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My boss dislikes me


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Old 19th June 2017, 12:20 PM   #16
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/.../

I think it is always best to keep a low profile, do your job and keep looking for other employment in these situations. It will be much easier to land a better gig if your former employer is at least neutral with respect to your situation.
I agree 100%.

One thing I would add is that your bosses influence your career in many ways where a paper trail is not possible; misleading/disparaging remarks about you made in one-on-on conversations with higher ups, false claims that your ideas/proposals originated from others, about your work ethic, etc. As I mentioned before, your bosses boss(es) usually think they are doing a good job and take them at their word. There is simply no way to address this other than doing the best job you can and that usually is just not enough to undo the potential present and future damage.
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Old 23rd June 2017, 10:41 AM   #17
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I agree 100%.

One thing I would add is that your bosses influence your career in many ways where a paper trail is not possible; misleading/disparaging remarks about you made in one-on-on conversations with higher ups, false claims that your ideas/proposals originated from others, about your work ethic, etc. As I mentioned before, your bosses boss(es) usually think they are doing a good job and take them at their word. There is simply no way to address this other than doing the best job you can and that usually is just not enough to undo the potential present and future damage.
Yup... The employment world is all about who you know, not what you know. Right now, I am taking on a ton of extra duties at the school next year. My life around there is going to be draining. But, I don't plan on staying past next year so I will end up with a glowing letter of recommendation and reference from my current boss simply because I am doing him a favor by picking up some slack.

I could honestly do a terrible job teaching but these extra, time consuming jobs will look good on my resume, keep me in good graces with the boss, and make finding a better job much easier,
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Old 24th June 2017, 4:22 AM   #18
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Hi you guys, thank you all for your replies. This was a busy week and I just found time to login here.

I have decided to give it a shot, even though my boss keeps glaring at me when I say "good morning" and even though our team communication is dysfunctional. My boss doesn't want me to report anything to her (!) so I update her favourite and I guess the favourite discusses with her. I don't know if they ever talk trash about me, but at least I have a better work relationship with the favourite. She seems to be supportive of professional development opportunities when I ask for them. She also needs me because I know how to do some things that she doesn't know how to do herself (which are in my career goals). She has more influence over our boss, so I've decided on being more strategic by becoming indispensable to the favourite and see what happens. Even if still I get the urge to leave next year, I truly hope to get a good performance review (like oatsandhall's plan).

By the way Im not sure if my boss has badmouthed me to her boss. He is super nice to me but it may be that he just likes my guts. At least for the time being. Maybe she avoids saying anything because if the three of us meet and discuss our team dynamics she may end up looking bad
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Old 26th June 2017, 1:20 AM   #19
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Never understood this- You have a somewhat good job. You do everything told. Your always busy. Sometimes they're running behind and you have to do light running from station to station and yet it's not enough.
Your boss like you and guess what coworkers despise you. Your boss doesn't like you and your coworkers like you. Or pure hell, boss doesn't like you, coworkers don't like you and customers are difficult.

Seems like you have to hit the lottery job to be happy.
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Old 26th June 2017, 3:22 AM   #20
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Regarding doing extra tasks - you probably started on a bad foot with your boss by complaining. I have been in my current role for close to 4 years and have had many extra tasks added along the way - that's what happens. Your position evolves into what is needed.

As a newcomer, you also have to work harder in the initial "prove yourself" stage. It happens to everyone and is one of the reasons I dislike changing jobs. You shouldn't even be comparing yourself to established co-workers at this point.

You also seem too distracted by inter-personal gossip, who looks at you the wrong way, who talks to you, who smiles at you - all this stuff is irrelevant. You are there to work not to find BFF.

It's always good to look at how you may have contributed to the problem.
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Old 28th June 2017, 3:44 PM   #21
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Regarding doing extra tasks - you probably started on a bad foot with your boss by complaining. I have been in my current role for close to 4 years and have had many extra tasks added along the way - that's what happens. Your position evolves into what is needed.

As a newcomer, you also have to work harder in the initial "prove yourself" stage. It happens to everyone and is one of the reasons I dislike changing jobs. You shouldn't even be comparing yourself to established co-workers at this point.

You also seem too distracted by inter-personal gossip, who looks at you the wrong way, who talks to you, who smiles at you - all this stuff is irrelevant. You are there to work not to find BFF.

It's always good to look at how you may have contributed to the problem.
How can I know if I have contributed to problems if my boss doesn't seem to want any contact with me?! It's one thing to be distant emotionally and another thing to have a dysfunctional work relationship.

