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SINGLE recovering alcoholic success stories


Addiction & Recovery Recognizing, conquering, and coping with addictions, substance abuse & dependence.

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Old 3rd May 2017, 4:15 PM   #16
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I am no expert but I'm not sure I buy that. Alcoholism stems from emotional problems, not the alcohol. They drink to not "feel" anymore. To go numb for a the moment of bad feelings. They need therapy to fix or learn to cope with emotional problems. Loneliness may be one of those problems they don't know how to cope with or it may not. I forgot about the sponsor, which is a good idea, but what I said about married people having a spouse to be there with them thru it is still true. There are all sorts of emotional problems that can come up but I just brought up this one because it came up for me.
We all have a reason we drink to excess and after that happens the addiction kicks in, it can also be genetic...
My Dad was a Dry Alcoholic, not a Sober one.

Many people have emotional problems and aren't Drunks....
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Old 3rd May 2017, 4:16 PM   #17
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So you had someone part of the way and lost her during it. Did you get with someone else soon after you lost her? I'm guessing yes? I hear that recovering A's often get together with each other when they meet in rehab, AA, or classes. A bad idea of course but again I think that is due to loneliness. I think relationships end up being a source of stress for the A but they feel compelled towards them anyway. (
I did but she was too Codependent on me for it to last, she didn't go to Alanon and her own behavior wasn't good for my sobriety.
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Old 3rd May 2017, 4:19 PM   #18
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Very few people will admit openly to being alcoholic, but this is an Internet forum, with some anonymity.
There isn't a person I dated who didn't know either on Date 1,2 or before the Date.. and I dated a lot.

There also isn't very many people who I meet that as soon as they get close to me learn that I'm an Alcoholic...

I have never hidden it and certainly am not embarrassed about it, if anything I'm somewhat proud of my accomplishment and also proud of who I have become being sober.

IMO, if an Alcoholic wants to drink they might hide who they are, part of the denial process.
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Old 3rd May 2017, 5:34 PM   #19
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Single, coming up on 5 years sober. I'm 56.

I do have a GF, but she wasn't at the time I decided to sober up. I was single and not dating anyone at that time.

I did it on my own, no AA, no sponsor, no nothing. But after an accident that luckily hurt no-one, and a suspended license for a while, I realized I was on a dangerous road I no longer wanted to be on.

Can't say I've ever made a better decision in my life.
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Old 3rd May 2017, 5:36 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by Popsicle View Post
I am no expert but I'm not sure I buy that. Alcoholism stems from emotional problems, not the alcohol. They drink to not "feel" anymore. To go numb for a the moment of bad feelings. They need therapy to fix or learn to cope with emotional problems. Loneliness may be one of those problems they don't know how to cope with or it may not. I forgot about the sponsor, which is a good idea, but what I said about married people having a spouse to be there with them thru it is still true. There are all sorts of emotional problems that can come up but I just brought up this one because it came up for me.
No, I don't think that's always the case, if anything I drank to feel more. I really never drank when I was upset or something was bothering me. I drank when I was in a good mood, and wanted even more.
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Old 3rd May 2017, 5:39 PM   #21
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Not a success story.

I drink too frequently. I don't get staggering drunk but after working hours I am usually lubricated to some extent. It all started as a way to relieve stress. I think now it's become a source of stress.

It's not a healthy thing. I'd like to cut back but don't know if I really can without completely giving it up and I'm not sure I want to completely get rid of my "crutch"

Sigh.
Careful, thats's how I was. It was especially easy for me because I used to brew my own beer! That really started my downfall. Eventually, I realized I had to give it up, cutting down wasn't working. It doesn't for most people who've grown accustomed to being lubricated. I wasn't a falling down alcoholic either, but now, sober, looking back at it, I was definitely an alcoholic. Back then I used to not think so, after all, I went to work, earned a good salary, owned a house. So what if I'd wake up passed out on the couch at 3am...I wasn't hurting anyone
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Old 3rd May 2017, 6:15 PM   #22
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Wow, very interested replies to this thread. I have so many thoughts I don't even know where to begin, but I will just respond to this first as I digest...


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Originally Posted by Art_Critic View Post
Many people have emotional problems and aren't Drunks....

Yes, but they have poor coping mechanisms for emotional problems. Namely, drinking. Lots of people have poor coping mechanisms. Alcohol is just an example of one poor coping mechanism.
When you learn how to cope with life's problems in healthy ways, and identify even when you are experiencing a stressful and triggering time, then you can switch gears to healthy coping mechanisms.


On another note, I also think some people drink out of boredom. But then again, that's just a poor way to deal with boredom.
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Old 3rd May 2017, 6:25 PM   #23
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I did but she was too Codependent on me for it to last, she didn't go to Alanon and her own behavior wasn't good for my sobriety.
Oh this sounds juicy. Please do tell what she did and how it wasn't good for you.
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Old 7th May 2017, 4:18 PM   #24
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Any more single people?
I've only been drunk once in my life. Trouble was that one time began '74 and didn't end until '86.

There's been times when it's been pretty lonely being me. But being lonely being sober isn't the same kind of lonely as being lonely and being drunk.

In 1986, it dawned upon me that there's no problem, no feeling, no situation, that can't be made worse by taking that first drink.
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Old 7th May 2017, 4:29 PM   #25
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It's apparent pretty quickly to anyone interested enough to notice that I don't drink. That's fine by me. No one's time gets wasted.
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Old 7th May 2017, 5:13 PM   #26
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I come from a family of alcoholics on my mom's side and I use to always think they were "fun" but the older I am the more their dysfunction becomes obvious to me.
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Old 12th June 2017, 12:17 PM   #27
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I think this theory you have about singledom being some sort of impediment to recovery is just misguided. I came into the program single and have over four years now. I think probably at least half of people who make an attempt to get sober are single. When I came into AA I quickly felt welcomed by the people there and was able to make friends. This provided me with a level of companionship that helped. Obviously it wasn't romantic, but I still had a support structure. Eventually, I did find a girlfriend in the rooms, though we no longer see each other. I have dated outside the rooms as well and it has been pretty successful.

Bottom Line: Being single does not decrease the odds that you'll stay sober. I really don't see any basis for that.

Good luck.
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Old 25th June 2017, 8:17 AM   #28
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There isn't a person I dated who didn't know either on Date 1,2 or before the Date.. and I dated a lot.

There also isn't very many people who I meet that as soon as they get close to me learn that I'm an Alcoholic...

I have never hidden it and certainly am not embarrassed about it, if anything I'm somewhat proud of my accomplishment and also proud of who I have become being sober.

IMO, if an Alcoholic wants to drink they might hide who they are, part of the denial process.
Sure, other people notice fast enough they are while they swear to god they are not and there's always some other person or friends of them who's the real drunk.

So, yeah to the last paragraph which was the point I was making first ie the denial process.
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Old 26th June 2017, 9:18 PM   #29
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Actually, a lot of times getting sober will actually make a person drop their committed relationship because it triggers them to drink. My best friend got sober and divorced her first husband because he just sat around being a stoner and wouldn't help with housework or really even bills very much. So once she sobered up, she wouldn't put up with that.

She did most of her sobriety after moving to another town, though she leapfrogged husbands and found a replacement who she's still married to but I'm pretty sure he triggers her too because he's aggravating. Not sure how supportive either of them were. Pretty sure the first one was not.

Sobriety is something you kind of have to do alone but with a sponsor who is just a more experienced person in recovery. You sometimes have to get some new friends and let some go. Good luck with everything.
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