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SINGLE recovering alcoholic success stories


Addiction & Recovery Recognizing, conquering, and coping with addictions, substance abuse & dependence.

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Old 2nd May 2017, 10:38 PM   #1
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SINGLE recovering alcoholic success stories

I'd love to hear some stories from people who are SINGLE and have/are recovering from alcoholism. When I say single what I mean is that you are not married. I feel that married people have their spouse to be there with them thru it. I'd like to hear from SINGLE people please who went through this journey and consider themselves a successful story. At this point, and I admit, I don't know a lot of recovering alcoholics, I have not seen many single people get through this and come out okay on the other side. I am wondering if it's possible to do it by yourself (i.e. without a mate or without old friends who still drink) and stay sober. I think the loneliness may drive them to drink again.

If you are single and recovered, please state how long you have been sober.

Thank you!

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Old 3rd May 2017, 6:11 AM   #2
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I'm not single today but was when I sobered up.. I have been sober 30 years this coming June 28th.

I used AA, my Sponsor and the people inside AA to help me. IMO, as an Alcoholic we need our fellowship not spouses to help keep us sober.
My family was also there, some were supportive and some were not but all that mattered to me was that day by day I didn't want to drink.

I did lose a GF (fiance) that I had lived with for almost 4 years in the process.
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Old 3rd May 2017, 6:15 AM   #3
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Quote:
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I think the loneliness may drive them to drink again.
That is your Codependent side piping up, it isn't true...

An Alcoholic has roadblocks everywhere that may drive them to drink and those are the times they should call their Sponsor not spouse...

There is Alcohol on every street corner, in every bar we pass and every dinner we go to as well all of our friends normally drink some too... so trying to say that loneliness can cause you to drink again just doesn't hold water... if an alcoholic wants to drink they can...

An Alcoholic must take the first step and show the desire to want to quit, admit they are powerless over Alcohol and put effort into wanting to make their life better.
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Old 3rd May 2017, 7:44 AM   #4
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I am no expert but I'm not sure I buy that. Alcoholism stems from emotional problems, not the alcohol. They drink to not "feel" anymore. To go numb for a the moment of bad feelings. They need therapy to fix or learn to cope with emotional problems. Loneliness may be one of those problems they don't know how to cope with or it may not. I forgot about the sponsor, which is a good idea, but what I said about married people having a spouse to be there with them thru it is still true. There are all sorts of emotional problems that can come up but I just brought up this one because it came up for me.
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Old 3rd May 2017, 7:50 AM   #5
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Any more single people?
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Old 3rd May 2017, 7:57 AM   #6
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I did lose a GF (fiance) that I had lived with for almost 4 years in the process.
So you had someone part of the way and lost her during it. Did you get with someone else soon after you lost her? I'm guessing yes? I hear that recovering A's often get together with each other when they meet in rehab, AA, or classes. A bad idea of course but again I think that is due to loneliness. I think relationships end up being a source of stress for the A but they feel compelled towards them anyway. (
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Old 3rd May 2017, 9:18 AM   #7
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Most of the alcoholics I've met and known had success through being alone or being left somewhere in the process.
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Old 3rd May 2017, 12:16 PM   #8
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Not a success story.

I drink too frequently. I don't get staggering drunk but after working hours I am usually lubricated to some extent. It all started as a way to relieve stress. I think now it's become a source of stress.

It's not a healthy thing. I'd like to cut back but don't know if I really can without completely giving it up and I'm not sure I want to completely get rid of my "crutch"

Sigh.
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Old 3rd May 2017, 12:57 PM   #9
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15 years. Exactly as you describe. My only hope is to meet 1 person but I don't. I can't drink either and I lost my guts to end it. Working on guts and guy. I am f*cked.

I don't want this for me or you. I tell you for me this is as good as it gets. I was a blackout trouble maker. If I was not I would have probably gone back. My brother did. He's having a good old time and has long abandoned me.

I am Rapunzel and 45. My mother always said "you gotta make hay while the shines." I sure did try. I am sorry for my input but I am real and it is one story. There are others. I hope you find peace.
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Old 3rd May 2017, 1:02 PM   #10
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Interesting. Would you define yourself as a high-functioning alcoholic? In what sense is this becoming a source of stress? Is it affecting your life in any way negatively? I used to have a colleague who was a high-functioning alcoholic. He had to get himself very drunk regularly. But he was able to hold a very "prestigious" job pretty well, though I wasn't sure how much his personal life was impacted.

