kaisergal Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I feel ive done a terrible and awful thing ive known this guy on/off for 5 years now and its basically been a casual sex thing but he is the lowest of the low and really wish I hadn't. When I first met him them years ago he made out he was single and wasn't had a gf and actually living with a woman.... Now he is back with his ex gf who isn't the nicest either as she is married and still living with her husband whilst with him. I wouldn't mind but im not a bad person and just bumped into him when very drunk and things happened. This happens every now and again with this guy I don't know what it is but cant shift him and things always happen when were both drunk and in same radius. He wont date me as im too young and he only likes women who pays for him etc and are a lot older than him. Just wish I hadn't done it and feel awful as I know what a horrid user he is. Full blown alki doesn't work cheats and steals 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I dunno. Why do you keep doing this? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I feel ive done a terrible and awful thing ive known this guy on/off for 5 years now and its basically been a casual sex thing but he is the lowest of the low and really wish I hadn't. When I first met him them years ago he made out he was single and wasn't had a gf and actually living with a woman.... Now he is back with his ex gf who isn't the nicest either as she is married and still living with her husband whilst with him. I wouldn't mind but im not a bad person and just bumped into him when very drunk and things happened. This happens every now and again with this guy I don't know what it is but cant shift him and things always happen when were both drunk and in same radius. He wont date me as im too young and he only likes women who pays for him etc and are a lot older than him. Just wish I hadn't done it and feel awful as I know what a horrid user he is. Full blown alki doesn't work cheats and steals Well, there isn't an easy way to say this, but you do it because you have no self-control, aren't happy with yourself and therefore, treat yourself poorly and are lonely and want some kind of companionship even if its with a low life, cheating, confused, woman using, mysogynist, alcoholic with nothing to offer anyone. Get focused on your life and yourself. Work on the things you aren't satisfied with and enjoy the things you are satisfied with. Cut this guy off -- block his number and delete it from your phone. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyHonesty Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I wouldn't mind but im not a bad person and just bumped into him when very drunk and things happened. This happens every now and again with this guy I don't know what it is but cant shift him and things always happen when were both drunk and in same radius. He wont date me as im too young and he only likes women who pays for him etc and are a lot older than him. Just wish I hadn't done it and feel awful as I know what a horrid user he is. Full blown alki doesn't work cheats and steals Things don't happen unless you make them happen. You are just trying to remove responsibility for your own actions. You like bad boys but society tells you that you should like the nice guys so you feel bad. You need to admit this to yourself, it's not uncommon. A lot of women find stable nice guys that have jobs and manners as outright boring. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted August 24, 2016 Author Share Posted August 24, 2016 Well, there isn't an easy way to say this, but you do it because you have no self-control, aren't happy with yourself and therefore, treat yourself poorly and are lonely and want some kind of companionship even if its with a low life, cheating, confused, woman using, mysogynist, alcoholic with nothing to offer anyone. Get focused on your life and yourself. Work on the things you aren't satisfied with and enjoy the things you are satisfied with. Cut this guy off -- block his number and delete it from your phone. Yep it certainly is cause I'm low in myself as everyone thinks he's gross and not a nice person. He's dating a married woman too as well yet slept with me I just find when I see him there's a pull and know I shouldn't and how bad it is ( I know I deserve better. He makes out he's happy in his relationships but still cheats and plays up 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 You are the only person who can guide your own life. You have more control over your life than anyone or any diety. So don't wait for someone to wave a magic wand and fix you. You need to fix you by taking responsibility for your own actions, making a list of requirements men have to meet, including things you will not tolerate, and bail on them as soon as you see the red flag. Take the wheel, because no one else can do it for you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted August 24, 2016 Author Share Posted August 24, 2016 You are the only person who can guide your own life. You have more control over your life than anyone or any diety. So don't wait for someone to wave a magic wand and fix you. You need to fix you by taking responsibility for your own actions, making a list of requirements men have to meet, including things you will not tolerate, and bail on them as soon as you see the red flag. Take the wheel, because no one else can do it for you. People keep telling me to get away from him even if I don't see him for ages see him once and the feelings come rolling bk he's a very big red light Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Like most people, you need company, love and physical affection. There is nothing wrong with needing that. That is why you feel pulled towards him. But you know he's not good enough for you and that you deserve better. You really do deserve better. Once you have realised that, you can start to do things that boost your confidence not knock it. Once you feel proud of yourself, the kind and loving person you are, others will recognise it too. You will find it easier to turn him down. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JoeSmith357-1 Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Why do you keep doing it? Low self esteem and no self respect 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Examine your relationship with alcohol. It's not a healthy one. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Ya I was going to say, your drinking is causing you to make poor choices....stop drinking and this will stop happening....simple as that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted August 24, 2016 Author Share Posted August 24, 2016 Like most people, you need company, love and physical affection. There is nothing wrong with needing that. That is why you feel pulled towards him. But you know he's not good enough for you and that you deserve better. You really do deserve better. Once you have realised that, you can start to do things that boost your confidence not knock it. Once you feel proud of yourself, the kind and loving person you are, others will recognise it too. You will find it easier to turn him down. Thank u for this ) cause when I'm feeling low all I think is why didn't he want me and go with these older women that he goes for Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyHonesty Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Like most people, you need company, love and physical affection. There is nothing wrong with needing that. That is why you feel pulled towards him. But you know he's not good enough for you and that you deserve better. You really do deserve better. Once you have realised that, you can start to do things that boost your confidence not knock it. Once you feel proud of yourself, the kind and loving person you are, others will recognise it too. You will find it easier to turn him down. Yet other people that want company, love and physical affection also chose people that are good so I don't think it has much to do with that desire. Another problem here is that when / if she does finally meet a nice guy, she will be expecting him to act the same way as the bad one and may end up sabotaging it. People always like saying that the past is the past but it isn't, there are consequences for our actions. I recommend the OP go get herself checked out at an STD clinic as well. We only get one body and it is a temple... Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyHonesty Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Yep it certainly is cause I'm low in myself as everyone thinks he's gross and not a nice person. He's dating a married woman too as well yet slept with me I just find when I see him there's a pull and know I shouldn't and how bad it is ( I know I deserve better. He makes out he's happy in his relationships but still cheats and plays up Again, take some responsibility for your actions. He did not sleep with you, you slept with each other. Own your decisions... Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Is this a serious post - because the whole situation is messed up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 Is this a serious post - because the whole situation is messed up. Yes this is real Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 Again, take some responsibility for your actions. He did not sleep with you, you slept with each other. Own your decisions... Yes but he won't admit what he has done and gets away with it Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 Like most people, you need company, love and physical affection. There is nothing wrong with needing that. That is why you feel pulled towards him. But you know he's not good enough for you and that you deserve better. You really do deserve better. Once you have realised that, you can start to do things that boost your confidence not knock it. Once you feel proud of yourself, the kind and loving person you are, others will recognise it too. You will find it easier to turn him down. Wish I was kinder to myself everyone hates him and sees what he is I just feel not good enough Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Forgive yourself, and make sure it doesn't happen again. Don't get drunk around him, or just don't get drunk. If I had a dollar for every time I screwed up, well, I'd have a few dollars. No sense in beating ourselves up. You'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 So why do you keep doing it? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Yes but he won't admit what he has done and gets away with it He only gets away with it because you let him get away with it again and again and again. Only one person can stop the cycle - and it ain't him. Why would he want to stop it? He is getting exactly what he wants so he will keep doing the same thing over and over, as long as you let him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 Again, take some responsibility for your actions. He did not sleep with you, you slept with each other. Own your decisions... Yet he will always get away with it despite having a gf ;( Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 He only gets away with it because you let him get away with it again and again and again. Only one person can stop the cycle - and it ain't him. Why would he want to stop it? He is getting exactly what he wants so he will keep doing the same thing over and over, as long as you let him. but hes got a gf why would he need me whenever anyone finds out hes done summat again always me that gets the crap Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Because you eat it up like a tramp on chips. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaisergal Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 Because you eat it up like a tramp on chips. I am not a tramp just another of the women in his life he plays up! The one he is with is married with a kid still lives at home with the husband Link to post Share on other sites
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