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Here's a simple question. At what age do you think someone should legally be able to give informed consent to have sex?

 

Personally, I think 16 is a about right. That's the age of consent here. A person who is 16 can give consent ( though there are parts of the law that apply to other age groups and situations, such as when the two people are close in age, etc.)

 

I've raised 3 kids, and am a firm believer that just because you have the equipment and know how it works, that doesn't necessarily mean one has the emotional and mental maturity needed to be able to handle the situation.

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Could you expand on what 'legal consent' means?

 

If it means that a guy my age could legally have sex with a 16 yo, as example, without legal repercussions, IDK.

 

Whenever I see this subject come up I'm reminded of a real life deal where the 26yo was dating the 16 yo, married her when she was 18 and spent the majority of his life ogling young women. He got married in 1947 and I was watching him do his thing as late as in the 1990's.

 

Myself, I like things simple if we're doing legal. Contract, sex, vote, die for country, drink..... pick an age. IMO, any answer is tough, as a parent.

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Honestly, I think about age difference more than a hard and fast age. My personal opinion is that 16 is a good, logical, middle of the road and normal age of consent. Anything much younger or older would be based on outliers, which would be statistically stupid. I mean, my friend how grew up on a farm could drive a stick when he was 10. So should ten year olds get driver licenses? I mean...duh.

 

That said, there is a difference between 15 and 17 years olds and a 16 and 40 year old. This is 2017 not biblical times. I don't think a 17 year old boy who sleeps with his 15 year old girlfriend consensually should be charged with rape. I also think it should NOT be okay for a teacher to sleep with her student, even if she is 22 and he is nearly 18 - it's a power thing.

 

The average 14 year old does NOT understand enough about the ramifications of sex to consent. And a normal, healthy 40 year old is not going to want to sex up a high school senior.

 

To me, these are just common sense realities.

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GunslingerRoland

I think 16 seems like a reasonable age since laws need to be made. It doesn't necessarily mean that every 16 year old is ready for it, or that every 15 year old isn't.

 

I used to think it made sense to have laws about age range differences, but really they just make the laws more complicated. Not saying a 40 year old and a 17 year old having sex is a good thing, but neither is a 40 year old and an 18 year old. Some things while morally questionable don't need to be illegal either.

 

The more important laws IMO are the ones about positions of power.

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somanymistakes

The problem with any hard-and-fast rule is that there are always exceptions. It's never going to make sense that one day you're totally unable to consent and the next day you're totally able to.

 

A lot of locales already have lots of fuzzy rule workarounds, so it's illegal if one's over 18 and the other isn't, but legal if they're both under 18 (and over 13). This can run into its own snag if you have two young people who were already dating and one turns 18 and now suddenly they're a criminal (this has actually happened, people have been prosecuted for relationships that were legal until their birthdays).

 

And there are often rules against teacher/student relations even if the student is over 18 (I think up to 21 is still illegal in many states) but then you split into people who think it should be legal if they waited until they were no longer teacher/student, and people who think that's grooming and a teacher should never be allowed to date a former pupil.

 

Many states make an exception so that it's okay to have sex with a minor if you're married to them. Even really, really young ones. And who gets to decide the marriage in those cases? The parents, of course... So yes, in much of the USA, you can marry a twelve-year-old girl and have sex with her as long as you can talk her parents into it.

 

What almost no state or country is willing to do is actually talk to the minor in question and determine what they think about the situation!

 

When you put teenagers into a position where they have no rights and no recourse, many of them will lash out in crazy ways. There are sixteen year olds who marry each other because it's the only way they'll be allowed to have sex. While yes, sex has repercussions and consequences, the consequences of letting two horny teenagers bang are probably better than the consequences of pushing them to get married and set up a household that young when they're really not prepared for it.

 

There are also sixteen year olds who date older men and, being aware that the relationship is illegal and their beloved boyfriends will go to jail if they get caught, become that much more afraid to reach out for advice when they're in trouble, or run away from home so that they can be together.

 

I'm not sure how to address the subject legally in order to give teens a chance for their voices to be heard, but I think in a lot of cases people would be better off if they had some recourse to plead for their own rights.

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GorillaTheater

I think it makes sense to have one age of consent, for everything from engaging in sex, to entering into binding contracts, to joining the military, to drinking.

 

 

If we go by when the brain fully matures, we're probably looking at 25. Maybe 30.

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Here's a simple question. At what age do you think someone should legally be able to give informed consent to have sex?

i'd say 18 is about right

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I think we should add taking on debt to that list i.e student loan companies peddling it to 17 year olds, who really do not understand the words 'compounding interest'.

 

16 is probably fair enough, hard to stop them if they want to anyway.

