BlueIvy Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 (edited) So, I made my first thread here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/426490-how-does-he-ignore-me-like-i-meant-nothing So, we had lunch which I initated, he said yes and he said he misses me and thinks about me all the time and if I met someone blah blah.. and to visit him at his office... and he still calls me babe once in a while but maybe he use to it. So, he asks to house sit and gave me house key, he asked for kiss on cheek I declined but gave in, he tricked me and gave me kiss on lips and said I bet you didn't see that coming. in the car he also asked if i miss him and i said no that i moved on and he asked if i have pics of him on phone and i said no and he said that messed up we were together for a year and to take a pic now and i said no. when i asked what he gonna pay me for watching house, one suggestion was in cuddles which i declined. I was like whatever:rolleyes: He took me shopping for watching his house to show thanks and we had dinner at his house and we sat on different sofas but then he asked to come next to me and we snuggled under same blanket and he played with my feet a little. next day I came too cook for him:o to show thanks for him taking me shopping...he said the house key is for me to keep or I could "Return it like last time if I don't want too" he also said i can bring people to the house. he even said its the ultimate trust and blah blah... I was gonna say good bye on way out, I asked for hug instead he said kiss on cheek which I declined but once but I was in playful mood and pretended I was gonna kiss him on lips but he denied me,lol. We are platonic friends and yes I still have feelings for him but I don't want to get back with him. It would be a waste of time on my part considering the large age gap and there really isn't a future. But I guess I don't want to let him go completely because 1. not many friends 2. we had good times. 3. i still want him as a friend. i do know hes lonely because since his teenage son moved out to college he has house to himself and said to him "now he dk what to do with himself. besides son he spent most time with me and doesnt have many friends himself. and he pretty much works, works out and goes home. Edited October 17, 2013 by BlueIvy
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 (edited) So, I made my first thread here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/426490-how-does-he-ignore-me-like-i-meant-nothing So, we had lunch which I initated, he said yes and he said he misses me and thinks about me all the time and if I met someone blah blah.. and to visit him at his office... and he still calls me babe once in a while but maybe he use to it. So, he asks to house sit and gave me house key, he asked for kiss on cheek I declined but gave in, he tricked me and gave me kiss on lips and said I bet you didn't see that coming. in the car he also asked if i miss him and i said no that i moved on and he asked if i have pics of him on phone and i said no and he said that messed up we were together for a year and to take a pic now and i said no. when i asked what he gonna pay me for watching house, one suggestion was in cuddles which i declined. I was like whatever:rolleyes: He took me shopping for watching his house to show thanks and we had dinner at his house and we sat on different sofas but then he asked to come next to me and we snuggled under same blanket and he played with my feet a little. next day I came too cook for him:o to show thanks for him taking me shopping...he said the house key is for me to keep or I could "Return it like last time if I don't want too" he also said i can bring people to the house. he even said its the ultimate trust and blah blah... I was gonna say good bye on way out, I asked for hug instead he said kiss on cheek which I declined but once but I was in playful mood and pretended I was gonna kiss him on lips but he denied me,lol. We are platonic friends and yes I still have feelings for him but I don't want to get back with him. It would be a waste of time on my part considering the large age gap and there really isn't a future. But I guess I don't want to let him go completely because 1. not many friends 2. we had good times. 