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Miss Olivia

Sometimes I wonder if I have an unhealthy body image. I continue to feel overweight and not fit because I don't weigh what I weighed a couple of years ago. I'm in my late 30's, I am 5'4 and I weigh 132 pounds. I used to weight 125. My stomach isn't as flat. I know it's not a huge difference for some people, but for me it is. I haven't changed my eating habits/exercise at all. If anything, I change my exercise routine to more strength training to burn more calories. I eat well and I exercise 30 mins to an hour at least 3 days a week. Whenever I complain about my body to my husband, my mom, a friend, etc, they all say I'm crazy and that I look good. Why can't I see what they see? Why is my standard different?

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We all have our own standards. I am never content with my body, but that's because I hold the standards of a bodybuilder. Not too many 42 year old guys have abs, some may think that is impressive, but for me its not about comparing myself to others my age, for example, it's about being where I want to be. I get to the gym 2 hours a day, 4 days a week, plus many sports besides. It is a lot of time and effort, but I am able to keep it up because I do it for the enjoyment first and foremost. I always am tweaking my diet and workout to be where I want to be. It's a full time, lifetime commitment, but for me also an enjoyable hobby, so its not hard. The more you put in, the better you will look obviously, only you can decide how much you want to put into your body. If I tried to only look good for my age, nothing more, I'd cut a good 75% off my training. But that's not me...

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Sometimes I wonder if I have an unhealthy body image. I continue to feel overweight and not fit because I don't weigh what I weighed a couple of years ago. I'm in my late 30's, I am 5'4 and I weigh 132 pounds. I used to weight 125. My stomach isn't as flat. I know it's not a huge difference for some people, but for me it is. I haven't changed my eating habits/exercise at all. If anything, I change my exercise routine to more strength training to burn more calories. I eat well and I exercise 30 mins to an hour at least 3 days a week. Whenever I complain about my body to my husband, my mom, a friend, etc, they all say I'm crazy and that I look good. Why can't I see what they see? Why is my standard different?

 

I don't think it is unhealthy to prefer a flat tummy, if that is reasonable goal for your body type. Your husband, mom, and friend are probably correct that you look good, but it doesn't make you crazy to prefer a flatter tummy--esp if you used to have one with a healthy lifestyle (not starving yourself, or anything crazy like that).

 

Outside of "workouts", do you live an active life? Or do you do a lot of sitting at work? You may need to simply move more all day long.

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Well, it isn't necessarily 'crazy' to want a flat stomach, but I think it depends on how much this notion is preoccupying your thoughts and affecting your actions. You said that your loved ones all tell you you're 'crazy' when you complain - well, either they're all crazy, or they're all worried. ;) It does get a bit draggy when someone who isn't even overweight constantly complains that they feel fat. My bf got annoyed after some time when I did, so I stopped it, and both of us are happier for it.

 

Advice: Stop the complaining, step up the exercise if you want to, but mostly try to not let it worry you too much. If you're constantly complaining about your body, it's taking up way too much of your headspace. You have way better things to think about. :)

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Miss Olivia, if you bought a hideous dress that your family knew you loved, they'd say you looked great so as not to hurt your feelings. You have to live inside your body so do what makes you feel good. You've probably been eating a bit more, slightly larger portions, higher calorie foods over a period of months so that you didn't realize the weight was creeping up. Don't say another word about your body but quietly and gradually cut back. Eat more filling salads, for example, or grilled fish and chicken, etc. The weight will come off and no one will think you are trying to starve yourself.

 

I am like fucpcg in that I like to look good for myself and if men happen to like it as well, it's a bonus!

 

I just saw my doctor for a checkup and I am two pounds heavier than I was in each of my five previous annual checkups. It's fat, not muscle. It bugs me! It is my fault I gained those two pounds because I have been cooking lots of rich food the past few weeks, thanks to a new cookbook. I've also been doing less walking because I was too lazy. It's the typical scenario of eating more calories than I am burning. My clothes feel rather uncomfortable and there are a couple of things where I can't button the waist. That is enough of a "warning" to me to get my act together!

 

I can't afford a new wardrobe and I hate dieting for more than a month maximum so that is why I nip the weight in the bud so I don't have to "suffer" any longer than needed.

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If your clothes can't button because you gained 2 pounds, it's highly likely that you bought them too tight in the first place. ;) What do you even do during the later part of your cycle when most women gain 1-2 lbs of water?

 

I'm all for maintaining healthy body mass, or even the mass you want to have (ie a 134 lbs person deciding to go down to 125), but it is not mentally healthy to obsess over 2 lbs, FitChick. Most women fluctuate 2 lbs over the course of a month, much less 5 years. Observe a trend, don't nitpick at the individual pounds. I don't see how it is productive to encourage that, at all.

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Weight gain for women in their 30s and 40s is due to hormonal changes because the growth rate of our cells slows down as we age. It's natural to gain weight every year and you put on more weight if you remain sedentary and don't watch your caloric intake.

 

You already exercise and eat right so your weight gain is probably just due to the aging process, sorry to break it to you. People's metabolisms - esp. women's - really slows down once you hit your 30s and 40s, making weight gain a lot easier than when you were younger.

