Go for broke?

[lionheart153]

So I recently had dinner with an old friend and we were catching up and I told her about the girl that sorta disappeared on me. I'll refer to this thread here.

 

Anyway she said that yea maybe the girl isn't interested and all the advice given are all valid, but now that I've arrived at a state that I know that its over and I can move past this (as she felt it was nothing serious anyway) why not go for broke and just be straight.

 

Ask her out, say its a date, and if shes not interested to just say so. The idea is interesting and she is right, I'm moving on, not like we knew each other long, so whatever her answer is wouldn't really effect me. In fact I have a date next Sunday with someone new. While I initially declined the idea she brought up that maybe it could have been miscommunication, as her bf and her had something similar happen, and the bf did just that, did a last hail mary and it worked for her and they are together for 4 years now. She isn't say it'll be the same, but at least I can be at peace that I clarified things and won't be left to wonder.

 

So curious to see what you guys think.

[d0nnivain]

When this much time has passed, you have your answer. She's not interested.

 

I have no problem with the "go for broke" attitude initially, asking directly so there is no confusion. To do it now just makes you look socially awkward.

[lovexocoach]

Sounds like you could be wasting your time. She either wasn't ready for a relationship or something you did turned her off (based on your other thread). If you're still thinking about her you haven't moved on. Time to move on I think.

[lionheart153]

Ok I'll admit, part of me still thinks about wtf happened. which is why this idea creep into my head after it was suggested.

[minime13]

Don't do it. #1, she already said she doesn't want to go out on a date. #2, she seems all over the place and you don't need someone else to walk all over you while sorting out their problems.

 

You met on a dating site, she had her sister follow you around on one of your dates, then made it clear that your next date was, in fact, not a date. She doesn't understand dating.

 

Run. Don't walk. Find someone new.

[fitnessfan365]

On one hand I can relate. I had four amazing dates with a woman over the past three weeks. She'd always reference future plans (including at the end of the last one), go on and on about how compatible we were, say things like how I was the only guy to make her weak in the knees, etc.. Yet she's disappeared on me out of nowhere.

 

Does it make me frustrated? Sure. But once a woman shows she has no interest, there's nothing you can do to change her mind. It's just the way that it is. So if she's demonstrating with her actions that she doesn't want another date, my advice would be to just let it be and meet someone else.

[LostOne1]

Ok I'll admit, part of me still thinks about wtf happened. which is why this idea creep into my head after it was suggested.

Bro.. read my other threads... I was in the same spot as you.

 

I had this amazing 1st date with a girl. We had amazing text convo's till our 2nd date. She was so awesome. I finally had met a woman that was more like me.

 

Then date 2 hits and **** hits the fan. And I left thinking WTF happened.....

 

Truth be told, we will never know and I don't think it's worth worrying about it. But you know what, you WILL worry about it. I know so, because I did the same for awhile. Then as time went by she and her memories slowly faded away.

 

Just recently I ran into her cousin, which kinda brought it back. But yea, as fitnessfan said... when a woman backs off usually you are screwed. That just means it's time to move on.

 

And not many women are going to be honest. So you might as well forget about getting a solid answer of WTF went wrong....

[lionheart153]

Don't do it. #1, she already said she doesn't want to go out on a date. #2, she seems all over the place and you don't need someone else to walk all over you while sorting out their problems.

 

You met on a dating site, she had her sister follow you around on one of your dates, then made it clear that your next date was, in fact, not a date. She doesn't understand dating.

 

Run. Don't walk. Find someone new.

 

I'm struggling with why im still stuck on her, you are right, red flags all over, and I should know better. But I can't seem to shake it.

 

On one hand I can relate. I had four amazing dates with a woman over the past three weeks. She'd always reference future plans (including at the end of the last one), go on and on about how compatible we were, say things like how I was the only guy to make her weak in the knees, etc.. Yet she's disappeared on me out of nowhere.

 

Does it make me frustrated? Sure. But once a woman shows she has no interest, there's nothing you can do to change her mind. It's just the way that it is. So if she's demonstrating with her actions that she doesn't want another date, my advice would be to just let it be and meet someone else.

So once they change that mind, its over? Nothing I guy can do? Just hope they turn around?

 

Bro.. read my other threads... I was in the same spot as you.

 

I had this amazing 1st date with a girl. We had amazing text convo's till our 2nd date. She was so awesome. I finally had met a woman that was more like me.

 

Then date 2 hits and **** hits the fan. And I left thinking WTF happened.....

 

Truth be told, we will never know and I don't think it's worth worrying about it. But you know what, you WILL worry about it. I know so, because I did the same for awhile. Then as time went by she and her memories slowly faded away.

 

Just recently I ran into her cousin, which kinda brought it back. But yea, as fitnessfan said... when a woman backs off usually you are screwed. That just means it's time to move on.

 

And not many women are going to be honest. So you might as well forget about getting a solid answer of WTF went wrong....

 

 

Thats such a load of crap, I hate that. She destroyed my self-confidence, that i hard work so hard to build up. All the weight and body fat and abs I gained that boosted my self confidence went out the window with her. Now I'm stuck trying rebuild it.

[fitnessfan365]

Dude your body fat % and abs have nothing to do with how you interact with women. Based on how you acted and overly invested you got, that is what turned her off. It had nothing to do with your looks AT ALL.

 

If looks and money were all that mattered like some guys claim, you wouldn't see average looking Joe's with such beautiful women. Now as a personal trainer and hardcore fitness guru, I'll say that being in shape doesn't hurt. But until you work on your bad behavior and learn how to push a woman's buttons, all that time in the gym won't matter in keeping a woman.

[minime13]

You are still stuck on her because you think she's playing hard to get and you feel that it is your obligation to pursue.

 

She's not playing hard to get. She's just playing. Move on.

[smackie9]

If one date/ 2nd date rejection destroys your self-confidence then you are not ready to join the dating scene. It's not your self-confidence you need to build up again, no you need to work on that unhealthy emotional attachment you have.