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Do you think this behavior is right?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 4th January 2018, 11:25 AM   #16
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she suffer of fibromyalgia and borderline personality disorder....There's all the info you need. BPD is a walking hand grenade. Sorry, but it is. You need to ditch this real fast. You are older and seen as the morality anchor. Except with BPD, she will be swinging in the wind every time drama comes into her life.

She needs years of counselling, and you need more stability in your relationship choices...
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Old 4th January 2018, 11:29 AM   #17
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The 21 year old is closer to her age then you are. On some levels she may see you as a meal ticket. It's not like she has financial prospects of her own.

Think this through. She's 11 years younger then you. She was willing to let you take lingerie photos of her early on. Then she publically posted them on her social media account (attention seeking much?). As a result of those pictures she gets lots of friend requests from pervy guys who like the way she looks half naked. She accepts those requests & flirts with these guys who send her dic pics & ask for nudes. She loves the attention but downplays it to keep you happy.

This is partially a problem of your own making. You wanted to date the young'un. This is what you get. You're nuts if you think there aren't men coming & going while she's home alone, bored on disability. You are just the guy she boinks because you pay the bills.
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Old 4th January 2018, 1:01 PM   #18
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She needs years of counselling, and you need more stability in your relationship choices...
Agree with you, but she doesn't want the help, she refuse going to the therapist. Since day one I been telling her about going and her answers is always the same... "I been years seen therapist, Im done with that"

My sister works with BPD every single day, she's is been helping me alot, explaining me thinks but she don't want the help.


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This is partially a problem of your own making. You wanted to date the young'un. This is what you get.*
Well the problem is already here so I can try to fix it or walk away, and believe I'm walking away. Making mistakes people learn. I just want to vent, talk to people about this situation. I'm very disappointed.


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You're nuts if you think there aren't men coming & going while she's home alone, bored on disability.
We put a camera outside 4 months ago, I checked all the images last tusday (the camera only records on movement detection)
The mail guy, a girl/friend of her, her mom and me, the only ones on the images.
She doesn't have the pass on that computer. I told her the camera is ready and recording outside and she never ask me for the pass of the camera.

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You are just the guy she boinks because you pay the bills.
Hurts but I guess u right. I help her a lot.
I don't pay all her bills but, yes I help a lot...
I'm the idiot who take her every place she wanna go
I'm the idiot who cook for her
I'm the idiot who clean the house
I'm the idiot who make the grocerys
I'm the idiot who fix think on the house
I'm the idiot who is there for her when NOBODY give a damn F&$# about her, not even her freaking family.
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Old 4th January 2018, 1:23 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Hellthrash View Post
Agree with you, but she doesn't want the help, she refuse going to the therapist. Since day one I been telling her about going and her answers is always the same... "I been years seen therapist, Im done with that"

My sister works with BPD every single day, she's is been helping me alot, explaining me thinks but she don't want the help.




Well the problem is already here so I can try to fix it or walk away, and believe I'm walking away. Making mistakes people learn. I just want to vent, talk to people about this situation. I'm very disappointed.




We put a camera outside 4 months ago, I checked all the images last tusday (the camera only records on movement detection)
The mail guy, a girl/friend of her, her mom and me, the only ones on the images.
She doesn't have the pass on that computer. I told her the camera is ready and recording outside and she never ask me for the pass of the camera.



Hurts but I guess u right. I help her a lot.
I don't pay all her bills but, yes I help a lot...
I'm the idiot who take her every place she wanna go
I'm the idiot who cook for her
I'm the idiot who clean the house
I'm the idiot who make the grocerys
I'm the idiot who fix think on the house
I'm the idiot who is there for her when NOBODY give a damn F&$# about her, not even her freaking family.

You should of never told her about the camera.
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Old 4th January 2018, 1:30 PM   #20
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Helltrash,

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She is on disability she suffer of fibromyalgia and borderline personality desorder so shes on the house all the time and doesn't have a car
This is a sad situation for her but do you want to be a b/f or a carer?

She's seen a kindly person in you and she's milking it for all she can get.

Get out of this now and set your sights a bit higher.
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Old 4th January 2018, 1:51 PM   #21
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You should of never told her about the camera.
She came with the idea of a camera outside.
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Old 4th January 2018, 1:52 PM   #22
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I'm not sure that her disorder has anything to do with her behavior. She looks perfectly logic and with full control on her actions.

