LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > General > General Relationship Discussion

This article totally nailed it: Why are good men so hard to find?


General Relationship Discussion Everything else under the sun. Not sure where to post? This is the place!

Like Tree261Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 26th September 2017, 7:22 AM   #61
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,462
Haha that's quite a wish list there tfy , wonder how many women could live up too being the perfect women for our wish list , bout the same proportion l'd say.

So what's your perfect women guys ?
Chilli is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 7:33 AM   #62
Established Member
 
Elswyth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 24,790
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chilli View Post
Haha that's quite a wish list there tfy , wonder how many women could live up too being the perfect women for our wish list , bout the same proportion l'd say.
I wouldn't say it's an unrealistic list, assuming that by "good-looking and well-built" one doesn't necessarily mean he would qualify for Mr. Universe, but rather just that he looks attractive to her. The other qualities TFY listed sound fairly reasonable to me, although not all women want kids either, so that point wouldn't apply to those who didn't. I do think he is ascribing too much credit to the author of the article, though. The article really just reads to me like the author is trying to find someone or something to blame for a life that she is unsatisfied with.

To me, "good" is mostly defined by how he treats the woman who is supposedly the love of his life. Does he care about her beyond just what she can "provide" him, does he prioritize her well-being and happiness? Does he put time and effort into their relationship? Does he try to do nice things for her? Does he treat her with respect and love? All of the other things - like being generous or gainfully employed, etc, are all merely extensions of that. A man who cared about his partner would not leave her to do all the breadwinning and housework while he sat around drinking beer and playing video games, for instance.
__________________
~Perfection is about accepting that we cannot control everything and letting go of some of our preconceived notions.~ -Spiritofnow-

Last edited by Elswyth; 26th September 2017 at 7:43 AM..
Elswyth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 8:09 AM   #63
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 134
Quote:
Originally Posted by basil67 View Post
This blog may have been written by a woman. But she's basically promoting a book written by a man.

Interesting that a male writer can be so out of touch with the average men and that the woman writing the blog about the book is so out of touch with the average woman.
Based on the article, the intended readership of the book seems to be conservative women. The author knows what they want to hear.
basil67 likes this.
AMarriedMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 8:11 AM   #64
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 134
Quote:
Originally Posted by cocorico View Post
We’d have The Talk, about expectations, what we wanted, etc, and they’d swear blind they just wanted something transient, a roll in the hay.... but a couple of weeks down the line there would be flowers at work. Soppy cards. Dropping by unannounced “to make supper, so you can rest up”, trying to insinuate themselves into my kids’ lives.... I’d be forced to dump them, however good the sex.

And I’m not an outlier, either. Several of my friends had similar experiences.
Do you use hormonal contraception?
AMarriedMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 8:40 AM   #65
Established Member
 
CptInsano's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: South of Lake Erie
Posts: 1,372
Quote:
Originally Posted by AMarriedMan View Post
Based on the article, the intended readership of the book seems to be conservative women. The author knows what they want to hear.
That is my impression, also. Applying Occam's razor to this topic I always end up with economic issues and their direct consequences. (Women and men are both employed, so marriage is no-longer a necessity.) Combining that with effective contraception that makes casual sex possible, I don't need any other causes to explain a trend towards less traditional forms of relationships.

Taking a more judgemental approach may however sell books.
__________________
"You can't compare cars to women. Cars need to be loved." -Walter Röhrl
CptInsano is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 8:44 AM   #66
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 134
Quote:
Originally Posted by road View Post
Since the women's cartel collapsed, women's bargaining power has seriously eroded. That's why so many single women hate Tinder, which has further commodified sex for the benefit of men. Women are just another consumer good in the shop window.
And the men on Tinder just pick up the women like items from a supermarket shelve and have sex with them, just like that with little effort expended? You must be a woman, probably a middle-aged conservative woman who has probably never even used Tinder. *Everybody* on Tinder is commodified. Tinder is of no use to anyone but the most attractive men for whom Tinder is a convenient way to gain access to the Mac&Cheese equivalent of sex.

Quote:
Because women have drank from the Kool-Aid
of Feminism without any critical thinking to
filter out the good from the bad.

Women were and still need to be the gate keepers.

However they think that they should give it up
as much and easy as the men do.
Women are still very much the gatekeepers, except for the top 10% or so of guys who can easily get their dicks wet by slumming it. Nearly every woman has had one or a few experiences of that, being perhaps exciting but ultimately unsatisfying for them. "The men" obviously include only those men in your discourse.

Quote:
So why buy the cow when you can get the milk
(or MILF) for free?
There is no such thing as sex for free for a man.

One-night-stands are an expensive form of obtaining sex for the average man and it's is not even the female partners who gain. Third parties such as clubs and alcoholic beverage producers and distributers are the main beneficiaries. Girlfriends provide the lowest-cost sex to the average man. But even that is far from free. Girlfriends demand many kinds of resources devoted to them in exchange for what they do for their BF. A live-in girlfriend may want you to go shopping with them, frequently complain about things going on in their lives (including their boyfriend, that is you), expect gifts or financial support, and expect their BF to be their emotional supporter and problem solver, demand that their BF quit their hobbies etc., and not reciprocate in any of these ways like in a true partnership.

What men increasingly refuse to do these days is get married. Because among married couples the husband is typically the higher-earning spouse, a man getting married may reasonably expect marriage to prove a heavy financial liability in case of divorce, which has a high probability of occurring, without any corresponding obligations for or restrictions on the wife (under most jurisdictions).