 

I have a thyroid disease where I'm forced to limit my caloric intake because weight loss for women with thyroid issues is a real challenge. I used to be athletic until my late 20s when my thyroid went kaput. And being 41 my metabolism is extra slow because of my thyroid issue combined with aging.

 

Maybe all you need to do Miss Olivia is add another 15-20 minutes of physical activity to your weekly workouts. I'm sure if you do that after a month you'll see a noticeable difference in your weight.

Edited by writergal
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I haven't noticed that I gain weight as I age, but rather that I carry weight differently as I age. So, while I could have a flat tummy at one weight in my 20s, I will have a small roll at that weight now, in my late 30s.

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it is not mentally healthy to obsess over 2 lbs, FitChick. Most women fluctuate 2 lbs over the course of a month, much less 5 years. Observe a trend, don't nitpick at the individual pounds.

 

In America, fit people think of healthy diet and exercise as being a good habit, unlike the UK where most people apologize if they exercise regularly, which amuses me. Vanity is considered a sin there. We know to nip weight gain in the beginning stages rather than get fat like everyone else does and then panic when they have a big event and crash diet. Not healthy!

 

I maintain my body the way I maintain my car -- take care of little problems before they become big, expensive ones. To each her own.

 

I am proof that just because you are older doesn't mean you have to get fat. I am hypothyroid as well. My figure is actually better and I am stronger than when I was in my twenties and thirties -- skin and bones with no muscle tone.

 

As for your advice to "observe a trend," I do. I observe that when I eat too much I get fatter and don't feel well.:(

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In America, fit people think of healthy diet and exercise as being a good habit, unlike the UK where most people apologize if they exercise regularly, which amuses me. Vanity is considered a sin there. We know to nip weight gain in the beginning stages rather than get fat like everyone else does and then panic when they have a big event and crash diet. Not healthy!

 

I maintain my body the way I maintain my car -- take care of little problems before they become big, expensive ones. To each her own.

 

I am proof that just because you are older doesn't mean you have to get fat. My figure is actually better and I am stronger than when I was in my twenties and thirties -- skin and bones with no muscle tone.

 

As for your advice to "observe a trend," I do. I observe that when I eat too much I get fatter and don't feel well.:(

 

I did have a response but thought better of it. It really is not worth the infraction.

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In America... We know to nip weight gain in the beginning stages rather than get fat like everyone else does and then panic when they have a big event and crash diet. Not healthy!

 

Confused :eek:, why does America have the highest levels of obesity in the world then ??

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Its not mentally healthy to worry about 2 pounds?? Says who? Ans that is why there are really two groups of people on the planet, the fitness addicts, and the ones that don't care. Unfortunately, don't care usually progresses to overweight, then obese. Something like 70% of Americans are overweight, 30% of them obese. Okay, so which one is unhealthy then, the health epidemic in our country, or the person who monitors their pounds, daily. Every single day tons of people get all of their meals from fast food. Every single day I get up and measure my waist and my weight. And that's how a 42 year old guy looks 30 and plays almost every sport on the planet, at a level he did in his 20's. OR just don't worry bout your diet. Your choice witch you want more.

Edited by fucpcg
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Okay, so which one is unhealthy then, the health epidemic in our country, or the person who monitors their pounds, daily.

 

Both of those sound unhealthy to me. But that is from personal experience, since the only time I've monitored my weight daily is when I had body image issues....

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Confused :eek:, why does America have the highest levels of obesity in the world then ??

 

 

after spending time in the US recently, I don't see how anyone can not be overweight.

 

You are bombarded all day, every day by food commercials and drug commercials.

 

In the large supermarkets about 80 percent is unhealthy garbage.

 

the advertisements are telling parents that sweet cereal or a pop tart is a healthy breakfast.

 

the food portions in restaurants are enough to feed 4 people.

 

everyone seems to be addicted to soda.

 

there are no side walks and in the places i was, it was impossible to just walk to the shops like in other countries.

 

Americans are too dependent on the car. I never saw anyone walking.

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Both of those sound unhealthy to me. But that is from personal experience, since the only time I've monitored my weight daily is when I had body image issues....

 

I would agree that if the results are not what you wanted, and therefore you now feel degraded and worthless, that would be unhealthy. I don't mean it in that sense. If I put an inch or two on my waist over a weekend of bbq's I don't feel bad about myself. Instead I adjust my diet and exercise accordingly and go shed those inches over the next week. Not for personal validation or self wrth, but for the sake of keeping myself in a certain shape.

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after spending time in the US recently, I don't see how anyone can not be overweight.

 

You are bombarded all day, every day by food commercials and drug commercials.

 

In the large supermarkets about 80 percent is unhealthy garbage.

 

the advertisements are telling parents that sweet cereal or a pop tart is a healthy breakfast.

 

the food portions in restaurants are enough to feed 4 people.

 

everyone seems to be addicted to soda.

 

there are no side walks and in the places i was, it was impossible to just walk to the shops like in other countries.

 

Americans are too dependent on the car. I never saw anyone walking.

