(This thread is for those who know my case; if you don't know me from before, you'd be probably wasting your time reading this.
)
If you recall, I wrote in one of my threads about law school "because they questioned my worth, I made it" (or something like that). Because
they questioned my worth, I decided to go for something that was never me. Because my husband told me that I had no marketable skills, because he made me feel worthless (cuz I am not wealthy), because he was using my situation against me, because he threatened and blackmailed me - I decided to add worth to my worthless self and become a lawyer.
Only recently did I realize that I was playing the role he assigned me; I believed that I was just a poor girl from a second-world country with no value. Just the statement "you have no marketable skills" is so insulting that the person spilling it doesn't deserve to be trusted. A young, intelligent (enough to get into law school) woman with a college degree in business, who speaks several languages, with professional skills in music production has no marketable skills? What about the millions of people who work in administration; do they have some special skills? Or are they worthless too and yet somebody is writing their paychecks every month? He said his ex-wife had marketable skills (she's a masseuse), but not me. The context was me telling him that I won't put up with his threats for divorce, that I can leave and get a job and support myself.
It was said to put me down, to make me feel bad, to make me think that without him I can't survive, so I'd better put up with his crap and do what he wants. Just a month later, I decided to get a degree in psychology. He said there's no money in it, so I felt I would still be worthless if I became a psychologist. So I went for the law, not because of the money, but because I wanted to be "somebody," to have some worth.
The fact is: I do have skills that are very marketable and have had success in the music business in the past. I didn't do anything about my music because he told me before we got married that he didn't want his wife to be a singer (he recently told me that he never said that, that I was lying - yeah, right!).
In any case, I am not going to
become a lawyer, I am going to be what I already
am - a record producer, RP.
I worked with some prominent people back in my country; I will find work here in the US, too. Moreover, I am better now than before and my music is more suitable for this market.
Why would I disown my skills and be something that I don't want to be? Why would I spend $100,000 on tuition and three years of suffering in law school when I don't even want to be a lawyer? I just wanted to have a "real job" so I can be accepted by him and financially independent. But that independence would cost me three years of dependence on him, lots of money and - most importantly - decades of a career that's not for me. I am glad I got accepted to some good schools and I am glad I had an experience with the US educational system, though.
He's been kicking me out of his house/life for a long time. Sooner or later, I will have to move out. The marriage is sexless, loveless, painful, and apparently he doesn't love me. I tried my best to fix it and work on it, but it takes two to tango.
I joined a cover band and I will sing on weddings about twice a month to get some cash (about $250 per gig). Well, the chief of the band thinks my skills are quite marketable.
He said he was looking for an exceptional singer (and said he found her in me) - and my husband said "but they found YOU instead?" (that was obviously a joke, but what was more obvious to me was that he
forgot to say "Congratulations! That's great and I am happy for you!"
)
I'm not going to law school!
Thank you everyone for your kind responses
Good that you turned down the offer, better for you. Not only that you would spend 14 hours a day working and driving, but also any work that pays $700 per day means that the job is very stressful and diffcult. Nobody pays the big bucks so youcan have fun. That's $15,000 per month!
Linear Mode