3. i still want him as a friend. i do know hes lonely because since his teenage son moved out to college he has house to himself and said to him "now he dk what to do with himself. besides son he spent most time with me and doesnt have many friends himself. and he pretty much works, works out and goes home. lol @ guys. The non subtle 1,000 drops that he wants you BAD. The parts in the bold is ALL YOU!! At the same time, quit hanging around playing these games. "I'm gonna act like I'm going to kiss you" and whatever crap that is. Here is something sobering for you: If he KNEW there was NEVER going to be a chance of anything, he wouldnt be friends. He is ONLY friends because he wants you. I think deep down he knows, but you keep lingering around with that small chance of hope. As long as its there, its not going to stop. If you were to date someone else or place your foot FIRMLY down, he would not be friends with you. If you do actually CARE about him, you need to not be friends with him. Don't keep doing this to him. You like him yearning after you, but at the same time, you dont want him. Lol @ girls. It can go both ways. Stop talking to him (at least for awhile), dont do any favors for him, and move on fully. Edited October 17, 2013 by ConfusedHumanBeing 1
Author BlueIvy Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 lol @ guys. The non subtle 1,000 drops that he wants you BAD. The parts in the bold is ALL YOU!! At the same time, quit hanging around playing these games. "I'm gonna act like I'm going to kiss you" and whatever crap that is. Here is something sobering for you: If he KNEW there was NEVER going to be a chance of anything, he wouldnt be friends. He is ONLY friends because he wants you. I think deep down he knows, but you keep lingering around with that small chance of hope. As long as its there, its not going to stop. If you were to date someone else or place your foot FIRMLY down, he would not be friends with you. If you do actually CARE about him, you need to not be friends with him. Don't keep doing this to him. You like him yearning after you, but at the same time, you dont want him. Lol @ girls. It can go both ways. Stop talking to him (at least for awhile), dont do any favors for him, and move on fully. Actually, he got under the same blanket with me. I didn't ask him to get under the blanket. Two, he came and asked me to move over and plop my feet on him and started massaging it slightly, he said he tried to warm it up because I was cold, hence me being under blanket even with heated on. Well, technically he wanted to change dynamics so I said let's end it. I was gonna give him a kiss on the lips but he denied me even though last week he tricked me into kissing him on lips:laugh:. I am not playing games...I feel like he is. Well, he did give me house key, I didn't ask for it. I am contemplating giving it back:confused:. Only reason I want to keep it is to do my homework in silence. Maybe you have a point, I said I am bring food for a co-worker and he asked if it's a male or female. I said female and he didn't probe further. However, when he took me shopping, he said I should get a tongue piercing so I can get a "boyfriend":rolleyes:
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Actually, he got under the same blanket with me. I didn't ask him to get under the blanket. Two, he came and asked me to move over and plop my feet on him and started massaging it slightly, he said he tried to warm it up because I was cold, hence me being under blanket even with heated on. Well, technically he wanted to change dynamics so I said let's end it. I was gonna give him a kiss on the lips but he denied me even though last week he tricked me into kissing him on lips:laugh:. I am not playing games...I feel like he is. Well, he did give me house key, I didn't ask for it. I am contemplating giving it back:confused:. Only reason I want to keep it is to do my homework in silence. Maybe you have a point, I said I am bring food for a co-worker and he asked if it's a male or female. I said female and he didn't probe further. However, when he took me shopping, he said I should get a tongue piercing so I can get a "boyfriend":rolleyes: He knows EXACTLY what he is doing and its something you "say" you dont want. I think everyone can see here what he wants and that is you. He can say "for your boyfriend" or whatever the case, but he is trying to win you over. If you told him you had a BF, I PROMISE you he would probably get hurt, a tad snippy, ask for the key back, then say sorry, then say he messed up and wants you back whatever whatever. The point being here is he knows what he wants (you) and he wont stop. The thing here is I think you actually, deep down, like the attention he is giving you. I think you know what you want (not him). If that is what we are to believe, then you have to make that decision. SOMEONE needs to act like an adult lol. These "will he will I" kissing games and blanket massaging sounds very high school-ish. If you dont want to be with him, dont accept house keys, foot rubs, whatever. 1
