Ok, so i am having a dilemma, and i am looking for some answers if anyone can help me...
I am 19 and my boyfriend of 8 months is 22.. We just went on vacation with my family, and are now entering the longest part of our long distance relationship, about 9 weeks..
The problem is that while i am away, i am worried that he will cheat. I asked him if he was planning on seeing other women while i was gone and he said no...
But....he has a girl at work that he messages and talks to.. Yes, he told her that i was his girlfriend, i was there when he said it, but he still calls her BooBoo and Baby in text messages. (i know because i have looked)... SHe knows a lot about me, and he has pictures of me and him at work, so i am thinking that she might just be a female friend that he is really close with......(Im hoping)
And there is someone else, that just moved down the street from him, and now works at the same place as him, and they are friends. He told me that they are going to be studying for work together, and i know that they go to lunch while at work. But i have met her, and they DO seem like "just friends"
I am basically just worried that while i am away he will play, and with one of those girls. He tells me that he loves me all the time, he actually said it just 5 months into the relationship (which i was really suprised by)... And I love him too, that is why i am so worried... I am in college and that is why i am away for the summer... So, am I being overly worried? Or do you think that i have signifigant reason to be nervous??
He talks about marriage, and kids, and this trusting thing is really bothering me.......I just cant get the worst case senario thing out of my mind!!! And he knows that i worry about our relationship.. He can always tell....
Thank you for your replies!!!!!
He calls all the time to tell me what he is doing, at least 3 times a day, we text message, and call, and IM, and use the webcam.. I just feel like I HAVE to trust him to make the right decisions, i just dont know if i DO....
I am sure he is being faithful. If he is discussing a future with you (like having children and marriage) then i'm sure that he is most definitely devoted to no-one but you.
I think if this is really playing on your mind, maybe you can ask him straight out? Atleast this will put your mind at ease and you will then feel better about the situation.
I'm not sure about the name calling. If he called her 'hun' or something like that, I wouldnt see much of a problem with it, but having multiple names like 'baby' and 'booboo' seems abit over the top.
First of all....if he does cheat on you with one of these girls, what will you do about it? Will you break up with him?
Why are you worrying about it? If he does it, he does it, and you deal with it. If he doesn't do it, he doesn't do it, and you've put strain on your relationship for nothing.
My grandma always said, "If she can take him, I don't want him."
I have always said this. If he or she leaves you,..then good,...its better to have the cheating type, cheat, and then you get rid of them . They did you a favor then.
I have been thinking it over a lot lately, and nothing in our relationship has really changed since i have been gone, so I am decided that i will not worry about something that is probably nothing..
Besides, being away from one another really puts the relationship in perspective, and since he has known these girls since BEFORE we started dating and became a couple, i doubt that he would start anything while i am away, and only for 9 weeks...
Thanks for all your opinions, and keep them coming!!!!!!
I noticed that he allows you to read his texts, I think thats another thing, he lets you look because he has nothing to hide.
Thats good that in your time away you've been able to put your relationship into perspective. I guess that you got a little insecure what with being away for a while and knowing that he has female friends at work. Don't worry though, it sounds like things will be okay and i'm sure that all is fine actually.
The only thing about the texts, is that i just looked in his phone, he didnt know... I used it (he knew about that) and then just went into the messages section and started reading..... That is my fault....
BUt i DO know that he is friends with these girls, and they DO know that i am his girlfriend.... SOit isnt like he is keepig me in the dark about them.......
Another thing is that over half of his friends are girls he has said..... And on more than one occassion he has basically "hung out" with me and my girl friends watching movies and dyeing hair and all that, and never acted out of place... So, could it be that he is just more comfortable with females? (I do have girl friends that say that they are much more comfortable around guys then they are girls)......COUld that be what it is with him? Please, i hope so....
hehe checked his messages eh Don't worry, i'd let my g/f check my messages as i've got nothing to hide.
Okay, all his female friends know about you and by the sounds of it nothing is going on with him and them. I have a few females on my msn list, and my gf hates it as she thinks that they want me or that I will want them. This is not the case, I feel happier recieving advice from females than males - it seems like boys are reluctant to show a 'sensitive' side, so I can only really do that with females. Maybe thats the same with your b/f?
Atleast he doesnt feel out of place when out with you and your girlies! hehe
I really do want this relationship to work out (i actually just got off the phone with him) And that is why I think i fret about all these probably innocent things... Becuase i am NOT there, ya know??
I mean, he calls everyday before and after work, and then when he gets home from wherever he went (eating, hanging out, etc). If he didnt care or didnt want me to care, then i guess he wouldnt contact me as often right??? And he wouldnt tell me if this one girl was hanging out with he and his buddies, if something was going on, right???
Ok, i am going to stop worrying myself so much.... Thank you again... I have to sign off before i start making situations up Nite
Glad to hear that you are starting to see that you need not worry! I agree, you worry because you're not there, i'm the same with my g/f. It's just a minor insecurity, but it also means that you have feelings. My g/f is quite the same aswell actually.
As he calls you so regularly and tells you who he has been hanging out with, I think theres no need to worry. He isnt keeping any secretes, and thats great!
I hope that you are feeling better today!
Ashley
Last edited by airbus; 23rd June 2005 at 3:07 PM..
Thank you for your advice airbus....
I think that just talking things like this out and getting others opinions are easier than worrying about silly things all by yourself, ya know??
PS... I am feeling much better today... Right now actually i dont really have time to think about it as much, with work... Before when i was off on vacation, i would sit there and think up stupid reasons... We are both going to be sooo much better now that i can work again!
AND, last night he called at like 2 in the morning to tell me he was leaving his guy friends house... And i was like "baby, im sleeping!!!!" hahahaha... now the tables are turned!! J/K.
Ahhh....
I am so confused and hurt right now that i dont know what to think...
So, my boyfriend didnt call me like usual after work, so i called him..
He answered and when i asked him if he was still at work he said that he was over at a girl friends house watching Will and Grace....I said that i didnt want to bother him and that he could just call me when he got home, so he said, "we are already on the phone, so whats up?" and told him to just call me when he got back to his apartment...
I dont know what to think! Because he told me that he was with her maybe he really has nothing to hide, but maybe he is cheating right in front of my face.. And i am not there to find out....
I am just so sad.. I dont know how to feel.....
Help me please..
I really do believe him when he says that he loves me, i just dont know if i can handle him hanging out with this girl while i am gone!!!!
HELP!!!!
Now he just text me and told me "sorry baby. I will call as soon as I get home. " What now!?!?!?!
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Is he cheating or am I being overly paraniod??
That is my fault.... 
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