On of my friends is currently engaged. She has been going out with him since she was 18, and now at 22 she is engaged to him (and they have a 10 month yo baby girl). The other day she came around to my house for dinner and we started drinking. We flirted a lot during the day (maybe because of the alcohol) and she proceeding to basically bitch about him. This was not in a big way but more little things that irritate her about him.
Later that day we began to kiss and kept doing so into the night - kissing, cuddling etc etc I knew this was wrong, but in my eyes I was beginning to see her in a new light. During this time, she started saying things like 'i wish we met 3 years ago', 'why can't we run away together', 'wish this could go on forever' etc. We ended up sleeping together that night - except after the sex she mentioned that 'it just didn't feel right' and we were bad for doing it.
The next morning I felt quite uncomfortable around her and she didnt really say much. She said she was fine with everything and how did I feel. I asked her if she had a good time, and she said yes, and we wouldnt make any plans, just see what happens. I havent spoken to her nor seen her since this (3 days ago)
The only problem is that now I think about her quite a lot - everyday in fact. I want to ring her and get the lowdown on the situation but I don't want to come across as being a stalker or trying the break them up, as I think she loves him.
What I want to know basically, is what should I do? Somehow I get the feeling she would like to be with me, but on the other hand I do not want to push it. I dont know if I want to be with her, but I would definately like to know how she feels (without the BS).
What I want to know basically, is what should I do? Somehow I get the feeling she would like to be with me, but on the other hand I do not want to push it. I dont know if I want to be with her, but I would definately like to know how she feels (without the BS).
What should you do? You should leave her the #@$% alone! She's engaged. The only reason she slept with you is because she was angry at him, vulnerable, and drunk. Don't read into it, if you gave me enough to drink, maybe I'd sleep with you.
You know, that is what I thought to, but I think there is more to it then that.
I was drunk also, but I wasnt saying things like 'lets run away together', 'why cant things be simple' etc etc you know what I mean?
Before we slept with each other I was pretty sure she wanted it all, after the fact however, she cut herself off almost. Like I said the next morning she didnt really say anything. SHe said she wasnt anxious or confused or uncomfortable, but she said she had a good time. We hugged a couple of times in the morning, but it wasnt anything really serious. I did ask her before she left if she was coming over again that night (as she said she was going to the previous day) but she said she had some things to do.
Like I said, maybe it was just a one off thing. But just a couple of the things she said makes me feel like it was more ....
If she's willing to do this to the man she said that she'd marry, think of how she'll break your heart. This woman can't handle a committed relationship, but don't YOU be the man she realizes that with.
True, she says she loves him, but I know she is a 'free spirit' - ie. she used to sleep with A LOT of people but she hasnt cheated on him for about 2 years - until now.
I dont think I want to be with her in a fulltime relationship, but I just have in my head the things that she was saying. But considering she didnt say much the next morning, I think I will put it down to alcohol. One fact that I did forget to mention, however, is that day that she did come over, she came prepared (condoms) ... so she had obviously thought about it and knew she was going to do something.
This woman has the morals of a snake. Stick around and you will be mortally bitten. You'd have to out of your mind to want a relationship with a woman who is engaged and who carries on like this.
You need to leave her alone. And you need to tell her fiance. This is just SO wrong.
Besides, no matter how much you like her, ever think that if she started out with you this way, that she wouldn't move on to someone else if the two of you got toegther?
OK, here is an update (sorry to keep going with this but I need to tell someone).
She came around to my house yesterday, where we proceeding to go shopping (boring!) with another of her girlfriends. The whole time we were out she didnt really say a word to me - sure we chatted briefly about certain things but nothing of any substance. I even isolated myself time after time to see if she would come over and have a quiet word about what happened - nothing! If she did come over when I did isolate myself she would just stand there with me or make idle chatter.
We came across a t-shirt in a shop that said 'friendly when drunk' and I made a joke of saying that was her shirt, to with she replied ' so are you' with a small laugh.
It is not that I am obsessed with this, but I like to know where I stand with people, but she cant seem to tell me whether it was a mistake or not...
All you people who are attacking him because she is engaged. What you think SHE doesn't know this?
It is no more his fault than hers.
I don't condone cheating at all and I think you should stop your flirting right now. Just think about it. If she does this to her fiance, what do you think she will do to you?
btw, I agree that someone has to tell her fiance. He needs to know what kind of 'thing' he is engaged too.
Who else does she attact to when drunk? Thats what I want to know. It cant be just one! I feel badly for her fiance. What is going on is not right and he may want to reconsider!
An update on the situation - it seems she is trying to pretend the whole thing never happened.
Her fiancee came back on Christmas Eve and I saw them on Christmas Day but she didnt say more than about a dozen words to me all day. I have spoken to her briefly on the phone (when she has rang here) but nothing of any substance.
I still haven't had the opportunity to talk to her about what happened. But her attitude has definately changed - she seems to be ringing for meaningless things and also she said that she came around yesterday afternoon (i was not home) and she sounded sad about it.
It is really starting to do my head in, as her and her fiancee are never affectionate in public but I think the majority of the reason she stays with him is because of their daughter - he is a nice guy and would do absolutely anything for her, and she has always said that but I remember her saying when this incident happened "I love him, but I am more with him because of our daughter".
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
I slept with engaged friend and now I want more
Sure ....
Linear Mode
