GB25 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I met this girl online about a week ago...we have been literally texting all day for 1 week now and have been getting along great. She lives in the suburbs and I live in the city. In my city there is A TON to do, in the burbs not so much. Anyways we made plans for her to take the train down tonight and hang out go to dinner, get some drinks etc..and she has a friend that lives in the city so she was gonna crash there. So Im thinking all is good. Then about an hour ago i get a text from her: " ok change of plans, can you come here instead?" I was like..you want me to come to the burbs? I asked why. Her response " because its just way easier for me that way" I asked what we will do there she said " hang out at my brothers house with him and his gf and order a pizza" Now im not trying to be a d.ick but first time I meet a girl im really not trying to hang out with her brother and his gf watching movies and eating pizza. I get we never met and she might be scared/nervous to meet me, but to cancel last second like that is kinda rude IMO. Is it mean of me to say I dont wanna go? Like I said I dont wanna drive 40 min to the burbs eat pizza then drive home. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Coup La-La Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 you're not being mean, but you're not being smart. Women can be very weary of people they meet online, remember there is one story after another talking about horror stories from women who got murdered and/or raped by men they met online. Just go up there and get to say hello. Who knows, maybe if you make a good impression her brother's GF will put in a good word for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I don't understand OLD, I just know it sucks for the most part. But if someone told me I had to meet a stranger off the internet and go to their house and eat pizza with their family I would tell them "you're fecking crazy." Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 No, you're not being a jerk. The only reason she has given is that it's easier for her. Well thanks for that. Go suck eggs, why doncha? Agree. Then just don't turn up. If she texts you to ask why,just explain it was easier for you not to go, but easier to find a more enthusiastic date where you were. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GB25 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 I don't understand OLD, I just know it sucks for the most part. But if someone told me I had to meet a stranger off the internet and go to their house and eat pizza with their family I would tell them "you're fecking crazy." My plans were fun, we were gonna go out downtown to dinner and kinda hop around, I had it all planned..then she says drive to the burbs and eat pizza with her brother of all people..i mean really?? Link to post Share on other sites
jeni4566 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Since this is the first meeting, find a "mid-point" place that's neutral for both of you. Don't make it an overnight trip either. Too early for that. Also, you want to consider if the distance is a problem for you. Sometimes, it's easier to date others who live closer by. Fewer problems such as these to worry about. Link to post Share on other sites
StarsOnFire Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I met this girl online about a week ago...we have been literally texting all day for 1 week now and have been getting along great. She lives in the suburbs and I live in the city. In my city there is A TON to do, in the burbs not so much. Anyways we made plans for her to take the train down tonight and hang out go to dinner, get some drinks etc..and she has a friend that lives in the city so she was gonna crash there. So Im thinking all is good. Then about an hour ago i get a text from her: " ok change of plans, can you come here instead?" I was like..you want me to come to the burbs? I asked why. Her response " because its just way easier for me that way" I asked what we will do there she said " hang out at my brothers house with him and his gf and order a pizza" Now im not trying to be a d.ick but first time I meet a girl im really not trying to hang out with her brother and his gf watching movies and eating pizza. I get we never met and she might be scared/nervous to meet me, but to cancel last second like that is kinda rude IMO. Is it mean of me to say I dont wanna go? Like I said I dont wanna drive 40 min to the burbs eat pizza then drive home. Honestly, I'd feel super weird on a first date meeting someones family members. I'd just ask to reschedule, or I'd google her town and find something else to do. Even if you guys just go out to a restaurant there, would be better than watching movies w/her brother and his gf. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GB25 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 yeah I am gonna tell her no and if she wants to reschedule thats cool, if not then ok. First time we meet id rather have it be a one on one to get to know her before I hang out with her friggin brother. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 You're not wrong for not wanting to go to her and meet her brother, but I don't think it's fair to expect her to make the trip to you either. Find a neutral spot in the middle, and don't have it involve excess alcohol so that you an each easily return home. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GB25 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 You're not wrong for not wanting to go to her and meet her brother, but I don't think it's fair to expect her to make the trip to you either. Find a neutral spot in the middle, and don't have it involve excess alcohol so that you an each easily return home. She has a friend that lives in the city that she was gonna crash at- its in my original post Link to post Share on other sites
Author GB25 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 her friend got in her ear and told her that she shouldnt go...so lame Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 She has a friend that lives in the city that she was gonna crash at- its in my original post Doesn't matter. Having her make that trip to you, for YOUR convenience, isn't any better or fair than having you go to her. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I met this girl online about a week ago...we have been literally texting all day for 1 week now and have been getting along great. She lives in the suburbs and I live in the city. In my city there is A TON to do, in the burbs not so much. Anyways we made plans for her to take the train down tonight and hang out go to dinner, get some drinks etc..and she has a friend that lives in the city so she was gonna crash there. So Im thinking all is good. Then about an hour ago i get a text from her: " ok change of plans, can you come here instead?" I was like..you want me to come to the burbs? I asked why. Her response " because its just way easier for me that way" I asked what we will do there she said " hang out at my brothers house with him and his gf and order a pizza" Now im not trying to be a d.ick but first time I meet a girl im really not trying to hang out with her brother and his gf watching movies and eating pizza. I get we never met and she might be scared/nervous to meet me, but to cancel last second like that is kinda rude IMO. Is it mean of me to say I dont wanna go? Like I said I dont wanna drive 40 min to the burbs eat pizza then drive home. Why are you texting for a week before you even met? Then when she changes plans you ask what you are going to do? You're the guy, that's your call. You should have made a date that was convenient for both from the get-go, not text for a week, and ask her to come up with the plan. Girl has lost interest IMHO. Link to post Share on other sites
