HumanMachine Posted July 27, 2016 Share Posted July 27, 2016 Before I start I must say that I have absolutely no intention of going any further with this woman, I am just interested in her train of thought/goal; for future reference.. Following on from this thread - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/588653-tells-me-she-loves-me-then-she-has-commitment-issues-we-should-go-nc She came to mine to collect her stuff, before leaving she asked if we could have a coffee and chat 'as friends'. The convvo was going fairly well until she asked me my future plans; i told her "i leave soon, without any commitments here i'll be looking to stay abroad for as long as possible", she started hysterically crying.. She told me that she is madly in love with me, thinks about me every second of the day and blah blah, can't lose me, begged me to be her boyfriend. Said she made a mistake before and regrets it, is ready for a relationship. I asked her about the other guy, she admitted that she had slept with him on two occasions - last weekend and the weekend before (following on from the text message in my other thread), she proclaimed that we weren't in a relationship so she's done nothing wrong. I told her that whilst aestically and as a person she's perfect for me, she has unrepairable flaws and I couldn't ever trust her. Both times she's lost it and expressed her feelings to me have been the day after she's seen this guy, which makes me think: Other guy is her boyfriend. He calls/texts all the time when she is with me which is a bit weird considering they just had/have a fwb setup OR She wants other guy, other guy does his business then sends her on her way, she comes to me for comfort after being hurt by him. Does any of the above actually matter? No Should i even be asking? No Would I be grateful for some insight into her actions? Yes Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted July 27, 2016 Share Posted July 27, 2016 Does any of the above actually matter? No Should i even be asking? No Would I be grateful for some insight into her actions? Yes She's looking for a soft place to land. I only read part of your previous thread, but there's enough info to see that it's a toxic situation. Sounds like to me that she's an emotional train wreck, is involved sexually with some guy on some level but wanting to keep you on the string. I think emotion drives her actions, and her emotions are erratic and unpredictable. She doesn't have any "objective" beyond seeking comfort and validation. Don't change your plans - this one will look a lot better in the rear view mirror. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted July 27, 2016 Share Posted July 27, 2016 She's looking for a soft place to land. I only read part of your previous thread, but there's enough info to see that it's a toxic situation. Sounds like to me that she's an emotional train wreck, is involved sexually with some guy on some level but wanting to keep you on the string. I think emotion drives her actions, and her emotions are erratic and unpredictable. She doesn't have any "objective" beyond seeking comfort and validation. Don't change your plans - this one will look a lot better in the rear view mirror. I completely agree with this. She certainly wants validation. How does she cry over one guy, when she just slept with another last weekend? She sounds like she would be very trustworthy (sarcasm). And only slept with him on two occasions? As if that justifies it right? And if you love someone, why are you even entertaining someone else? Makes sense right? As Sal said, she doesn't want to lose her soft place to land. It's all a game to her. Show her that she doesn't make the rules anymore, at least not for you, and walk away. Otherwise, she'll keep running this same game. And think about it, she only begged you to be her boyfriend when you decided that you had enough. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HumanMachine Posted July 27, 2016 Author Share Posted July 27, 2016 Thank you both appreciate your posts Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 27, 2016 Share Posted July 27, 2016 She's using you as an emotional tampon. Move on, she'll drain you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HumanMachine Posted July 30, 2016 Author Share Posted July 30, 2016 I've given her stuff back and we said our goodbyes. She said that everything she said the other day was a lie, however she knows one thing for sure, that she was in love with me mental! This forum definitely helped me a lot.. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
leogirl876 Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 Don't waste your time. She's trying to keep both you and this other guy around. Sounds like she maybe doesn't like this other guy a whole lot but for some reason she can't get away from him (maybe some deep negative attachment) and is trying to keep you around for when she's ready to dump the other guy. Regardless of what it is, it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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