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Never Trust An Addict - True or False?


Addiction & Recovery Recognizing, conquering, and coping with addictions, substance abuse & dependence.

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Old 4th November 2014, 8:13 PM   #46
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Did you locate her prior relapse plan? She must have had one.

And my next suggestion is - make it perfectly clear when she enters the inpatient program that she needs to line up a solid plan to live somewhere else when she gets released.

That way the facility will find a place for her when she gets out and you won't have the situation of her living with you.

Since it didn't work last time there's no reason to do it that way ever again. A program of recovery is designed to invoke change for her life.

So I recommend that nothing be the same moving forward.
Thanks. Yes, I have it. And your other suggestion, agreed. One step at a time, but the clock is in fact ticking.
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Old 4th November 2014, 8:21 PM   #47
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Originally Posted by Hope Shimmers View Post
And just as an aside, I'm a little concerned that there were 150 alprazolam tablets for your mom to steal from your sister. It is pretty unusual for someone to have that quantity of Xanax in their possession except in rare instances, as most pharmacies won't fill for more than 30 at a time (at most). Are you sure your sister is not in a similar situation of abuse?
My mom's sister is not addicted, as far as I know. I feel very confident in that. She is independent, manages quite well on her own. And based on our conversations, they are logical and rational, unlike my mother.

Mom's sister has all her medications sent by mail. The Xanax specifically, I believe is sent in a qty. of 90 every three months. So, 150 out of 180 went missing.
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Old 4th November 2014, 8:34 PM   #48
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What were the specifics in her relapse plan/agreement she outlined?
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Old 4th November 2014, 9:35 PM   #49
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What were the specifics in her relapse plan/agreement she outlined?
Hi Beach.

Her discharge papers outlined:

-Follow-Up Appointment (Inpatient)
-Follow-Up Appointment (Outpatient)
-Additional Appointments (Medical/General)
-Educational Criteria: Substance Abuse, Medication, Diagnosis, ADL's, Living
Skills, Nutrition/Food-Drug Interaction
-Primary Diagnosis: Depression/Substance Dependence

I also have an Initial Recovery Plan and the list of medications that were temporarily prescribed upon discharge but that's marked confidential information. Thanks!
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Old 4th November 2014, 9:46 PM   #50
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Oh... I was referring to her specific plan if/when she started using again = relapse.

There's usually a plan outlining what is to take place if/when it happens... An agreement the user makes when/while they are more clear minded = discharging from inpatient care.

A plan of sorts that's set up ahead of time "just in case".



And I see so many contradictions in your last paragraph! I don't even know what to say! The idea if rehab is to get a person sober (unaltered).

Last edited by beach; 4th November 2014 at 9:48 PM..
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Old 4th November 2014, 9:50 PM   #51
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Oh... I was referring to her specific plan if/when she started using again = relapse.

There's usually a plan outlining what is to take place if/when it happens... An agreement the user makes when/while they are more clear minded = discharging from inpatient care.

A plan of sorts that's set up ahead of time "just in case".
So did another scan, no actual "relapse instructions" outlined.

Quote:
Originally Posted by beach View Post
And I see so many contradictions in your last paragraph! I don't even know what to say! The idea if rehab is to get a person sober (unaltered).
Which paragraph?

Last edited by Divasu; 4th November 2014 at 9:58 PM..
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Old 5th November 2014, 12:07 AM   #52
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So did another scan, no actual "relapse instructions" outlined.



Which paragraph?
Darn - I wish she had written out her plan for what would happen if needed.


That last paragraph that shows "initial recovery plan" but then refers to medicine she is to take. Then is simply marked confidential when the user is supposed to be working a program of honesty. Nothing mapping out if she were to attend meetings and/or certain ones and times she committed to, nothing about getting a sponsor etc. :-(
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Old 6th November 2014, 1:38 PM   #53
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Darn - I wish she had written out her plan for what would happen if needed.


That last paragraph that shows "initial recovery plan" but then refers to medicine she is to take. Then is simply marked confidential when the user is supposed to be working a program of honesty. Nothing mapping out if she were to attend meetings and/or certain ones and times she committed to, nothing about getting a sponsor etc. :-(
Hi Beach. Sorry I did not respond to this sooner, I kind of needed a "mental break" from it for a bit.

To clarify, she did write out a list of goals, which I can in fact see (when I said "confidential", I was merely respecting her rights that that information is private as opposed to posting it on here).

