Hey guys Im new to the forum. Let me tell you my situation. And please give me the best advice you have.
Well last year I was a senior in highschool. This girl that I've known since I was in 2nd grade and I were going out. We were friends, then became close, then best friends, and now we were going out. All was well we had mild fights, nothing ever sereious. It was a great time. Then we graduated. We hang out everyday in the beginning of the summer. One day she came back from work and we were supposed to go to a movie. And I said " are you ready". And she said she was tired. So I playfully said " stop being so boring". Then she flipped out cursed me out and said some mean stuff. We didnt talk for a week. I bumped into her and didnt say anything. Then she calls me says sorry and we maek up. Then we have plans again. But she kept on cancelling with me last minute. Then one day we were supposed to go the movie one night. Im waiting at home for her to call me so I can pick her up. She never calls. I call her cell leave a meassage. She never calls me back. Just blew me off completley. A week and a half go by I call her house and ask her what happened. She said she was tired from work. So I get mad and say "forget it" and I hang up.
Now Im heated I lose my temper. And I write her a mean e-mail. Cursing her out. Later I find out she wasn't talking to anyone really she was depressed because of fammily problems. So I apologize to her. SHe doesn't really forgive me though. I call her house, she tells me she'll call me tonite to talk. She doesn't call. I call back in 2 days she hangs up on me and ses " leave me the **** alone". I try to talk to her online while were in college but she just keeps fighting with me. I bump into her one time and she woudln't even say hi to me. I've known her for more then half of my life. I keep tryung to talk to her. She then tells me" if you would have just left me alone. Maybe we could have worked things out and be cool, but now I hate you". So I left her alone from that point. Its been 6 months since I've talk to her or tried. Its still always on mind. Its so painfull and I cant let go. I asked her for closure and she said " I dont have to give you anything". I atleast need some closure.
So now its been 6 months. I think maybe me and her just needed some time apart. I wanna call her and get some closure or see if we can even be friends. I hear shes ignoring alot of her old friends. But that just might be a rumor. SHould I call?. And what do I say? How do I approach this?
I feel as if its all my fault. It seems that way. I was the one who wrote that nasty e-mail. I mean I lost my temper. She was going through a tough time. It is my fault. And now I dont know how to fix things
Send her a nice letter and then forget her. You're going to have to learn a lot about women if you expect to latch onto a good one. They don't like to be called "boring"....that's not joke material. They don't like to get cursed out in Email. When a lady is tired and doesn't want to go out, she doesn't want a guy to go berzerk on her.
So, as far as this lady is concerned...you got closure. She just doesn't want a guy like you. She wants a guy who will be sensitive and understanding. I know you will gain tact as you get older. It's sort of something you pick up here and there as you make mistakes. But, as a rule of thumb, don't even think about saying things that could be hurtful to people...even as a joke. A lot of people are extremely sensitive...and especially when they are going through a lot of personal problems.
Maybe your parents didn't teach you this stuff. But it's more or less common sense so you shouldn't have a real hard time picking up on it. Treat people the way you would like to be treated...unless you like to be cursed out, called boring, and be treated like crap. In that case, treat them the opposite of the way you would like to be treated.
Count this as a learning experience and move on. You may make lots more mistakes along the way but try real hard to be understanding of others. When they tell you they're tired and you go bananas, they'll think you are insane. It's much better to say "I'm really sorry. That's OK. Let's get together sometime when you're feeling up to it. Go get some rest."
Ok first off she cursed me out. And I always joke around with her like that. She does the same. She cursed me out first. Calling her boring is nothing we always joke around like that. And me cursing her out was becuase she was ignoring me for a week. She didnt call me back. She ignored everything. And now we cant even be friends. I've known her almost all my life.
And one day, she'll feel really sorry. She'll get her feet on the ground, and be able to feel remorse and genuine feelings again.
She's having a hard time in life now. This causes you to hurt also. So when we hurt, we can either hurt someone back or feel the pain and go on.
Wish her happiness, and happiness will be returned to you.
Being bitter is, me taking the poison and hoping you die.
Do I call her and tell her, or write her? What do I do? I need to talk to her atleast one last time.
Then I can move on. JUst call her and see if theres a chance. I mean she said she needed some time. So I left her alone for 6 months. But now I wanna see if she wants to pick up the peices. If not I'll move on. I want her to know how I feel after all this time. If we can never be again, I want her to know how I really felt with her. I dont think she knows that yet. I kinda told her when I was apologizing to her. But I have too. If I do decide to call or write her, what should I say?
I hate to say this, but I think you need to forget about talking to her and just move on. She made it abundantly clear six months ago that she did not want to talk to you anymore. If she had changed her mind, I'm sure you would be the first to know.
Calling her or writing her is going to accomplish nothing, except probably make you feel even worse. So what if you do call her and she blows you off again? What if she hangs up the phone? What if you write her a letter and she never responds? All of these are highly plausible options.
It sounds like she has moved on with her life--you need to do the same. Very frequently in relationships one party does not get the closure they feel they need. It happens and is part of life. If you feel the need to spill your guts about this, write her a letter, but do not send it. Get it off your chest, then burn the letter or throw it away.
I just don't see what you have to gain by contacting her. It really does not seem like she is interested in pursuing a friendship or anything else with you. I've been in her position--it really is possible to ruin things by smothering and hounding someone too much. Just take this experience and learn from it. I think that's really all you can do at this point.
But she just said she needed space. So I gave her it. I mean after all this time maybe there is a chance. If I talk to her she might wanna be friends. She had a fight with a diff friend and after 3 months of not talking they made up.
This is not in your hands. You are the one who drove her to the point of telling you she hated you. Those are strong words. Nothing in what you've written indicates that at the very end of your time with her that she just wanted some space and then maybe things could just work out. IMO, she made it abundantly clear that she was done with you. Look, I know you are hurting, so I don't mean to sound harsh, but I don't think you are looking at this realistically. If SHE decides that she would like to remain in contact with you, fine. But I honestly think if you contact her, she is going to get all pissed off again and tell you to leave her alone. If she doesn't do that, she may be civil toward you, but I don't think you can ever resurrect the relationship you once had.
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I mean after all this time maybe there is a chance. If I talk to her she might wanna be friends.
Do you want to just be friends? It sounds to me like you want a relationship. So, lets play this out. Say she does agree to be friends. Where does that leave you? Still pining away for her. Wouldn't you be better off at this point to move on and find a girl who wants to have a relationship with you? Why oh why would you want to continue to put yourself through this heartache? How will you feel when you two are "friends" and she is off dating other guys?
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She had a fight with a diff friend and after 3 months of not talking they made up.
Friendships aren't like the law. You don't have to always follow precedent. It depends on the situation with that friend. So yes, you know she is forgiving with some people, but she may not be forgiving with you.
Obviously this is your decision to make, but I just don't think it looks good. I think you are better off moving on and forgetting about this.
Dont you see though I cant. I'll put myself through this cause hopefully in the end it'll be worth it. And When I was mad at her and didnt want to have anything to do with her she told me " there always hope for friendship" and she said shed "never give up on me".
Well I believe in what she said. How theres always hope for friendship. I mean Id regret it all my life If I didnt try one last time. I think we just needed space. She said all those things cause shes an emotional person. She feels one way for a bit then differently later
yeh that any any advice you guys Had. I took all the advice in. So thanx. But one last question.
Ok alot of pple tell me to talk to her like nottin happened. Then other pple tell me to talk to her and tell her how I feel about the whole situation. What do I do. No matter what Im gonna contact her. So how do I approach this?
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Heat broken need advice please help me
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