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Must have a career, not a job


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Okay, we've seen a few postings about dating the unemployed. I know how that can be unappealing to some women, however, I had recently heard a conversation by some women that specifically stated they wanted a partner with a career, not a job.

 

One woman stated, "If you refer to your work as a 'job', STOP dating, and find a career!"

 

Chances are this is probably coming from someone who has never been laid off or something.

 

Anyhow, ladies, what's your view on this? Would you prefer a man have a JOB or Career?

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One woman stated, "If you refer to your work as a 'job', STOP dating, and find a career!"

 

Not being interested in someone without a carreer is golddiggerish but fine, telling people she never met to change their priorities in life is a red flag for any sane person.

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Okay, we've seen a few postings about dating the unemployed. I know how that can be unappealing to some women, however, I had recently heard a conversation by some women that specifically stated they wanted a partner with a career, not a job.

 

One woman stated, "If you refer to your work as a 'job', STOP dating, and find a career!"

 

Chances are this is probably coming from someone who has never been laid off or something.

 

Anyhow, ladies, what's your view on this? Would you prefer a man have a JOB or Career?

 

Well, that's kind of a bitchy way to phrase it, but I wouldn't want to date a guy who didn't know what his career aspirations were and have a reasonable plan and the tools to to achieve those aspirations.

 

I've been laid off, but I've never not had a career post-college. I've switched careers, which involved being a poor grad school student with perhaps a subpar job for awhile . . . but I was going to school in my field and even working in my field, albeit not for much money. (Still enough to get by, but I went from making 45K a year to $10 an hour PT + being in grad school at one point for a year.) I couldn't imagine existing without some sort of direction and ambition.

 

I would never even think to say, "My man must have a job!" because so far as I'm concerned, everyone should have a job unless he/she was JUST laid off. It only takes a couple weeks to find at least a job --- when I was laid off, I was out of work for literally 3 days before I got a job in a restaurant to tide me by for a few weeks until I found something new. If I met someone who had no job, I could GET them a PT job in town at least doing something while they looked. It's not that difficult. Finding a career is difficult, sure. And there's no shame in getting laid off these days. But people who can sit around and wait for **** to happen just don't make sense to me.

 

To answer the full question, I wouldn't date a man without a career either. He doesn't have to be at the top of it or anything, but he has to know what he wants to do and be working toward it.

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It only takes a couple weeks to find at least a job
LOL....couple of weeks?! LOL

 

Try MONTHS, IF you're lucky (that was good for a laugh - sorry not making fun...just sayin)

 

True, I have known that were big supervisors of a good amt of people only to have gotten laid off...they had to sell their homes, get an apt, sell off at least one car.

 

And now work a 10/hr job

 

Most people are more UNDER-employed if anything

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but I wouldn't want to date a guy who didn't know what his career aspirations were and have a reasonable plan and the tools to to achieve those aspirations.

 

I'm a guy and this is how I am for girls...they need to know where they are going and are working on it if not there already...I'm already in my career and I need someone with who is at least working towards theirs

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I'm more under the impression that a job and career are just things you do for money. You should enjoy them but they shouldn't take over your entire life. I want a guy that knows how to live and enjoy his life to the fullest OUTSIDE of work too. I want a guy that values his family, maintains responsibility and keeps our relationship a priority.

 

I've found that you can find this in men (or women) that have JOBS and not careers. The security of knowing your boyfriend/future husband makes a ton of money is appealling but nothing is ever set in stone.

 

My mother was a VP of a company -worked her butt off and the company went under during the financial crisis and she was unemmployed for over a year and a half and was in a bad spot. ANYTHING can happen.

 

I take my own advice - I want security? I go out and get it for myself and I date a guy that can support himself with or with out me. I don't need my man to come to his first date with his resume in hand.

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I have a job... I've had it for almost 33 years.. it's a job that after working for so long looks like it is a career too..

My job has been to give careers to many employees thruout the years..

 

This dividing a job from a career is just BS...

If a woman or man doesn't date someone because they want to rip apart exactly how they provide food on their table and rent over their head then it says more about the person judging than it does about the person working.

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Queen Zenobia
Okay, we've seen a few postings about dating the unemployed. I know how that can be unappealing to some women, however, I had recently heard a conversation by some women that specifically stated they wanted a partner with a career, not a job.

 

One woman stated, "If you refer to your work as a 'job', STOP dating, and find a career!"

 

Chances are this is probably coming from someone who has never been laid off or something.

 

Anyhow, ladies, what's your view on this? Would you prefer a man have a JOB or Career?

 

Well, a lot of college students don't have careers, many don't even have jobs at all. I suppose by this girl's logic everyone should wait until they're a year out of college and into a career before they even think about dating.

 

I don't think you need to have a career before you start dating, sometimes careers can change midstream anyway. Unless you're literally living in a homeless shelter and eating out of trashcans, if you can support yourself you can date. Women who want "career men" are usually (although not always) looking for get rich quick schemes, or have extremely high standards. Don't worry yourself with what they think.

