Can you tell the difference between a "genuinely good guy" and a "player"?
I have a question for all of you.
Can you tell the difference between a "genuinely good guy" and a "player"?
Obviously the main difference is that the player goes after every girl that walks his way.
But I wanted to ask a hypothetical question.
Maybe this is mostly to the women.
If you never saw a "player" flirting with any other girls other than you, how can you tell if he's a "genuinely good guy" or a "player"?
Because I feel that the "player" emulates certain characteristics that make him seem like the perfect guy.....and it's hard to tell the difference between the 2.
What are your thoughts?
__________________
Don't be a "Nice guy". Be a "Good Man". Be genuine.
It depends on your level of experience vs the experience level of the player. If you're small town only seen like 10 guys including your uncle russel, then my little brother could probobly make you think he's prince charming...and lemmie tell ya the ONLY thing he does well is drive dirt bike and steal from the seven eleven. Conversely if you're a jet setting type a new your girl and you meet a wanna be from Spencer Mass. Then you'll eat him for lunch.
As for nice guys, we'll I'm sure they're out there but what they offer is often mirrored by players and dirt balls because they know showing you what you want to see in order to get what they want.
It's an interesting thing this whole mating of people. There are so many uncertanties, intangibles and strange twist waiting for you out there. You can't help but love living.
I can't explain it but I feel it. My sense of it is so keen a business colleague has me analyze prospective employees to weed out the bullshyters.
I knew my female friend's latest BF was a player within 10 minutes of meeting him. I was polite about it, but eased her into the reality over time. She sees the behaviors now (always did but her infatuation was clouding her sensibilities IMO).
I see it in their eyes and aura. Most I've met have dead eyes, even if they're quite animated and engaging. It's just a perception.
No clue about nice guys. I look at them and all I see is myself
Obviously the main difference is that the player goes after every girl that walks his way.
Uh, I totally don't think that's true. A GOOD player is selective, which is what makes it more difficult to distinguish him from a good guy.
A player is too much, too soon, too fast. Other than that...like Carhill said, it's a "I know it when I see it" kinda thing.
__________________
...and I feel like I'm naked in front of a crowd,
'cause these words are my diary screaming out loud,
and I know that you'll use them however you want to...
genuine guys tend to pursue a girl that they find interesting, while a player will let the girl know he's interested, but if she doesn't bite, he'll walk away.
There are mixes though, a genuine player for example.
Genuine just means that he is honest with himself. A player is neither here nor there when discussing honesty. For sure there are more dishonest players(tell lies to get into bed with a girl) than honest ones, but that is sort of beside the point.
Also, 'players' are more aloof.
Girls ask me sometimes "are you a player?" and what can I say? Usually I just respond with a joke or silly comment.
I agree that a good player is sometimes difficult to distinguish, from men who have hearts and souls. If you aren't able to distinguish right away, time always tells. No one can keep up an act forever. Also, look to words and actions being equal and equivalent.
Yes you can tell the difference between them, but unfortunately, only after you've had the misfortune of some dealings with a couple of them. Once you have been run over by one or two, you can see them coming a mile away.
I fully agree with Trialbyfire. Time will tell, everbody can be fooled at first, but after a while the player will tire or give up his act, whereas the good guy stays the same.
Player tries to bed women he doesnt really love. And has plenty of experince thats why he is so good at it. Mainly because girls want to believe him.
Any WANNABE Player is easy to spot, because he slips pretty easy. Why? Besause he is weak in the core and his motivation is Ego boost. Pinch his ego and he will slip.
Real player is just bedding women for the fun of it. And he is that good in that because HE DOESNT CARE if the girl will surrender or not. He is not ego ridden, he is fun ridden.
So, Player is just that bold Genuinely Good Guy who is NOT in LOVE right now. And thats another thing which makes him so favourite - Girls hope that they can make him fall in love with them.
My problem - Im not Player (no time or guts for it) and Im not wannabe Player (). Im Genuinely Good Guy with a manners, looks and mentality (minus the fun and ego) of a Player which makes me some Unspecific Creature not wanted by anybody, booohooo. At least Im cold hearted so I dont mind.
__________________ "See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and as*holes"
It's been a long time since I've dated but I'll throw my tw cents in here. First of all, you can't always go by the fact that they're into you right away. That's not a sign necessarily.
I went by different things. Did he look at other women when he was on a date with me? Did he flirt with the waitress? What was his past history with women like? You can pick up on a lot of things from that.
Does he talk mostly about himself? What kinds of hobbies is he into? I know that one sounds strange but can be a clue if you think about it.
Is he a "locker room" type of boy..you know the kind, don't you?
So many things give it away. And they can't hide it. Oh, here's another one. Do they call you "pet names" too early? Like "darlin', sweetie" etc.
If I think of any others Ill come back but that's all I remember for now.
OH, one more. Look at their car. Certain cars always were a dead give-away for me and an instant turn-off.
Also, sometimes if they wear jewelry or polish their nails
Wow, I'd forgotten about all the stuff I had to look out for!
__________________
Don't get cute with me because I can get a little touchy!
I agree that a good player is sometimes difficult to distinguish, from men who have hearts and souls. If you aren't able to distinguish right away, time always tells. No one can keep up an act forever.
I agree with this completely. I more or less know right away whether someone is a 'good guy' or a 'player'. The only problem is, it's just a feeling... and I'm not one who is given to acting on feelings... so I tend to kick back and watch what happens and wait for the mistakes and as TBF says, sooner or later... it comes. Took 8 months with my last BF. But the mask slipped eventually. Human beings can't help being themselves usually.
I agree with this completely. I more or less know right away whether someone is a 'good guy' or a 'player'. The only problem is, it's just a feeling... and I'm not one who is given to acting on feelings... so I tend to kick back and watch what happens and wait for the mistakes and as TBF says, sooner or later... it comes. Took 8 months with my last BF. But the mask slipped eventually. Human beings can't help being themselves usually.
You mean PLAYAS can't help themselves. Good guys CAN.
I've had the experience of seeing several types of men. I used to work in some clubs and pubs.
They come in all flavors and use various forms of methods or a mix. (one guy I was like...hmmm, I wonder what personality he will try this week)
Some play aloof. The lone hero with his back to the wall. He is quiet (some may think reflective and introspective...or they just want to invite a sense of mystery about themselves)
Some are too much too fast (or too good to be true), while others will wait around (really, what have they got to loose? You become a minor plate...and you might think it is a form of respect.)
There are those slimey shiney ones that ooze gold medalions, massive cologne, and undress you with their eyes (ha, those were my favorite to observe)
One thing that might be a constant is that most had a very perceivable false sense of confidence about them. Of course, beer goggles and insecure personalities see what they hope to see.
*make friends with the bartender or waitress then ask their opinion of him. (I really don't recommend trying to find love in a bar, however). Maybe if you work there and find it with another employee. I never saw anything work out for the long term otherwise. My .02 on that.
The best defense is to watch and see, observe his friends and try to do it with a discerning eye. Usually, your gut will let you know. It is when that gut feeling of (something is wrong with this guy) is mistaken for premature butterflies that the objective observations become confused.
If you do go on some dates then conversations can tell you alot. Conversations with friends (mutual ones are the best) can tell you alot. A genuine guy (or player) will wait for intimacy.
Just be smart and your own person and feel out the situation before investing too much of your heart or trust.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
). Im Genuinely Good Guy with a manners, looks and mentality (minus the fun and ego) of a Player which makes me some Unspecific Creature not wanted by anybody, booohooo. At least Im cold hearted so I dont mind.
Linear Mode
