Physical Fight

[brittanyanderson]

So pretty much the worst thing ever happened tonight. I’m at my partner’s house spending time with him. He decides he’s going to take a shower. He says “you might want to go in my bedroom” and explains that Mary, his ‘girlfriend’ has been calling and texting him non stop. He ‘broke up’ with her last week and he’s been ignoring her the past week and refuses to talk to her, but explains that he wouldn’t be surprised if she just shows up. He gets out of the shower and sure enough, she shows up and is pounding on the door, calling him back to back and texting him like crazy. He continues to ignore her, walks about the house doing normal things (even though she can see him) and she continues to pound the door and yell. He comes in the bedroom and I ask him what I should do. He tells me to stay there and wait until she leaves. Well about 20 minutes pass and she’s not leaving. He decides he’s going to get dressed and act as if he’s leaving so that she will also leave.

 

He walks out the front door and texts me to go out the back, so I do. He opens the back gate which leads into the alley way and I begin to walk away. “Wait, let me walk you to your car, or better yet, give me your keys and I’ll bring the car to you. I just don’t want anything to happen.” Me being stubborn as hell, I refuse and put on my tough girl attitude and give him the cold shoulder. He tries to run after me and I tell him not to touch me. So he walks away.

 

I see him pull out of the driveway and leave the neighborhood, so I assume that she also left, since I didn’t see her car. So I walk down the street and make it to my car. I have my keys out and ready and am looking down at my phone when she sneaks up behind me and pulls me by my hair down to the ground. She straddles me and starts going crazy on me. Punching me in the head repeatedly and at one point even puts both of her hands on my neck and begins to choke me. I literally couldn’t breathe. Mind you, I’m 5’5’’ and literally 100 pounds. This girl is 5’9’’ and probably about 135-140. Basically there is no competition here, and she’s beating the **** out of me.

 

Luckily his house mates are outside and see this going on and run over to us and finally get her off of me. She falls to the ground and starts crying. I stand up, brush myself off, find my keys, but I don’t find my phone. I decide to leave without it. I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

 

I don’t want to make this post any longer so to quickly summarize after he found out what happened he sat in front of my apartment for two hours waiting for me (I went to my friend’s house). He eventually found my phone, which my best friend went to pick up from him. He told her to tell me that he’s sorry, he feels so bad, that was exactly what he was trying to avoid by getting my car for me, blah blah blah, and asks if I’m done with him. All I told her to tell him what I don’t know. Because I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. I’m numb. Like, did that just really happen? F my life.

[aliveagain]

What happened to the shame and humiliation you were experiencing after being caught in his bed the last time she came at you? Remember the hurt you saw in her face, yet here you are again months later being caught with him again. Next time she may have a knife, you read about things like this happening all the time. Don't you think it would be easier to have a relationship with a guy that was actually available? Why is he still with her and not you? Respect yourself enough to take yourself out of this disaster before something serious happens to you, this is not a game, your messing with peoples lives and you don't know what they will do when they think they are about to loose everything.

[Els]

You... have a 'partner' who broke up with his 'girlfriend' last week?

 

Wait... what???

 

Regardless of all that, physical assault can't be excused. Go file a police report. And maybe stay away from this guy?

[Got it]

File a police report. Now!

[thefooloftheyear]

Pretty ugly situation...

 

I know many will disagree, but if you werent seriously hurt, I say don't even bother filing a police report or pressing charges..For what? So you can go to court 16 times and further the drama-which could take years.? Then maybe she comes after you again for blowing a whistle on her?..want to look over your shoulder for the rest of your life?

 

Just extricate yourself from the whole mess...Leave your SO and dont look back...He obviously doesnt give a crap about you...In fact Id bet anything she told him exactly what was going to happen..How nice..

 

Then the two of them can carry on the dysfunction and drama and you can move on with your life..

 

TFY

[BrokenPrincess]

Are you sure he broke up with her last week??

[thefooloftheyear]

Pretty ugly situation...

 

I know many will disagree, but if you werent seriously hurt, I say don't even bother filing a police report or pressing charges..For what? So you can go to court 16 times and further the drama-which could take years.? Then maybe she comes after you again for blowing a whistle on her?..want to look over your shoulder for the rest of your life?

 

Just extricate yourself from the whole mess...Leave your SO and dont look back...He obviously doesnt give a crap about you...In fact Id bet anything she told him exactly what was going to happen..How nice..

 

Then the two of them can carry on the dysfunction and drama and you can move on with your life..

 

TFY

 

After thinking about it a bit more, maybe its best to file some type of incident report so there is documentation-just dont bother pressing charges if you werent hurt..Id just hate to see you dragged down by this, which is what it can do..And I hate seeing anyone get away with anything..

 

get advice from a professional how best to handle this so you dont put youreself in further jeopardy..

