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I like being the mistress


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Old 11th August 2006, 4:03 AM   #1
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I like being the mistress

At the risk of condemnation, I am going to stick my neck out and admit that the role of OW suits me. I have most of the benefits of a relationship and few of the down sides. I am with my MM, have been for a year (this is my third relationship with a MM) and I love him. I know he thinks about me when he is with her,and he is very unlikely to get bored with me, the sex is always hot, the conversation always interesting, the anticipation of being together is always exciting.

He buys me presents, he is sweet and loving, and goes to great lengths to be with me. I, in turn, try to understand that he has family commitments, and when I cant see him for a while, I know the reunion will be sweet. I would not want to be his wife. They talk (so he tells me) only about their children, the bills, and relatives. They have sex infrequently and this is perfunctory. I am not jealous. She would be suspicious if they had no sex at all, as she knows he has a high sex drive. I believe I have the better deal. I dont want children and I am happy living alone - I prefer my own space. I left my first MM because he wanted to leave his W for me. Nightmare! I persuaded him to see sense. The second was not careful enough, and the W found out. Cue big scenes, lots of drama, and I made my exit. He and I have spoken a few times but the W is now so suspicious, getting together would be too difficult.

To the OWs who agonise over whether he will leave his W, is that what you really want? As the OW, you will always have the edge because he will always want you.
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Old 11th August 2006, 9:11 AM   #2
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Thumbs up

Very interesting point of view...but the price is high in order not to get boring. But you seem very clear of what you want
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Old 11th August 2006, 9:15 AM   #3
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I'm glad someone is happy in their current situation. Alot of us here vent, are angry, sometimes bewildered by mm and want further understanding.
I'm not one to flame you because I know there are women whom seek mm for the reasons you mentioned. My only wish is that MM looking to cheat find women like you and not unsuspecting women like me.
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Old 11th August 2006, 9:26 AM   #4
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***RARE JEWEL***

If you are happy, that is fine. I would not come down on you. The key here is that you are happy. You are satisfied. You are cool with it.

I want to be the first lady. That is my stand. You made some good points but it get old.
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Old 11th August 2006, 10:16 AM   #5
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I absolutely LOVE being the mistress. He's wonderful to me and tells me all the time how much he loves being with me. He comes over whenever possible, and I love him deeply.
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Old 11th August 2006, 11:19 AM   #6
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To the OWs who agonise over whether he will leave his W, is that what you really want? As the OW, you will always have the edge because he will always want you.
Guest, if you enjoy being his "secret" on the side and that's good enough for you - Have a happy life. I guess I don't understand why you wouldn't want more and be with a man who would want you ALL the time, not just parttime, or when he felt like seeing you.
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Old 11th August 2006, 12:20 PM   #7
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But why always the "married" part?

Couldn't someone who is not looking for permanent commitment get all that (and more) with a single partner who wants to avoid commitment, too? Happiness is always more fulfilling when it doesn't come at the expense of so many others. Too many human casualties left in the wake when you are only able to attract the bored and desperate married types.

Also, aren't you putting your own safety at risk should you accidentally collide one day with that one betrayed spouse who loses their marbles and decides to commit what is commonly referred to by law enforcement as: "a crime of passion"? It happens more often than people care to admit.

I personally know one lady, Becky, who came home from work early one day and walked in on her husband and another woman in bed. She grabbed the empty beer bottle off of the dresser, broke it, and before the woman could get out from under the sheets, Becky had sliced her … nearly cutting her breast completely off. Of course, she spent a little jail time, but she was a hard woman and was laughing (and proud of herself) when she told me and my friend the story about how and why she finalized her divorce during her incarceration. And when she got out … her life resumed as normal. She hadn't lost anything except a little time and a loser husband.

I'm not suggesting that Becky was "right" about the way she handled the situation. But … I understand how someone might lose complete control in an spontaneous fit of rage. If there's one thing I've learned through observation, its that karma is a boomerang, and you just never know when you'll eventually cross someone who's more reckless and a helluva lot more cold-hearted than you.

