anxiety and depression over boyfriends ex

xxbrokentoyxx · 3rd February 2004, 11:34 AM

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i have posted a couple of times about the same subject and i need some help still. This thing with my boyfriends ex is like haunting me. i still cant sleep a full night, and every time i kiss him or anything i think of how she was able to kiss him too. The other thing is they might have a kid together even though she lives far away, and i feel like the dreams and her are weighing me down. i feel like i'm just going to have a complete breakdown or something. i have never really been in love before, so im not use to this. can someone help, either by posting to this or the other one about me having trouble sleeping

im thinking of seeing a therapist again but until then, anyones advice would help. i feel like this is never going to go away that i will always feel this insecure about him and the situation. please...

jmargel · 3rd February 2004, 2:14 PM

You really need to keep this problem in one topic so that its easier to discuss things. What do you mean they 'might' have a kid together?

Follow my suggestions from the other post you made. This isn't going to go away overnight. A therapist would be of benefit to you as well.

xxbrokentoyxx · 10th February 2004, 11:36 AM

what i meant when i said he may have a kid with her, is that she cheated on him a lot, and he didnt find most of it out until after they broke up, i guess the kid looks like him but its not a for sure thing.

she tried to get him with child support, but he said that if she did he'd want a paternity test, and she backed off. which to means seems like she may have dobuts too.

Thinkalot · 10th February 2004, 9:15 PM

HI..you need to put things in perspective in your head. YOU WILL OVERCOME IT.

Here is something on a related issue I have posted which may help you out. Read through it.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t31412/

Good luck.

The tips there may also help u sleep.

Arabess · 11th February 2004, 1:11 AM

A guy's 'ex' is about as relevant as his previous car! He may remember it and even think about it from time to time......but YOU are the vehicle of choice NOW!

Don't you have ex-boyfriends? Why would you think his ex is more important to him.....than your ex is important to you?

You are driving yourself nuts for no reason! If she IS a problem.....make him correct it. But never feel as though you need to compete with his past.

xxbrokentoyxx · 11th February 2004, 11:49 AM

I'd really like to think arabess and jmargel. Arabess you proved a very good point and jmargel always responds to my threads. I would expecially like to thank thinkalot for giving me the address of her thread. It helped a lot, and i printed it off my computer and read it when i feel the old pull of jealousy as well as other things. Thanks..

20th March 2004, 5:23 AM

nothing is more important than you and how you feel. boys and relationships arent supposed to make you feel this way. it makes you feel like youre the crazy one. i know i was in the situation too. i literally felt like i was driven to a new point of insanity. it took 2 years to get rid of my boyfriend, and its only been 1 week and 1 day that we broke up. and in that short time i have gotten rid of anxiety, i finally sleep at night and i can actually have fun now when i go out with my friends instead of worry about him and what hes doing and who he is with. the best advice i can give you is give yourself 2 weeks. you can call it a break or whatever you want, but just relax. you need to because this will tear you apart inside. after those 2 weeks you might realize something, hopefully its that you can live with out him. maybe youll see that no one should ever make you feel like youre a mess. i thought when i broke up with him that i would be so sick, as i usually was when i broke up with him every time i found out he cheated again, but i wasnt sick this time. i didnt wake up at 5 am and puke for hours because the anxiety was so bad. my heart didnt race so bad that i thought i could be having a heart attack, like it usually did. i just new it was the right time to let him go and i think you will know when the right time is too. do what is best for you and your health. no one else will do it for you. good luck to you i hope i was some help.

20th March 2004, 5:23 AM

nothing is more important than you and how you feel. boys and relationships arent supposed to make you feel this way. it makes you feel like youre the crazy one. i know i was in the situation too. i literally felt like i was driven to a new point of insanity. it took 2 years to get rid of my boyfriend, and its only been 1 week and 1 day that we broke up. and in that short time i have gotten rid of anxiety, i finally sleep at night and i can actually have fun now when i go out with my friends instead of worry about him and what hes doing and who he is with. the best advice i can give you is give yourself 2 weeks. you can call it a break or whatever you want, but just relax. you need to because this will tear you apart inside. after those 2 weeks you might realize something, hopefully its that you can live with out him. maybe youll see that no one should ever make you feel like youre a mess. i thought when i broke up with him that i would be so sick, as i usually was when i broke up with him every time i found out he cheated again, but i wasnt sick this time. i didnt wake up at 5 am and puke for hours because the anxiety was so bad. my heart didnt race so bad that i thought i could be having a heart attack, like it usually did. i just new it was the right time to let him go and i think you will know when the right time is too. do what is best for you and your health. no one else will do it for you. good luck to you i hope i was some help.