 

TFY

[whichwayisup]

and explains that Mary, his ‘girlfriend’ has been calling and texting him non stop. He ‘broke up’ with her last week and he’s been ignoring her the past week and refuses to talk to her,

 

Look how this guy has treated her. NOT defending her behaviour or actions, her beating you up was so wrong and you should file a report that this happened. But, take a step back and think for a minute. This guy has gf, he's been seeing you behind her back for a while now. You don't know the real details as to what happened between them. Re read your older posts..

 

The guy is scummy and you need to decide if he's worth all this drama.

[whichwayisup]

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I will never understand those among us who think that it's okay to be violent because they are upset/hurt/disappointed. I would press charges, get a restraining order, and be ready the next time she thinks she is going to mess with you - she deserves to get her ass kicked for being such a childish idiot who can't handle her business like a grown up. People act so foolish over men sometimes, seriously. It's JUST a person, it's JUST a relationship - no reason to go all bat**** cray cray. Jeez.

 

Would say this if it was an OW who did the beating on a BS? If your logic applies to ALL parties in an affair triangle.

[The Way I Am]

You should have stayed after the roommates showed up and called the police. She needs to realize that actions have consequences, and you can't go around doing sh*t like that without going to jail. Even if they were still together and even if they were married, she wouldn't have the right to physically assault you.

 

File a police report. Get a restraining order. Once you get it, if she violates the restraining order, call the police immediately.

 

The healthiest thing for you is probably to leave that guy alone and get out of the situation. Of course, that's probably not what I would do. I'd probably stick around for nothing other than to spite her, because I believe acting like an *hole should never get people what they want.

[The Way I Am]

All other things aside, has anyone considered for a minute the kind of mental hell this guy has put his girlfriend through, and that everyone has their breaking point? This girl, after the fight, fell to the ground crying. She's so mentally exhausted and beaten down it's really sad.

 

The gf is an adult just like OP and her supposedly now ex bf. Nobody forced her to stay in a relationship with a guy she knows cheats on her. She had no right to take that out on someone else.

 

But yes, for this reason, it would be best for OP to get away from this guy and the whole situation. He really is treating that girl like sh*t, and OP should not expect to be treated any differently down the road.

[Criticality]

LOL!

 

You gotta love the automatic reaction from some people!

(Purely objective opinions and completely clear of past resentments and all, right?)

 

That the ex girlfriend stalks him, refuses to accept that the relationship is over, and physically attacks his new girlfriend, is but a minor detail...

 

Oh no, the real issue is that he's a POS (obviously! I mean what kind of guy ends a relationship and then starts another?!? RED FLAG!!)

 

And the OP? How dare she get with a guy who's not completely unattached and have been free of any prior commitments for at least a year. CLEARLY she brought it on herself, for not finding herself a boyfriend that nobody else considers dateable/desirable!!

[Criticality]

All I told her to tell him what I don’t know. Because I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. I’m numb. Like, did that just really happen? F my life.

 

Sorry this crazy broad attacked you.

 

You should file a police report, so you can get a restraining order if necessary.

 

As for your boyfriend, I'm sure he feels awful. If you need a break for a couple of days or a week take it, but let him know that you're not mad at him.

 

It would be a shame if your relationship ended on account of a crazy ex, but if it does, it's no guarantee that she won't be back to wreck havoc again over another imagined slight, past or present. That's why you should report it. (But not necessarily press charges.)

 

Best of luck to ya!

[sweet_pea]

Get an RO. I also want to ask if this guy is worth all the drama that he's brought into your life?

 

I also wonder if they actually broke up and if he was only telling you they did to keep you on the hook.

[tinktronik]

I'm sorry crazy chick attacked you. Please file a police report and get a restraining order.

[todreaminblue]

violence is never ok.........but forgiveness is a must.......

 

she did wrong by you and by laws she is wrong to assault you.....have her charged.....if it were me i would not do this......i woudl let it go or see if i could talk to her one on one somewhere public, and try and see if i could help her.....try and understand where she was coming from.......people do horrible things in the heat of the moment.....

 

 

she fell to the ground crying...you can be assured then her hurt doesnt come from anger ........she has issues for sure...anger management.....she had no right to do what she did to you ....if you feel threatened place a restraining order i woudl do the public talk thing first somewhere soothing, a park maybe with kids around playing, near water,take soem bread and feed the ducks together..and really try to see her stand and why she reacted the way she did...i think i know...it would probably be the ignoprance of your so..you cant ignore situations you have to deal with them especially in regards to peoples feelings.... ...he simply could have told her come back tomorrow and we will talk then when you are calmer i am not ready to talk to you today..... but thats me and how i think and what i would do..................i wish you well..deb

[2sure]

As per OPs posts , this was not an ex GF , He never broke up with her and keeps getting back together with her. When Brittany was caught in his apartment on the first DDay this past summer...she wondered if the entire confrontation had not been set up by this guy on purpose.

