[Dookie2004]

Well this is a good little story so sit back and please help me out!! Ill try to keep it short....

My old ex girlfriend and I broke up quite sometime ago, why we broke up was truly unknown but we were so close, and intamacy was between us. I really loved her and it seemed as she did with me, we were perfect together, but something happened that caused us to break up. Over the summer we stayed in contact through MSN and such and she would always tell me she misses me sometimes and that she loves me, all the signs, including asking me if I was dating anyone. I was ignoring her about it though (my mistake) being arrogant and such. Well this went on untill I left and came back from a 1 week vacation to South Carolina, she told me she missed me so much and loved me.

Well school kicks back into gear and shes flirting with me again, I was starting to pick up on it, and I was flirting back. Well one day there was this other girl and I was messing around with her, and my ex saw me doing this and gave me a death stare, so deep it was like 3-5 seconds long till she broke the trance, it was literally a trance. Then sometime afterwards she was holding hands with this other guy and huging up on him and such (and friends say looking towards me as she did it) so I took the defensive and did my best to ignore it.

AND THIS IS THE KICKER~she calls my house posing as my other ex girlfriend before her, who she knows that I hate....this above all else got me thinking, she said (posing as my other ex) that she misses me and wants to talk to me. Well I ignored that aswell.

Finally, she started to get back to flirting with me again, and the guy she was once flirting around with is no longer there! People say she shows all signs of wanting me back, and I do love her still....but for some reason when I look at her I feel scared and weary about confronting her about my feelings. She told me to write her notes in school and drop them in her locker, I did that recently and she told me she'd write me back, she didnt...I feel unimportant sadly does this mean that Im not on her priorities? So my question is this, from what Ive told you CAN ANYBODY, fill me in on what to do about this, I do love her and it seems she cares for me in return but a little nervous about it as I am.....she has went through many stages with me as you read above, and now shes talking to me alot more, and I just want her back so much. But with all these mixed signals Im scared to make a move...

Help me

[wiseluv34]

hi there, sounds like alot of drama here!!! geez. i think, that if you TRULY love this gal, that you should confront her. but, she sounds kind of crazy to me...i mean, she has alot of issues, like posing as your ex g/f, trying to make you jealous! maybe you should watch your back with this one, b/c i think she's just infatuated with you. she need to grow up and act more mature, she's acting like a kid. how old is she, anyways?
do you think you really love her?
let me know wuz up

[Dookie2004]

Well I gotta say its getting alot more interesting! Shes talking prom and stuff like that, shes showing all the signs again. Im planning on taking asking her, Im becoming confident and I am planning to confront her about the whole thing. But with her such changing vibes I really just dont know.......

Advise me

[2SidestoStories]

Okay. Unless you're REALLY big into being in the audience for this drama queen (no offense to her, really, I swear!) which no respectable young fellow ought to do, you should absolutely NOT deal with this nonsense.

I know you're in high school, and that sometimes the drama is exhilirating. But if you get into the habit now of letting people do things like this:

she calls my house posing as my other ex girlfriend before her, who she knows that I hate

then you're in for a lot of bumps ahead.

Why not start now in sorting out for yourself what kinds of standards are good for you to have, and then by all means, HOLD YOURSELF TO THOSE STANDARDS! <shrug> For all I know, you may really be into the drama, and if you are then more power to you!

I frankly wouldn't bother confronting her. I'd just nonchalantly cease all conversation with her from here on out. But that's just me!

[wiseluv34]

you have to give me more info, but now that i know you're still in high school (i'm 34!, oldie), than i'd advise you to just go ahead and have fun with her. she'll laugh at the way she acted, in 10 more years!!! both of you will. just hang out and enjoy the young life, date more than just one girl! unless, you're thinking of settling down soon? you still have a good ways to go before you experience the "real" love, it's really sticky when you get older! holla and let me know more scoop on you and the girl, be safe

[Dookie2004]

Now Ill get more specific about what Ive done to put her to the test. Once this jealousy thing started up my first action was to cut her off from me totally, I did that for about a week untill something provoked me to re-connect with her. My first step was to un-block her off MSN, she was online....At that moment she started the flirting thing, and talking about prom and such, and sending me about 5 pictures of her, of course Im excited that favor is swinging my way but still I held back because of the other guy. But as time went on hes now out of the picture and no longer around her, so something happened there.

