why is it wrong to manipulate girls feelings ?

[Jet96]

I have been told by my female friends and mother ever since i was interested into not to do this but it is a very very bad thing to do especially to young girl but now i think its dumb she told me not to im 18 never been kissed never had a girlfriend and still a virgin i see left and right guys do that and are far higher level in the dating game from average looking regular guys (who were lucky enough not to be told thats wrong) to players who do this all the time to get girls and the have done all the things that i haven't. What i have been told what girls like are wrong i.e always be chivalrous ,do not curse around her or too her, always open the door for her compliment her , and most of all DO NOT play with thier feelings and emotions none of that is working im not a guy that is just looking for sex i just want a committed relationship with a girl . and if its so bad why does it work they might get hurt but they go back to those guys or guys just like them its clearly thats what the want we live in a really shallow world i really dont want to but if i can't beat these A$$ Holes why not join them ?

[fitnessfan365]

The fact that you're a virgin @ 18 that has never even kissed a girl has nothing to do with other guys. It has to do with YOUR BEHAVIOR. As long as you keep making excuses and keep blaming others, you're never going to improve and fix the mistakes you're making.

 

BTW - if you were really as "nice" as you claim, you wouldn't be talking about wanting to manipulate girls just to land one.

[Jet96]

The fact that you're a virgin @ 18 that has never even kissed a girl has nothing to do with other guys. It has to do with YOUR BEHAVIOR. As long as you keep making excuses and keep blaming others, you're never going to improve and fix the mistakes you're making.

 

BTW - if you were really as "nice" as you claim, you wouldn't be talking about wanting to manipulate girls just to land one.

Its working for them are you saying that's the right behavior?

[neowulf]

I have been told by my female friends and mother ever since i was interested into not to do this but it is a very very bad thing to do especially to young girl but now i think its dumb she told me not to im 18 never been kissed never had a girlfriend and still a virgin i see left and right guys do that and are far higher level in the dating game from average looking regular guys (who were lucky enough not to be told thats wrong) to players who do this all the time to get girls and the have done all the things that i haven't. What i have been told what girls like are wrong i.e always be chivalrous ,do not curse around her or too her, always open the door for her compliment her , and most of all DO NOT play with thier feelings and emotions none of that is working im not a guy that is just looking for sex i just want a committed relationship with a girl . and if its so bad why does it work they might get hurt but they go back to those guys or guys just like them its clearly thats what the want we live in a really shallow world i really dont want to but if i can't beat these A$$ Holes why not join them ?

 

Women are people. Like your mother. Like your friends. The fact you want to have sex with them doesn't suddenly mean they stop being people.

 

You treat women with respect, because I assume you'd like your mother, sister or friends treated with respect.

 

You don't behave "nicely" because it's some kind of magical way to bed women. It's not. That's flawed thinking.

 

Women *respect* a man who holds himself to a higher standard. With that respect sometimes comes attraction.

 

Spend time thinking about the kind of man you'd like to be. Because if you're a good man, you can be assured, women will notice.

[preraph]

Your mom gave you good advice to live by. If you want someone who appreciates you, you have to be nice and earn someone's respect and love. You're way too young to be feeling sorry for yourself because you haven't gota woman.

[Jet96]

Women are people. Like your mother. Like your friends. The fact you want to have sex with them doesn't suddenly mean they stop being people.

 

You treat women with respect, because I assume you'd like your mother, sister or friends treated with respect.

 

You don't behave "nicely" because it's some kind of magical way to bed women. It's not. That's flawed thinking.

 

Women *respect* a man who holds himself to a higher standard. With that respect sometimes comes attraction.

 

Spend time thinking about the kind of man you'd like to be. Because if you're a good man, you can be assured, women will notice.

i just wanna finally be in a relationship and Again NOT for Just sex if its so wrong then why is it working ?

[losangelena]

Committed relationships are built on mutual love, respect, and trust.

 

Do you really think that manipulating a girl for sex can be the foundation of a relationship built on love, respect, and trust?

 

"Playing" is not inherently wrong, but it's the wrong tactic to take for what you claim you want.

 

Plus, men who play get reputations after a while. My BF's gym partner (who's 35, by the way) is a player/man whore. He's actually a really nice guy, but I would NEVER set up any of my girlfriends with him, because I know he would not respect them the way he should. He's not relationship material, unfortunately, and relationship-minded women stay away.

[Jet96]

Your mom gave you good advice to live by. If you want someone who appreciates you, you have to be nice and earn someone's respect and love. You're way too young to be feeling sorry for yourself because you haven't gota woman.

 

I thought girls hate those type of guys your tatalking about ?