 

The GF is a heroin user and has become physical before this . Yet, this guy continues to put Brittany in a precarious and unsafe position. Sure, the GF should be in jail or more probably rehab.

 

But the main player here is the BF. Yes, it's possible if he and the GF were married, or living together, or if he were otherwise unable to leave...that he would have reason to cheat, to have his needs met elsewhere. But none of that is the case. They aren't tied to each other in anyway, he just doesn't want to break up with his GF.

 

This man is toxic . He is manipulating someone who is if not mentally Ill, then at least an unstable addict. I'm not sure what Brittany's vulnerability is here hat prevents her from getting away from him....but there probably is one.

 

The situation is unsafe, out of control, with no end in sight between the guy and his GF. This is their sick relationship.

[2sure]

I have to say, that I realize many people are involved in affairs and that they possibly rightfully resent having to defend their position.

 

But to use a situation like this to promote your cause, is to me, just beyond cruel. It isn't necessary either.

 

To bring up over and over again how awful many BS are, to compare a violent junkie to wives here, in an effort to say SEE? , She deserves to be cheated on , he's a martyr, at the expense of encouraging this woman to stay in a relationship that is clearly toxic. Honestly , this is beyond anything I've ever seen here.

[todreaminblue]

I have to say, that I realize many people are involved in affairs and that they possibly rightfully resent having to defend their position.

 

But to use a situation like this to promote your cause, is to me, just beyond cruel. It isn't necessary either.

 

To bring up over and over again how awful many BS are, to compare a violent junkie to wives here, in an effort to say SEE? , She deserves to be cheated on , he's a martyr, at the expense of encouraging this woman to stay in a relationship that is clearly toxic. Honestly , this is beyond anything I've ever seen here.

 

 

didnt realize this is what was happening 2sure.......just looked up and yep i am in

 

the other woman/ man thread........i agree

[bubbaganoosh]

If he really didn't want to be with her, he should have told her as soon as she came to the door and told her that if she comes back, he'll call the cops and file a RO. That's what your supposed to do. It's called the right thing. Too bad this loser your all hot and bothered over doesn't have the common sense to do the right thing rather than doing some kind of stupid improve.

 

Find yourself a guy you can be proud of and try upping your standards a bit.

[sweet_pea]

I completely forgot that she is (is he? I don't remember) a drug addict. I really think that you need to distance yourself from these two immediately.

[ComingInHot]

seething wrote, " LOL - so the BS deserves a beating, but you don't understand those that are violent because they are hurt or upset. OK."

 

I KNOW Right?!!? All the time on here!

 

OP, whether anyone deserves whatever is truly up to the courts when pertaining to violence.

 

Messy things A's are. Just messy.

[crederer]

I agree. But, it sounds like he HAS told her he isn't interested and I don't know, if I go to someone's door and see them inside ignoring me, I wouldn't start knocking louder and embarrass myself by begging for attention. ? I mean, most people have enough social savvy to realize when someone is ignoring them and they leave. They don't hang around and spy and then physically attack people - do they? That just sounds super violent and super abnormal to me. Regardless of all of that, let's say the crazy ex didn't pick up on the clues that she was being ignored (which, by the way, we as adults have the right to do so - we DO have the right to not answer our doors to anyone we choose) - who hangs around and attacks a guest of the person ignoring you?

 

I say, definitely get a restraining order. Crazy people don't normally acknowledge restraining orders, but I would just consider it my first file in the needed paper trail to get this psycho out of your life. When you have to start looking over your shoulder for grown adults who are unstable enough to physically attack you because they are frustrated/hurt/sad etc., that's when it's time to take the steps to set some VERY strong boundaries. She obviously has no idea what a personal boundary is (evidenced by her continuously NOT getting the point and being unable to accept that other adults CAN say they don't want to interact with her) and it's definitely time to put a legal boundary in place. Maybe a night or two in jail would help her "get" it.

 

What makes you believe he has told her he isn't interested? This guy obviously isn't truthful to either of these women.

 

The assault is wrong. He sounds like a dangerous person to be around to be constantly having you exposed to danger, and you youself allowing it by not leaving his sorry ass.

 

I don't think you deserved the beating, just like I don't think if I jay walk I 'deserve' to be run over by a wreckless driver. But it is ultimately a risk that comes with it. So that's why I don't jay walk.

[crederer]

PS Do you also not date anyone with an ex so that you don't get physically attacked? Yeah, I'll just leave that to linger in your mind for a bit, let you think on that. That makes NO sense in ANY universe.

 

I'm suggesting she isn't his ex but still currently involved. Just cause he says otherwise doesn't make it so. The fact he knew she was coming over suggests otherwise. Make sense now?

[crederer]

I completely agree with what you're saying. Guy sounds like a greasy asshat and this woman didn't deserve to be beat down. That wasn't what I was trying to say before.