Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
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It's silly...but men and women make this statement alot. That it's just men that werne't meant to be monogamous.
The truth is, HUMANS, they think, were not meant to be monogamous. They can be (obviously) but nature didn't "build" us with the intention of having one and only one partner (like some animals actually are).
Men and women didn't used to live this long, and both men and women changed partners depending on their needs at the time. Chalk it up to men wanting younger women so they can have more babies and as many babies as possible... or blame it on women who wanted to be with the more dominate (wealthy, secure, handsome, confident, power, etc.) male for security reasons.
Either way.. when you claim a man needs variety... don't be so narrow minded to think yoru girlfriend doens't fight the same urges.
Trust me Lynne - I know that ... but the bitching by women in this forum as of late triggered off this statement. But I agree with you, our minds and desires do not think in a singular manner. That's all I'm trying to say. Men should be upfront about there extracurricular activities and wondering eyes no doubt so the woman can make a choice whether to stay or not, but there shouldn't be any surprises about human behaviour.
Its a crude statement but I have to agree. I mean, otherwise there wouldn't be all these situations of cheating. You ask just about anyone and they have been cheated on. The word temptation is not a stranger in the midst of every day life.
I know it's crude ... trust me when I say I am ashamed when I catch my self looking at another woman when my GF isn't around - and I LOVE her very much and turns me on COMPLETELY! I just can't fight the feeling of satiating myself with eye candy! Trust me, I wish God didn't make me HORNY!
This sort of stuff bespeaks a faulty cause-effect conclusion.
Most men do not cheat for sexual variety, nor do most women. Go find yourself the books and studies on this.
So if the premise is flawed, so is the conclusion; i.e. that this is biological or genetic.
We are much more complex creatures than that. If we were all that governed by biology, then everybody would cheat, but everybody does not.
But isn't it so much harder to say 'I never paid attention when my wife asked me for affection/respect/love/whatever so she found it someplace else. I screwed up and drover her away' than it is to say 'oh, it's just biology - she cheated because of biological imperative'.
In the first case, somebody might have to take responsibility and admit fault. In the latter, he can just shrug his shoulders and go on to yet another relationship where, doubtless, that wife will cheat, too.
Last edited by moimeme; 23rd November 2003 at 10:22 PM..
The truth is, HUMANS, they think, were not meant to be monogamous. They can be (obviously) but nature didn't "build" us with the intention of having one and only one partner (like some animals actually are).
Very true, lynnedays. Despite the lip service many pay to marriage, at least in America we're moving into a post-marital society. Many of us are now living alone. Serial monogamy is becoming the new sexual norm.
Marriage as in "till death do us part" is becoming increasingly problematic. This "plural partner" restlessness affects both men and women.
All this intellectual rhetoric and banter about human sexuality is moot. The fact is we pseudo-drool when a good looking man/woman walks by us and I have seen this reaction from the most faithful of people as well. So in essence we were made for variety plain and simple. Yes monogamy is a choice and a lifestyle, but we're ultimately fighting the most basic of base behaviour in doing so! Why fight the feeling I say?!
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