My Ex-boyfriend told me to F off, is he justified in being mad?

[BlueIvy]

I made a few threads on this guy:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/426490-how-does-he-ignore-me-like-i-meant-nothing

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/433190-so-he-just-lonely-he-actually-missing-me

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/504981-should-i-cut-off-friendship-my-ex-boyfriend

 

So, anyway we aren't really together anymore but tried to be friends. And it obviously hasn't been working out. However, we would hang out once in awhile, which he initiated. I stopped asking him to hang out as to move on.

 

Last time we hung out was 3 weeks ago when he asked me to dinner. We did make out but did not have sex. He said how much he loves me, blah, blah.

 

Anyway, a week before dinner he basically asked me if I wanted to come over his house to make dinner together from this delivery gourmery service. He then ased about my dating life and said I need a man for stability, and how he still loves me and wants best for me.

 

I was upset because my dating life is none of his business...I told him I don't need a man and don't need him, and told him I am beautiful,etc and will be fine. He got mad and basically disinvited me from cooking and ignored me. Then like an idiot I went to his work (he has own office and no one was around) and was gonna ask why he ignoring me. He acted like nothing was wrong and was being flirty. Next day he invites me to dinner.

 

 

So, then a mutal friend, let's call him George and I were catching up via phone. I told him me and me stay in touch and we had dinner but I am trying to move on, even though I still care about him.

 

George said my ex, his friend, needs to leave me alone and how I am young and need to move on. He said he was going to talk to ex to leave me alone. I told him don't put me in this.

 

So, next day George forwards me the conversation where my ex agreed it was best to leave me alone, but that he was mad I didn't tell him myself.

 

So, I hit up my ex and he says, "Why are you contacting me? I am pissed you didn't tell me yourself, but it's all good."

 

I then told him I did not tell George to tell him anything and he replied, "F OFF, I am done, get over it"

 

So, he ignores me and then finally sends another message basically saying How would I feel in his shoes and how I knew he was uncomfortable with George knowing our business and he's not the bad guy. He also said if I regret our relationship, then so be it.

 

That's last time we communicated, which was like last week.

 

I think he is uncomfortable bout George knowing business because George is sexually attracted to me. He was friends with ex before me. George sent me a pic of his penis unprovoked. I called him out on it and he apologized. I told my ex when we were together and he was pissed and was gonna confront George but I talked him down. Ever since then, he said he doesn't really consider George his friend anymore. However, he would still talk to him.

Still, am I not allowed to tell people stuff? Wtf? My friend thinks my ex is insecure? Which I know is true but how would this make him insecure?

 

IDK why I care, while I still care for him IDK if I am still in love with him. I guess I remained friends because I thought it could work, and I didn't wanna lose him in my life. It's lke when it's bad, it's bad but when it's good, it's good. Honestly, I am not that sad I almost don't care...I guess I am upset that it ended on a bad note. We promised if/when it ends, it would never be on a bad note and we would remain friends.

 

And yes, I have gone out on dates/talking to men...I don't really want to be with him.

 

I appreciate honesty but don't be grimy:o

[elaine567]

YOU dumped him for a reason, so as a dumper you shouldn't try and be friends with the dumpee, because they cannot be friends with you. It hurts too much and they want you back

Your ex wants you back and each crumb you hand out, he thinks it means you love him and want him back.

He cannot stand the thought of you dating and is understandably very jealous of George.

Go NC for his sake, it is cruel to keep him hanging around, you CANNOT be friends.

[BlueIvy]

YOU dumped him for a reason, so as a dumper you shouldn't try and be friends with the dumpee, because they cannot be friends with you. It hurts too much and they want you back

Your ex wants you back and each crumb you hand out, he thinks it means you love him and want him back.

He cannot stand the thought of you dating and is understandably very jealous of George.

Go NC for his sake, it is cruel to keep him hanging around, you CANNOT be friends.