Im of the age of 16 and shes the age of 15, I rarely see her throughout the day. She says she wants me to start writing her notes so she can talk to me more. I agreed, and wrote her, she was supposed to write me back but said she didnt get around to it, of course I didnt like that. Kind of killed my rush of enthusiasm. So now its the weekend I just got back from a long trip and now I gotta decide what Im going to do.

We dated a long quite a long time ago, and ever since the break-up signs have been there that she wants to get back together even putting it bluntly "Do you have a girlfriend". I never thought anything of it because I was doing my best to move along, but Im STUPID! When school started she started talking to me in more depth, and then I had to leave for about a week while school was in session. According to her, friends, and etc. she says she loves me and misses me alot. Now lets break this infatuation down somewhat, we were a very close couple, so perfect, the love was there, it was the best relationship I had ever had, and according to her Im also the best boyfriend she had ever had. It was literally perfection, but I had a rough road with my previous ex - g/f so anything could be better than what she did to me (which really gets me wondering why she called me doing that) most people say the affection is still there, I agree, but as I said all these mixed signals are very confusing.

Just a little extra info to help my situation

[wiseluv34]

thanks for the extra info. i'm 34 and i've been through many trials/tribulations with relationships...and i still don't understand men!!!
just meaning that male and female are 2 totally different species, we don't GET each other. sounds like you don't get your girl that you're telling me about. you sound very mature, for 16...of course that's the age that a boy becomes a man. so, you're allll man!!! heehee
in your circumstance with this girl, i'd advise you to just play it cool, sounds like she is. i mean, maybe she asked you to write her a letter just to see if you actually would? maybe she's toying with your feelings here. i could be wrong, but i suspect as much.
you should ask her what she expects from you? do she want to be just friends, or more?
find out this much, before you pour your feelings out to her. you're still young, so just date around, have fun!
p.s. are you serious a/b this girl? and why?
holla back (pls answer my questions)

[Dookie2004]

I thank you for taking my situation with such caring and understanding, I myself do see how foolish this is and it does seem like chasing the wind. I have good judgement and I do know what could lie at the end of the roads I tend to take, although you must understand that this girl is of great importance to me, I cannot stress enough to the perfection of how we were as a couple, although everything happened fast we were still meant for each other. Im not a "man" of lust, Im a simple person with caring eyes and believe that truth is the only way to handle a relationship, or anything life throws at you. But as you can see, this girl literally means the world to me, and in my thoughts she thinks the same of me. How can I tell, shes nervous around me as I am to her, we both stare at each other, and of course here is my idea so listen in:

Well as I said the jealousy games began at the counter of my foolish mistake (this happened a time ago before the flirting and things of that such) she saw me with another girl and gave me this stare that was practically a trance, literally that lasted from like 3-5 seconds, I was overwhelm....then the next day this other guy got in the picture, So im nearly sure that I am on her mind. But as I and you (and others reading this) have noticed that her actions are very misleading, so I really do need to explain to her how I feel, and I think asking her how she thinks things are going between us is pretty much me explaining how I feel so its 2 peas in a pod.

But hear me out people, I truly care greatly for her, she is the one girl I can say who has had the most major impact on my life, as I have for her. She is so beautiful and her every breath is just an ounce of life that I could hold...and when she is away from me my thought stray to ideas of betrayl and suffering but when I have a chance to talk to her my doubts are lifted and I feel clear as day.

Now of course there is the fact she is playing with me, can I say that she is, she could possibly. Now what would I do in that case scenerio? I would be hurt, but I would hold. But Im nearly 100% sure she is not, from what Ive seen of her and who she is she would not do that. And if she does I will destroy ever form of communication and and connection she has with me and bring down the entire ordeal with a swift and final blow. For you see, that I am not afraid to just cut this off, I have thought about it many times, thinking its pointless, but life is full of hope, and life is worth living, and life must go on, I must try, for trying is life......I know that was kind of corney

Your advice is greatly appreciated, take from what I say here and tell me what you think, this girl is my dream, and she was once my reality.

[wiseluv34]

you are a wise man, and i advise you to go for what you know! you already have a smart plan going on. you said that if you and your girl don't work out..you know to keep steppin'. go boy! it should work out for you 2, b/c you like each other, and that's a GOOD thing.
since you adore this girl, i'd advise you to ask her out, and spend quality time with her. then you'll know better if she's a keeper or not. keep me posted!