Author BlueIvy Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 He knows EXACTLY what he is doing and its something you "say" you dont want. I think everyone can see here what he wants and that is you. He can say "for your boyfriend" or whatever the case, but he is trying to win you over. If you told him you had a BF, I PROMISE you he would probably get hurt, a tad snippy, ask for the key back, then say sorry, then say he messed up and wants you back whatever whatever. The point being here is he knows what he wants (you) and he wont stop. The thing here is I think you actually, deep down, like the attention he is giving you. I think you know what you want (not him). If that is what we are to believe, then you have to make that decision. SOMEONE needs to act like an adult lol. These "will he will I" kissing games and blanket massaging sounds very high school-ish. If you dont want to be with him, dont accept house keys, foot rubs, whatever. Well, if he wanted me, wouldn't he tell me that? Wouldn't he say I want you back? I love him, I really do but his ignoring me which I mention in my first thread turned me off a l lot...also he was fine with the break up, so it's like **** it. I still have feelings for him but I am adjusting. Well, I told my cousin and she said him giving me house key not to make more of it and it's just that he trust me and that her ex did the same thing, however, from what she told me, her ex was and may still be on her. They are friends now but he gives her access to his credit cards,etc even when he had a new gf which makes no sense... Anyway, I appreciate your advice, I really do but you act like I am the one pulling the strings and he is some poor fellow and it's not like that at all. He is ok being friends. I don't know, I feel I am getting mixed signals. Like for instane the meal I cooked for him yesterday he said was really good and better than last time. I reminded him the last meal he claimed to like it and he said he was just being nice because I was his girlfriend.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Well, if he wanted me, wouldn't he tell me that? Wouldn't he say I want you back? I love him, I really do but his ignoring me which I mention in my first thread turned me off a l lot...also he was fine with the break up, so it's like **** it. I still have feelings for him but I am adjusting. Well, I told my cousin and she said him giving me house key not to make more of it and it's just that he trust me and that her ex did the same thing, however, from what she told me, her ex was and may still be on her. They are friends now but he gives her access to his credit cards,etc even when he had a new gf which makes no sense... Anyway, I appreciate your advice, I really do but you act like I am the one pulling the strings and he is some poor fellow and it's not like that at all. He is ok being friends. I don't know, I feel I am getting mixed signals. Like for instane the meal I cooked for him yesterday he said was really good and better than last time. I reminded him the last meal he claimed to like it and he said he was just being nice because I was his girlfriend. You are saying YOU DONT WANT TO BE WITH HIM then QUESTION everything!!! Whats the point of all of this?? It should be all moot anyways!! His 900 questions says something but obviously afraid of the answer SINCE YOU KEEP SAYING NO TO STUFF (IE I dont miss you, saying no to "paying in cuddles" which is very childish lol) Just BE an adult here and ask wtf he is doing and ask what he is feeling. I'm sure he'll tell you and then you can tell him exactly whats going in your head. This cat and mouse issue is for the birds and middle schoolers. Women up, tell him what he is doing and go from there.
Criticality Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 This guy obviously wants you. He might not say it out loud, and might never say it out loud, but all the other things he says and his actions tell otherwise. He's probably only saying he wants to be friends with you cause he can hope he can change your mind. So what now? If you don't want him as a boyfriend, cut contact, give him back his key and forget the friendship. He isn't capable of it, and its not fair to him. If you maybe want more, say it outright and ask him how he feels... 2
flight E Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 I agree that he seems to want you. I will only give my key to show one thing. My teritory is yours. But never the less don't ask him anything its strange how little things can turn to bigdeals in dating. Just have fun and don't get too invested if not you will cut across as clingy. Am sure you will be ok in the long run. Don't shut your sights to other guys though have a life and the attraction will grow if that is what you want 1
