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[UPDATE]How do I tell my roommate, an elderly lady, she eventually needs to move out.


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Old 22nd January 2018, 8:35 AM   #31
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She had lasik back in sept so her eyesite is better. I dont feel that sorry for her anymore she has caused this and shes had plenty of time to find a place. I could use the money so I will let her stay in feb but under no circumstance is this going to continue


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Originally Posted by MsJayne View Post
I would normally feel sorry for someone in her situation because of her age and her eyesight problems, but she's manipulating you and fully taking advantage of your kindness. You say she has health issues which are aggravated by stress. I've often noticed this is surprisingly common among people who irritate others and overstep boundaries. It's a very convenient way for them to avoid confrontation and accountability. Perhaps her stress issues are real, but maybe not. Just sayin'....
Maybe you could offer to help her look for a place so that you know she is actually looking? Other than that, I think you're gonna need an exorcist to get rid of her.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 8:38 AM   #32
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Purrfect,
I haven't read your backstory so I don't know if you have taken legal advice about this?

If you haven't, maybe it's time y ou did so that you can "get your ducks in a row" ?
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Old 22nd January 2018, 12:18 PM   #33
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I'd contact an attorney, discuss your options and get familiar with your region's tenancy and eviction laws. At this point, if you're still looking for an option to avoid the eviction process, there is the "cash for keys" agreement, which may or may not be suited for your situation. Otherwise, I'd provide her a document stating that you've given her reasonable notice (put dates, etc.) and you will now proceed with eviction. Avoid the arguing/combative route as much as possible.

Last edited by O'Malley; 22nd January 2018 at 12:22 PM..
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Old 22nd January 2018, 12:37 PM   #34
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This has to be so stressful .

Why would her ex have to give her money discreetly? Does he have a new wife who would be mad about that? Remind us again where she lived before moving in with you?
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Old 22nd January 2018, 2:02 PM   #35
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They have been divorced for a while. They are both elderly hes older than her and remarried and hes very well off. Ive told her to suck it up and ask him for money since she really has no other choice and she says she did. So we will see.

Im not giving her cash for keys she has no lease and has already lost my overstayed. I also waived rent for Jan for the sole purpose of getting her out by 1/31.

So I am a little annoyed. I told her the longer she stays with me the harder it will be to move and she promised me 1 more month. Im not giving her any more.



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This has to be so stressful .

Why would her ex have to give her money discreetly? Does he have a new wife who would be mad about that? Remind us again where she lived before moving in with you?
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Old 29th January 2018, 4:49 PM   #36
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I talked to her yesterday. Still hasn’t found a place.

When she paid her rent on feb 3 I’m going to give her a final 30 day notice and let her know she there will be no more extentions.

Yesterday she commented I am making her move at a bad time when the snowbirds out here are taking up everything. Even though I gave her plenty of notice, by the time the end of feb comes she will have had 4.5 months notice.

She said “ I know honey” She has to know I’ve been lenient and reasonable.

So. Sorry not sorry? She needs to be out.starting 3/1 my property is also entirely smoke free so she can’t stay anyways.
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Old 29th January 2018, 7:13 PM   #37
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IMO, you are being too nice... you asked her to leave and she isn't..
When you give her the "final" 30 days notice make sure to put in that document that eviction proceedings will be started at the 30 day mark as well...
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Old 29th January 2018, 9:01 PM   #38
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She must have other friends or family members she can stay with other than you.

Be respectful but firm and explain to her it isn't personal, you just want your space and life back and it's time for her to live her life on her own.
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Old 6th February 2018, 11:50 AM   #39
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I gave her a final 30 day Sunday. I told her there will be no extensions made and keys and garage remote need to be turned over by mar 3. I wrote her a nice letter and said please don’t take it personal but she must find new housing as she has been given plenty of notice. She was on her laptop last night looking at stuff. She has hardly looked. I don’t know what the hell she has been waiting for but of course the supposed apt she had March 1 fell through. I made it clear in he letter any extension will not be accommodated. She’s had over 4 months to find something and obviously has put no effort into looking which is totally ridiculous. I get that she is comfortable here and safe but this doesn’t work for me. I need my house and privacy back.

She can’t afford an apt so she’s going to have to find another roommate situation. And she is going to have a hard time finding someone to accept her. That’s why I gave her plenty of notice. So many people don’t like smoking and the fact she doesn’t work much is going to be an obstacle. And her she being almost 70 younger people want someone around their age. She is not mad at me and understands why she needs to move. I hope we can still be friends and keep in touch but I cannot have her live with me anymore.

My sister works with an older lady who owns a house who was looking to rent a room. I think an older person is a good match for her. Someone who wants companionship and doesn’t mind her being home all the time. She also mentioned to me she wouldn’t mind moving in with another single mom and maybe taking on some child care responsibilities. The only issue I see with that is her car reeks like smoke and most parents probably don’t want their kids exposed to second hand smoke. Anyways she has a little over 3 weeks to find something

Last edited by Purrrfect; 6th February 2018 at 1:30 PM..
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Old 7th February 2018, 4:33 PM   #40
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Here it is 2/7 and this woman has to leave in 3 weeks and she has yet to find a place. I dont get it. I stayed home yesterday from work and I dont even think about his woman left the house. I would start my packing if I were her. Nothing.
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Old 7th February 2018, 5:14 PM   #41
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does she secretly think you are a bit of a pushover? mmm...
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Old 7th February 2018, 6:57 PM   #42
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I mean, if she won't go, evict her. I hate it since she's your friend, but what kind of friend won't leave when they're told to?

Have you ever told her if she's get a job working opposite hours to you where she's rarely home when you are, that you'd reconsider? Of course, this will only lead to her waiting to get a job that never happens. Why isn't she working????
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Old 7th February 2018, 8:01 PM   #43
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Shes almost 70 years old. Shes basically retired and works sporadically. Trust me nobody that doesnt work outside the house full time will be living with me again. I wante to ask her to move out last summer but kinda needed the money to get bills paid off.

Shes in for a rude awakening if she thinks anyone wants a smoker who is home almost 24/7 most days to live with them.

I told her the other night she needs to live with a smoker and her smoking is probably going to eliminate most roommate prospects.

Not my problem.


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I mean, if she won't go, evict her. I hate it since she's your friend, but what kind of friend won't leave when they're told to?

Have you ever told her if she's get a job working opposite hours to you where she's rarely home when you are, that you'd reconsider? Of course, this will only lead to her waiting to get a job that never happens. Why isn't she working????
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Old 7th February 2018, 8:24 PM   #44
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I just got home from work. She gets home about 30 min after me. For the first time shes not carrying any groceries. The only time she leaves the house is to go to the store or when she works on occasion.

That means she must have looked at a place.

Maybe there is hope. We will see. I do like the fact she never has anyone over and shes quiet but Ive never known anyone to sit home all day everyday and do nothing.

Looking forward to having my house back to myself.
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Old 8th February 2018, 7:46 AM   #45
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Here it is 2/7 and this woman has to leave in 3 weeks and she has yet to find a place. I don’t get it. I stayed home yesterday from work and I don’t even think about his woman left the house. I would start my packing if I were her. Nothing.
It's because she isn't moving.. you are not getting it.. she obviously knows you can't throw her out and have to evict her, legally...

I would start the process now and get the paperwork going as it can take up to 6 months to evict someone if they know how to work the law.. something tells me she does and you are in for an eye opener.


Stop being so nice.. she is using you.
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