 

I dumped him becuse he would say I should be with a younger man and sometimes I felt he was pushing me away. But then he would lure me in. For instance, he was going to visit his daughter out the state and gave me his house key to house sit. And tried to say if I still had pics of us, asking for a kiss,etc.

 

Every time I try to break away, he lures me in...and I love him so I give in.

 

He's a lot older than me so there is no future. I think he wants me to be with a younger man, but I dont think he means it. He himself said before this fiasco, how we get along great when we are together...which I agree.

 

IDK why he would be jealous of George. I never did anything with me him, not attracted to him and he's married. And I can't help that he's attracted to me.

 

I would never cheat on someone I love.

[elaine567]

George sent me a pic of his penis unprovoked.

 

IDK why he would be jealous of George.

 

You don't know why?

[Auspecial]

I think his telling you to f off was justified for him at that moment. He had a big jealousy when George sent the un-asked for p pic (why do men do that??!??) plus the age issue, and the fact you were on shaky ground anyhow. Then George confronts him and who knows how he said this, most likely he gave a version of you wanting to be with George.

 

So yes, I think what he said was justified, given the situation.

 

Its sad because your feelings don't match what has happened. But it seems the relationship is not working out and you both are hanging on to crumbs and remnants of "what if's".

[Redhead14]

I made a few threads on this guy:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/426490-how-does-he-ignore-me-like-i-meant-nothing

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/433190-so-he-just-lonely-he-actually-missing-me

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/504981-should-i-cut-off-friendship-my-ex-boyfriend

 

So, anyway we aren't really together anymore but tried to be friends. And it obviously hasn't been working out. However, we would hang out once in awhile, which he initiated. I stopped asking him to hang out as to move on.

 

Last time we hung out was 3 weeks ago when he asked me to dinner. We did make out but did not have sex. He said how much he loves me, blah, blah.

 

Anyway, a week before dinner he basically asked me if I wanted to come over his house to make dinner together from this delivery gourmery service. He then ased about my dating life and said I need a man for stability, and how he still loves me and wants best for me.

 

I was upset because my dating life is none of his business...I told him I don't need a man and don't need him, and told him I am beautiful,etc and will be fine. He got mad and basically disinvited me from cooking and ignored me. Then like an idiot I went to his work (he has own office and no one was around) and was gonna ask why he ignoring me. He acted like nothing was wrong and was being flirty. Next day he invites me to dinner.

 

 

So, then a mutal friend, let's call him George and I were catching up via phone. I told him me and me stay in touch and we had dinner but I am trying to move on, even though I still care about him.

 

George said my ex, his friend, needs to leave me alone and how I am young and need to move on. He said he was going to talk to ex to leave me alone. I told him don't put me in this.

 

So, next day George forwards me the conversation where my ex agreed it was best to leave me alone, but that he was mad I didn't tell him myself.

 

So, I hit up my ex and he says, "Why are you contacting me? I am pissed you didn't tell me yourself, but it's all good."

 

I then told him I did not tell George to tell him anything and he replied, "F OFF, I am done, get over it"

 

So, he ignores me and then finally sends another message basically saying How would I feel in his shoes and how I knew he was uncomfortable with George knowing our business and he's not the bad guy. He also said if I regret our relationship, then so be it.

 

That's last time we communicated, which was like last week.

 

I think he is uncomfortable bout George knowing business because George is sexually attracted to me. He was friends with ex before me. George sent me a pic of his penis unprovoked. I called him out on it and he apologized. I told my ex when we were together and he was pissed and was gonna confront George but I talked him down. Ever since then, he said he doesn't really consider George his friend anymore. However, he would still talk to him.

Still, am I not allowed to tell people stuff? Wtf? My friend thinks my ex is insecure? Which I know is true but how would this make him insecure?

 

IDK why I care, while I still care for him IDK if I am still in love with him. I guess I remained friends because I thought it could work, and I didn't wanna lose him in my life. It's lke when it's bad, it's bad but when it's good, it's good. Honestly, I am not that sad I almost don't care...I guess I am upset that it ended on a bad note. We promised if/when it ends, it would never be on a bad note and we would remain friends.