barky2 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Does he want you? Sure Is it going to be a hit and quit? Maybe Does he want to reconcile ? Maybe My advice, talk to him about it, and if you decide to try again KEEP IT OUT OF THE BEDROOM until you find out his true intentions. He may just want a quickie If you lay down the law and say no bumpin uglies for a month and he doesn't respect it or give you some bs " oh I want to show you how much you mean to me " blah blah you know what he wants. Tread very lightly and carefully,it's your heart. Barky 2
Author BlueIvy Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 He knows EXACTLY what he is doing and its something you "say" you dont want. I think everyone can see here what he wants and that is you. He can say "for your boyfriend" or whatever the case, but he is trying to win you over. If you told him you had a BF, I PROMISE you he would probably get hurt, a tad snippy, ask for the key back, then say sorry, then say he messed up and wants you back whatever whatever. The point being here is he knows what he wants (you) and he wont stop. The thing here is I think you actually, deep down, like the attention he is giving you. I think you know what you want (not him). If that is what we are to believe, then you have to make that decision. SOMEONE needs to act like an adult lol. These "will he will I" kissing games and blanket massaging sounds very high school-ish. If you dont want to be with him, dont accept house keys, foot rubs, whatever. Well, I am half his age but I feel like I am more of the adult. When he is upset, he ignores me instead of communicating. Do I like the attention? Not really. I mean I am not jumping for joy here, it just leaves me perplexed. Because he was fine with break up. The thing is because of age difference, he was insecure. He wondered "Why a young beautiful woman is interested in a older man?" He also admitted he felt insecure about sexual satisfying me. Last month, he said we need to change dynamics. He said "Are you just not meeting young guys or are you rebuffing them because I don't get how a beautiful young woman...we can still hang out, cuddle but no sex" I replied that makes no sense to "transition" as he said but to cut off colod turkey, no cuddling or anything because how will we move on and he said, "Who said we are breaking up?" Then I made my point again and he seemed to agreed but next week he asked me to hang out at his house and watch football with his friend. his friend left he called a early night I went in and seduced him and we made out and had oral..." Next week we hung out again, we said hurtful words to each other and he ignored me for like 5 days and I broke silence by offering lunch, he said yes and that's when he said he misses me and thinks about me all the time. We communicate ocassionally, mainly through texting as opposed to when we were together, we would mainly make phone. He tells me in one breath to put myself out and find younger man and denying my "play kiss" and then the next moment he is giving me house key and sitting on same sofa as me and still calls me babe once in awhile. How can I not be confused? And I think I am a bit hurt how he lets his insecurity play a big part in the end of the relationship. Him saying this was one of best relationships how im the prettiest woman he's been with and how nice i am. how smart i am and how compatible we are and him even saying if we were closer to age he would marry me in a heart beat to then being...or seeming fine with the break up. so i think makes sense i am confused, i left some details out but he is giving mixed messages. Does he want you? Sure Is it going to be a hit and quit? Maybe Does he want to reconcile ? Maybe My advice, talk to him about it, and if you decide to try again KEEP IT OUT OF THE BEDROOM until you find out his true intentions. He may just want a quickie If you lay down the law and say no bumpin uglies for a month and he doesn't respect it or give you some bs " oh I want to show you how much you mean to me " blah blah you know what he wants. Tread very lightly and carefully,it's your heart. Barky Well, we haven't had intercourse since late august and last time we had oral was last month. he never made a sexual move on me since break up then again i initated most of sexual contact because i have higher drive and he was insecure about pleasing me. so i def. don't think he wants to get laid, well he probably does but i don't feel like that is his primary intent. i feel he give me mixed messages that he wants me to move on but then i feel he wants me. i don't why i care because i shouldn't.