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In looking through some old content on the topic, I did see reference to, and can probably find it in the codes, restrictions on adults over 18 having relations with a 16yo (or 14yo in Canada if that's still current) where there was a relationship of power or trust, as example teacher/student. Some had two year parameters, meaning the 'older' partner couldn't be more than two years older, if under 18 so, if age of consent was 14 and that person was having sex with a 17yo, the older person could be in trouble with the law. As usual, laws vary everywhere and are mind-numbingly complex and open to interpretation. Hence, if one thinks they have it nailed in their locale and happen to hook up while on the road, watch out. As mobile as high school and college students are these days, that could be an issue.

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Yeah it's an interesting conundrum. It's definitely not OK for adults to be preying on teenagers, but it shouldn't be a legal issue for horny teenagers to bang.

 

I think some age difference law under 18 should apply (say 2 or 3 years) to allow for this, but 18 and over anything goes. If it's a teacher and an 18 year old (or older) high school student there are duty of care/sexual harassment laws that prevent it (here there are, anyway).

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In looking through some old content on the topic, I did see reference to, and can probably find it in the codes, restrictions on adults over 18 having relations with a 16yo (or 14yo in Canada if that's still current) where there was a relationship of power or trust, as example teacher/student. Some had two year parameters, meaning the 'older' partner couldn't be more than two years older, if under 18 so, if age of consent was 14 and that person was having sex with a 17yo, the older person could be in trouble with the law. As usual, laws vary everywhere and are mind-numbingly complex and open to interpretation. Hence, if one thinks they have it nailed in their locale and happen to hook up while on the road, watch out. As mobile as high school and college students are these days, that could be an issue.

 

Here, the age of consent is 16 ( the law got changed a while back), but there age exceptions in certain circumstances.

 

The laws apply across the country, as this is considered a federal, and not provincial, point of law. I am assuming it's the same in Quebec. Sometimes their laws can be a little bit different.

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I think 16 seems like a reasonable age since laws need to be made. It doesn't necessarily mean that every 16 year old is ready for it, or that every 15 year old isn't.

 

I used to think it made sense to have laws about age range differences, but really they just make the laws more complicated. Not saying a 40 year old and a 17 year old having sex is a good thing, but neither is a 40 year old and an 18 year old. Some things while morally questionable don't need to be illegal either.

 

The more important laws IMO are the ones about positions of power.

 

I entirely agree.

 

A 17 yo guy having sex with a 15 year old is not a pedophile.

 

A 25 year old having sex with a 15 yo is.

 

Honestly it's not an easy question. We are ''adults'' by 18 and nobody above that age should have sex with a minor.

 

My current GF was in a RL at age 19 with a 40 something guy and LOVED him. Love knows no bounderies of age (if legal), race or sex (LGBT).

 

So I guess 16 is acceptable. Only if having sex with a fellow teen.

 

14? Nah, sorry if I ever have children I wouldn't be happy my daughter having sex with a guy and would shot the little pr*ck.

 

Just my opinion anyway.

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I have three kids ( one who is an adult now), and they have all been through the sex ed program at their schools.

 

They focused on the mechanics of sex, date rape, abusive relationships, etc., but they never really got into the consequences of having sex, the emotions of relationships, that sort of things. I assume they want parents/ caregivers to take on that task, but tbh, a lot of what goes on today, I don't understand ( I just found out what tinder is, for example:laugh:)

 

They do the de riguer exercise of caring for an egg for a week to simulate caring for a baby ( that didn't work out so well, as I would put the egg in the fridge- I'm not having some rotten old egg sitting around my house for a week) but for the life of me, I can't figure out what good that exercise did.

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GunslingerRoland

Honestly it's not an easy question. We are ''adults'' by 18 and nobody above that age should have sex with a minor.

 

How does that work? When you turn 18 you have to break up with your gf/bf and only date people older than you for a bit until you get some people younger than you?

 

It gets silly really fast.

 

When I was 20 I briefly dated a 16 year old, it wasn't my best choice, but I wasn't a pedophile. Just a guy who had no experience with dating, and had more in common with a 16 year old relationship wise, than I would of most 20 year olds. *disclaimer we never had sex*

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How does that work? When you turn 18 you have to break up with your gf/bf and only date people older than you for a bit until you get some people younger than you?

 

It gets silly really fast.

 

When I was 20 I briefly dated a 16 year old, it wasn't my best choice, but I wasn't a pedophile. Just a guy who had no experience with dating, and had more in common with a 16 year old relationship wise, than I would of most 20 year olds. *disclaimer we never had sex*

 

That's why it's difficult to answer the OP question. Nah it doesn't make you a pedophile at all.

 

People hold different opinions on this, and world cultures also varies a lot. so...

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Here's a simple question. At what age do you think someone should legally be able to give informed consent to have sex?

 

Personally, I think 16 is a about right. That's the age of consent here. A person who is 16 can give consent ( though there are parts of the law that apply to other age groups and situations, such as when the two people are close in age, etc.)