[Dookie2004]

Welp, the situation is unfolding greatly. She gave me a hug down the hall and smiled and such, and while I was walking down the hall I came across another female friend of mine who was in fact asking "I saw you hugging that girl who is it?". So when I turn to point her out and explain who she is I found her staring at me from the other end of the hallway and then she turned and walked off....indeed.

Now understand something that makes this hug different:

1st. Shes short usually if she hugs me its around my waist and my arms to her shoulder, she stood on her tip-toes and lunged her arm over my shoulder Im happy

2nd. She did it infront of other people such as her best friend, thats gotta be good right?

3rd. The staring from the end of the hallway......I think I should take that as her caring about other females around me, considering the hug and all, she also said she was sorry for not writing that note to me! I was like so happy, and it still stands. Just some more updates for your advice.

More Updates:

I talked to her last night online MSN and she said she was feeling all "warm and fuzzy" inside from talking to me. Im very happy, she said "aww" alot when I show her that I care for her. Im thinking its in the bag? Am I right

I love her to death and its growing more and more, me and my ex are still on casual talking and I almost freaked out when I was standing by her locker (before she hugged me) and she was talking to some other guy and making her laugh of course I got jealous.....but then before she went her way...well you know

I thank you for your persistence and caring on the situation I have at hand, and I will continue to post you information on the situation, Ive also added you to my little buddy list friend

[wiseluv34]

SOUNDS LIKE IT'S GETTING HEATED UP, UP IN HERE!!! heehee, i'm happy that you're happy, sounds like you 2 are sending each other "love"signals! cool
are you asking her out? sounds like you 2 need time alone....
KEEP ME POSTED ***
thanks for adding me on your buddy list, sweet.
wiseluv34

[Dookie2004]

Well heres an update:

Last night she sent me some stuff she wanted me to print off for her for school because her printer was messed up. I gratefully assisted her and put the document in her locker today, and I didnt see her at all throughout the day. But when I got online, she said she wrote me a note and couldnt find me all day, and that she thanked me for helping her with her documentation.

I told her "no problem, anytime, anything" and she returned it with a likewise offer, but Im starting to feel the vibe that were both scared that it might not work thats why its not proceeding any further. But HOW do I show her I want her back without directly telling her I want her back. What are some good signs, advice me people!

I need to get it along to her, I just want to pick her up and hold her and just never let go!

[wiseluv34]

so what's stopping you from expressing your feelings to her? she probably expects for YOU TO MAKE A MOVE NOW, she's already letting you know that she cares for you...by sending you notes, keeping in touch with you! now all you have to do is ask her out. you are the guy, we (women) would rather for you (men) to take the lead.
what's holding you back? ok, you said you're afraid it won't last, but that's what it's all about, TAKING A CHANCE, so just do it and let her know you want to spend time with her! if you don't express some feelings to her, she'll probably just find some one who will. so stop wasting time, just do it.
keep me in tabs,
wiseluv34

[Dookie2004]

Well heres something I think nobody is gettin.......I wrote her a note because she requested me to, now she says she will write me back and she hasnt. Today she met me in the hallway and told me she lost it so I felt kind of unimportant, so I started to show that I felt like that, and she hugged me and said "aww" and stuff like that, she also held onto my wrist for quite sometime leading me off before she hugged me. And now Im online on MSN and shes over at her friends house and they still havent said hey or anything to me. So I do need to take charge. But this note thing is getting to me, is she testing me? Tempting me? whats with that? I mean really look at what shes done in the past, anybody have an idea why she would be doing something like this if it isint her forgetting about giving it to me or writing it?

My paranoid side showing....but still I need to tell her how I feel, did I mention there are no phone calls between us its just msn and such? That also bothers me I think Ill surprise her with a phone call soon.....sound good?

She looked so beautiful when she hugged me, I really want her back.

[wiseluv34]

hello dookie, don't stress out on me..and don't be paranoid either. just play it "cool" the way she's doing. maybe she just hadn't gotten around to answering your note? i mean, you all are still in school, and studies take up alot of your time. she did ask you to print some papers off for her, it was for school, wasn't it?
well, maybe she just isn't ready for something serious, sounds like to me. yes, she may be playing with you right now, but then again..only she can answer your questions. so, just make your call to her, like you said you would, and get your "inquiring minds want to know"..groove on! ASK HER WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.
keep me posted,
wiseluv34