Author BlueIvy Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 I agree that he seems to want you. I will only give my key to show one thing. My teritory is yours. But never the less don't ask him anything its strange how little things can turn to bigdeals in dating. Just have fun and don't get too invested if not you will cut across as clingy. Am sure you will be ok in the long run. Don't shut your sights to other guys though have a life and the attraction will grow if that is what you want Yeah, but it's like what's the point after we break up? I told my cousin and she said don't make it more than what it is, it just means he trusts you and she said her ex gave her a key to his apt after the fact. But yesterday ex made it a point to say, "Don't you think it's cool I have given you house key, I know some guys who wouldn't even give a key to their fiance...you have access to all my materials,etc" I didn't reply but he did give me his house key before and actually always wanted to give me one but I gave it back because we broke up and I was mad. Yeah, it's best for me to move on. I am in my 20s, he is a little more than double my age. It's just hard meeting decent men. I went on a date after we broke up before with a body builder, cute and he made me laugh but I could tell he was a player. Then a few weeks ago, a man hit on me in library I wasn't taking it seriously so gave email. He was cute but asked to "chill at his house" I said I am not that type of girl and he backtracked and said "a date" but I was like whatever. Hard to meet decent men. I am not necessarily looking but I am open to dating. This guy obviously wants you. He might not say it out loud, and might never say it out loud, but all the other things he says and his actions tell otherwise. He's probably only saying he wants to be friends with you cause he can hope he can change your mind. So what now? If you don't want him as a boyfriend, cut contact, give him back his key and forget the friendship. He isn't capable of it, and its not fair to him. If you maybe want more, say it outright and ask him how he feels... Well, he was fine with break up and he seems fine with us being friends. I don't think its fair to me ...he seems fine with being friends, I still want him in my life and I think he wants me in his life too.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 No more overanalyzing....just ask him.
Author BlueIvy Posted October 18, 2013 Author Posted October 18, 2013 (edited) No more overanalyzing....just ask him. I am not going to ask because IDK...I guess I don't want answers:confused:. But anyway he hit me up other day, I was in class...I had extra food asked if he wanted some...he said yeah I came to his house and we talked about out famiies,etc, just updating on our life. Tnen I said I am sleeping over and he said in a different bedroom because I took too much space, which is true, but I didn't listen and slept in same bed. He tried a few times to intiate doing intimate things to me and I denied him and he said "Good, I am cured of my pedophilia" He is NOT a pedophile but because he's twice my age he felt guilty at times having sex with me...and he went on to say he was frustrated that he felt he couldnt satisfy me. he also said i'm young and beautiful and he dk what i saw in him in the 1st place and then i told him why i was attracted to him. But then things happened...and then he tried to deny because he said then he won't have control and we will get back together again...but we eventually end up making love:bunny:. he also mentioned i was the best lover he had. he also said "you still love me? don't you" which i didn't reply. He said he wants me in his arms and if his smell and touch feel the same...we didn't talk our status but i consider myself single. i dont want fwb and don't see it as such because we still care for each other and our relationship had a foundation of friendship. but i do think this was a fluke and even though i did seduce him later on, i mean he was the one who suggested we do intimate things . and of course he still calls me "baby and babe" in the am when he came back after he ran errands we talked some more about various topics then he went to go out and i went to work. Edited October 18, 2013 by BlueIvy
Simon Phoenix Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 Congrats, you've become a fu*k buddy it seems. Enjoy.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 I am not going to ask because IDK...I guess I don't want answers:confused:. But anyway he hit me up other day, I was in class...I had extra food asked if he wanted some...he said yeah I came to his house and we talked about out famiies,etc, just updating on our life. Tnen I said I am sleeping over and he said in a different bedroom because I took too much space, which is true, but I didn't listen and slept in same bed. He tried a few times to intiate doing intimate things to me and I denied him and he said "Good, I am cured of my pedophilia" He is NOT a pedophile but because he's twice my age he felt guilty at times having sex with me...and he went on to say he was frustrated that he felt he couldnt satisfy me. he also said i'm young and beautiful and he dk what i saw in him in the 1st place and then i told him why i was attracted to him. But then things happened...and then he tried to deny because he said then he won't have control and we will get back together again...but we eventually end up making love:bunny:. he also mentioned i was the best lover he had. he also said "you still love me? don't you" which i didn't reply. He said he wants me in his arms and if his smell and touch feel the same...we didn't talk our status but i consider myself single. i dont want fwb and don't see it as such because we still care for each other and our relationship had a foundation of friendship. but i do think this was a fluke and even though i did seduce him later on, i mean he was the one who suggested we do intimate things . and of course he still calls me "baby and babe" in the am when he came back after he ran errands we talked some more about various topics then he went to go out and i went to work. I didnt read any of this. I just saw the first part and stopped reading. This is why you cant have nice things 1
Author BlueIvy Posted October 18, 2013 Author Posted October 18, 2013 Congrats, you've become a fu*k buddy it seems. Enjoy. I don't consider myself one and besides it was a fluke. But thanks for the kind words.