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serial muse

Oh...I had a different take on what that meant.

 

I assumed that she was making a distinction between a "job" - something you do for money - and a "career" - something you do because you love it. And saying that she wasn't interested in someone who does something just for money, but in someone who loves what they do. The difference between punching a timeclock and pursuing your dreams.

 

I guess I sort of agree with that, actually. I don't know that I could relate to a guy who was just doing a job to get by, and didn't feel some sort of passion for it.

 

JMO.

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I want a partner who has some passion for what he does. Put crudely, I live to work rather than work to live, and I'd like compatibility in that areas. However, the issue for me is not how much money he makes or what kind of job titles he has. I just want him be into whatever he does and feel inspired by it. Like muse said, something you do because you love it rather than purely for the pay check.

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Oh...I had a different take on what that meant.

 

I assumed that she was making a distinction between a "job" - something you do for money - and a "career" - something you do because you love it. And saying that she wasn't interested in someone who does something just for money, but in someone who loves what they do. The difference between punching a timeclock and pursuing your dreams.

 

I guess I sort of agree with that, actually. I don't know that I could relate to a guy who was just doing a job to get by, and didn't feel some sort of passion for it.

 

JMO.

 

That's how I read it too.

 

A job is transitory. You'll leave it if a "better deal" comes along, even if it's something you don't really care about.

 

A career is something you love to do, it's a part of who you are... And because you're passionate about it, you're more successful than you would be if treating it like a "job."

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fortyninethousand322
Oh...I had a different take on what that meant.

 

I assumed that she was making a distinction between a "job" - something you do for money - and a "career" - something you do because you love it. And saying that she wasn't interested in someone who does something just for money, but in someone who loves what they do. The difference between punching a timeclock and pursuing your dreams.

 

I guess I sort of agree with that, actually. I don't know that I could relate to a guy who was just doing a job to get by, and didn't feel some sort of passion for it.

 

JMO.

 

I think it might have something to do with age too. Like QZ said above younger people are probably not yet into their careers. I mean I'm just out of college, and while I know more or less what I want to do with my life, do I just avoid dating until I get into my career? I don't think I should, and I think it would unreasonable for a girl to expect me to be pursuing my passions (and succeeding at them) at such an early age.

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Okay, we've seen a few postings about dating the unemployed. I know how that can be unappealing to some women, however, I had recently heard a conversation by some women that specifically stated they wanted a partner with a career, not a job.

 

One woman stated, "If you refer to your work as a 'job', STOP dating, and find a career!"

 

Chances are this is probably coming from someone who has never been laid off or something.

 

Anyhow, ladies, what's your view on this? Would you prefer a man have a JOB or Career?

 

bet money that woman has f*cked more than one unemployed man and will do it again

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It's just an unfortunate way of phrasing that she wants someone with ambition and aspiration rather than a guy who only wants to work behind a bar or in a shop all his life. Sure some of that is about money but I think men that have ambition are usually more active and interesting (depending on the ambition) because they are go-getters.

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Because I'm fairly young, a career is less important to me than having long term goals and actually pursuing them. I'm not working in my dream field either, whatever that is, because the market doesn't support it. I'm not going to punish someone for that. Nor for working a kind of crap job as a transition. If you can support yourself, you can date. I also wouldn't rule out a man who was actually looking for a job but unemployed. I was out of work for four freaking months las year and I felt incredibly lucky when I did land something because it is just so rough out there... even for the jobs that used to be guaranteed anyone can get them, now want experience.

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serial muse
Because I'm fairly young, a career is less important to me than having long term goals and actually pursuing them.

 

I guess...I would have called that pursuing a career. Even if one isn't currently working in the right job, one has a dream and an intention of getting there. That, to me, is pursuing a "career". Not really about the current job per se, but more about the goals.

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I can agree with that. It's really just about always moving forward to me. So it's that someone is looking to the future that is important, not whether they have actually arrived yet.

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I am much more concerned about compatibilities outside the work arena. I don't care if he calls it a job or a career. I don't care if he is passionate about his work. I'm not passionate about my job, I am content with it and it pays the bills and allows me fun money so I'm GOOD with that. I don't worry about work, I don't take work home with me, I don't work more than 40 hrs per week and I don't want someone who does.

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LOL....couple of weeks?! LOL

 

Try MONTHS, IF you're lucky (that was good for a laugh - sorry not making fun...just sayin)

 

True, I have known that were big supervisors of a good amt of people only to have gotten laid off...they had to sell their homes, get an apt, sell off at least one car.

 

And now work a 10/hr job

 

Most people are more UNDER-employed if anything

 

A lot of people are UNDER-employed, yes, which is why I detailed that getting laid off is understandable and that delays in one's career are understandable, but if you are UNDER-employed, you have a job. Just not one the necessarily is fitting for your level of experience/education and/or your longterm lifestyle. When I said it takes a couple weeks to find a JOB, I meant if you are trying for any job.

