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Do guys ever really "friendzone" girls?


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Old 19th January 2009, 3:04 AM   #1
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Do guys ever really "friendzone" girls?

I know that girls can easily friendzone guys and never consider them in a romantic way, EVER. But how does it work for guys? Once they friendzone a girl, is she doomed with the friend label until the end of eternity?
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Old 19th January 2009, 3:09 AM   #2
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Yes, girls can be friend-zoned. Doomed until the end of eternity... or until she gets him really drunk, lol. Seriously though, it's just like when a girl puts a guy in that category. It all depends on the reasons whether or not it will ever change. If a girl becomes friends with a guy because he's a creepy geek with a good heart I doubt she'd ever change her mind. But if a girl friend-zoned someone because she doesn't want to lose them and relationships just screw things up... then that's a different story. So my answer is a definitive yes, no, and maybe.
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Old 19th January 2009, 4:16 AM   #3
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Just because you're a chick, doesn't mean we're going to turn into horn-dogs.

I personally have done that many times because I am not attracted to them physically. That's the first step on the Friendzone ladder. Second is, you're kinda cute, but you're freakin' clingy. No. Sup friend?

Third is, you're cute, fun, but you've got issues. Each level comes at different times when you realize certain things after spending enough time if you're physically attracted.

Don't be a stalker/creeper like this one girl who texted me, came to my work (I was on break luckily and she didn't see me), and then texted me again...I called her and she didn't mention being at my work.
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Old 19th January 2009, 7:56 AM   #4
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OP, do you mean platonic friend or non-relationship friend? There is a difference.

And, yes, men do this, especially if they're married

Seriously, I wish I could describe the feeling. It's like I'm thinking "wow, I really like this lady; she's a great person and friend but she just doesn't make my d*ck hard and I don't think about her in that way". I can kiss her passionately (emotionally) but not feel anything sexual. I've felt this, many times, as well as the opposite (sexual) feelings, so I can discern the differences in myself. I imagine it plays out similarly in a woman, with the main difference being that, typically, a woman has a larger sample to draw experience from.

Yes, those feelings can change. For a great example of the dynamic, and how I recently had to deal with it, read my "Three cats and a mouse" journal. I've had to distance myself from one party, a really longtime good friend, because I saw that my feelings had changed.

Does that help?

Last edited by carhill; 19th January 2009 at 8:00 AM..
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Old 19th January 2009, 8:29 AM   #5
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A guy will friend-zone a girl because she's not physically attractive to him. Unless she can change that, she's most likely doomed.
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Old 19th January 2009, 9:13 AM   #6
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Yes, definitely. Usually for two reasons: he is not attracted enough to you to have sex, or having a relationship would be more trouble than it is worth and even casual sex would pose too many complications.
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Old 19th January 2009, 12:22 PM   #7
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Yes it does happen for a variety of reasons.

A big one is you are just not physically attracted to her. She does nothing for you physically. She may be nice, whatever but you have no desire to sleep with her.

Another one is she has issues. Issues could be that she is bitter, is into odd things, insecure, is a sl*t, to much drama in her life or has extreme opinions about any variety of topics.

An example is I have a friend who is now born again. Her religious views cannot coexist with any except hers and her life is totally centric around her new found religion. Nothing wrong with that but I have 0 desire to be with her physically.

A last one is you have sex issues. For example you either you dont like sex or have tremendous guilt about it. Neither one is fun to deal with from a guy's viewpoint.
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Old 19th January 2009, 5:16 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carhill View Post
I can kiss her passionately (emotionally) but not feel anything sexual.
See, I don't understand this. If I'm capable of kissing someone passionately, I'm capable of feeling sexually about someone. I would never french kiss a platonic friend.

This reminds me of my post about whether guys are attracted if they kiss you in a certain way.

I guess everyone is different.

BTW, I have been friendzoned a couple of times for different reasons. It's not fun, but at least I understand what it feels like.
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Old 19th January 2009, 5:35 PM   #9
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GUys friendzone women all the time. Why does this seem hard to believe? Guys arent attracted to , and ready to have sex with every single girl they meet. Guys have standards as well...
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Old 19th January 2009, 6:19 PM   #10
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What is a friendzone... well the friendzone in my mind is something misinformed guys worry about. If a guy goes about building a relationship with a girl in the form of a friendship and then claims to be stuck in the friendzone because things didn't magicaly get romantic then he only has himself to blame. The guy should have been romantic and tried to kiss the girl and stuff but he didn't because he thought it would be less risky rejection wise to just be her friend. Really a horible way to go about trying to get a gf. So no a girl can't be friendzoned. A guy is never going to say to himself boy that girls hot but I don't want to risk losing her as a friend, and for the most part girls arn't expected to be agressive in the same way a guy is so its not weird if a girl is just your friend and doesn't try to kiss you. a girl should be more worried about becoming a friends with benefits. A girl a guy enjoys having sex with but doesn't want to enter any kind of comited relationship with.
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Old 19th January 2009, 6:24 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by prettybaby View Post
I know that girls can easily friendzone guys and never consider them in a romantic way, EVER. But how does it work for guys? Once they friendzone a girl, is she doomed with the friend label until the end of eternity?
Not really IME.

The if a girl is in the 'friendzone' it just means there is some reason the guy won't or can't nail her. Maybe he's married, or she's not attractive to him or maybe he can't figure out how to get her pants off, but "let's just be friends" is more a chick thing.

If a guy uses that line he's probably a pansy.
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Old 19th January 2009, 6:34 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by clv0116 View Post
Not really IME.

The if a girl is in the 'friendzone' it just means there is some reason the guy won't or can't nail her. Maybe he's married, or she's not attractive to him or maybe he can't figure out how to get her pants off, but "let's just be friends" is more a chick thing.

If a guy uses that line he's probably a pansy.
Not fair to speak for all guys. There's a possibility a guy might genuinely respect/care about the girl but just not have romantic feelings for her.
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Old 19th January 2009, 6:37 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by Isolde View Post
Not fair to speak for all guys. There's a possibility a guy might genuinely respect/care about the girl but just not have romantic feelings for her.
Thus use of the word probably. Words mean things.
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Old 19th January 2009, 6:40 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Isolde View Post
Not fair to speak for all guys. There's a possibility a guy might genuinely respect/care about the girl but just not have romantic feelings for her.
yeah only if its like the boss's daughter or some person they work with
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Old 19th January 2009, 9:44 PM   #15
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if she is not attractive then, yeah
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