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Are Some People, Despite Looking Good On Paper, Just not Relationship Material?


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 24th January 2012, 5:21 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by Star Gazer View Post
I find it a little disturbing that you're saying SHE might not be relationship material.
This.

She sounds like she is relationship material, it's just that there was no chemistry between you.
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Old 24th January 2012, 7:56 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by Anela View Post
This.

She sounds like she is relationship material, it's just that there was no chemistry between you.
Read the original post carefully. The OP makes it very clear that this is a repeating pattern for the girl in question with men in general.

I have an acquaintance who is the male version of the girl described by the OP. Tall, good looking, a lawyer, friendly personality and seems like a genuinely good guy...you'd think women would be all over him yet they don't see him as a catch for some reason. Must be pretty frustrating to have it all on paper but not have it translate into real-world success.
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Old 25th January 2012, 6:46 PM   #33
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For me, I could never do such a thing. If I met my 'Jill', it might be in the back of my mind that there was no 'spark' but I would beat that thought down like LAPD on a jaywalker. Just about all of the women that I have sparked to emotionally in my life had no interest in me.

Sometimes, the way you play the game is dictated by what options you have. You live in Louisville so I can only assume you watch college basketball. An analogy would be Princeton playing Louisville. Louisville can be frivolous with the ball, make a bunch of mistakes and shoot a poor percentage and still win the game. Princeton has to take every opportunity it gets, execute perfectly to score on those opportunities, and make sure to be steady to win the game.

Well, I tried...
I sort of see where you are coming from...but at least in my mind, I felt I gave her a fair chance, including the night we met, we had 4 dates and I felt that was fair chance...everyone I have dated long term, I felt a spark after 2 dates, with pretty much getting that feeling within moments of meeting them. For me, and knowing my past, I feel like I would have been leading her on to go out anymore.
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Old 25th January 2012, 8:14 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by grkBoy View Post

I think one of the biggest problems now in dating is that too many tend to think that something that comes easily is immediately "bad" or "settling". They meet someone who seems perfect, and he/she likes them, and everything is just happening easily with little to no effort...so the person thinks something is wrong.

I agree with this. When me and my current boyfriend got together, I had to fight the urge to drop and run because we got along so well together with no particular effort from the day we met. It was kind of a "quiet before the storm" mentality - like the better things were the worse the problems or "catch" would be when they inevitably arise. I also agree that it takes introspection to discern if that natural response is really what you want or if some perspective changes should be made.

I also think this is the case for most situations of people who look good on paper but have trouble finding someone. The stability sounds like what you want, but then you get it and it seems too good to be true or boring.
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Old 25th January 2012, 8:25 PM   #35
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This post makes me think of Anne Hathaway. She's pretty/beautiful and probably has good genes, but for some reason she doesn't hit a switch in my head that makes me think "I'd like to sleep with her or date her." As opposed to other women.
Yeah, you know what? I feel the same way about Anne Hathaway, too. Funny you mention that. She seems formal or something, it's weird.

There's this new woman, Latin, almost 40, you'll know her if you saw her....she's very bubbly, animated, and makes me laugh, and perfect 10's aren't known to make me smile and laugh.

Sofia Vergera

They left off the "Eeeeww...you get the screen all greeezzyyy!" LOL

I love her.
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Old 25th January 2012, 9:39 PM   #36
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Some people sure can look good on paper, but not relationship wise. My ex looked good on paper, but he is so fickle. I found this out too late. I think he just likes having a different woman every month. And seems to jump from woman to woman.
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