Author BlueIvy Posted October 18, 2013 Author Posted October 18, 2013 I didnt read any of this. I just saw the first part and stopped reading. This is why you cant have nice things I really do appreciate your comments but we have been on and off. But you know what? I'm gonna ask him tomorrow when I'm free what does he want from me and take it from there. Even though we were intimate, I don't think he sees me as a **** buddy seeing that we didn't have sex as much as I desired...I mean technically I initiated it and he didn't even want me to sleep in same bed. My drive is much higher than his and because of his insecurity he didn't initiate sex as much as me.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 I really do appreciate your comments but we have been on and off. But you know what? I'm gonna ask him tomorrow when I'm free what does he want from me and take it from there. Even though we were intimate, I don't think he sees me as a **** buddy seeing that we didn't have sex as much as I desired...I mean technically I initiated it and he didn't even want me to sleep in same bed. My drive is much higher than his and because of his insecurity he didn't initiate sex as much as me. Just ask him and all of the wonderment will be answered. You can question until the cows come home, but you wont know until you ask. 1
Author BlueIvy Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 (edited) Just ask him and all of the wonderment will be answered. You can question until the cows come home, but you wont know until you ask. Okay, so I don't know where to start and I don't even remember. But we were intimate and yes I did initiate it. I asked him what does he see me as and he said FWB so I got mad and I am like really? And then he asked me what do I see this as? And I said IDK what to call it but I don't see it as FWB because it just sounds like there is no feelings involved and I think we both still care about each other. We cuddled more than we had sex. It's not like we do it and I leave. But then in the am he was going to work I said who is he texting his girlfriend and then he said she's here aka me. And later on, on same day? I told him to tell his girlfriend I said hi and he said so-so aka me said hi. So, it's like when he said it I wasn't even like for joy because I was obviously joking and I think he is too. I think later on, or next day I said it was messed up for him to refer to me like that and he said it's messed up that I said I am only sleeping with him to keep my count low and blah blah. I didn't dispute that. I still have his house key, he never asked for it back. But he does want me to be with a younger man because he mentioned I should give so-so a chance or if I am going to date him. I still care for him but my feelings aren't as strong because before we use to hang out every day and talk on phone every day, and now we see each other 1-2x a week. We also don't talk and text as much. I still have his house key. But then he will ask me let's get lunch together and told me to join his gym. And today we talked and he asked my schedule and says I should visit him sometimes because he can't visit me. (I live at home with my fam and haven't told them about him) I did meet his family and friends though. But what's weird is when I was talking on phone with him I said I was going to cook but my mom is cooking and he said I can come over his house to cook because his oven is free. And I said "Maybe next time" and he said, "Whoa, whoa I didn't mean anything by it, it was just a gracious act" I am like "you think I took it as more?" I mean that was weird behavior because I didn't want to cook at his house, which he is not even home. It's like what way could I take it? Also, on phone I said I can't wait to meet a guy who loves me, respects me,etc and he said "weren't we all those things?" And in person I talked about how people expect because I am beautiful I am not suppose to be single but I said it's hard meeting young men who have something going for himself then he started saying he had all those traits. And he said the only thing is the age difference and he said something about when I am 30, like when I am 30 he will feel better about it. IDK what he meant by that I do but I am like um ok. He also admitted that he misses me a little bit. I didn't reply back. When we hang out/go out, I almost feel like it's the same but then I know it isn't and I use to care but now it's like IDK how to describe it. He also said he thinks I still love him but he thinks I am making strides to get over him but he doesn't think I will until I meet someone else...I didn't reply to that either. I don't like talking about feelings and I don't see the point in telling my feelings as if it's going to do anything to benefit the friendship. But I know I don't feel as strong because I am actual open now to meeting younger guys my age and if I meet one and he's a good guy, I will take a chance. I guess for the moment he's a place holder. Edited November 7, 2013 by BlueIvy