 

And yes, I have gone out on dates/talking to men...I don't really want to be with him.

 

I appreciate honesty but don't be grimy:o

 

You are playing these two guys against each other. Stop telling each of them what's going on between you and the other. Stop seeing your ex or stop seeing George. Or, better yet, find someone else to be with.

[BlueIvy]

You don't know why?

George sent me his penis pic like a year ago. He knows I don't like George. I only told him because I think he should know what type of friend he has.

 

So, I don't know why telling George we had dinner was such a big deal.

[Diezel]

George sent me his penis pic like a year ago. He knows I don't like George. I only told him because I think he should know what type of friend he has.

 

So, I don't know why telling George we had dinner was such a big deal.

 

Are you really this oblivious?

 

Stop contacting your ex.

And you either get with George or you don't.

 

You know full well what is going on. And George knew exactly what he was doing when he told your ex that you two had dinner together, and you probably knew as well that it'd get back to him.

 

Stop playing games.

[elaine567]

George sent me his penis pic like a year ago. He knows I don't like George. I only told him because I think he should know what type of friend he has.

 

So, I don't know why telling George we had dinner was such a big deal.

If you don't like George, then why are you going to dinner with him? Redhead14 is correct,

You are playing these two guys against each other and you are dangling the fact you are up for dating other men in front of your ex and driving him crazy. You go for dinner with him, you make out, he says he loves you and you say Blah blah blah, cant you see how callous that sounds?

 

HE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND, as the dumper you either say sorry and get back with him or you split and go no contact. Otherwise it is just being cruel.

[stillafool]

Why are you still speaking to your ex?

[anika99]

Maybe you didn't tell George to speak to your ex about leaving you alone but you didn't tell him not to either which is just as bad.

 

 

Yes I think your ex is justified in his anger. If you wanted him to leave you alone then it was your job to tell him. Letting another man confront your ex that way was cruel, disrespectful, humiliating and hurtful. It also makes no sense as you have been the one agreeing to hanging out with him and making out with him. If you wanted him to leave you alone you wouldn't have been doing those things. If you wanted him to leave you alone you would have been a grown up and told him that and then acted on it. Instead you let George humiliate him.

 

 

Imagine if your ex had done that to you. If instead of being honest and upfront with you he let you believe that he enjoyed seeing you and hanging out but then complained all about it to another woman who wanted to be with him and he let that woman come and tell you to leave him alone. How cruel and nasty would that be? You should have told George in no uncertain terms that you would take care of this situation yourself and let him know that if he disrespected your wishes you would no longer speak to him. I would never do anything so hurtful to any of my exes.

 

 

You are playing games with these guys and I think you rather enjoy the jealous little squabble they are having over you. If your ex is smart he will stick to his guns and send you on your way.

[elaine567]

I dumped him becuse he would say I should be with a younger man and sometimes I felt he was pushing me away. But then he would lure me in. For instance, he was going to visit his daughter out the state and gave me his house key to house sit. And tried to say if I still had pics of us, asking for a kiss,etc.

 

Every time I try to break away, he lures me in...and I love him so I give in.

 

He's a lot older than me so there is no future. I think he wants me to be with a younger man, but I dont think he means it. He himself said before this fiasco, how we get along great when we are together...which I agree.

He is telling you that because he is insecure and he is testing you.

He is twice your age, so he is worried that you don't love him and are only fooling around with him till something better comes along.

He tells you to be with a younger man to test you, and you are supposed to say, "of course not, I only want to be with you."

If you truly love him, let him know, and stop all the games, because in telling you to f*ck off, he is very close to being done with you.

[PogoStick]

The whole thing where one guy contacts another guy to say "stay away from the girl, she doesn't like you bro" is about the poopiest thing possible. It's so high school lame. You allowed it to happen despite how much you're trying to act like you had nothing to do with it.