Shoot… "Sticking your neck out"… is right!!
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Old 11th August 2006, 1:56 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by whichwayisup View Post
I guess I don't understand why you wouldn't want more and be with a man who would want you ALL the time, not just parttime, or when he felt like seeing you.
It's not just when he wants to see me - it's when I want to see him. I'm far more in control than his wife. I call the shots.

When I saw him, I wanted him. He's beautiful. I set out to get him and did. He had never had an affair - can you imagine?? and he had been with his wife for AGES.
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Old 11th August 2006, 2:07 PM   #9
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It's not just when he wants to see me - it's when I want to see him. I'm far more in control than his wife. I call the shots.

When I saw him, I wanted him. He's beautiful. I set out to get him and did. He had never had an affair - can you imagine?? and he had been with his wife for AGES.
I reference post # 8
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Old 11th August 2006, 2:25 PM   #10
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I'm far more in control than his wife. I call the shots.

it's great to see that some folks can truly enjoy their pipe dreams, especially at the expense of another, but hey! We shouldn't all attempt to be sticks in the mud who live by a set of ethics!

to which I say to the OP, How wonderful for you!
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Old 11th August 2006, 2:32 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by 9Lives View Post
***RARE JEWEL***

If you are happy, that is fine. I would not come down on you. The key here is that you are happy. You are satisfied. You are cool with it.
No, that's not the key 9 lives. She is commiting ADULTERY with a man who seems to want to stay in his marriage. She is violating his commitment to his wife.

What does her being happy have to do with anything?

God, this is what is wrong with our culture. MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!!!!!!!!
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Old 11th August 2006, 2:35 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by burning 4 revenge View Post
What does her being happy have to do with anything?

God, this is what is wrong with our culture. MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!!!!!!!!
I agree 100%
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Old 11th August 2006, 2:51 PM   #13
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His wife doesn't know, and won't know unless I decide that I want to be with him full time. Why do you assume it's hurting her? What we do doesn't impact their life, it just brings him some more satisfaction - and me satisfaction too.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 15th August 2006 at 10:50 PM.. Reason: removed inappropriate text
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Old 11th August 2006, 3:48 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by saf View Post
I absolutely LOVE being the mistress. He's wonderful to me and tells me all the time how much he loves being with me. He comes over whenever possible, and I love him deeply.
Ofcourse he tells you that! He has you and his wife fulfilling ALL his needs. He isn't going to give you up OR his wife. This man is having the life! Big time cake eater! Though, I'm sure you don't see it that way at all.....

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Originally Posted by saf View Post
It's not just when he wants to see me - it's when I want to see him. I'm far more in control than his wife. I call the shots.

When I saw him, I wanted him. He's beautiful. I set out to get him and did. He had never had an affair - can you imagine?? and he had been with his wife for AGES.
You call the shots! Yes, maybe you do, but saf, it's not about him loving you, it's about him getting sex from you. I hope one day you'll see thru his bullcrap and believe it for yourself.

You set out to get him and did. That's sweet! It's SELFISH and cruel to intentionally go after another woman's husband. You're Does he have kids too? Bet you don't think of them (if he has any), do you...Nor does he.

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He's never had an affair - can you imagine??
Well, now he has one going. Should he be proud of himself?

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Originally Posted by saf View Post
His wife doesn't know, and won't know unless I decide that I want to be with him full time. Why do you assume it's hurting her? What we do doesn't impact their life, it just brings him some more satisfaction - and me satisfaction too.
One day all this will come and bite BOTH of you in the butt. You are playing with fire and eventually will get burnt.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 15th August 2006 at 10:52 PM.. Reason: attacking and referencing inappropriate post
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Old 11th August 2006, 4:19 PM   #15
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I made sure that he didn't have any kids at home before I made my move. His kids are grown and gone.

If his wife does get hurt it will because I've decided that I want him full time, and I may do that. Sometimes I do get upset when he has to leave to be with her. If she wanted to keep him from straying, though, she should have taken better care of him. If he'd been happy with her, he wouldn't have been interested in me (well, maybe interested).

Let me tell you, though, it took a LOT of work to get him, and I'm not kidding!
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