I4givehim Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 I did it. I went to a lawyer. I am looking forward to a new life and a new beginning. I wish I was there when he gets served his papers. I will be smiling from ear to ear. Good ridden to you. Enjoy your life with your girlfriend. She deserves you. A little advice for the girlfriend you won't be doing much together because his X-WIFE will be getting most of his money. Blahahaha..... Oh, and make sure his shirts are lightly starched. 17 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Well done. You made the right decision. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Onwards and upwards 3 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Friday night suddenly looks better... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 (edited) Oh, and make sure his shirts are lightly starched. oh... i remember this phase! i told the same thing to his then new partner. too bad all of my xH's (expensive) work shirts suddenly turned pink. we're so childish TROLOLOLOL. hugs to you!!! truly wishing you the best. celebrate it with some tequila & dancing. Edited March 27, 2015 by minimariah 6 Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 A little advice for the girlfriend you won't be doing much together because his X-WIFE will be getting most of his money. Blahahaha..... Oh, and make sure his shirts are lightly starched. Lolol I loved reading this part. His girlfriend just inherited a real winner! I wish you OP a healthy new beginning! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
SleekArchitecture Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 You mentioned you are working not one but two jobs to support him. Does he even have any money, it seems like it would be less of a load, one less mouth to feed. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 You mentioned you are working not one but two jobs to support him. Does he even have any money, it seems like it would be less of a load, one less mouth to feed. Agree. The only downside, you're losing a dependent for tax purposes... Mr. Lucky 4 Link to post Share on other sites
truncated Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 I did it. I went to a lawyer. I am looking forward to a new life and a new beginning. I wish I was there when he gets served his papers. I will be smiling from ear to ear. Good ridden to you. Enjoy your life with your girlfriend. She deserves you. A little advice for the girlfriend you won't be doing much together because his X-WIFE will be getting most of his money. Blahahaha..... Oh, and make sure his shirts are lightly starched. Recommend extra starch in his tighty whities too...do your part to make his life uncomfortable Seriously, it sounds like you are taking your power back. Good for you. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author I4givehim Posted March 28, 2015 Author Share Posted March 28, 2015 I told my husband I talked to a lawyer. He is so mad. I said "What did you think I was going to do? Just sit back and let you sh** on me." He said "he is not leaving (He moved back in last night. He is sleeping in the spar bedroom). We are going to work this out." I told him "I am done. I WANT A DIVORCE!!!!" He said "he will never sign or agree to a divorce." Get this he said "YOU ARE GOING TO HURT THE CHILDREN." I said "What????? He said "you are going to crush them because mommy wants a divorce and daddy doesn't." OMG!!! I can't believe the head games he is playing on me. Trying to blame this all on me. I said to him "The fact that you had or still having an A on me for over a year doesn't take account for anything huh...." I got no answer to that. He told me "you need a lot of counseling before he would even consider talking about a divorce." I said you are calling me CRAZY..... What to do with Jacka**????? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
badpenny Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Ignore him. Serve the papers, and file. Even if he won't sign them, you can still, I believe, push the divorce through. Just don't name the woman. Just cite him for divorce because of adultery with a third party. If you name her, you could leave yourself open to all kinds of legal repercussions and woes, honestly.... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Ignore the arsewhole. That's what. Have it all go through your attorney and be very very frank. He made the unilateral decision to end your marriage in a very immature, childish way and if he wants to bring the kids into he can, but that it will reflect in custody proceedings and they will hate his guts when they are older and can see the BS HE put them through. Tell his ass to leave quietly or you will turn the volume up legally. That's it. After that it is out of your hands for awhile, and it will take months but hey, he can't ride on two boats and he already jumped ship. No judge is not going to grant a divorce. He's getting one whether he wants one or not, just like you got an affair thrown into your marriage whether you wanted one or not. What an IDIOT! Expect your emotions to be like scrambled eggs for awhile. Just keep your direction clear. If he starts screaming or getting physical, have his ass dragged out the door by the cops. Don't hesitate. He doesn't sound stable in the least. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 He's stuck in the illusion that he's still in control, like he was during the affair. Pity that he doesn't know that you don't need counseling to divorce, whoopsy. And don't let him play you for a fool - this is HIS doing, HIS alone. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Artie Lang Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 (edited) "What to do with Jacka**?????" finish what you started. you tell him that he may be able to stall the divorce, but you and him are DONE... it's inevitable. make clear that the situation is all on HIM. you husband sounds like a manipulater. the only way to deal with these kinds of people is to pay no mind to their tactics and railroad them- straight on through. they can't manipulate what they can't control. Edited March 29, 2015 by Artie Lang 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author I4givehim Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 "What to do with Jacka**?????" finish what you started. you tell him that he may be able to stall the divorce, but you and him are DONE... it's inevitable. make clear that the situation is all on HIM. you husband sounds like a manipulater. the only way to deal with these kinds of people is to pay no mind to their tactics and railroad them- straight on through. they can't manipulate what they can't control. I am amazed by his manipulation. I can't believe he is trying to blame. That to me proves what a piece of sh** he is. I have a long hard road ahead of me. I plan on telling my siblings my plans of a divorce on Easter. Or should I wait??????? They will know something is up when I show up without my children. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Steen719 Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I finally have a minute to answer this thread. There are similarities in our situations. I also worked non-stop to try to keep us afloat after my XH's illness and transplant and was told that I was ignoring him. Really? Morning until I went to bed working. Of course, by this time he was in his A, so it was convenient to blame me. Also, the AP told me stuff (on FB), but I knew some of it from keylogger. He lied about me, lied about himself - disgusting. He had cheated on me and still I said I would try counseling. He lied to the counselor as well. I finally decided I had enough and like you are, decided to divorce. He didn't want it, wouldn't leave, blamed me for everything - every single freaking thing. What an idiot. Then he started blaming his OW - it was all her fault that he cheated. Honestly; I promise you. I know some of how you feel. I was so incredibly hurt and angry that I could do so much for our family and be betrayed like I was. I am further out than you are. 3 1/2 years divorced now. You know what? He is still blaming me..ha ha ha. It is so pathetic that he doesn't take responsibility for his own actions. I told him that he is no victim in this, but he still feels very sorry for himself and put upon. Oh, and this was his second offense...what an idiot. Cheater, cheater. The one thing that I do wish is that I had protected myself financially. I did not and it has been difficult, so do all you can for yourself. The other thing is something you can't do for a while (most likely). When you are able, work on forgiving him for your sake. I do not mean, IN ANY WAY, that you should take him back. Forgiveness does not equal reconciliation. But I read on here, as a matter of fact, a post that really make me thing about this. It said something like resentment is liking drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It was true. I was killing myself slowly with anger and resentment. I pondered and cried about it and finally, I was mostly able to get rid of it. Even though he is still an ass, I feel sort of sorry for him for being who he is. Also, never thought I would be here, but after being married to him for 22 years, I do not love him or worry about him and what he is doing. That is freeing and you will get there. I'm glad you found out the truth and now you can move forward. It is not easy, but you will be fine and so will your kids. Hugs and good luck to you. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 What to do with Jacka**????? let him be. don't engage him, ignore him and mind your business. be VERY careful - try to stay calm, composed, don't do anything without contacting your attorney 1st. your STBXH won't hesitate to try to bring you down and use what he can against you. treat him like an enemy who is about to strike - always watch your back and try to play your cards carefully. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Congratulations on your resolve. WELL DONE! My Jackass won't leave either! Great. I can work with that. It's digressing so I won't. What you do with a Jackass who won't leave is.. WHAT EVER THE FFFFF YOU WANT! YIPPEEE! Whatever LEGAL stuff that is. Throw a huge party with the speakers to the lawn out his bedroom window. He goes off? Witnesses. Bull ants in his bed? Oh yeah. I've never done this and probably never will but gosh it feels good to dream! Look after yourself. They're all pigs. Selfish, narcissistic pigs. Oh and BTW my DH encouraged me to go for promotions! I was ALREADY ON a three figure income. He's average our whole 15y together was about $7k yeah per year! For years I paid $2500 per month on the mortgage HE had to have NOT pay! And there are lots of instances of "icing on the cake" here. While I was on ^^^^ wage. I was sweet enough to pay his busted $6500 credit card out completely but guess when..... yeah DURING HIS AFFAIR! F*** me. He took it greedily. Yum yum wifey's sweat. OW had the fn hide to say "I don't meet his needs"!! Wtf?? I house, feed, insure, sex him. Oh and loved him. He repeated these these ^^^^^^ during our ever so sweet R . ROAR!!!! As I said TO THEM BOTH. I GUESS THE BJS OW attempted twice were SO GOOD that YOU MET his BJ needs at least - cause you didn't! He got far better at home so ditched you. BECAUSE I FED ETC him too! Yeah he's here but he's NOT HAPPY OH and yeah NEITHER AM I - USER!!! Sweet little Lion Heart. :-)) 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Sorry but let me indulge 1 more minute! OW has been unemployed for almost 40y. Yeah she's over 10y older than WH. She rents and I work with her relative who's gone NC ON HER because she's disgraced the family. She owes these rellies over $50k! She rents, drives a bomb AND SHE SENT relatives to MY home to inspect her new house! Yes! She thought MY WH could support her on <$7k per year? THEY WERE BOTH AFTER NEW GRAVY TRAINS! Mwahahaha. They're both broke and in debt. The house is mine for myriad of reasons and OW told me she can't wait to live HERE and be MY chns NEW MUMMY! Oh plus meet his needs OFCOURSE Cray cray. I said she doesn't earn enough. Or make him stiff. Yeah. Laughing Lion with a Healing Heart with humour! Hugs 5 Link to post Share on other sites
truncated Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Sorry but let me indulge 1 more minute! OW has been unemployed for almost 40y. Yeah she's over 10y older than WH. She rents and I work with her relative who's gone NC ON HER because she's disgraced the family. She owes these rellies over $50k! She rents, drives a bomb AND SHE SENT relatives to MY home to inspect her new house! Yes! She thought MY WH could support her on <$7k per year? THEY WERE BOTH AFTER NEW GRAVY TRAINS! Mwahahaha. They're both broke and in debt. The house is mine for myriad of reasons and OW told me she can't wait to live HERE and be MY chns NEW MUMMY! Oh plus meet his needs OFCOURSE Cray cray. I said she doesn't earn enough. Or make him stiff. Yeah. Laughing Lion with a Healing Heart with humour! Hugs She sounds like she has some mental health issues. Or she's just a tool. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 She sounds like she has some mental health issues. Or she's just a tool. Ha ha ha. Yes perfect match for WH! OW was telling me because he'd broken up with her 4w b4 and they were SO in love after 6w that she was as devastated as me. Oh yes. She was. So she told me so I'd kick him out! I told her I would. She got all excited. He couldn't stand her, he slept at his parents. OW faked a heart attack that night. WH didn't go to the hospital at all. She waited in there for 3 days. Texting us relentlessly. REAL SICK. Wrong type of hospital! A crazy tool with one size bigger breasts than his DW being a faithful chump. I guess my WH worked it out somewhere along the line that those boobs wouldn't feed him. Nor clothe him, nor pay the rent! If she didn't tell me, he never would have he says. "Not to hurt me". How SWEET! NOT. I reckon his strategy was to upgrade and get a wealthier AP lined up for next time. That EA had long discussions with me AFTER D Day. She wouldn't have touched him with a 40 foot pole. She went NC on him, not me. What a waste of time and energy. LH Link to post Share on other sites
cgiles Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 What to do with Jacka**????? 180,180,180... The 180 | AFFAIRCARE 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 (edited) Did all you BS's who say your WS won't leave file for divorce? If so, you have to let it go thru and don't go back to them (or let them come back to you) later. Just keep you communication limited to what's necessary about the kids and nothing more. Edited March 30, 2015 by Popsicle 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Noirek Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 What does he live in the past? it may take two to get married but it most certainly doesn't take two to divorce. He can make it difficult for sure but keep to legal advice and moving forward. Anyone who "threatens" in order to reconcile is not remorseful or someone to be reconciled with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Come to think of it, the whole time that I have been on Loveshack, I can't recall a thread where a WS has come on here, actually filed for divorce and left to be with OW. I cannot recall even one. There's been a lot where they got caught or confessed, but I can't think of one who said, "screw it, I want away from my wife and into the arms of my true love, and the exit is right over there, so off I go, file for D, split the assets and the wife can move on." Not one that I can think of. I am sure it's happened, but I simply don't recall it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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