 

I've raised 3 kids, and am a firm believer that just because you have the equipment and know how it works, that doesn't necessarily mean one has the emotional and mental maturity needed to be able to handle the situation.

 

After being fully capable of understanding how their body functions. Eg if a young woman can not detect her ovulation *without* a test = she’s not ready for sex.

 

People are designed to have sex after the onset of puberty. So 14-16, considering the sex education was top notch, is about the right time.

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somanymistakes
After being fully capable of understanding how their body functions. Eg if a young woman can not detect her ovulation *without* a test = she’s not ready for sex.

 

I'm a lot older than 18 and I have no idea what you're talking about.

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Since a 16-yr-old is in no way prepared to support and care for a child and pregnancy, accidental or otherwise, is a strong possibility, I think 18 is fine because at least by then they have a high school diploma, though I still think it's far too young to be having kids. But POSSIBLY old enough to be trusted with birth control.

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The problem with any hard-and-fast rule is that there are always exceptions. It's never going to make sense that one day you're totally unable to consent and the next day you're totally able to.

 

A lot of locales already have lots of fuzzy rule workarounds, so it's illegal if one's over 18 and the other isn't, but legal if they're both under 18 (and over 13). This can run into its own snag if you have two young people who were already dating and one turns 18 and now suddenly they're a criminal (this has actually happened, people have been prosecuted for relationships that were legal until their birthdays).

 

And there are often rules against teacher/student relations even if the student is over 18 (I think up to 21 is still illegal in many states) but then you split into people who think it should be legal if they waited until they were no longer teacher/student, and people who think that's grooming and a teacher should never be allowed to date a former pupil.

 

Many states make an exception so that it's okay to have sex with a minor if you're married to them. Even really, really young ones. And who gets to decide the marriage in those cases? The parents, of course... So yes, in much of the USA, you can marry a twelve-year-old girl and have sex with her as long as you can talk her parents into it.

 

What almost no state or country is willing to do is actually talk to the minor in question and determine what they think about the situation!

 

When you put teenagers into a position where they have no rights and no recourse, many of them will lash out in crazy ways. There are sixteen year olds who marry each other because it's the only way they'll be allowed to have sex. While yes, sex has repercussions and consequences, the consequences of letting two horny teenagers bang are probably better than the consequences of pushing them to get married and set up a household that young when they're really not prepared for it.

 

There are also sixteen year olds who date older men and, being aware that the relationship is illegal and their beloved boyfriends will go to jail if they get caught, become that much more afraid to reach out for advice when they're in trouble, or run away from home so that they can be together.

 

I'm not sure how to address the subject legally in order to give teens a chance for their voices to be heard, but I think in a lot of cases people would be better off if they had some recourse to plead for their own rights.

 

Here's the thing....that is how rules operate. Say my birthday is on January 1 2000. On January 1, 2016 I can get my driver's license. On December 31 I can't. It has nothing to do with magically being ready. It's about a standard.

 

I have applied for and gotten quite a few grants. The deadlines are firm. If the deadline is September 30, then October 1 is too late. That's how it works.

 

I get that there are human variables, but that is not how we make rules and laws. I mean, I'm sorry that the 20 year and 364 day old may in fact be responsible enough to drink today. But until she is actually 21....it's not legal in my state. Sorry.

 

We seem to have lost our ability to respect law and authority and want exceptions to be made for everything.

 

No

 

That isn't how life works. Sorry.

 

It's not rocket science. Just follow the rules.

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After being fully capable of understanding how their body functions. Eg if a young woman can not detect her ovulation *without* a test = she’s not ready for sex.

 

People are designed to have sex after the onset of puberty. So 14-16, considering the sex education was top notch, is about the right time.

 

LOL that made me laugh out loud. Good lord, detect her own ovulation???

 

That is just about the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.

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How does that work? When you turn 18 you have to break up with your gf/bf and only date people older than you for a bit until you get some people younger than you?

 

It gets silly really fast.

 

When I was 20 I briefly dated a 16 year old, it wasn't my best choice, but I wasn't a pedophile. Just a guy who had no experience with dating, and had more in common with a 16 year old relationship wise, than I would of most 20 year olds. *disclaimer we never had sex*

 

I don't think any normal person would consider you a pedophile. That is just silly. BUT, if the age of consent is 17, and she was 16 and you 20....then yeah, legally you could have been charged with statutory rape had she had massive helicopter parents or something.

 

I still don't understand why we want to blame laws when we break them.

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GunslingerRoland

I still don't understand why we want to blame laws when we break them.

 

Because laws aren't always made for the right reasons. Look at all of the places that have ridiculous sex laws on the books.

 

If you make the law 18 that is fine, but then you are going to have teenagers having sex regardless of the law just like you have teenagers drinking.

 

Except getting charged with under aged drinking is a misdemeanor I believe, whereas statutory rape is a sex crime that can ruin someones life.

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