LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Platonic > Business and Professional Relationships

My boss and my co-worker are making my life miserable [UPDATE]


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

Like Tree15Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 18th August 2017, 1:22 PM   #16
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 831
Like I mentioned, I do work with that other department already monthly and they pay me for meditation sessions. When I first started at this company I originally started out in that department, and then I got a better position with my boss, which I have now, so these people know me. When they re-hired me and I walked in for my first shift the other day, they were so happy I was there to help them. When they asked me to help them out, after hours, with some work, and they would pay me, of course I was going to take them up on it. I always need more money. I'm swimming in student loan dept. Its only for like two weeks for a few hours only. They are providing me with use of their own software, and I have the software on my laptop at home so I can work there.

This new office hired me as an outside contractor, for a part time temporary job. I could go work at the cafe in the building, which again, is the same company after work, and I don't think it would be any of his business.

The way our company works is very casual. Not that we don't have rules, but we get perks of working in a company that has lots of resources. I get free internet security, Microsoft products, and deals on computer things for my own personal use. We get to use the mail room for personal packages sending and receiving. So its not like we work at a very strict place where nothing intersects. They are always promoting connecting with other offices and creating those relationships and helping each other. I saw what I was doing, was me stepping up to help another office in need in my spare time. I think my boss is controlling and wants to feel powerful. At the end of the conversation with him, he even gave me his permission to do the job. I never asked him and I had already started. I didn't go in there to ask him at all. I am doing it in my time at my home. And even if I did stay late at my desk, I have the programs and software there, that I need and use everyday for my regular job, so I don't think its a big deal if I am using it after hours to help an office across the way, apart of the same company that pays for us to have all of the programs.
amkxoxo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th August 2017, 1:26 PM   #17
Established Member
 
darkmoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,532
you're not the boss, he is, sadly, you need to be obedient, even if he is wrong, do not cross the boss ever, he holds the high cards, tbh, he let it go this time...

Last edited by darkmoon; 18th August 2017 at 1:29 PM..
darkmoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th August 2017, 1:46 PM   #18
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 831
I'm not trying to cross him. I was pleasant and agreed with everything he said in his office. I know that is what he wants. I am just venting, because I think it was out of line for him to take that kind of control over me. What I do in my spare time is my own life. And I felt it was very inappropriate for him to give me permission. I hate being around him, because he is a scum bag and I feel like I am acting pleasant and like a kiss asss, but in reality I hate his guts. And the fact that he likes the other bad co-worker, the young girl, and he hired her, didn't train her, and there is a huge lack of communication between all of us, ever since she started, makes me angry. I love what I do. I am smart, and I feel like he is egotistical and gets off on controlling an office full of woman. He likes to exercise his control. There is four of us woman, and we have one male co worker. He treats him differently than us for sure. When vacation season came around my boss took what time he wanted, and let the other guy take whatever he wanted. But he made us four woman figure out our schedules amongst ourselves, so that two people were always in the office between the four of us. Shouldn't it be the six of us? Its definitely sexist. Our guy co worker is not very organized. He struggles in that department because he used to have his won secretary at his last job, but doesn't here. My boss gives him a pass on a lot of things, but the minute I am not organized or communicative enough, he reams me for it.
amkxoxo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th August 2017, 4:41 PM   #19
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Transitioning
Posts: 1,084
This is confusing.

Are you doing side work for another office (aka department) in your current company OR are you doing side work for another company?

Most companies have policies about not using work equipment for personal reasons (including and especially side work). Just because the atmosphere is generally casual doesn't mean there aren't lines that shouldn't be crossed. Many companies also have non-competes or similar policies that prohibit employees from doing side work.

Bottom line is that it is difficult to be successful if you don't have a good relationship with your boss, and IIRC from your other threads, this is not your first run-in with a colleague. Sounds like you might be advised to objectively evaluate your situation and possibly even look for a new position elsewhere.
introverted1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th August 2017, 5:21 PM   #20
Established Member
 
Scarlett.O'hara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 862
Quote:
Originally Posted by amkxoxo View Post
Recently, that same office came to me asking if I would do some graphic work for a few weeks, while they find a replacement worker.
There is your solution right there. Apply to be the permanent replacement.
Scarlett.O'hara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th August 2017, 5:27 PM   #21
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 5,189
For a start did you not think it fishy when the side work said they would be putting this other work down as meditation? Like, not at all fishy?