 

When George said he was going to contact your ex, you should have told him doing so would be the end of your friendship with DOUCHETTE.

[BlueIvy]

If you don't like George, then why are you going to dinner with him? Redhead14 is correct,

You are playing these two guys against each other and you are dangling the fact you are up for dating other men in front of your ex and driving him crazy. You go for dinner with him, you make out, he says he loves you and you say Blah blah blah, cant you see how callous that sounds?

 

HE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND, as the dumper you either say sorry and get back with him or you split and go no contact. Otherwise it is just being cruel.

 

Maybe I didn't write it clear enough but I went to dinner with my ex-boyfriend.

 

George is a mutual friend, more so his than mine. George and I was talking on the phone about what's new in our lives. Then ex name was mentioned and I said we had dinner the other day.

 

George took it upon himself to tell my ex-boyfriend that we proposed that he leaves me alone. Also, I am not dangling other men in front of my ex. As I said, he said I needed a man for stability and tried to ask about my dating life.

 

Anyway, I went to his work and my ex-boyfriend and I had a small chat. He said he is upset because I told his friend, George our business and he though it was just between us two.

 

He did go on and said it's hard for him to say no to me. He then asked if it was hard for me to say no to him. He asked me If I wanted to go to the movies and I said no. I asked if he is testing me, he said no he was trying to make a point.

 

So, I said can we hung each other good bye and he said No, he doesn't wanan go there and it's hard to be around me. He also said we had a really good relationship and he's been in many relationships but ours was very nice. And he said how I am very beautiful, even without makeup. I felt that was kinda ass kissing because last time he said I am plain without makeup...

 

We made small talk about what's new and upcoming plans.

 

But as he walked me out, he asked me one more time if I want to go to movies. I said No again. I said do you want to go and he said, I am not going to answer that. So, I think he did wanna hang out?

 

And that was that.

[fitnessfan365]

Isn't the point of making someone an "ex" to move on from them? Since he's an ex BF, my advice would be to have a "who cares" attitude and just forget about the guy. He's not your problem anymore.

[BlueIvy]

Maybe you didn't tell George to speak to your ex about leaving you alone but you didn't tell him not to either which is just as bad.

 

 

Yes I think your ex is justified in his anger. If you wanted him to leave you alone then it was your job to tell him. Letting another man confront your ex that way was cruel, disrespectful, humiliating and hurtful. It also makes no sense as you have been the one agreeing to hanging out with him and making out with him. If you wanted him to leave you alone you wouldn't have been doing those things. If you wanted him to leave you alone you would have been a grown up and told him that and then acted on it. Instead you let George humiliate him.

 

 

Imagine if your ex had done that to you. If instead of being honest and upfront with you he let you believe that he enjoyed seeing you and hanging out but then complained all about it to another woman who wanted to be with him and he let that woman come and tell you to leave him alone. How cruel and nasty would that be? You should have told George in no uncertain terms that you would take care of this situation yourself and let him know that if he disrespected your wishes you would no longer speak to him. I would never do anything so hurtful to any of my exes.

 

 

You are playing games with these guys and I think you rather enjoy the jealous little squabble they are having over you. If your ex is smart he will stick to his guns and send you on your way.

You're right I should have told him don't say anything.

 

If you read the previous threads, you would know my ex isn't a victim,lol. But of course, you don't have to read it. But the other threads will give background on why certain things happened the way they did.

 

But for future reference, I will never talk about my relationship to other people, makes **** messy.

[PogoStick]

You're not a victim in this either.

[Vercetti]

Dont need a man, well **** off then.

 

Maybe the guy simply had a bit of clarity in the middle of being toyed with. Don't want a guy to ask questions about your personal life, don't have a personal life with the guy. Bloody childish drama crap.

[BlueIvy]

Dont need a man, well **** off then.

