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Old 5th January 2006, 2:25 PM   #13
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Now let's see. Who should we believe when it comes to advice on marriages and 'how to save them'? People like Willard Harley and John Gottman with professional degrees, who have worked in marriage counselling, and who have a long track record of helping couples have successful marriages or several bitter, jaded divorces on a love advice board who remain unmarried? Hmm. That's a tough one.

What a joke.
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Old 5th January 2006, 2:46 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by SmoochieFace
I agree - these posts and threads are getting mightily old.

I dunno... I *thought* Woggle was doing better now that he found a *good* woman but it seems quite obvious that the anger and resentment are still there. Sorta like he shined himself up a bit but now he's becoming tarnished again.

Guess the *honeymoon phase* is over...
You've got to keep up SmoochieFace, she's not a good woman, he just hates her a lot less than all other women.
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Old 5th January 2006, 2:50 PM   #15
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You've got to keep up SmoochieFace, she's not a good woman, he just hates her a lot less than all other women.
Ah, I see...

Maybe, just MAYBE... Woggle reeeaaallly just hates himself. Someone with all that anger and resentment wouldn't come across as an individual who truly likes himself, right?
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