Something there? Or am I overthinking?

[Hopeless13]

Hi, I wholeheartedly apologise for the length of this, but any help would be highly appreciated, I've not been in such a situation before, and I'm confused beyond belief. I tried forgetting about it, but it's got to that stage where I'm growing frustrated with myself.

 

I have this friend, we'll call her Lisa. Now me and Lisa have only been friends for a year, but we've become incredibly close. And it's not the kind of friendship where you only talk occasionally, it's the kind of friendship that when we don't see each other, we're always emailing, for hours on end, conversation for conversations sake. We have a lot in common, more than most, and are on the same wavelength, politically, philosophically, everything else. About the conversations: it's the way we talk, we're both flirtatious in nature, but when we talk, there's a much deeper undertone, it's the usage of pet names, Lisa randomly telling me about her sexual habits, there's a lot of sentimentality there? For example; we'll talk about hugging, and she'll ask me to never let me go? I remember one time we were talking about doing something, and I asked her to "hold me to that" and she simply replied "I'll hold you anywhere ". At one point, she used to find random images/gifs and link me to them, and say that that's my present, only, it would be from her?

 

Now when we meet? Either, I've not had friends like her before, or it's beyond the stage of friendship? I don't even know what to say, really. There'll be times when we'll be watching a movie, and we're cuddling and stroking each other. Or we'll just be sat down, she'll have her hand in mine, and I'm just caressing it, at her request. And sometimes she'll lie herself stomach down, and she'll ask me to straddle her back and massage her head, shoulders, neck, back...and the sounds she makes, I'd say she definitely enjoys it. It's the small things; the gentle touches here and there, we'll play footsie when we're out eating. And not to sound big-headed, but when we're out, or if I'm wearing something more flattering, she checks me out! And when I catch her eye, she'll smirk, then look away. We *look* at each other, for example, we'll be out eating, and it honestly does feel like nothing else is happening in the world, that it's just me and her. It feels like she's analysing me? She'll flick her eyes to my lips, or lower, then back up.

 

And four things that I'll add which make me think:

- Her colleagues thought we were dating?

- We were out last night, with another friend, and this friend, Claire, said that we should "hook up already". We were all pretty drunk, and I'm sat there arm around Lisa, playing with her hair. We were all over each other all night, legs over knees, cuddling, stroking, you name it. My head nuzzled in her neck. Had we both leant in one inch, we would have kissed. And then Claire leans over the top, points to Lisa and mouths to me "she wants you". And I'm playfully teasing Lisa about this, and she says no she doesn't. Claire asks us if we've ever hooked up/made out, and we both instantly reply no...we actually haven't. But I'm confused...why would her friend, randomly tell me that she wants me? We were discussing this walking home, and she said she was annoyed that Claire felt as if that just because we're two gay women, we automatically should hook up?

- When I've gone out previously, and I've drank too much and made out/kissed other people, we'll talk about this, and she'll always say "But, there's this wrong with them" almost as if she's trying to put me off them? I don't know if there's a hint of jealousy there, or she's just being a good friend?

- And the kicker. She says she likes someone else. And I'm not just saying this, but this someone else, does nothing but treat her badly, completely disregards her feelings, and treats their friendship like a convenience.

 

I fell for her own my own merit; not because of all of the above, but because she is my type, to a tee, everything I'd look for in a partner, she is it, and I tried fighting it for the longest time, and everything that's above, has made me think, is there something on her half too? But since Claire's "she wants you" comment, I won't say clarified it, but given me more proof that there may be? Because I'm really failing to see why a friend, would say such a thing out of the blue?

 

In my head, it feels like we've both friend zoned each other! Haha!

 

Thanks for reading this far, and if anyone has anything to say, it would be appreciated. I don't know if I'm being completely irrational? Or whatever else. If you were in this situation, what would you do? Do I say something? Do I turn up the flirting another notch? Do I make a move? I'm tearing my hair out.

[CudLRoo]

Aw, man, read my thread on a similar matter....it's loooooooong.

[Hopeless13]

Would you mind linking me? I'm new to this forum malarkey and don't know how to find it.

 

I really don't understand women.

[CudLRoo]

Here ya go!:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/376910-uh-god-no-contact#post4651508

 

It's very different in certain ways to your tale but it might help you to avoid some mistakes/agonies.

 

PS: I sorta messed the link up, just scroll to the top to get the start.