I can tell you that she did not get a sponsor after she was discharged from detox/rehab, but, she was in ongoing outpatient therapy the entire time after she was discharged and up until this very day. So, I know she is very capable of "doing the work", but, I guess somewhere along the way she lost her footing.

I want to personally thank you for the time you've devoted to this thread. While I don't know you personally, I am proud of all your accomplishments and you (all of the people who have responded too) have been a great source of support.

Last edited by Divasu; 6th November 2014 at 1:40 PM..
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Old 6th November 2014, 2:25 PM   #54
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Awww - I'm glad I could be helpful ;-)

And now it's time for you to state your boundaries. What do you plan (specifically) to DO to take care of you/yourself moving forward?

Do you have creative outlets? Are you prepared to tell her she's not moving back in with you? Are you ready to tell her that her recovery is HER responsibility that she must manage (and you will cheer her progress on from the sidelines)?

What is YOUR plan now that the chaos has subsided for the time being?
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Old 6th November 2014, 2:44 PM   #55
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Awww - I'm glad I could be helpful ;-)

And now it's time for you to state your boundaries. What do you plan (specifically) to DO to take care of you/yourself moving forward?

Do you have creative outlets? Are you prepared to tell her she's not moving back in with you? Are you ready to tell her that her recovery is HER responsibility that she must manage (and you will cheer her progress on from the sidelines)?

What is YOUR plan now that the chaos has subsided for the time being?
You have very much been so.

What do you plan (specifically) to DO to take care of you/yourself moving forward? Do you have creative outlets?

I am now working with a therapist to help me cope and manage my stress. In between, I spend time with friends, run my own business, participate in issues that are important (I have/continue to do volunteer work). I've done lots of things like acting classes, dance classes, etc., and will continue to pursue those things. I've maintained being a Pescetarian so I no longer eat red meat, pork, etc.

Are you prepared to tell her she's not moving back in with you? Are you ready to tell her that her recovery is HER responsibility that she must manage (and you will cheer her progress on from the sidelines)?

I've essentially told her that there will be no Xanax under our family's involvement and her choices are, get help, leave, or we will get the authorities involved. She appears to be taking baby steps towards seeking additional professional help to address the relapse. I've made a deadline in my mind for her to make appointments on her own and get in to see an Addiction Psychiatrist (which the inpatient facility recommended at this point).

What is YOUR plan now that the chaos has subsided for the time being?

To focus on myself and relax.
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Old 6th November 2014, 2:53 PM   #56
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Does this indicate she is still living with you now?
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Old 6th November 2014, 2:58 PM   #57
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Does this indicate she is still living with you now?
Yes. But the goal is, she won't come early next year.

She can either go to live with her son across the country, or, she will be in a senior housing type setting. It's really up to her where she wants to go, but, it can't be with me that's for sure.
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Old 6th November 2014, 3:02 PM   #58
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So you say there will be no Xanax under your involvement but she's still there and still taking the Xanax?
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Old 6th November 2014, 3:12 PM   #59
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So you say there will be no Xanax under your involvement but she's still there and still taking the Xanax?
She relapsed under my involvement, yes. After a period of not being on Xanax for 2.5 years.

Maybe with the taper of Klonopin prior to that, and, her knowing she is going to be leaving my "care" in the next few months, sent her over the edge. Who knows.

I can only handle/manage the here and now, right now, and moving forward.

Does that make sense?
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Old 6th November 2014, 3:34 PM   #60
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She relapsed under my involvement, yes. After a period of not being on Xanax for 2.5 years.

Maybe with the taper of Klonopin prior to that, and, her knowing she is going to be leaving my "care" in the next few months, sent her over the edge. Who knows.

I can only handle/manage the here and now, right now, and moving forward.

Does that make sense?
Honey, I asked a question and you seemed to take responsibility for her "relapse under your involvement".

My suggestion is have her leave TODAY!!! Detox now!

You've stated you don't want a user in your house that takes Xanax. But she's using and she's in YOUR house! Have her leave now.

This is YOUR BOUNDARY and YOU must stick to it.

You can simply pack her one bag and drop her off at the emergency room.

That's it! It is HERS to handle from there!!! And the hospital will line up care/a treatment plan for her while she's there.

Let go and let god! Let it go now knowing it isn't YOUR responsibility and you can't make her do it.

But I promise - when you stop giving her the options and delaying action - she WILL get more open to considering getting help!

The time isn't later - the time is NOW!

Drop her off and say "I love you - hope you get well Mom"


Since you've stated that is YOUR boundary - I'd love to see you abide by that guideline for yourself!

Last edited by beach; 6th November 2014 at 3:42 PM..
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