She may love you, but enjoys her little secret with this guy. She knows she's crossing the line, but is convincing herself that if it's only virtual and not physical, than it's not really cheating. She allows herself to cross the line, but just a little bit, flirting, maybe nude pics, not more.

Many pelple like the thrill of having secrets. It's not rare. You, of course have all the right to feel hurt. I believe you have to talk about it with her, and try to be with open ears. You can leave any time you want.

Last edited by lolablue17; 4th January 2018 at 1:54 PM..
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Old 4th January 2018, 2:22 PM   #23
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She's seen a kindly person in you and she's milking it for all she can get.
I know, but is hard to convince my self of all this situation. Until last Monday everything was great.

Well Im glad she sent me that message and I'm more glad I Doubt about it and find out all this.

Idk why that morning I woke up with that weird feeling, Idk how to explain it. Then I saw that messege, the first think who cross my mind was... Cheating!!!!!!!

I don't think sending a messege... "send nudes" to ur partner is wrong but that wake up morning was weird
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Old 4th January 2018, 3:35 PM   #24
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I'm not sure that her disorder has anything to do with her behavior. She looks perfectly logic and with full control on her actions.
i kinda agree with u but i'm not sure because i don't understand 100 % BPD

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She may love you
I been reading a lot of her conversations and i saw my name a lot saying stuffs like...
he's a great guy who take care of me, I love him, etc.

Quote:
but enjoys her little secret with this guy.
She will love more that little secret the day i break up with her and find out she's alone again losing a guy who really love her and take care against a guy that the only think he wants is to slept with her.
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Old 4th January 2018, 4:27 PM   #25
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Sorry but I don't think a 23 year old would be looking for something long term that leads to marriage. You are wasting your time if this is what you have planned for the future.

She may come off as mature, but in reality she slips into high school mode, enjoying this kind of attention. She's already stepped out on you if this is the kind of thing she is doing behind your back.
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Old 4th January 2018, 8:42 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by Hellthrash View Post

I'm very disappointed of her.
Lol.

Go tell her to stand on the naughty step.
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Old 4th January 2018, 9:52 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by Hellthrash View Post
I don't understand 100 % BPD.
HT, I lived with my BPDer exW for 15 years. I would be glad to share my experiences with you. If you're interested, please take a quick look at my list of 18 BPD Warning Signs to see if most sound very familiar. I suspect they will. If so, I would suggest you also read my more detailed description of them at my posts in Rebel's Thread. And Sal provides a concise and insightful account of what it's like to live with a BPDer for 23 years in his 3/16 post. If those descriptions ring many bells and raise questions, I would be glad to discuss them with you. Take care, HT.
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Old 6th January 2018, 12:07 AM   #28
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Bottom line HT, this is the ONLY guy you found sexting.
How many more of these have, and will re occur.
The fact she's willing to talk dirty, and send nudes, is enough to suggest she can be, at least, manipulated into having a full blown affair.
If she can be easily swayed into one thing, its not going to get a rocket scientist to tell you what else WILL happen.
I emphasis WILL, because it will happen.
It will take the right guy, time, and mood to get her re doing it all over again.
Don't wait for these conditions to line up (If it hasn't already).
Ditch her, find someone that you don't have to keep worrying about cheating on you every time she's out of your sight.


Worse, lets say you guys have an argument, then she reaches out to someone for comfort, and, well.....


Start a new life, and oh, one more thing, her health is not your responsibility.
Not until you have a rock solid commitment between the two of you, and you accept the term "In sickness and in health".


END.


Ted
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Old 6th January 2018, 12:36 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by Hellthrash View Post
Hello everyone, I'm new here.

I'm here to vent something who is really bugging me.
I have a 7 month relationship and everything was fine until last Monday.

My girlfriend is been texting (Facebook chat) with this guy for the last 2 months. They text sometimes, not every single day.
I'm complety cool with that, I'm not a jealous person at all but after new year, I woke up and my girlfriend sent to me a messages saying....

"send nudes"
(she knows I don't like that and for far as I know she doesn't ether, she know I'm more like, if u want something that will be in person not over a chat) so the conversation between my gf and I was like this...