[Jet96]

Committed relationships are built on mutual love, respect, and trust.

 

Do you really think that manipulating a girl for sex can be the foundation of a relationship built on love, respect, and trust?

 

"Playing" is not inherently wrong, but it's the wrong tactic to take for what you claim you want.

 

Plus, men who play get reputations after a while. My BF's gym partner (who's 35, by the way) is a player/man whore. He's actually a really nice guy, but I would NEVER set up any of my girlfriends with him, because I know he would not respect them the way he should. He's not relationship material, unfortunately, and relationship-minded women stay away.

but does he still get women on his own ?

[elaine567]

I thought girls hate those type of guys your tatalking about ?

 

Who told you that?

[losangelena]

but does he still get women on his own ?

 

Yes, he gets plenty of women to sleep with him, but not committed relationships.

 

You just said you wanted a committed relationship.

 

Which is it? Does that guy sound like someone you want to emulate?

[fitnessfan365]

Its working for them are you saying that's the right behavior?

 

Do women make bad decisions and fall for guys that are bad for them? Sure.

 

But you're making assumptions and excuses because you lack confidence with women. Just because guys have women in their life, it doesn't mean they're all a-holes with "bad behavior". They just have the confidence and balls to get what they want. Instead of worrying about other people. your sole focus should be on yourself and self improvement.

[neowulf]

i just wanna finally be in a relationship and Again NOT for Just sex if its so wrong then why is it working ?

 

What exactly is it you're planning on bringing to the table?

 

Neediness? Self-pity? Indignation?

 

All I hear is "I WANT X, WHY WON"T THE WORLD GIVE ME X, IT

'"S SO UNFAIR".

 

If you go down the road of manipulating women for sex, it will lessen you as a person. You will hurt people, often good people, for selfish gain.

 

You will wake up some day and regret it.

[Jet96]

Yes, he gets plenty of women to sleep with him, but not committed relationships.

 

You just said you wanted a committed relationship.

 

Which is it? Does that guy sound like someone you want to emulate?

No but WHAT WORKS then doing the complete opposite clrearly dosent?

[Jet96]

What exactly is it you're planning on bringing to the table?

 

Neediness? Self-pity? Indignation?

 

All I hear is "I WANT X, WHY WON"T THE WORLD GIVE ME X, IT

'"S SO UNFAIR".

 

If you go down the road of manipulating women for sex, it will lessen you as a person. You will hurt people, often good people, for selfish gain.

 

You will wake up some day and regret it.

Again im not looking for only sex and i dont see them regretting anything

[fitnessfan365]

No but WHAT WORKS then doing the complete opposite clrearly dosent?

 

Dude, you need to stop talking about what "works" and what doesn't when you clearly have no idea what you're talking about. I mean let's face it. If you knew what 'worked" you would have a woman in your life. You wouldn't be on here complaining.

 

So as I said before. Stop paying attention to other people and making assumptions about them. Just focus on improving yourself and building your confidence so you can get a girl that you'll actually respect and care about.

[losangelena]

I'm curious to know, OP, how you do try to get girls? I'm in my 30s as well, and as thus am not well-versed in the mating rituals of 18 year olds. What have you tried that doesn't work? What have you seen working that's caused you to come on here and ask about it? Why assume that the only way to get a girl is through some act of manipulation? Why do you think girls only like *******s and not guys who are nice and respectful?

 

You're 18. There are MANY people who take much longer to reach those sexual milestones.

[PogoStick]

Yes. I support you being a jerk. Go 100% ahole and get ALL the women. You will be drowning in so much kitty, it will be glorious!

[fitnessfan365]

I'm curious to know, OP, how you do try to get girls? I'm in my 30s as well, and as thus am not well-versed in the mating rituals of 18 year olds. What have you tried that doesn't work? What have you seen working that's caused you to come on here and ask about it? Why assume that the only way to get a girl is through some act of manipulation? Why do you think girls only like *******s and not guys who are nice and respectful?

 

You're 18. There are MANY people who take much longer to reach those sexual milestones.

 

I am SO GLAD that I didn't grow up as a teenager in today's society. I mean can you imagine dealing with all the non stop texting and social media? That's why I actually liked the movie 17 Again with Matthew Perry and Zack Effron. Shows how awkward it would be having to be a teenager now.

 

I graduated HS in 1999 and even then I felt out of place. I started going through puberty at age 9, and by the time I got to HS I was like a 35 year old trapped in a 15 year old's body. Plus, all my interests were older. So I was constantly friend zoned and rejected. It wasn't until I accepted responsibility for my own mistakes and worked on self improvement that I started doing well with women. Granted, I primarily dated older women until a few years ago..LOL But still, I wasn't going to change my life until I stopped blaming others.