 

I have a job... I've had it for almost 33 years.. it's a job that after working for so long looks like it is a career too..

My job has been to give careers to many employees thruout the years..

 

This dividing a job from a career is just BS...

If a woman or man doesn't date someone because they want to rip apart exactly how they provide food on their table and rent over their head then it says more about the person judging than it does about the person working.

 

It's not about how a guy makes his money to me. It's about how he views his job --- does he have goals at it, does he enjoy it to a degree, etc. I couldn't be with someone who didn't love his work or aspire to do work he loved, as that's one of my values; I saw my parents hating their jobs every day for years and years and I never wanted to be like that or marry anyone like that. And I love my career!

 

But "career" doesn't = lots of money or prestige or anything to me. It just means that there's a concentrated effort to do something particular and accomplish goals in a field.

 

Well, a lot of college students don't have careers, many don't even have jobs at all.

 

I've had a job since I was 14 and in college was very adamant about not dating the guys who didn't have PT job (I worked 30 hours almost every week in college, sometimes more) or teaching assistantship/fellowship/etc because the guys without them were mostly rich boys who were happy to take Mommy and Daddy's money for everything, and that's just not who I am or how I was raised. I guess it comes down to values.

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Okay, we've seen a few postings about dating the unemployed. I know how that can be unappealing to some women, however, I had recently heard a conversation by some women that specifically stated they wanted a partner with a career, not a job.

 

One woman stated, "If you refer to your work as a 'job', STOP dating, and find a career!"

 

Chances are this is probably coming from someone who has never been laid off or something.

 

Anyhow, ladies, what's your view on this? Would you prefer a man have a JOB or Career?

 

For me I would rather date someone with a career than a job, and I don't know that I'd date someone unemployed, although I'd give it consideration in this economy.

 

This is why, to me, having a career shows that someone has stability in their life and has thought about the future. I used to just work "jobs" until I found the right career path for me, and now I'm on it and don't plan on getting off. I would like someone who has similar priorities.

 

When my boyfriend and I started dating he had a 'job' and I was well aware of his unhappiness with his position. I encouraged him to follow his dreams and find the right career for him, and he's doing that. For him it means taking some steps backwards, but we both know that his end goal - which will result in his happiness makes it worth it. :)

 

It's not about having a career meaning someone has money to me, it's about knowing what you want from life and making an effort to get there.

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I'm 23 so when I was in college I really didn't care if a guy had a career or a job, mostly because I was a full-time student and only had a "job" myself. However, now that I'm out, I'm realizing that it's so important to have a guy who's on the same page as you. I know what I want to do and am doing it and it'd be so nice to find a guy who's the same way. I don't have anything against guys who don't have a career- it is tough out there and it took me a while to fall into my own- but it's nice to see that they have goals and are steadily and swiftly working towards finding their career too :)

 

So, career all the way!!

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The joke in all this is that everyone has the definition of career wrong. A career is simply the field or occupation to choose and work in over a long period of time with chances for advancement. A job is the current position you hold. For example, if you are Ted Mosby, architect at XYZ fim, that is your job. If he is fired by XYZ, Ted Mosby is still a career architect, just one without a job. Women really want a man with an impressive job regardless of the career field.

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PS. It's also a complete turn-off when you run into a guy who's 28 years old, still partying like he's 21 and has a **** job but still thinks HE'S the **** at the same time. I dated one of these and he made me feel like an idiot because I didn't know what a "sign" job was. He literally fixes signs. ......................

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Sanman, I agree on your definition of what a career is but we do have it right! Someone with a career is someone who is a "career architect" and who has a job, like you mentioned. Just because he gets fired doesn't mean he's still not an architect.

 

But someone with just a job DOESN'T have a career. They're still undecided or trying to find it and I empathize with them. When they get fired, or quit, they're sort of back to square one :/

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Queen Zenobia
I've had a job since I was 14 and in college was very adamant about not dating the guys who didn't have PT job (I worked 30 hours almost every week in college, sometimes more) or teaching assistantship/fellowship/etc because the guys without them were mostly rich boys who were happy to take Mommy and Daddy's money for everything, and that's just not who I am or how I was raised. I guess it comes down to values.

 

Fair enough. For the record I had a PT job in college, as did my fiance (as a Fed intern). I was more commenting on the idea that everyone would/should have a career (or even a job) at that age. Some people work summers and then when school comes around live off the money they made during the summer. Neither of my parents worked in college, my father because he was on a basketball scholarship that took up a lot of time (and repeated knee injuries kept him in rehab), and my mother just didn't have the time (double majoring in biology and engineering). Different strokes for different folks I guess. I guess that's technically living off of someone else's dough, but neither of my parents were trust fund babies.

 

30 hours a week though to me is a lot. I know that I could not have worked that many hours and still get good grades. Good for you that you were though.

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