Grey40 Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Met girl online, set up first date time place and day everything and she agreed. Plans were made on Thursday for a Sunday date. She doesn’t show up to the date. She never called or texted to cancel. So I text her saying, “guessing you forgot about the date?” She says “omg yes I did! So sorry! I hadn’t heard from you in a few days so I figured it was off? Did you show up there?” Me: yeah I did Her: you should have texted me last night or something Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Well, I agree that one of you should have confirmed plans beforehand..... wonder why she didn't? Move on. OK, I'm editing my response after I thought about it. So which was it....she forgot or she figured it was off? My advice is the same....move on. She sounds like a flake. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
newyorker11356 Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 You were both in the wrong. She could have mentioned if the date was still on for Sunday, and you could have followed up with her the day before, or the same day in the afternoon or something to see if she was still free. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 You should respond with: "And you should decide which excuse you're going with....you forgot or you thought I wouldn't show. Bye and good luck." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Oh boy. Sigh. While I am a woman who likes to communicate everyday, I don't think I would be so rigid as to punish a guy for something like this. That something being not communicating before a very first date and it had only been 2-3 days between the time you set it up until the first day. Again, you haven't even met. Now after the first date, assuming he wants to continue and we like each other, I would expect daily communication. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Yeah if she actually forgot like she claims, that's a really bad sign and I wouldn't continue with her. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Yeah if she actually forgot like she claims, that's a really bad sign and I wouldn't continue with her. Lying about forgetting is even worse. Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 She sounds like she doesn't really care one way or the other. Were she interested, she'd have gotten in touch or turned up just in case. I would move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grey40 Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 Her reasoning was that usually guys text her everyday leading up to the date so she assumed because I didn’t that I was no longer interested. A good excuse I guess Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grey40 Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 You were both in the wrong. She could have mentioned if the date was still on for Sunday, and you could have followed up with her the day before, or the same day in the afternoon or something to see if she was still free. Yeah I usually never have to follow up or confirm though, 9/10 times either the girl asks if it’s still on or she just shows up. The only time I ever usually confirm ahead of time is if I’m driving a good distance, and even then I usually will confirm the morning of. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Her reasoning was that usually guys text her everyday leading up to the date so she assumed because I didn’t that I was no longer interested. A good excuse I guess Well, I don't think texting every day is necessary but yes, you should have confirmed day before or day off. However, she could have also, and she shouldn't have said, "Oh yes I did!" when you asked if she forgot. That may have been a knee-jerk safe-face remark that she regretted after she hit send, though. Since she totally contradicted herself and all. Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Her reasoning was that usually guys text her everyday leading up to the date so she assumed because I didn’t that I was no longer interested. A good excuse I guess This may well be true. If you're not the type to text every day, especially before a first meeting (sounds a little high maintenance to me), you've lost nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grey40 Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 This may well be true. If you're not the type to text every day, especially before a first meeting (sounds a little high maintenance to me), you've lost nothing. Yeah I mean I find it a huge waste of time to do that before you even meet the person face to face. And it’s not like i waited an entire week, it was 3 days and the only reason I didn’t text is because plans were set. She agreed that she could have texted me too, and that she felt really bad. She said she can still get ready and meet me for a little right now I said, no worries, I’m home now maybe some other time” 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Is her finger broken? Still, just confirm the date the day before. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 So, what's your decision, are you going to try to see her again or pass on her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grey40 Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 Is her finger broken? Still, just confirm the date the day before. Eh, I’ve never had to do that once ever in my life if the date was made 2-3 days ahead of time. If it was made further out, then yeah I confirm. But 2-3 Days is pretty clear cut to me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grey40 Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 So, what's your decision, are you going to try to see her again or pass on her? Not sure. I guess I’ll wait til the middle of the week and maybe ask her out one more time, but if something else comes along before that then I won’t. Link to post Share on other sites
newyorker11356 Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Eh, I’ve never had to do that once ever in my life if the date was made 2-3 days ahead of time. If it was made further out, then yeah I confirm. But 2-3 Days is pretty clear cut to me Eh, I still always confirm the day of. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Not sure. I guess I’ll wait til the middle of the week and maybe ask her out one more time, but if something else comes along before that then I won’t. Sounds fair. You handled it well, fwiw. Link to post Share on other sites
lovephule Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 She says “omg yes I did! So sorry! I hadn’t heard from you in a few days so I figured it was off? Did you show up there?” Me: yeah I did Her: you should have texted me last night or something I find her reply a touch obnoxious. Would drop it and reconsider if she offers a reschedule. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Eh, I’ve never had to do that once ever in my life if the date was made 2-3 days ahead of time. If it was made further out, then yeah I confirm. But 2-3 Days is pretty clear cut to me Eh, I don't know. I've been using the app LetGo to sell some stuff and even with that I confirm we're "still on" if we haven't chatted for a couple days.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Met girl online, set up first date time place and day everything and she agreed. Plans were made on Thursday for a Sunday date. She doesn’t show up to the date. She never called or texted to cancel. So I text her saying, “guessing you forgot about the date?” She says “omg yes I did! So sorry! I hadn’t heard from you in a few days so I figured it was off? Did you show up there?” Me: yeah I did Her: you should have texted me last night or something When plans were made on Thursday for a Sunday date, you should have also told her you would confirm on Saturday with her, since you set it all up. She was invited, not the one inviting. Were she the one who set it all up, the onus would have been on her to confirm. Having said that: she knew you two had a date on Sunday. She knew where it was and what time because she agreed, so why would she think it was off? And if she did, she could have dropped a text on Saturday to say "looking forward to tomorrow", but she didn't. I had this happen to me once, (and it's part of the reason why I have a 15 mile limit on my travel) and I drove the 40 miles to where he was, I made the plans, found the place even though he lived in the area and I had no clue as to what was around in that area. I got there, I waited and he never showed up. I dropped him a text saying "I"m here" and he replied saying he had to work tha day. Clearly, his cell phone worked as did the texting features, so he could have texted me early in the day to tell him he was called into work (which I highly doubt). He apologized and asked if we could reschedule and I said "yes". After we were done texting, I blocked him. People who have no consideration for your time aren't worth your time. She knew what was up and she flaked on you. Block her and keep it moving--you can do way better than this ditz. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 I thînk it's silly she expected you to confirm a Sunday date made on Thursday. I mean, come on! So, I don't think you were in the wrong at all. She's a flake. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Eh, I’ve never had to do that once ever in my life if the date was made 2-3 days ahead of time. If it was made further out, then yeah I confirm. But 2-3 Days is pretty clear cut to me It certainly would be everywhere except on OLD where people get ghosted all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Knowing how flakey people can be, I always confirm a date few hours before the meeting time if there hasn't been much communication in between. Or I say something like -- hey i will start from home at xx:xx, let me know when you start. see you soon. If no response then I don't go out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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