 

As a guy who has spent plenty of time all over Europe, I agree. Now if you Europeans would stop smoking...

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As a guy who has spent plenty of time all over Europe, I agree. Now if you Europeans would stop smoking...

 

I don't smoke

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As a guy who has spent plenty of time all over Europe, I agree. Now if you Europeans would stop smoking...

 

 

It was the UK that was referred to as fat and lazy . The majority of people do not smoke here. Seems there are a lot of incorrect assumptions going on in this thread.

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In America, fit people think of healthy diet and exercise as being a good habit, unlike the UK where most people apologize if they exercise regularly, which amuses me. Vanity is considered a sin there. We know to nip weight gain in the beginning stages rather than get fat like everyone else does and then panic when they have a big event and crash diet. Not healthy!

 

I maintain my body the way I maintain my car -- take care of little problems before they become big, expensive ones. To each her own.

 

I am proof that just because you are older doesn't mean you have to get fat. I am hypothyroid as well. My figure is actually better and I am stronger than when I was in my twenties and thirties -- skin and bones with no muscle tone.

 

As for your advice to "observe a trend," I do. I observe that when I eat too much I get fatter and don't feel well.:(

 

There is nothing wrong with maintaining your body. There is something wrong with getting THAT worried about a gain of 2 lbs when you weigh yourself, unless you are consistently gaining 2 lbs every few months or so instead of just fluctuating. Health goes both ways. Obsession over skinny (or anything else) isn't healthy, and obesity isn't healthy either. It is possible to strike a balance.

 

Its not mentally healthy to worry about 2 pounds?? Says who? Ans that is why there are really two groups of people on the planet, the fitness addicts, and the ones that don't care. Unfortunately, don't care usually progresses to overweight, then obese. Something like 70% of Americans are overweight, 30% of them obese. Okay, so which one is unhealthy then, the health epidemic in our country, or the person who monitors their pounds, daily. Every single day tons of people get all of their meals from fast food. Every single day I get up and measure my waist and my weight. And that's how a 42 year old guy looks 30 and plays almost every sport on the planet, at a level he did in his 20's. OR just don't worry bout your diet. Your choice witch you want more.

 

No idea why you think there can't be a middle ground. That's like saying 'there are really two groups of people on the planet, the bums who can't ever be bothered to find a job, or the workaholics who work 100 hours a week'. If you went to a clinical psychologist and told her that you were very upset over gaining 2 lbs after measuring yourself for 5 years, you can be assured that she would tell you it isn't healthy.

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In America, fit people think of healthy diet and exercise as being a good habit, unlike the UK where most people apologize if they exercise regularly, which amuses me.

 

In all my years living in the UK, I never encountered a single person who apologised for working out. If anyone commented on exercising, it was because they felt bad not working out.

 

Which social groups were you part of in the UK that apologised for exercising? Where did you live?

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Edit: I find the comparisons with the UK having 'less healthy lifestyles' rather amusing. Is that why America still tops the list of the nations with the highest obesity incidences in the WORLD?

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after spending time in the US recently, I don't see how anyone can not be overweight.

 

You are bombarded all day, every day by food commercials and drug commercials.

 

In the large supermarkets about 80 percent is unhealthy garbage.

 

the advertisements are telling parents that sweet cereal or a pop tart is a healthy breakfast.

 

the food portions in restaurants are enough to feed 4 people.

 

everyone seems to be addicted to soda.

 

there are no side walks and in the places i was, it was impossible to just walk to the shops like in other countries.

 

Americans are too dependent on the car. I never saw anyone walking.

 

This is my experience, too. I've only lived a total of a year and a half in the US, and I spent it in three different states with different sets of people who all led fairly healthy lives, which I am sure a lot of other people do as well. But so much of the societal infrastructure is not geared towards healthy living.

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Edit: I find the comparisons with the UK having 'less healthy lifestyles' rather amusing. Is that why America still tops the list of the nations with the highest obesity incidences in the WORLD?

 

Yes, I find that confusing, too - although obesity stats are on the rise in the UK as well (and in other European countries). Smoking is on the decrease, though.

 

To the OP: As others have said, I think our bodies react differently as we age. If you want to get rid of the few pounds, by all means go for it. I think those things mainly become unhealthy when we afford them too much space in our (mental) lives. Is this something you think about A LOT, at the expense of other things? Or do you mainly think, 'I want to loose a few pounds', make a plan for doing so, and then get on with your life?

Edited by denise_xo
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Confused :eek:, why does America have the highest levels of obesity in the world then ??

If you had read my post more carefully, you would have seen that I was referring to "fit people."

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In all my years living in the UK, I never encountered a single person who apologised for working out. If anyone commented on exercising, it was because they felt bad not working out.

 

I can't tell you how many dating profiles I've read where men say "I go to the gym three times a week" or "I swim daily" or "I run everyday" then always add "...but I am not obsessed." I suspect they are used to hearing similar remarks as on this thread.

 

American men don't say such things. If anything, they boast about working out a lot.

 

I don't care what they say -- it's what they do and how they look that matter to me.

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