Quote:
As to OLD. Women do not need the internet to
get laid.
All a woman needs to get laid is a pulse.
umirano likes this.
AMarriedMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 8:59 AM   #67
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,462
Don't worry El ain't easy finding a women that treats ya right either , matter of fact l wouldn't even even single right now if it was,damn.
they get just as slack as guys on the long haul.

Last edited by Chilli; 26th September 2017 at 9:02 AM..
Chilli is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 9:46 AM   #68
Established Member
 
Elswyth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 24,790
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chilli View Post
Don't worry El ain't easy finding a women that treats ya right either , matter of fact l wouldn't even even single right now if it was,damn.
they get just as slack as guys on the long haul.
Oh, I definitely don't think finding a "good" man (or woman) is easy... I do think it is worth holding out for though.
Elswyth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 10:31 AM   #69
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1,254
Quote:
Originally Posted by AMarriedMan View Post
Based on the article, the intended readership of the book seems to be conservative women. The author knows what they want to hear.
Thanks for making me choke in laughter on my Coke Zero. I am a very conservative woman and I found this article laughable. A jaded woman promoting a book written by a jaded man. That pretty much sums it up.

I swear, the hyper hairy feminists and RedPill MGTOW'ers are ruining dating for everyone else. They should just buy their own unhappy islands stocked with porn and Diva cups and leave the rest of us alone.
knabe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 4:47 PM   #70
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 134
Quote:
Originally Posted by knabe View Post
Thanks for making me choke in laughter on my Coke Zero. I am a very conservative woman and I found this article laughable. A jaded woman promoting a book written by a jaded man. That pretty much sums it up.
Jaded?? I'd say it was written by longing for the good old days when men were real men and women were chaste and virtuous. That's right up conservative alley. I don't know what kind of conservative you are but the sentiment that the world is deteriorating and that an effort is needed to conserve what's tried-and-true is necessary is what being a conservative is essentially about.

Quote:
I swear, the hyper hairy feminists and RedPill MGTOW'ers are ruining dating for everyone else. They should just buy their own unhappy islands stocked with porn and Diva cups and leave the rest of us alone.
How have feminists ruined dating for you? And, pray tell, how can any MGTOW ruin dating for anybody simply by being MGTOW? Most of them volunteer to stay out of dating altogether. Besides, if you are dating someone who never wishes to marry and is upfront about that, it is your own fault to continue dating that person if you want to marry them. Or have you encountered liars? If so, your experience would hardly be unique and not requiring any novel acronym to describe it.

Last edited by AMarriedMan; 26th September 2017 at 4:55 PM..
AMarriedMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 5:16 PM   #71
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1,254
Quote:
Originally Posted by AMarriedMan View Post
Jaded?? I'd say it was written by longing for the good old days when men were real men and women were chaste and virtuous. That's right up conservative alley. I don't know what kind of conservative you are but the sentiment that the world is deteriorating and that an effort is needed to conserve what's tried-and-true is necessary is what being a conservative is essentially about.



How have feminists ruined dating for you? And, pray tell, how can any MGTOW ruin dating for anybody simply by being MGTOW? Most of them volunteer to stay out of dating altogether. Besides, if you are dating someone who never wishes to marry and is upfront about that, it is your own fault to continue dating that person if you want to marry them. Or have you encountered liars? If so, your experience would hardly be unique and not requiring any novel acronym to describe it.
Calm down, sweetie. I'm a traditional woman marrying a traditional man. I'm very happy. I just think the article is bunk.

Aren't you the guy who got his wife to "shape up" by treating her like crap and making her afraid you'd leave? That's not traditional.

Last edited by knabe; 26th September 2017 at 5:18 PM..
knabe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 5:50 PM   #72
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 134
Quote:
Originally Posted by knabe View Post
Aren't you the guy who got his wife to "shape up" by treating her like crap and making her afraid you'd leave? That's not traditional.
No, I'm not that guy. You're confusing me with someone else. And I've never declared myself to be traditional or non-traditional here.
AMarriedMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 6:02 PM   #73
Established Member
 
cocorico's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,250
Quote:
Originally Posted by AMarriedMan View Post
Do you use hormonal contraception?
No. Not since I fell pregnant on the Pill in my early 20s.
__________________
Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

- Mark Twain
cocorico is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 8:37 PM   #74
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 638
Quote:
Originally Posted by thefooloftheyear View Post
I dunno if it's such a mystery...while no one is perfect, i'd imagine the average woman would consider a "good" man, one who is good looking, well built, accomplished. intelligent, worldly, generous., family oriented and willing to be a proper father of her kids, generally kind to others and showing "quiet" Alpha qualities.... without a lot of bluster and brashness....


TFY
There are universally agreed upon characteristics of a good man.

Are these good men easy to find nowadays?

It's HARD! why? why would a man work hard and cherish a woman, who used to easily jump to the beds of other men? he is not her one and only.

cheap sex makes a man hard to be family oriented.
road likes this.
Springsummer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 8:40 PM   #75
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 638
Quote:
Originally Posted by knabe View Post
A jaded woman promoting a book written by a jaded man. That pretty much sums it up.
What makes you think they are jaded? you know them personally? I don't.

Just because they have observations that are different than your experience and you attack them personally?

What makes your opinions more valid than them?
Springsummer is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
IMO: why it's so hard to find the good ones El Brujo In Search Of... 3 19th May 2013 1:11 PM
A good therapist is hard to find Kamille Dating 11 4th February 2011 12:39 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 8:13 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.