 

That's why I always try to help guys like the OP out by getting them to focus on themselves. When you make excuses and blame others, nothing ever changes.

[Jet96]

I'm curious to know, OP, how you do try to get girls? I'm in my 30s as well, and as thus am not well-versed in the mating rituals of 18 year olds. What have you tried that doesn't work? What have you seen working that's caused you to come on here and ask about it? Why assume that the only way to get a girl is through some act of manipulation? Why do you think girls only like *******s and not guys who are nice and respectful?

 

You're 18. There are MANY people who take much longer to reach those sexual milestones.

I am naturally. A kind person with the most caring heart you wont believe(ive been told thus by a lot of people) but you have to believe me i HAVE tried no one can tell me i havent doing the things my mother and female friends doing i ha ve a affinity for writing poems about my feelings i have gave them to girls but they throw them away or will keep them and wont give me the time of day or friend zone me and keep saying ill find the right girl one day that wiil like my personality and appreciate me while the other guys do mess with their heart but end up getting the girls like you said they dont last but SOMETHING is working

[Jet96]

Yes. I support you being a jerk. Go 100% ahole and get ALL the women. You will be drowning in so much kitty, it will be glorious!

 

You must understand the struggle for guys like me

[neowulf]

I am naturally. A kind person with the most caring heart you wont believe(ive been told thus by a lot of people) but you have to believe me i HAVE tried no one can tell me i havent doing the things my mother and female friends doing i ha ve a affinity for writing poems about my feelings i have gave them to girls but they throw them away or will keep them and wont give me the time of day or friend zone me and keep saying ill find the right girl one day that wiil like my personality and appreciate me while the other guys do mess with their heart but end up getting the girls like you said they dont last but SOMETHING is working

 

Ok.. stop. Just stop a sec.

 

"Writing poems about your feelings and giving them to girls".

^ Ok, this isn't going to work for you. It comes across as sappy. Don't do that.

 

Just take a breath for a second.

 

Let me ask you this. Forget what other people have told you about yourself. Forget all that.

 

Look yourself in the mirror and answer honestly. Do you really like and respect yourself? As a person?

 

How do you feel about yourself? Do you feel like a good man?

Do you feel confident? Do you feel like you can handle yourself? Do you feel like you've got goals, friends, hobbies etc.

 

Forget getting laid for a minute and face the real issue here.

 

You're coming across as super needy, indignant and insecure.

 

How many women a week do you ask out? How many dates you had in the past month? How many women do you approach? How do you approach?

 

None of these things is about manipulating women. It's about presenting yourself as a cool. confident guy who can respect her and show her a good time.

 

Don't run from the hard work of growing as a person.

[fitnessfan365]

i HAVE tried no one can tell me i havent doing the things my mother and female friends doingg

 

I finally agree with you on something. Female friends and mothers are never honest about the type of men they're actually attracted to. They all talk about white knights who put them on pedestals, and have a Disney movie mentality. So guys that try to emulate that, kiss women's asses, try way too hard, and ultimately get friend zoned.

 

Years ago my mom says to me "You're such a ladies man now and you never dated when you were younger. What changed?" My response "I stopped taking your advice". After all, gentleman ends in "man" for a reason. It doesn't mean an overly sensitive feminine wuss.

 

However, that doesn't mean that you have to manipulate women and treat them like crap either. Develop a backbone to call women on their crap when appropriate. Be playful and tease women treating them like people. State your opinions. For example. She looks at you and says 'The sky is red"

 

Nice Guy Wuss - Wow, you're right. It's like we're on Mars or something.

 

Gentleman With Balls - "For a woman with such beautiful eyes, you sure are blind as a bat. It's blue you silly woman". Then he'd kiss her, and give her a smack on the butt for being silly.

 

** Combining actual personality, a bit of cocky confidence, and the ability to act like a man, with treating well in general is what will make you desirable.

[losangelena]

Well, I hate to join in with the chorus of your mom and female friends, but I think it's kinda true—you will find someone in time. I'd say, if you go to college, that there will be girls there who would appreciate getting a poem.

 

Listen kid, I don't think you're a jerk, and it sounds like if you tried to be a jerk to women, it wouldn't work. You don't want to be like my BF's friend—he's not happy, chasing these women the way he does. Fitnessfan already said it—there are ways of wooing women that don't require one to be a raging a-hole. You're not a manipulator, so don't expect that tactic to work for you.

[aussietigerwolf]

How would you feel if someone did it to you? If you wouldn't like it then don't do it.