Will everyone be covering this up with the IRS (assuming you're in the US) and facing a possible hefty fine?

I've known people be given a cardboard box and frog marched out for less.

He is your boss, if you are not happy there you should seek new employment if you're not prepared to honour your contract (which I suspect you haven't in this instance).
GemmaUK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th August 2017, 7:28 PM   #22
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 17,452
You need to be looking for another job since your boss hates you.
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th August 2017, 11:09 AM   #23
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 14,127
Quote:
Originally Posted by amkxoxo View Post
I'm not trying to cross him. I was pleasant and agreed with everything he said in his office. I know that is what he wants. I am just venting, because I think it was out of line for him to take that kind of control over me. What I do in my spare time is my own life. And I felt it was very inappropriate for him to give me permission. I hate being around him, because he is a scum bag and I feel like I am acting pleasant and like a kiss asss, but in reality I hate his guts. And the fact that he likes the other bad co-worker, the young girl, and he hired her, didn't train her, and there is a huge lack of communication between all of us, ever since she started, makes me angry. I love what I do. I am smart, and I feel like he is egotistical and gets off on controlling an office full of woman. He likes to exercise his control. There is four of us woman, and we have one male co worker. He treats him differently than us for sure. When vacation season came around my boss took what time he wanted, and let the other guy take whatever he wanted. But he made us four woman figure out our schedules amongst ourselves, so that two people were always in the office between the four of us. Shouldn't it be the six of us? Its definitely sexist. Our guy co worker is not very organized. He struggles in that department because he used to have his won secretary at his last job, but doesn't here. My boss gives him a pass on a lot of things, but the minute I am not organized or communicative enough, he reams me for it.
You need to start looking for another job. You jealousy of the other girl and your hatred for your boss is taking up too much of your mind space. You would be happier else where.
stillafool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th August 2017, 9:17 PM   #24
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 831
So something new has happened at work and I feel stuck and need advice.

So one of my co-workers announced he is going to retire and leave in two weeks. Now one week. He then said how he would like to go out to eat with all of us for dinner his last day. Then the evil girl says out loud "We should all go to 112"

Its a restaurant nearby, I had never heard of. The retiree knows it, gets excited, and they settle on the place.

So then they decide to surprise him with a gift from all of us. A round of tennis, which he loves. They say it will be $16 a person. I live totally independently, with all my own bills, car, apartment and tons of student debt. With the student debt, I am sort of poor. My other co worker, a woman in her 60s is my friend, and she too is always counting pennies. She then tells me how the restaurant they chose is so expensive and I could end up dropping $50, because most likely we will all split and cover the retiree. I started getting nervous about this. I pay over $1000 a month in student loans, so my money is precious to me.

Now the evil girl and another co worker say how they thought it would be nice to buy two rounds of tennis, because he could take someone with him. I put my foot down. I told them how I am comfortable with one round for him, because of my finances.

They say okay, but I feel stupid being the poor person. My co worker friend, then says how about we do the double tennis gift, but order some pizzas in the office that day. No one was a fan of the idea. So it was agreed upon that we give him the one round, $16 a piece, but we are still eating at the fancy place. I saw that the cheapest dinner was $23. Then drinks, tip. My co worker was right. And my other co workers like rounds of drinks. I feel trapped into going. Everyone is going. And the guy who is retiring, whom is like a father figure to me, wants everyone to be there. I feel trapped, but I cannot afford it. I don't want to say anything, because the people who can afford it, are so excited, including the guy who is leaving. I also don't want to seem like a super poor person again.

I don't know what to do!
amkxoxo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th August 2017, 9:44 PM   #25
Established Member
 
Scarlett.O'hara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 862
Simple.. pull a sick day. If you aren't there at work, no one will expect you to be there for dinner. That way all you'll have to pay for is the tennis gift.