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Okay, so I don't know where to start and I don't even remember. But we were intimate and yes I did initiate it. I asked him what does he see me as and he said FWB so I got mad and I am like really? And then he asked me what do I see this as? And I said IDK what to call it but I don't see it as FWB because it just sounds like there is no feelings involved and I think we both still care about each other. We cuddled more than we had sex. It's not like we do it and I leave. But then in the am he was going to work I said who is he texting his girlfriend and then he said she's here aka me. And later on, on same day? I told him to tell his girlfriend I said hi and he said so-so aka me said hi. So, it's like when he said it I wasn't even like for joy because I was obviously joking and I think he is too. I think later on, or next day I said it was messed up for him to refer to me like that and he said it's messed up that I said I am only sleeping with him to keep my count low and blah blah. I didn't dispute that. I still have his house key, he never asked for it back. But he does want me to be with a younger man because he mentioned I should give so-so a chance or if I am going to date him. I still care for him but my feelings aren't as strong because before we use to hang out every day and talk on phone every day, and now we see each other 1-2x a week. We also don't talk and text as much. I still have his house key. But then he will ask me let's get lunch together and told me to join his gym. And today we talked and he asked my schedule and says I should visit him sometimes because he can't visit me. (I live at home with my fam and haven't told them about him) I did meet his family and friends though. But what's weird is when I was talking on phone with him I said I was going to cook but my mom is cooking and he said I can come over his house to cook because his oven is free. And I said "Maybe next time" and he said, "Whoa, whoa I didn't mean anything by it, it was just a gracious act" I am like "you think I took it as more?" I mean that was weird behavior because I didn't want to cook at his house, which he is not even home. It's like what way could I take it? Also, on phone I said I can't wait to meet a guy who loves me, respects me,etc and he said "weren't we all those things?" And in person I talked about how people expect because I am beautiful I am not suppose to be single but I said it's hard meeting young men who have something going for himself then he started saying he had all those traits. And he said the only thing is the age difference and he said something about when I am 30, like when I am 30 he will feel better about it. IDK what he meant by that I do but I am like um ok. He also admitted that he misses me a little bit. I didn't reply back. When we hang out/go out, I almost feel like it's the same but then I know it isn't and I use to care but now it's like IDK how to describe it. He also said he thinks I still love him but he thinks I am making strides to get over him but he doesn't think I will until I meet someone else...I didn't reply to that either. I don't like talking about feelings and I don't see the point in telling my feelings as if it's going to do anything to benefit the friendship. But I know I don't feel as strong because I am actual open now to meeting younger guys my age and if I meet one and he's a good guy, I will take a chance. I guess for the moment he's a place holder. .....I'm not sure how to even respond to this
Author BlueIvy Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 .....I'm not sure how to even respond to this Yeah, me neither. My head hurts... So, today he called me to hang out and see what I was up to. I said before work, I have lunch with a friend. And he asked if it's a female or male friend and I said female friend from high school and he said its good I'm reconnecting with people. He said he came back from lunch with his young adult child and I said why wasn't I invited. I was joking because obviously I had plans and worked later and he said it was father child bonding. So I said am I not your daughter and he said I'm his friend. The phone call ended with him saying I should call sometime so we can hang out or go out.