Me: Send nudes?
Gf: Yeah
Me: What are u been doing all night?
Gf: I get bored and I sent u that messege lol
Me: yeah right

So after that short conversation i spend all day thinking and got to the conclusion of... She make a mistake sending me the txt, maybe was for somebody else.

That same night I check her Facebook chat and found a conversation with this guy about the "send nudes" messege. I knew was something weird going on.

I read the entire conversation.

He add my gf on Facebook.
At the beginning they talk about random things, then this guy started talking about dicks, after that he started talking about he's dick and asking my gf if she masturbate, what are her sizes, what she like to do, etc, etc.
Then this guy started asking about me. What are my penis sizes, how long I last during sex, what I do to her doring sex, etc, etc.

They stop texting for like 3 weeks and at new years morning he sent a message to my GF and this guy started asking if she had sex with me on new years and then he ask for naked pictures of my gf.
And here is the big problem I have, actually broke the trust I used to have on my gf, she replied...

"I can't, my BF is next to me'

So this guy told her...

" go to the bathroom and take pictures of your boobs and Dat ass"

She keep saying... "I can't"

So this guy started asking question about my penis again!!!! And she was answering all the questions!!! Until she replied...

"You want me to sent you a pictures of his dick!?"

He replied...

"OK but u will send me a picture of u naked too, deal?

Her answer was... OK, but if I don't get a pictures of he's dick I will not send u a naked picture of me.

And here is the rest of the conversation. (I took screen shots)


Him: But if you show his penis show your Boobs or something else. Even out the view. Who are they then

Gf: Well first of all I have to convince him to get his dick out which means fooling around then if I quickly snap a photo he's going to freak so I'll see what I can do lmao

Him: Lol you'll have to show your Boobs

Gf: My boobs are small. I have an ass hips and thick thighs that make up for it. Idk if you've seen my modeling photos. Not much boobage

Him: Nope and it doesn't matter you could showe both

Gf: Well that's only if I get the dick pic

Him: He can send one if you asked yo see it then show him the nudes too

Gf: I'll send him a Facebook message now. I think he's awake lmao

Him: Its your Boobs and your ass. We don't have to call it nude just two bare pics

Gf: Hellthrash woke up "Send nudes??? 🤔 yea right. Why would you even say that?" I told him I was bored and I wanted some photos. So plan B. Snap a photo.

Him: lol

Gf: We'll see. I think he's dick shy. When he heard of dudes measuring their dicks he was like in shock and was like wtf why would anybody do that? So now I always jokingly whip out my tape measure and ask him when he's bored if he wants to measure himself and he's like noooo!!!!!

Him: Lol take the pictures of yourself

Gf: Man I'm comfy I'm not moving right now

So that the situation I'm dealing in silence, Idk if this if cheating or what but I know this is one step to become cheating.
They never met in person.

I'm very disappointed of her.

Thanks you for reading, if u have advice or comments I will bee more that happy to read your thoughts.
Kick your Girlfriend out of your life before you end up kicking her ass.

It's a no brainer...and it really IS that simple.
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Old 6th January 2018, 1:33 PM   #30
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Thanks again to everyone for the help and advice.

I'm not dealing with this situation any more, time to move on but I have a little problem with that.

I know she's going to turn nuts the minute I break up with her. I don't care about that really, but I want my stuff out of that house (I don't live with her but I stay alot on her house)

Two months ago we decided to move together so I bought a couch. We didn't have a place to put the couch in that minute so she told me to get rid of her couch and put the new one there (I know! Big mistake) so we did and I'm still paying that couch, I'm talking about a 2 thousand dollar couch. I'm not leaving her that couch, is not for the money, Its just because she doesn't deserve NOTHING from me.

The store where I bought the couch has there own credit so I applied and the contract is on my name, they run my credit. There's no name of her on this contract.

Any advice how to take that couch out of there?
She LOVE this couch. I don't think she will allow me to take it that easy.
She can easily call the police and tell them I'm stilling the couch.

My sister told me to go with the police but a don't thing the police can do nothing in situation like this no?

She doesn't leave the house either. Believe it or not, on this 7 months of relation she been out of that house only when I take her out (she doesn't have a car) and the temperatures over here today are -13 F

Any advice?

Thank u again for the support.
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