And excuse me, but when a job is advertised and presented in an interview a certain way, well, you expect that you will be doing that job! I don't mind all the extra tasks that come with THIS job, but if you apply for a job that is creative and NOT admin and you end up doing admin 90% of the time for months then why is it wrong to remind this to your boss and say it as it is? Trust is a two way street and anyway it's very expensive for them to pay someone with master's to do something a high school graduate could do.

Finally, I care for how people who have power over me perceive me. I want to advance and expand my skills. And the person I compare myself to is as new as I am and is less productive so it's totally a case of favouritism. I dont discuss with any coworkers all these complains btw.
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Old 28th June 2017, 4:19 PM   #22
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And excuse me, but when a job is advertised and presented in an interview a certain way, well, you expect that you will be doing that job! I don't mind all the extra tasks that come with THIS job, but if you apply for a job that is creative and NOT admin and you end up doing admin 90% of the time for months then why is it wrong to remind this to your boss and say it as it is? Trust is a two way street and anyway it's very expensive for them to pay someone with master's to do something a high school graduate could do.
Many employers add "other duties as needed" to job descriptions, or something similar, that allow for assigning tasks outside of the normal day to day tasks. I have worked very few places that do not have "other duties as needed" as part of the job description, and it can be frustrating at times. I was hired to do X job, not X job plus a, b, and c, and occasionally d. It is good to be diverse, and helpful, but not at the cost of your performance on the job you were hired to do.

When unsatisfied in a job, it is a good idea to keep a polished resume, and look for other opportunities that will (hopefully) provide a less hostile working environment.

Best of luck to you.
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Old 28th June 2017, 4:42 PM   #23
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Many employers add "other duties as needed" to job descriptions, or something similar, that allow for assigning tasks outside of the normal day to day tasks. I have worked very few places that do not have "other duties as needed" as part of the job description, and it can be frustrating at times. I was hired to do X job, not X job plus a, b, and c, and occasionally d. It is good to be diverse, and helpful, but not at the cost of your performance on the job you were hired to do.

When unsatisfied in a job, it is a good idea to keep a polished resume, and look for other opportunities that will (hopefully) provide a less hostile working environment.

Best of luck to you.
Funny thing is I dont even have this kind of term in my contract
(thank you!)
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Old 29th June 2017, 7:13 AM   #24
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Funny thing is I dont even have this kind of term in my contract
(thank you!)
That is unfortunate, because at least when it is there you could expect to be asked to do "other duties as needed" instead of getting new tasks randomly dumped on you at your bosses whim.

I have held several jobs without the "as needed" clause in my contract, but I have never worked for a company in which I only completed tasks within my job description. Now, I work for myself, so I fully expect to do whatever is needed, but have no one to complain to when the boss it a tyrant.

I hope you can find a way to make your job more bearable, or find a new job that is in a better working environment.
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Old 29th June 2017, 4:38 PM   #25
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- The second month I was there she assigned to me admin tasks that had nothing to do with my job role. Neither with what we discussed in the interview. And she assigned these tasks to me without discussing first. She just marched and announced that I'll volunteer to do them. I expressed my concern about these new tasks affecting my performance in my "normal" job, as they were very time consuming. And she tried to convince me it was part of my job scope. I replied to her email (because I wanted this in writing) that I will continue doing these tasks but this is not what we discussed during my yearly goals meeting. She never replied to that.

- The above ended up with me having much more workload than the rest of the team plus having everyone in the team kind of bossing me around because of my new "duties". So my boss and her favorite member of the team were talking about makeup all day while I couldn't take my eyes off the screen.
Your boss sounds awful and I don't want to downplay that. But the above might explain a lot about her dislike of you. You may be new to the office world, but there are a lot of admin tasks that take place in most offices which have nothing to do with the daily work you do, but still need to get done. Sure there are law offices and such where there are assistants galore, but those situations are rare. Especially as the brand new junior person it shouldn't have been any surprise to get those types of tasks.

At my office we mostly make over 6 figures, and yet we still need to keep our own kitchen clean, empty the dishwasher. I've had tasks where my job was literally to go through paper work and take out staples, hole punch it and put it into binders.

Yearly goals are things you want to try to improve on, and while good leaders will try to make sure you get some experience in those things, that doesn't mean that is going to be 100% of your job. Sometimes those opportunities don't come up at all in a given year.