Don't stress yourself out over it or make a big deal about money issues in front of other people at work, it will only cause more tension.
Scarlett.O'hara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28th August 2017, 8:43 AM   #26
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 712
Tell the co-worker that is retiring your situation. You say he is like a father figure to you, I would expect if you told him you would love to go but cannot afford the dinner, he would be fine with it. He might offer to pay for you because he wants you there. Either way he will understand.
ChatroomHero is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th September 2017, 9:48 AM   #27
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 831
So recently at work things have sort of gotten crazy again. We have our annual reviews with our boss. How it works is that you submit your review with all the work you have done this year to your immediate boss. He then rates you from 1-5, 1 being the worst, and 5 being the best on multiple categories. I have been here for three years and never ever gotten a 5. My coworkers who has been with him for twice as long has not either. He always used to say he only gives 3 and 4ís so we strive to do better.

This year I go in to meet with him to talk about my review. He gives me mostly all 4ís and a couple of 5ís. I was shocked. I didnít believe it. He also gave my co-worker a similar rating. We were shocked to be sure. It took us both many years to get this good of a score. Then he must submit these records to his boss. And he can choose to nominate certain people for a $1000 bonus. I have never been nominated in my three years and neither has my co-worker. She is 62 and about to retire. She has been at this organization for over 10 years and with him as her boss for 6.

We have a staff meeting and he announces to everyone that he nominated everyone for the bonus. I am happy. I worked hard this year and I took on way more jobs than I needed to. I do the job of two or three people anywhere else. This is the first year where I felt like I truly deserved it. But my co-worker and I are shocked he nominated the new girl. She has only been here for one year and he is already nominating her for a bonus. My poor coworker hasnít gotten one in 6 years and she has loads of experience in her field and recommendations from clients. She and I both submitted client appreciation and positive review letters with our annual reviews. New girl is only the secretary. But he loves her, so again, I am not surprised.

My bossí boss, gives my coworker and I the bonus. Unsure if new girl got the bonus, but I guarantee she did. We have a database online, where we house all of our work for the whole office. Everyone can access it. I donít keep a lot on there, but other co-workers keep a ton on there. The other day I am going through folders looking for something specific that my boss wanted me to edit for him. I stumble across documents in one of his folders that have all of our names. He has everyoneís annual review up for everyone to see. I clicked on my own, and I clicked on new girls to compare. He gave me 4ís mostly, and a couple 5ís. He also wrote things in some sections saying how I could improve on this and that. Minor things, but still corrections. I look at her review and he gave her almost all 5ís on every section. And gave her rave reviews and not one correction. I was shocked. One year. She had no experience and had to learn so much and he gives her that?

Again, my poor co-worker waited 6 years for that and she didnít get that.

Then, we had another co-worker who just left. He was older, made probably double what any of us make. He had lots of experience. We need someone who does. He was a sales person/recruiter. He was great. The person in the office who does something the most similar to him is me. So I have been handling his clients until we get someone new. Years ago, my boss told me he would never promote us within the office, because he felt it was a waste of resources. He would have to train two people instead of just one. It made sense. Yesterday he comes out of his office. Is leaning on new girls desk talking about office stuff. And then he blatantly offered her the job. Sheís a secretary and he offering her a huge money sales jobs? I was shocked. He hasnít offered it to anyone else. He was trying to convince her. It was shocking. She turned it down telling him she doesnít like sales and isnít good at sales.

I was appalled to say the least by this. We clearly know who is a favorite. My dad and his buddies think that heís doing favors for her and eventually favors always need to get re-paid, if you know what I mean. They are grown men and they know how grown men are.
amkxoxo is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Miserable Ex making me feel miserable LovelyDoll206 Breaks and Breaking Up 2 18th May 2016 8:26 PM
Mom is making vacation and life miserable VSgirl Family 2 3rd January 2015 3:07 PM
Update on my miserable life! b52srock Separation and Divorce 11 3rd February 2005 4:29 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 5:22 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.