 

Maybe the guy simply had a bit of clarity in the middle of being toyed with. Don't want a guy to ask questions about your personal life, don't have a personal life with the guy. Bloody childish drama crap.

 

I didn't toy with him...and who pissed in your coffee? No need to be rude.

[BlueIvy]

You're not a victim in this either.

 

Never said I was.

[BlueIvy]

Isn't the point of making someone an "ex" to move on from them? Since he's an ex BF, my advice would be to have a "who cares" attitude and just forget about the guy. He's not your problem anymore.

 

It's because I still have feelings for him. I've been in other relationships but he's the first man I actually loved. Plus, we always go back and forth.

Usually I end it but he lures me back in. For instance he will ask me to dinner or say I miss you or something...

 

But this time he hasn't tried to lure me back so seems he's serious. However. When I went to his work recently he asked me multiple times to the movies. Idk if he was testing me. Because he said it's hard to say no to me and then asked if it's hard for me. And thats when he asked me to go to movies. I said no each time because I felt he was testing me.

 

But as he walked me out, he asked again and I said no. But I asked if he wants fk go and he said he's not going to answer that.

 

Also, I told him to delete my pics and be said no because no one will believe I was his girlfriend, because im younger and deemed beautiful. He also said how Im besutiful with no makeup and said in terms of chemistry this was the best relationship he had.

 

But it seems he's ignoring me still.

[BlueIvy]

Update: Still ignoring me. I left something behind and told him to look for it. That's only time he replied, but when I called to tell him nvm as I was going to the store to get another piece. He still ignored me. I even said Happy Easter and nothing.

 

I don't want him back though. I guess I am just going through the motions, I miss him but relieved too. I already started dating.

[introverted1]

Unless you enjoy all this drama, just move on. No need to keep contacting the ex.

[BlueIvy]

Unless you enjoy all this drama, just move on. No need to keep contacting the ex.

 

I don't like drama. I'm kind relieved but a bit sad too. I mean I was with him for like 2/1/2 years. I guess I'm use to him trying to win me back. We would break up and makeup up, and he would say he misses me or ask me out to dinner or damn near stalk me,lol. So, I'm surprised this is all it took to be like **** you. It makes me feel like I must not have meant that much. I would think considering about a month ago he asked if we are still going to an out of state trip together and saying he loves me so much.

 

Then again, the relationship should have ended much sooner.

 

I guess I thought we would remain friends because we always said we would. My feelings for him are dwindling. I don't think I'm in love but I still care if that makes sense.

 

And he is still friends with his exes so why not me? I know it's recent but still he act like I did worse thing ever. I know that after a few months of nc I won't have a desire to be friends because once I'm done with someone I'm done with them.

[elaine567]

I don't like drama. I'm kind relieved but a bit sad too. I mean I was with him for like 2/1/2 years. I guess I'm use to him trying to win me back. We would break up and makeup up, and he would say he misses me or ask me out to dinner or damn near stalk me,lol. So, I'm surprised this is all it took to be like **** you. It makes me feel like I must not have meant that much. I would think considering about a month ago he asked if we are still going to an out of state trip together and saying he loves me so much.

 

Then again, the relationship should have ended much sooner.

 

I guess I thought we would remain friends because we always said we would. My feelings for him are dwindling. I don't think I'm in love but I still care if that makes sense.

 

And he is still friends with his exes so why not me? I know it's recent but still he act like I did worse thing ever. I know that after a few months of nc I won't have a desire to be friends because once I'm done with someone I'm done with them.

 

You did the "worst thing ever" because you dumped him and then you toyed with him cruelly.

It was just a huge ego boost for you, you liked he fact he was always trying to win you back and you gave him cause to think he was in with a chance, then you would whip the rug from under his feet.

YOU taunted him with other guys and treated him dreadfully.

So bad that eventually he had to tell you to f*ck off. He doesn't want to be friends with a someone who acted like a b*tch towards him.

Grow up and learn to treat people better.