xUnknown Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 So he's making you dance to his tune. You're dangling on his string. When he wants you, he'll reel you in. When he's bored, he'll drop you. How do you feel about that? I didn't really read the first part of the story on Page 1, but I think She has absolutely no clue what she wants. She doesn't call it FWB, but she mentioned I guess for the moment he's a place holder. Sounds like a FWB to me. She is obviously flustered by this fellow and can't make up what she wants. I think, she wants to be with him. Shes just playing mind games just as he is playing with her. They're both passing the ball back and forth to figure out who is going to make what call. 2
Author BlueIvy Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 So he's making you dance to his tune. You're dangling on his string. When he wants you, he'll reel you in. When he's bored, he'll drop you. How do you feel about that? I get what you are saying. I kinda feel like he maybe he never really cared about me at all to play these games, giving mixed messages. I'm starting to not care so I don't really call anymore or text him. I feel like if he cared he would be say I want this to work instead of letting age being a factor. Because we are still doing the same things when we were an item so why not go back to that girlfriend boyfriend title? I mean he would say this was a good relationship minus the age disparity so I feel it wasn't love if you let that take affect. At the same time there is no future to it so I don't want to be back with him especially since he didn't fight for it. I knew that from the beginning but Initially I was going with the flow. I guess I still interest him because I care and probably because of bored. I guess part of the confusion for me is him wanting me to move in, giving me house key and introducing me to his friends and family. To wanting to meet my family which I never did because the culture is protective and kinda old fashioned and my family wouldn't be supportive. I told my cousin and sister though. And also I feel like if there is no future then why introduce him to my family. Even with friends I don't bring anyone around my family's and then it's like oh what are you doing with me you're young and beautiful. And would talk about how he's insecure when making love to me hence me initiating sex most of the time. I don't see him as using me for sex because I tend to initiate it as I said he's insecure. I actually went to his room when he told me I can sleep in another room, I guess stupid.. But I'm starting to withdraw because I feel like even though I have needs why give my body to a man who is not my man anymore? And Who I don't feel as strongly for? I also contemplating giving house key back because I like never use it and it's like I feel giving house key will kinda symbolize I'm completely over it and I don't really see the point of me having access to his house when I'm his ex. I kinda lost a bit of respect of him I wonder if that's why lately I curse him out because he frustrates me with mixed messages.
Author BlueIvy Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 I didn't really read the first part of the story on Page 1, but I think She has absolutely no clue what she wants. She doesn't call it FWB, but she mentioned . Sounds like a FWB to me. She is obviously flustered by this fellow and can't make up what she wants. I think, she wants to be with him. Shes just playing mind games just as he is playing with her. They're both passing the ball back and forth to figure out who is going to make what call. I think if you read from page one on you can get a sense of why and how better...I don't see it as mind games on my end, I am pretty straight forward. I feel he has been playing games. I mentioned how he went out I town and asked me to house sit, which he shouldn't have asked me and he said how he misses me and if I miss him. And asking me to join his gym and I remember he said he cried over me and if I go out he asked if it's a date. And asked basically if I still have pics of him on my phone and all this stuff. And even after we broke up he still wanted to meet my sister. And then joking I'm your grill friend again but when he's serious says I'm his friend. And asking me why I don't visit him at work anymore which is only a few mins away... And you say I still love him yet refers me as a friend. That's mind games which is frustrating before I use to be upfront but not as much because I don't wanna put myself out there and at this point, I don't see the point of such. But i know I'm staying to withdraw because I don't really call or text and when he says he misses me it doesn't excite or anything I'm more indifferent. I'm not saying I don't care about him still but the feelings are fading. I use to visit him at his office not anymor, use to bring or cool food for him not anymore. Use to get mad if he didn't call not anymore. I'm actually considering going cold turkey so that there's absolutely no feelings left. I feel like he's trying to keep me around with the games... I guess I did want him but logically I'm a lot younger I need to be with a man I can have a future with. Also, seeing his immaturity has turned me off. I guess I'm around because so he can be a transition because now I can actually see myself with other men. His friend who is a snake because he tried to get at me thinks he is whipped and loves me but doesn't know what to do. I don't know about that. I guess it's confusing because I feel like its one foot in and one foot out.
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