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Not a success story.

I drink too frequently. I don't get staggering drunk but after working hours I am usually lubricated to some extent. It all started as a way to relieve stress. I think now it's become a source of stress.

It's not a healthy thing. I'd like to cut back but don't know if I really can without completely giving it up and I'm not sure I want to completely get rid of my "crutch"

Sigh.
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Old 3rd May 2017, 1:03 PM   #11
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Thank you for sharing your inputs. I don't have a drinking problem myself but I have recently made friends with someone who has admitted to being a recovering alcoholic. (It hasn't been long) I wonder if they will last.
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Old 3rd May 2017, 1:11 PM   #12
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Thank you for sharing your inputs. I don't have a drinking problem myself but I have recently made friends with someone who has admitted to being a recovering alcoholic. (It hasn't been long) I wonder if they will last.
I am glad it's not you. Most don't. If not roped in to social support or fearful and convinced like me it's a matter of time. Good luck and don't date him for at least 7 years clean
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Old 3rd May 2017, 1:25 PM   #13
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It's hard to say because you can't classify all alcoholics as the same. I know that alcoholism runs in my family so I don't drink. Every once in a while I may have a sip of champagne on New Years Eve or at a wedding, but I generally avoid it.

The last woman I dated was an alcoholic. She pre-gamed before we would meet up and was in a full on blackout prior to ever going out. It took me a while to figure that out. Eventually, she got sober and the relationship got even worse, mostly because I didn't trust her anymore and she was just upset about her situation. However, she is still single now and doing well with her sobriety so I think it is totally possible. It really depends on the person, their willpower, and their support structure around them.
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Old 3rd May 2017, 1:39 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JuneL View Post
Interesting. Would you define yourself as a high-functioning alcoholic? In what sense is this becoming a source of stress? Is it affecting your life in any way negatively? I used to have a colleague who was a high-functioning alcoholic. He had to get himself very drunk regularly. But he was able to hold a very "prestigious" job pretty well, though I wasn't sure how much his personal life was impacted.
In my tinder profile the first time I was on I actually admitted to being a high functioning alcoholic. It didn't seem to keep me from getting matches. One professional woman I hooked up with a few times said she matched me because I admitted it. Said it was refreshing to see someone so honest and unpretentious. We saw each other for about two months but I stopped because all she ever wanted to do was get high and screw. I was looking for more. We actually work for the same company. Small world. After that experience I decided to remove the line from my profile.


I rarely become very drunk. I've only blacked out twice in my life. I also rarely go a week without having more than 20 drinks. If nothing else it is likely affecting my health negatively. My liver numbers on my last physical were not good.

My work history exemplifies stability (never unemployed and only 2 jobs over 30 years). Most people would call me successful (good income, nice title, respected by peers, recognized by management, and appreciated by my customers). I personally think I have underachieved significantly based on my natural abilities.

My personal life has generally been embarrassing to me. I don't think alcohol is directly to blame, though. I grew up with a lot of insecurities. Whenever I get close to someone those start rearing their ugly heads.
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Old 3rd May 2017, 3:08 PM   #15
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Very few people will admit openly to being alcoholic, but this is an Internet forum, with some anonymity.

I did have a bit of a drinking problem (insert ''Airplane'' meme here), in my twenties, there were times I was partying like almost everyone at some point but I realized that when I needed to have drinks by myself after work that I had some issues. Sometimes to the point of downing sixer of high ABV beers, or harder liquor.

Nowadays, a decade later, I'm still single, well at least never married. Once a month, I'll allow myself to have more than 3 beers in the evening to get buzzed a bit. Occasionally it's good for the soul and relieve stress, even alone.

When I am attending a party, most of the time I have to drive back home so rarely drink more than 2-3 while waiting to sober up a bit before hitting the road.

As for family lunch and dinner, champagne, some red wines and I'm done, I don't want to give a wrong impression to them, and they drink more than me anyway.

My own definition of an alcoholic would be someone who drink because sadness, loneliness, and or depression.
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