KraftDinner Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I'd be upset if I were you. Your plans sound super fun! Can I go in her place? Just kidding. Her plans sound SO lame. Maybe she's a lame/boring person. My take: she lets her friends influence her decisions, she's rude and cancels with ST notice AND she's boring. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 (edited) Then when she changes plans you ask what you are going to do? You're the guy, that's your call. Oh please, that's so lame.... this is 2013, not 1952..... You should have made a date that was convenient for both from the get-go, not text for a week, and ask her to come up with the plan. Girl has lost interest IMHO. Read the original post. They made the plan together. She's the one who then tried to move the goal-posts...... Edited May 3, 2013 by TaraMaiden Link to post Share on other sites
Author GB25 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 Oh please, that's so lame.... this is 2013, not 1952..... Agreed, and I was the one who made the plans I planned it all out and she agreed then bailed... So anyways, now she asks if she can come tomorrow instead bc she already made plans with her brothers gf. So when she cancelled on me she committed to her brothers gf regardless of my answer..lol Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Oh please, that's so lame.... this is 2013, not 1952..... Are you telling us your age again? You left out the first sentence when you quoted me. Texting for a week when they have not even met (unnecessary). Something with the texting made her change her mind. IMHO, she changed plans to find a round about way to blow him off. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 "I'd rather not play second fiddle to someone you pre-planned to mess me about for. Thanks, but no thanks. Have a nice life." Link to post Share on other sites
Author GB25 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 Are you telling us your age again? You left out the first sentence when you quoted me. Texting for a week when they have not even met (unnecessary). Something with the texting made her change her mind. IMHO, she changed plans to find a round about way to blow him off. blow me off?? shes calling and texting me now asking to come tomorrow..do you read posts above? or just comment without reading anything? Im honestly asking seriously not trying to be a d.ick bc everytime you posted so far you missed info that was clear in posts above Link to post Share on other sites
Author GB25 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 "I'd rather not play second fiddle to someone you pre-planned to mess me about for. Thanks, but no thanks. Have a nice life." yeah i havent answered her yet and i think my silence will speak for itself I agree..if shes nervous to meet in person then she shouldnt be online trying to meet people..oh well Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 blow me off?? shes calling and texting me now asking to come tomorrow..do you read posts above? or just comment without reading anything? Im honestly asking seriously not trying to be a d.ick bc everytime you posted so far you missed info that was clear in posts above I only read your OP. You posted that after my first post to you. I'm just giving another perspective. Do whatever you want. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Are you telling us your age again? Nearly. 5 years out. You left out the first sentence when you quoted me. Texting for a week when they have not even met (unnecessary). Something with the texting made her change her mind. Rubbish. That's the preferred way to communicate nowadays. Not that I approve; I'm convinced that with the continuation of evolution, we will gradually lose use of our vocal chords and grow extra thumbs.... but texting is how people talk, so it is what it is.... IMHO, she changed plans to find a round about way to blow him off. No; it could be a safety issue, it could be sheer selfishness. The fact she's proposed delaying the date now, is an indication she's still willing and able. But not very respectful, and quite rude, really. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Nearly. 5 years out. Rubbish. That's the preferred way to communicate nowadays. Not that I approve; I'm convinced that with the continuation of evolution, we will gradually lose use of our vocal chords and grow extra thumbs.... but texting is how people talk, so it is what it is.... No; it could be a safety issue, it could be sheer selfishness. The fact she's proposed delaying the date now, is an indication she's still willing and able. But not very respectful, and quite rude, really. awww Tara, you know I love you. I always appreciate your opinions. ISeems like OP agrees, so I'll leave it at that. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I only read your OP. You posted that after my first post to you. I'm just giving another perspective. Do whatever you want. Your perspective would be far more useful if you'd actually bothered to read the thread, and commented on content rather than initial information. That's like saying "I decided to bomb the first map coordinate you gave us, in spite of the fact that the enemy is still progressing along the road, and is now 5 miles ahead...." Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 (edited) Your perspective would be far more useful if you'd actually bothered to read the thread, and commented on content rather than initial information. That's like saying "I decided to bomb the first map coordinate you gave us, in spite of the fact that the enemy is still progressing along the road, and is now 5 miles ahead...." Duly noted. All the best to OP. In regard to changing plans, I was talking about when she changed them the second time (not the first). Edited May 3, 2013 by TheFinalWord Link to post Share on other sites
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