I keep reading articles about millennials who walk into the work force and expect to be the CEO on their first day on the job and your post is screaming that to a certain extent.
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Old 18th July 2017, 3:28 PM   #26
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Your boss sounds awful and I don't want to downplay that. But the above might explain a lot about her dislike of you. You may be new to the office world, but there are a lot of admin tasks that take place in most offices which have nothing to do with the daily work you do, but still need to get done. Sure there are law offices and such where there are assistants galore, but those situations are rare. Especially as the brand new junior person it shouldn't have been any surprise to get those types of tasks.

At my office we mostly make over 6 figures, and yet we still need to keep our own kitchen clean, empty the dishwasher. I've had tasks where my job was literally to go through paper work and take out staples, hole punch it and put it into binders.

Yearly goals are things you want to try to improve on, and while good leaders will try to make sure you get some experience in those things, that doesn't mean that is going to be 100% of your job. Sometimes those opportunities don't come up at all in a given year.

I keep reading articles about millennials who walk into the work force and expect to be the CEO on their first day on the job and your post is screaming that to a certain extent.
I doubt you cleaned the kitchen and took out staples 90% of the day during the first months of your job. As I said trust and commitment is a two way street. Most people are dispensable, sure, but so are most companies. You say that millennials want to be the CEO. No. We just know better that this is not the way to excel and we know that this is totally inefficient after a point. If my company doesn't care to exploit my skills (in a good way) and doesn't care to develop me I may do so in my own time. Then the next company will benefit for free while my current company sponsored me by paying me in gold to do admin.
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Old 5th August 2017, 2:37 AM   #27
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She keeps excluding me from meetings and conversations and I don't get any updates about company/department activity. I have to prod and ask all the time.

I have an interview with another company next week. They gave me a creative mini project to discuss in the interview. Even if I don't succeed I'm happy to have someone picking on my brain a bit. I will take a sick day off to attend. I deserve it. I worked 2 whole days' worth overtime (unpaid) these last two weeks. On things I shouldn't be doing of course.
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Old 5th August 2017, 6:33 AM   #28
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Didn't read the whole thread....Just wanted to give a boss' perspective...

I've been a boss for almost 27 years now...Just remember this...We are all just human's like anyone else...As such, there are going to be people that you like and some you don't...Some of my most valued employees, I wouldn't give the time of day to on the street...And they probably know it...If that aspect bothers them, then they probably would/should quit and some have..

Your underlings/employees aren't your kids where you have to adore them unconditionally....The important thing though is that they all be treated fairly...Praise them on good work...Don't be selective in how you admonish...

OP...If you take the personality out of it, then objectively look at the situation...If you still feel like you aren't being treated fairly, then its a situation that needs attention on your part...Bring it up to someone in HR, call a meeting with your direct supervisor, or leave the job altogether...Sometimes its not anything more than a "bad fit", and nothing about performance or acumen...

TFY
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Old 5th August 2017, 10:11 AM   #29
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I doubt you cleaned the kitchen and took out staples 90% of the day during the first months of your job.
Yep, I have, at the majority of the jobs I've ever held. The way I've looked at it is: Gotta pay your dues. Do whatever is needed (cheerfully!), regardless whether the task is what you were hired to do or not. When you're new, you can't afford to be picky about the tasks you've been assigned. But there's a hidden benefit to doing those tasks - it really gives you a good look at the underbelly of the company, and you come to understand the inner workings (and the players) a lot better than most people who have been there for years. That knowledge becomes valuable later on when you (and your reputation) becomes more established at the company.

It's also wise (and self-beneficial) to honor the human aspect of working with others of all personality types. My "golden rule" of business - Always always always make your boss look good, even if you don't like him/her. From the get-go you have to convince your boss that you've got their back, and consistently show that to them in your actions.

And always keep in mind, it's not what you say or do that people remember about you. It's how you made them FEEL that sticks with them years down the road.

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As I said trust and commitment is a two way street. Most people are dispensable, sure, but so are most companies.
You are absolutely correct in that. If you're unhappy, get another job! Just don't burn any bridges during the process.

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Originally Posted by don't talk to me View Post
You say that millennials want to be the CEO. No. We just know better that this is not the way to excel and we know that this is totally inefficient after a point. If my company doesn't care to exploit my skills (in a good way) and doesn't care to develop me I may do so in my own time. Then the next company will benefit for free while my current company sponsored me by paying me in gold to do admin.
Really? You know better than others with years/decades more experience than you? Pride & arrogance goeth before a fall. I would carefully rethink that attitude. I thought I knew it all too when I was younger, and I just KNEW I could do it better if only I was in charge. Experience has taught me otherwise. There are always understandable reasons why people do the things they do. First seek to understand.
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